EVERYTHING FROM LIFE (a Khan + Limit Destroyer + Limitless Executive journal)

Journals - Major Programs
#81

Day 3 - October 17th, 2022

  • This morning while I was on the bus I had various reflections on myself. The inner tone of voice was no longer negative, it was hopeful and motivating, I had a conversation with myself in which I told myself that I can do it and I gave myself some reasons foe the why. From time to time I felt a negative inner response, desperate and weak, but I was very compassionate towards myself and in the end the encouraging tone prevailed.

Changing topic. Reflecting now, that I am in the library, I look back, at my past and at the choices I have made that have led me to who I am now. I have concluded that I am a man who has only made bad choices in his life and because of this he finds himself unhappy and where he does not want to be. The school, then the university, and other small things … But by now some choices have been made, there is no turning back because they are at a point of no return. I can only change directions from where I am now. I can no longer afford to make choices in the future just to please someone or just because I’m afraid of making mistakes and so I choose the easiest or what others put in front of me.

#82

@FoxDie, there’s so much I want to respond to.

  1. Khan St1 is doing what it’s supposed to do. It’s pulling out all the nonsense beliefs that you have picked up about relationships and interacting with women. Stick with it.

  2. Please let go of the need to be seen by women. You cannot be independent and needy at the same time, this is weakness. For the sake of the species, women are attracted to strength (physical, character, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial). Strength in any of these areas demonstrates power and ability to mold the world to your will.

  3. I recently heard the wise Rom Wills say that “Attraction is biology filtered through culture.” You can totally get women just being your nerdy self, ultimately women are just looking for the guy they can be their nerdy selves with. Years ago on a House Hunters International episode there was an animal doctor looking for a house with his wife. She was a very attractive women, he was an average looking man and overall a little nerdy, but she was just as nerdy as him and they were both animal doctors.

  4. Release all those PUA ideas. Embrace the present moment. I think @Luther24 made a post about this recently. And he was spot on. Many men would make quantum leaps in life if they were just present more often. Being present creates presence.

  5. Your last post sounds like you may be getting to the other side of Total Breakdown. :beers: To your greatness.

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#83

thank you so much for your words and your advice, I will treasure them.

#84

@FoxDie those are quite the introspections ya got there lol sounds like you’re kicking ass and growing!!

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#85

Yes. I am noticing many things about myself that I am doing wrong and many negative things are being cleaned up.

#86

Other reflections:

  • today I can’t concentrate on studying, my mind just wants to be distracted. (I did a 3 minute Limitless Executive loop)

I have a bit of a bitterness in my mouth because I saw a girl I liked that I often see at university and I wanted our eyes to meet. On the other hand, what do I expect? Her to come to me on her knees and ask me to suck my d*ck? No, she doesn’t even know me.
This mentality is very incorrect and needy, so far I have thought as someone who gives alms to get to know her. I was thinking that the right mentality must be given by a sincere desire to know her and above all to socialize with her and vibe. But I must also say that today I do not feel all this need in me towards her, my mind seems elsewhere and above all I feel this strange propulsion of having to act, to do what? I don’t know, as long as I do something and among my preferences is the desire to socialize, and if it were with girls (or that girl in particular) it would be even better. It is the first time in a long time that I have been closed in on myself, that I feel this desire to go out and socialize again.

Then I also reflected on the fact that if I have to know or get close to that girl with such a needy mindset, look and aura, then it’s not worth it. That’s not the way I want to know her, that’s not the impression I want to leave her of me. I want her to be fascinated and happy to know me, and even better, I want her to want to know me further.

  • a thought has crossed my mind. I’ve always seen human interactions the wrong way. I saw others as a need to have, I wanted to have others to satisfy my need to simply be with someone, because I was desperate and in need. But it is deeper than that. We know people and then we like them and we like going out with them because we find something in common between us and some common interest that we can share or do together. We go out with others to do things that interest us both. But to become aware of these common interests you have to make a commitment to know who you are in front of to understand what you want to do with that person. This is the effective way to date/hang out with someone. It is also true that we are with some people because they make us feel good, we enjoy just socializing with them. But precisely having a connection, if it is reciprocal, is it not itself having something in common?
    So by projecting all this reasoning on girls: if I go out with them only because I find them attractive and I aim to create a relationship or a friendship based only on this, it is likely that that relationship being founded on nothing, it will not be a solid or satisfying relationship. If, on the other hand, after being attracted by her beauty, I discover that we are in tune (for the things we have in common), this is a development that can lead to something. Finally, if from the beginning I see things that unite us and make us feel good together, then this is the best case that could happen.
    In the end it is better to have someone with whom you feel an indescribable connection and with whom you feel in seventh heaven, rather than having a nice little face or little ass to look at and experience only a visual pleasure.
    Moral of the story: it’s better to look for things in common with a girl, with genuine interest, instead of just trying to get into her graces because you like her looks or are desperate for feminine attention.

