If one overdo, it can happen, yes. the ideal is to remain in that balance where the results can manifest themselves and the recon is not too aggressive to cover them. Creating a better listening / processing ratio can be a solution (?)
BEGINNING OF THE WASHOUT
Washout Day 1
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I went back to try again that sincere and very deep appreciation for feminine energy and beauty, a warm appreciation that I feel from the bottom of my heart, it transmutes into a sexual energy so gentle and sensual that I imagine myself caressing a girl gently and make it melt and enjoy it. I feel a strong sexual charge.
I donât felt this way since the beginning of this cycle.
This strong desire and appreciation is accompanied by the same desire of yesterday, that of wanting to learn how to seduce women. -
This morning I was reflecting again on that realization I had long ago about women, that is, that I now see them more as people instead of sexualizing them and seeing them as objects to receive sex or positive attention from. Now I see them as people with whom I can have fun spending time, have fun getting to know them and get sucked into their attractive, warm and feminine energy. It is as if, metaphorically speaking, I manage to squeeze a beneficial elixir from their sweet essence that makes me feel warmed up. Whereas before it was like drinking poison that intoxicated me.
I donât know where my old distorted behaviors of sexualizing women in such an extreme way came from. Some suspicions fall on society (which despite being increasingly feminized continues to sexualize women) and my company of friends during adolescence (beauty was pretty much everything to them, as it is mistakenly becoming for many young people today. immaturity perhaps (?)). -
I have also noticed that I have been very pushed in the last days by the search for âpower / social dominanceâ, this has manifested itself for me in wanting to look for a way to learn to make âunassailable argumentsâ. In my research I have discovered ways to be able to argue in the best possible way when talking to someone else. I believe this is my desire to start saying my opinion more. Iâve always been a taciturn and introverted type, but lately I find it almost satisfying to argue and find contradictions in other peopleâs speeches as a way of having my social dominance. All done naturally in the healthiest way possible. Iâm not trying to hurt or annoy others on purpose, but I just have this desire to have my say.
This is possible, I think I have felt this way before especially when I ran Wanted, I felt not enough for beautiful women but at the same time also attract women â my inner state made it hard to create anything serious with these women.
Which sub are you using currently?
In my own case, it came from the subconscious programming I feed my brain all these years ---- Porn,music videos and degenerate songs.
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I definitely did this when I started St2 the first two weeks, I started looking for actors with this social dominance character in them , then a friend borrowed me the Godfather novel which am currently reading.
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This is happening to me in stage 1 right now.
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Same exact thing lol â I can get literally every women but I never really care, can disconnect that connection equally fast.
Itâs not with any particular program in specific, itâs all of the archetypal ones and how they make you behave and change your attitude towards yourself and life which then tends to attract the objectives but for it seems Iâm not as excited for them; canât appreciate them as I would if my entire feelings were involved.
Women are a natural byproduct of Wanted but you simply donât care, and thatâs what attracts them in the first place⌠but for me it mitigates a lot of the appreciation, enjoyment, and personal attraction towards them.
Youâd be surprised how much the subs affect you, constantly, and in so many ways that feel natural and ânormalâ to you,
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Washout day 2 - October 11, 2022
I want to write some thoughts, but first I want to make a little preamble:
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Sometimes you are afraid of letting go of things, like old mindsets or people who you valued too much for no reason and they didnât give you anything in return, but you have to know how to let go and detox from it all.
Khan is making me step by step letting go and giving up all that is negative for me. Negative old relationships, negative places, negative environments and negative mentalities. If I want to be a new man I have to leave behind everything that I donât need and that limits me from becoming âgreatâ, alot of people (and girls) are an example of this. I let go of many people, things and mentality, in order to start from immaculate again. -
What I mean now is this. I had a little bit of recon because of a girl I had to deal with but for the umpteenth time I got a teaching from it. [Continue in the next postâŚ]
Washout day 3 - October 12, 2022
- Essentially the understanding I got now after that girl affair is that there are many girls who are not for me, although they are beautiful (as that girl) and aesthetically I like them, because they are too lacking in personality they are low value girls or there is friction between my values ââand hers, things canât work between us. Some girls just think about having fun and being a bitches without aspiring to anything in life and use (or make advantage of) their beauty as another excuse to do nothing or worse, to believe they can do everything. Are these the girls you want to be with? Beautiful but empty inside? Think carefullyâŚ
After all, I think that girl is one of these empty people, who seeks attention only to fill her inner emptiness, because without it she would only have uncertainties. And this behavior of her shows me a damaged psyche due to certain traumatic events of the past (and I know exactly what it is). I donât want someone like her, who sucks my energy, I want someone who enriches my life and âgives me energyâ.
Again I go back to saying that this teaches me that I cannot value (and give too much credit) to a girl just for her appearance and that I have to know her (and well) to understand if she is have worth (woman of value).
