Just don’t forget to reevaluate on June 20 like RV said. 
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Yes as @Sub.Zero reminded, the re-evaluation.
I should have emphasized the re-evaluation more in what I previously said.
I say re-evaluate on June 20 because that will give you more than a week to have a think about it. It should be enough time. Maybe you’ll think Genesis plus CFW, or Genesis solo, or Genesis with another of the new releases. (Remember there are still some more releases planned.)
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Wow. I’m at lunch, and a little act of kindness seems to be opening me up. Will write later
I did have something pop up today, but I’m holding off. Why? I feel it’s all a whine. I’m changing this pattern.
If you can, can you point me to threads or users who have shared their evaluation experience? Thanks.
Maybe this could help:
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May 25th, 2023
Rest day
I had an absolutely amazing experience today.
Yesterday, I did a loop of CFW with a loop of Ascension Chamber in the morning, then I did another loop of CFW in the evening. I sensed AC working, but CFW was quiet.
Then, this morning, I noticed an uncomfortableness with my demeanor towards people. I sensed myself in that victim mentality–usually shown by some sad, needy look I’d give people, even in passing. (Honestly, I’ve only been paying attention to this recently).
I was very aware of this heaviness on me this morning, and I kept myself distant from others. I felt pain, but I couldn’t identify it. I could find no normal mental boxes to put it in.
And during our morning meeting, I noticed the district manager looking at me, and I felt some shame since I wasn’t really emotionally there. CFW was doing something, and me hiding wasn’t a part of the plan. My mind was working on something,
About an hour later, I was on our route, on the back of a garbage truck, and I saw in my mind what I’d been feeling that morning. I was in my crib, I was less than 2 years old, and I had my arms up, wanting and seeking my mother so she’d love me. My mom walked by the bedroom door, but she looked really traumatized and forsaken. She turned and walked away.
I realized I had been throwing this childhood need for love onto others. I saw myself back at the shop in present day, holding my arms up, crying for someone to love me. Feeling helpless in all of it. Exactly like I’ve been treating others.
However, during this manifestation, I wasn’t scared. It was like fear had been turned off. So I stayed with it, quite willingly. I quickly saw that a victim mindset is only a fruit. The trauma of feeling unwanted and ignored was the root.
I found I had a really good day following that. As if some fear had been broke. I’m incredulous. I realized that some people pay 1000’s of dollars with therapists (taking years), and may open these memories up. I spent about $27 on a subliminal. And maybe 3 weeks. DAAAMMMMNNNNN.
Gonna sleep now. I’ll do 2 loops of CFW tomorrow morning.
P.S. This experience made me realize Genesis is a must. Emotional healing has been my goal, and with Genesis’ success scripting, I’m definitely going that route.
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Something I clearly noticed yesterday was how much time and energy has been devoted to constantly hiding from this memory. Since starting CFW, I’ve noticed this nonstop avoidance of fears and feelings associated with this event.
But it popped up without all that emotional energy. Which is why I jumped into it when it surfaced.
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2 loops CFW this morning
I’m at work, feeling legitimately prompted to step out of my normal comfort zone.
Also, I felt oķ with myself when outside other’s conversations. Just feeling that prompted me to step back. I wasn’t needy.
I am gonna be ok.
Wow
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May 27, 2023
Rest day
I must still have issues there.
I just answered my own question. Reflecting on the flash of awareness 2 days ago, I realized something. I feel like I’m writing backwards. I am.
I’ve been reading the Genesis thread tonight, and I just left it. I almost replied there…then “damn!”, familiar patterns popped up. It’s frustrating–and right in the path to me freely expressing myself.
I considered writing…and then a morose, hollow, and needy me appeared, like it was his time to show up, to air his heavyness, his unspoken desire for love…and to not shut up. So. Damn. Familiar.
This has popped up for years. It’s the same unhealed cry for love I felt and saw just 2 days back. To address it (without thinking much of alternatives), I think I’ll add LBFH to CFW tomorrow.
I’ll also add this. I realized Ascension Chamber played a LARGE part in that last awareness. I PM’d someone about adding it tomorrow, as a lot of experimentation has happened which I’m unaware of. I felt CFW digging yesterday, and I felt the same 2 days ago. When I added AC, it allowed that memory to unfold right in my mind’s eye. It felt like it was supposed to happen.
So I asked for counsel on it.
I remember reading someone’s advice in the Genesis thread (2 days ago) to stop habitually blocking the same manifestations they say they wanted. I was with a driver that same day, and he offered me lunch as a thank you. I outwardly accepted, but I was so aware of an inner “NO!!!” which came out as “yeah…cool…BUT (said quietly)…” It saddened me the minute I realized this.
It saddened me because a brotherly figure was offering me a gift, but an (injured) part of me was trying to stay “safe” by demanding distance. I realized yesterday that that door hasn’t been opened yet by CFW. I’m tightening up while writing. Yeah, that memory’s not been touched in years.