I say all this because I understand that in the past I have always been a bit superficial person. I gave value and a lot of credit to a girl, I became needy and desperate in my behavior, just because I liked her aesthetics and told myself that I wanted her simply because she was “beautiful”. But, hell! I didn’t even know that girl, how can I give her all that importance just because she is beautiful to look at? Who is she as a person? What does she have to offer me? What do we have in common? Would we be fine together? These are the right questions I should ask myself before meeting a girl or deciding that I want to be in a relationship with her, not just look at her looks.
Basically I’m also saying that all this reasoning also applies to that girl seen at university today. Just because she is beautiful and I like her aesthetically I can’t give her all that mental attention and importance, despair for her as if I knew for sure that I am worse than her and that she would not want me. No! First I have to know her and then I will be able to evaluate her and understand if she is really worth as the interesting girl who seemed to me at first glance. She is now just an attractive girl to me that I have yet to know to understand if she is truly a person who deserves my time.

  • I have also noticed better linguistic fluency lately.
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#87

@FoxDie khan is doing some deep shit on you, am happy for you, keep it up.
You know due to over hyping or hypersexualization of the society men now give much importance to feminine looks rather than her behaviors and femininity.
KHAN will heal you from neediness and oneitis.

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#88

Thank you man!

Yes, I feel that.
To get free of those limitings points of views can be liberating and empowering. Is the best thing that can happen.

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#89

Day 4 - October 18th, 2022

  • Looking at a beautiful girl a while ago, I wondered, why with such a girl does just looking at her make me want her? Would there be the same feeling with a not beautiful girl? (Because I don’t want beauty to be my only criterion of choice). The answer I found is that such a girl makes me feel a natural and immediate physical attraction just by looking at her, and she literally ignites something in me, in my chest, which rises almost up to my throat like a feeling of warmth and hunger. Following this sensation, immediately afterwards I feel the desire to want to know her to be physically with her, shorten distances and be close. Isn’t that the definition of attraction? Two bodies approaching each other due to an invisible force? Sometimes human nature fascinates me, it’s so mysterious.
    After all the above there would be other questions that follow:
  1. What can I look for in her besides her beauty?
  2. What blocks this natural attractive force from fulfilling its duty to physically approach us?
  3. Would she be magnetically attracted to me and would she desire this physical approach? (If, for example, our gazes cross each other?) Or is my “being” not enough and I have to introduce an action of “doing” something that creates this attraction?

Lately my life is made up of questions. Maybe that’s good. The questions give the impulse to want to know and solve the question that is asked. It’s also my way of getting to know myself, because I’ve never taken the time to do it in the past.
I try to answer the questions above:

  1. First thing that catches my eye is that she is at university to study, this shows me that she is a girl who wants to do or who does something in life. (One point earned). And what does it still tell me? For now I can not say, unless I went there to know her (or did Sherlock Holmes haha. But this is not the path I want to take).

  2. For my part: certainly my concern, my doubts and my fears, which if they were not there would lead to an approach and a more natural outcome of the thing (after all, why am I listening to Khan?)
    From her: if there was no attraction or if she did not want to make the commitment to get closer to get to know me because she is listless, shy, etc …

  3. I can’t tell until I get close and try to understand what signals she is showing me or if I notice a constant glance of her.
    In case my “being” alone is not enough (as I visually appear to her eyes, the aura / energy that emanate and that I make her perceive) what “action” should I introduce into the equation to make her feel attraction towards me? In addition to acting physically to approach and get to know her, I have no other answer. As for the “how” it is another matter entirely.
    I don’t want to take too long to answer this question. For now I would just like to be as congruent as possible with my being so that my action is automatic and natural (when I decide to perform it) and leads to the best possible result, given by my being as aligned as possible with who I really am.
    There will be time in Khan’s next stages to find a solution to this question. At the moment I am trying more to understand and discover myself and what limits me.

Release the chains and you will have a free man.

#91
  • I am angry with myself for not doing enough. It is true that I have understood a lot about myself lately but when I never act then I am just avoiding the problem. Fear.
    Whenever I see that girl in college and I don’t get the desired result and I don’t talk to her, some kind of reaction happens in me. In the end, just looking at her from a distance is of no use to me, I want to meet her, interact with her.
    In the end it is no longer a question of wanting a woman but it has also become a matter of pride. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. I hate this feeling of anxiety or other negative emotions that limit me. I want to feel free from these chains.
#92

So this that part of Total Breakdown where anything that is preventing you from being Khan keeps showing up until you do something about.

With regards to the girl, you were very introspective and able to get into the physical sensations associated with seeing her. All of that was to inspire action. If you take no action, you will suffer.