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Yeah on point. The society has centered on this mindset that a womanâs value is only based on her appearance and beauty but the dark truth is that most beautiful woman are traumatic and empty inside nothing worth to offer apart from their body parts or their cave.
The main stream media, social media has trained the society this way.
Men even try to discourage you when you date a girl not up to their aesthetic expectations.
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I fully agree with what you say. In fact it is necessary to get out of the matrix, because we are individuals who are walking the road to become a Khan ⌠âtheâ Khan.
Society must have no power over us. Khan is the creator but also the destroyer of empires. It is called power. Who has internal power, can reject the (negative) power that comes from the outside.
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[Continuation of - Washout day 3]
- Another thing that I think I understand is that I am missing a piece, a step to be able to enter into intimacy with a girl, this is knowing how to express my sexual interest effortlessly and naturally (directly or indirectly). I realized that so far I have not been able to compensate for that little piece that polarizes a woman and makes her understand that I want more from her.
There are two types of relationships with a girl: platonic or sexual / romantic.
I recognize more clearly now that I have a hard time getting into romantic-sexual relationship because my behavior with girls doesnât show any sexual tension, thus entering into a platonic, non-sexual relationship and into a friendzone or into "this guy canât make me feel anything ".
I believe that this lack of ability to show my sexual interest in a girl I like is due to fear but probably also from past sexual trauma. I just have to get used to it, build my courage and start to feel comfortable expressing my desire for the women I like (again, directly or indirectly). Without this step, no matter how many women I going to meet, I might end up not doing anything with any of them because I donât make explicit what I feel inside.
Now, separate discussion. I donât know where exactly these sexual traumas come from (or maybe I have some half ideas), but Iâll think about it and find out what pulls me back. Most importantly, I have to start showing my sexual interest, and also a âwould you like to go out with me?â (at the right time) could be a start, as I never do.
No action no results. No pain no gain.
This a disempowering context for dealing with women.
@FoxDie, has a more empowering context by realizing that although the girl was beautiful she was ultimately incompatible with him and where he is going in life.
Men look for beauty as an indicator of youth, fertility, and overall health (For survival of the next generation). Itâs no wonder the hip to waist ratio most attractive to men, is also the healthiest ratio for successful births. As men, we want the most attractive women we can get that is also compatible with us (if we are wise). The wisest thing a man can do while dating a woman is gauge whether she is really compatible with his life, and protect his seed until heâs 100% sure.
For women, male attractiveness is multi-faceted and based more on attitude. A woman wants to know that the man she is with can handle her, because she instinctually knows how crazy she can be and how crazy the world is. Men often lie to them, so they have their own test to determine if you are the kind of guy she can be with.
The right woman will enhance your empire, the wrong one will destroy it. Choose wisely from an empowered perspective.
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Thanks you @Seneca. That my perspective over there is coming from a Redpilled lens, the truth is that men firstly look out for physical beauty in a woman, this in an inevitable primitive instinct.
The Red Pill was created to empower men to deal with Women in the sexual / relationship arena.
For many discovering the Red Pill is like a kid finding out Santa isnât real. It crushes the reality you had built up and replaces it with another less magical one.
If you do the work to become a top 10% guy you will discover that 80-90% of women arenât compatible with your life and where youâre going. You can be upset by this reality or you can embrace it.
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Washout day 4 - October 13, 2022
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I was reminded of a negative person from the past and the story that happened with her. It wasnât a good experience. The fact that I still think about it means that there is still some remnant of her in me.
The previous thought was followed by self-doubts with women. -
A pretty girl looked at me but I sabotaged myself and told myself that maybe it was my imagination.
I see that I sometimes have a hard time accepting that I can be attractive to girls. I always find an excuse to tell myself that this is not possible, even when it may be obvious that someone likes me. Maybe because Iâm afraid and therefore I sabotage myself.
This constant doubt I have about being attractive, I had already concluded that it was because in the past few years I have only gotten negative feedback with women. But to be honest, Iâve also often chased the wrong girls. -
I notice that there is still some bad weeds in me, this must be burned and completely eradicated. This weed is the negative people in my life or the people who just thinking about create pain or negative emotions in me. I occasionally see myself thinking about them, talking about them. I still go to the places they go to (I donât have much control over where they go, but I have control over where I go, but I donât really like having to change where I go because of them. But maybe it has to be done).
Moral of the story? I have to meet new people, visit and frequent new places that bring me more joy and positivity, because I can now clearly see that those people are the weed that Total Breakdown tries to eliminate, I can feel the poison they bring into my life (also only in my thoughts). I canât give them my attention. Right now I am on a path of elevation and I feel as if I want to shed my skin like a snake, as if I want to abandon my old vessel, made by these harmful people, my limiting beliefs and my traumas, all to be able to undertake the new way that awaits me.