So yeah, some healing is still happening. Real relevant stuff. Things which fight to not be changed and challenged. AC somehow helps doors open when all other avenues seem closed off.
May 28, 2023
CFW and LBFH hours ago
Wow.
Dang.
…
Ever start something while a sub is working on you, and you feel like you should be doing something else?
I’m not talking about switching subs. Not that at all. I’m seeing that inner voice of mine get louder and louder with something I’m doing which is opposite what I normally desire. I’ll give specifics now.
I live in a house with a 90 year old man, and he’s hard of hearing. And he has large screen TV’s in every single room. He’s in his bedroom currently, but I can hear his TV in the other end of the house.
By itself, this post is just me bitching. But I’ve lived without a TV the last 12 years since TV’s running non-stop mirror my childhood. I can get drawn into a “I don’t want to think for myself” mode, allowing it to steer my thoughts for today.
This hits me since i grew up with TV always on. No talking while it was on. No communication, no thinking, no planning, no hoping. In short, no connecting at all. Reflecting on that just now has me sitting in an old house of ours under those same realities. I’m using CFW now, so it’s pointing right at this.
Now, back to my original question. I had begun a movie 30 minutes ago, actually I watched it last week, so I knew it was just a time waste. It’s Sunday, and my goal (that I’d not admitted to myself) has been to hide from the things stressing me–literally, the pain CFW is pointing to.
And dammit, I turned it off 15 minutes in. I’ve loved escapes. What’s happening to me?
I think this is highlighting my awareness mentioned earlier this week of me constantly blocking manifestations in my life. Watching TV, for me, is equal to condoning wasting years of life since noone had tools or initiative to step out. It was a “free” and endorsed escape.
yeah, I’m being challenged by CFW now. I’ve hung on to this fantasy of finding some happiness outside of me. Or rather, believing it was outside of me. Even thinking “someone else” had something that could make me happy. TV pushes this lie non-stop.
And now, a new question that popped up. What do I do with my time now? 
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May 29, 2023
Rest day
I noticed my mood and demeanor around another employee here moments ago. It was the same unspoken, sad, needy cry for help again.
AC pointed it out days back, and I’ve been considering a CFW/AC custom to give it traction.
I’m just unsure if that would address it.
It was just moments ago I also realized I have never fully included love to heal myself, if at all.
I’m at home, and I’m noticing something.
I’ve felt some internal discomfort today, but I’ve felt less need to run. I’ve seen normal challenges today, and I’m not in flight mode.
I’ve really desired some maturity and willingness to face people and situations I’ve normally steered away from. I’m noticing some fruit. I actually succeeded doing this today.
I’m pleased.
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May 30, 2023
CFW and LBFH this morning
Something new popped up moments ago. My fears and all its variations have been toning down considerably, and a thought came with a bunch of old memories.
Teaching.
I’ll sit on this. Lots of positive memories. But also fears and regret.
Why am I/was I afraid to commit?
CFW is working on this.
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May 31, 2023
Rest day
CFW is digging. I woke up imagining standing up for the truth against governmental authorities consistently whittling down freedoms. My truth was and is “they never give those freedoms back”.
The relevancy is I barely even stand up for myself. Opposing a single person has always been linked to fears of rejection, and ultimately, emotional abandonment. This is linked to that memory of my mom I had days ago.
No. It’s not. It’s not.
I’m digging here myself. I’ve been noticing me sidestepping this fear because it’s been trying to work itself out lately. I think…no, I know…that that need for brotherly love has been surfacing lately. My subconscious needy looks to male coworkers come from this. And there’s this internal shaming of myself so I’ll not need anyone. Anyone at all. However, my heart is winning out. I just abandon myself during this time.
I am doing this in my own life. I’ll be around 100 guys, and I’ll send out this message like “you don’t want me”. I am terrified of being abandoned again, so I push every male away. Attached is a fear of being gay since my brother did sexual stuff with me. I allowed it, needing his love. No dad in the picture.
Tears now. I usually abandon myself there, having fears of others abandoning me too. I don’t tell my truth often hoping I won’t be abandoned. And then… I abandon myself.
But something is changing. I usually hold all this in, and part of me cries out to just spill it. I’ve been praying lately for honesty and integrity, because some of my truths are suffocating me keeping it in.
I’m sitting here wondering “what can I do TODAY?” I need some introspection time.
(congrats to me. I’d had written a full page about my mom. I realized the core issue today is with my brother, so I deleted it. My mom’s dead. But my brother’s alive and lives 15 minutes away)
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This is deep! 
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Thank you RV.
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I’m gonna do a loop of CFW and Ascension Chamber tomorrow morning.
Adding AC last week took some scales off my eyes as far as possibilities, so I’m looking forward to it.
I’ll start my washout on Friday.