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#93

Yes, I feel it. It frustrating…

#94
  • This experience today with that girl at university leads me to reflect and try to understand what I feel when I try to talk to someone (or to a girl). Essentially if I think for example of my brother’s group, which I saw today, I was afraid of not being accepted or welcome among them if I went to socialize. With strangers I am afraid to see their look of disgust towards me and as a consequence the rejection on their part. It scares me a lot, which is why I often avoid talking to others. I attach great importance to the impression I might show and this makes me self-aware and makes me uncomfortable when I converse with others. Sometimes it seems to me that I act as if others have expectations and I have to prove something to them. It is so limiting.
    With the girl from the university, on the other hand, I’m afraid to show my true intentions towards her. She scares me to death. If she finds that I like her what I imagine she will almost certainly reject me. Like that girl I had a crush on. In the past, showing my interest has not led to good results, which is why it scares me now. I’m afraid to talk to that girl at university because talking to her in itself (being a cold approach) would show my interest in her and she would think “what does this guy want from me? Leave me alone.” I am afraid of being rejected not being accepted.
    When I see girls like her I find it hard to believe that she would care about me, because I don’t seem to have much to offer. I have a lot of doubts about myself, I’m not sure what I could give to a woman. Sometimes my presence alone doesn’t seem enough to me, I feel I have to compensate by doing something more. Typically this is the behavior of someone who has had a critical and pretentious parent. Well yes, that’s my case.
#95

When I was on Total Breakdown I almost desire all the beautiful women I came across, but during those times I don’t see down waiting, I approach them directly to save my self from wasting mental energy on wanting to meet them or not.

I felt extremely sexual and grounded on Total Breakdown, but now it seems to become part of me that I don’t feel uncomfortable anymore

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#96

Lucky you. It seems that I still have to do some inner work to be able to consider myself at that level. Everyone starts from a different point.
Good results anyway, my compliments.

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#97

Day 5 - October 19th, 2022

  • After yesterday’s outburst I felt like a boulder leaving my chest. I felt lighter.

  • I got enough sleep today compared to yesterday. I feel good, even after yesterday’s depressive affair and I feel a healthy sexual desire. When I looked at the girls today at the university entrance I felt an intense desire to want to sexually eat them and I had this intense desire to talk to them. The fears and introversion I felt seem much less than yesterday to give space to more confidence, even my gaze is more confident. I absolutely have to use them in some way even in small steps to get used to talking to girls.

  • Today my desire to socialize is skyrocketing and I especially want to talk to girls, but I can’t create the opportunity. I catch them walking through the faculty or in groups talking still, and I don’t know as a stranger how to sneak into a conversation with them to get to know them.

2 Likes
#98

You’re making progress.

Please consider that we have evolved from apes and therefore women are just furless apes living their life, trying to get it right, and have a little fun. Like all of us they have issues and insecurities. And if an insect walked past them, they would likely shriek, jump back, and wait for you to be the hero who kills it.

Language is powerful and reveals a person’s frame. Give up “sneaking” into conversations with women. Someone sneaking around is trying to extract value not create it.

Know that any woman worthy of your time and attention would be greatly served by spending time with you. Spending time with you creates value in her life. And you’re seeing if she is worthy of that value.

Bring the fun.

Tell her you don’t usually do this, but there was something about her energy that compelled you to find out more about her.

Create a connection or the opportunity for a connection, because she may not be into you, and that’s okay. Better to have approached and burnt out so you can see it’s not the end of the world and easily forgotten about.

4 Likes
#99

Thank you man.

It’s true. consciously I can understand that they have insecurities like everyone, like me, but subconsciously I find myself shaking like a leaf or being tense to be with a girl because I’m afraid of something. the problem is all in the subconscious and I am trying to solve it in this journal.

On this I can not blame you, better to give value than extract value. I will keep this mindset that you advise me.

It sounds very PUA to me such a phrase and if I could I would like to stay away from that material and have my own style when I say something or approach the fair sex.
More than anything else it is not a sentence that I would say, it is not from me. I wouldn’t be congruent if I said it. In my style I would probably start more with a situational question or with a funny (always situational) joke.

Fully agree on this.

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#100

You’re doing great. Keep working through your issues.

I give you credit for considering the advice and checking for congruence with who you are. It was an example to inspire action and certainly more aligned with who I was back when I was dating. If you’re doing it in a way that is congruent with who you are doing it right.

Btw, starting with a situational joke or funny question also sounds PUA-ish.:joy: But that’s because those guys tried everything and promoted their ideas to the mass consciousness.

Now if only the use of subliminal programs like these could rise to mass consciousness, what a world we would live in.

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#101

Thank you! I’ll do it.

Ahah it’s true.

A world with less traumatized people I think. :joy:

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