I can see what TB is doing, the way he is cleaning me, piece by piece. I have always been a damp and dirty cloth with noxious material and now I feel the inner cleansing that is being done.
START OF CYCLE #3
Day 1
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I have noticed that I feel this need to want the girls look at me. I need to be wanted by them and every time I force eye contact with many of them.
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Yesterday I was also thinking that I wish I could just be myself, my nerdy version and be able to attract girls just for who I am. I donât want to act, I donât want to show that Iâm someone else just because someone or a book of seduction says itâs attractive that way. I just want to be myself and still be accepted by the girls I like. Whatâs the point of lying to others? So it just feels like Iâm lying to myself and itâs challenging and tiring to play someone elseâs part.
If I know a girl, I would like her to know the most real part of me, I donât want to show myself in disguise, I want her to accept me for who I am.
But in short, do you have to be assholes with girls to attract them? Arenât there normal girls who, if treated well, reward you for it? I think so, but society is too sick and has poorly programmed some women and now they too are sick and discard the real and genuine guys. I have to stay away from these girls. I want the sincere and sane ones.
I was just watching a video on a similar subject where a guy commented on a video of a girl who said this: "Todayâs guys want you to be with them 24H to cuddle you, you have to tell all your secrets and you canât see others. But they donât want to get engaged to you, because it would be too demanding. " The girl was obviously beautiful and I believe that for the most part they are the ones who fall into these toxic relationships. Why? Because Iâve always believed that âwhoever has power, uses itâ, I think very beautiful or beautiful girls are characterized by these two things:
- They are more likely to become superficial. Because a life made of free favors thanks to their beauty could lead them to believe that they can achieve everything only with their look and therefore avoid improving other characteristics as character and inner value, eccâŚ
- They have a lot of sexual power and consequently the faculty of being able to choose among a larger number of men of value (what they sometimes believe to be value is not).
As I said before, those who have power use it and therefore their choice is more likely to fall on more aesthetically attractive men but this does not mean that thosw men are better. And so they fall into situations like the one described by that guy in the video because they like the guy but heâs not a nice person or the right one for them.
The guy in the video then goes on to show a response from a follower of him who tells him that she is dating a ânice guyâ (or good guy) , who she likes but has her doubts about him. And then he asks, "Do you have to live on an emotional roller coaster caused by a guy who is likely toxic and narcissistic to feel happy? Guys like that usually create such a strong memory in your minds that you remember for a long time or even for a lifetime. On the other hand, the most normal guy does not have this effect on you and you say that âyou have uncertainties about himâ ".
This thing it makes you think.
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[Continuation of - Day 1]
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I was reflecting on what I wrote before about the feminine looks. I think essentially my need is to want to be desired by the girls I like (especially the hot ones). I want them to want me, to look at me and to give me attention.
I was ignored a lot by women in the past and this created such a need in me to want to be chased by women, because they hardly ever did. When I see a girl I like and she doesnât look at me I scream inside of me âwhy donât you look at me? Why donât you give me attention? Iâm here! Look at me!â It is very desperate as a thought and in fact it makes me feel sad and desperate. -
during the afternoon I had some slight recon, with symptoms of mild depression, desperation to have girls and sadness.
I was reflecting on a thought. I was different before. I was able to enjoy interactions with girls more, approaching them and was more proactive. Now I have become passive, I donât even try anymore, as if I had lost hope. I donât know what happens to me. Where did that guy who got intrigued talking to women and really enjoyed it? Have months and years of feedback, negative reactions, sadness and depression stacked up to this point?
What happened to me?
I can summarize these cycles on K st1 as months of self-discovery and rediscovery. This stage is a real inner journey. Itâs teaching me a lot.
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Day 2 - October 16th, 2022
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in the past few days I have realized that I am too judgmental towards others and gossip about them, so I am trying to stop this behavior because it is poisonous and negative.
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A little bit of recon and neediness that come out.
I still have old thoughts about people from the past about things that probably werenât digested. I think the sub is processing them.
- I still occasionally think in terms of a redpill mentality and SMV value, but I would like to get rid of this because it makes me see things in a convoluted way.
- While I was in the shower I started thinking about a girl I had a crush on. I was wondering what could be the reasons why she chose her current boyfriend instead of me? What does he have better than me? I realized that maybe he was more normal than me and made her feel good, while I, with my head full of PUA bullshit and other old negative patterns, behaved towards her in a way that was not genuine and congruent with my personality. I was a fucking crap, pretending to be a braggart and exaggerating the push & pull game. Of course she then got captured more by the other guy. I wasnât real.
Iâve been thinking about her more and more often lately. I want to stop thinking and talking about her and other negative people because they just make me stick my finger in the sore.
I will never get well from them in this way.