I appreciate you more than you know!
I’d teach you anytime brother 
I do that too. I find it’s so easy to be bias because of your friends and families opinions of people. There’s always a missing truth to what someone says about someone which is why I always try and he completely honest regarding people I speak about. Good or bad.
Took a mini wash out after getting to eager and LB once last week and Khan x3 (Khan is my main sub I want to focus on). Definitely had recon as I was hella fatigued and the lack of good wasn’t helping either. Lack of productivity and creativity which isn’t good since it’s needed for my worth.
However I’m back running subs again. Ran Khan and Love Bomb for one loop each last night. I’m either going to run them once a week together or twice a week together/or just Khan. I haven’t decided yet.
Anyhow, I had a lot of self questioning this week so I know that’s coming from Khan. A lot of old and past memories coming up, especially with people who did me wrong. Something I noticed was that it doesn’t trigger me as much anymore.
I have begun to realise my self worth and I truly have a lot to offer. Which is great. Others have started to notice this too because they’ve mentioned it to me.
I’ve also gotten a lot of love from people recently. Possibly a mixture of my status going up and love bomb.
One thing I’ve noticed is that I don’t need men. I don’t need that guy I wanted. I still want him, especially after seeing a picture last night, but I don’t need him. He’s an addition to me and not the other way around. I’m on the pedestal now.
I even deleted Grindr because I don’t need that. I felt so much validation by being on it but you can guess what I’m gonna say about that…
Anyway, yeah I’m planning on sticking with Stage 1 for a minimum of 2 cycles. I feel like it’s necessary.
Great!
I’ve noticed something similar too. I’m just not that interested in women. I can talk, or walk. I feel largely indifferent. I’ve wondered if the ZPv2 format itself might be having that effect.
Okay… I’ll guess: That that kind of validation feels so hollow?
What did you say and why’d you delete your post man?
Back home, I have internet and I’m back on my time. I got back from holiday today so it’ll take me a day or so to get back into the habit of things but I’ve kept an eye on the forum whilst I’ve been away. My internet was wack a doodle however, took about 30 minutes or so to load a webpage and if I did get to reply it wouldn’t go through hence lack of activity on my journal and anywhere else.
Anyway, back to my usage.
I took a mini wash out. 4ish days. I dropped LBFH (for good reasoning on my part) so that I could focus more on Khan. It’s denser but I feel like it’ll be beneficial.
I felt like I wanted to take @RVconsultant ‘s approach on multi titles so I’m running Khan Stage 1 still (I’m in my first week of my second cycle) and also added Stage 2. I’ll be running Stage 1 for this cycle before dropping it, adding Stage 3 to my second cycle of Stage 2 and so on. When I get to my second cycle of Stage 4 I’ll be repeating the cycle from the beginning.
I’ve had a lot of insecurities and memories (based off my first post) come up on my healing with Khan. I noticed quite a bit of things. I noticed that I find it very difficult to approach people I’m interested in, especially straight guys (fun fact, mainly straight guys have done my kink) and this is for obvious reasonings. I definitely lack confidence, if someone asks me to ask someone something, I find it difficult to approach and socialise in anyway. It takes me some time to do it. I want this gone.
I just mainly noticed I’m a beta person. Or would be considered as such. I definitely want to be an alpha take no shii kind of person. I want to approach easier, get what I want and be done with it. I still want my kindness, love and generosity but I don’t want people messing with me.
I noticed that my voice isn’t heard. It’s overshadowed by those with louder personalities. However I don’t want to be a person who shouts over someone to be heard. I’m not that kind of person. I just want people to listen because I deserve to be listened to and they want to hear what I have to say.
These are just some of the things that have come up, and I’m sure more will whilst I’m in the healing stage. Nevertheless, I’m glad they’re showing me things I need to work on.
I’m only doing one loop of each per week. I ran Stage 1 & Stage 2 together.
I’m also planning on adding Emperor Black so I can get stuff done. I’ve got some ideas for dance and I want the productivity push to do stuff. I was planning on getting some dance stuff for me done with it which is still my goal but I also want to start working on making money.
I’m in probably one of my worst financial states possible at the moment (I’m hoping Khan will change that) and I want EB to help me with some of the ideas I have but lack drive/push towards.
You sure this isn’t due recon?
Here to keep you accountable. Although I shouldn’t fault you for dropping a sub, as I still think it’s better to go single stack anyway.
Why not run EOG that was designed specifically for that? I noticed that a lot people who run status improving subs (like Emperor or Khan) still struggle financially. In my opinion, status is worthless without money. Someone who is already doing decently well financially would benefit more from Khan than someone who has money issues.
My current belief is that anyone who has money issues would benefit more from running EOG first and foremost. Once they’ve been through EOG, it would be easier to work on status and stuff like that. That’s just my opinion, of course.
Nah, as soon as EB was released I knew that I would drop LBFH regardless because it wasn’t my focus anymore like Khan and EB are. I want to change my life which Khan is already working on and EB to be productive.
No, I appreciate it truly!
Oh no man, I completely get it. I honestly just remembered RV’s way of doing Khan and felt it would be a good mix as well as EB but I don’t have the latter yet.
I do appreciate keeping me accountable. I do think ultimately the the last thing in my stack will be rotatable since Khan is my biggest focus.
EoG isn’t something I can currently afford but I do understand exactly where you’re coming from and I do plan on buying/running it soon. However I’ve already had ideas that I’m utilising and being somewhat productive on that will make me money. EB will help with that eventually when I get my hands on it too.
I promise that eventually I will run EoG, just like I’m running Khan.
Isn’t something you can afford? Or isn’t something you choose to invest into at the moment?
Can’t afford means that for the next 4 paycheck you won’t have even a $29 surplus, you have no costs you can reduce at all, no credit whatsoever to leverage, if you got a gun put to your head there’s no way you could pull out the money and you’d take the bullet because there’s no possible way to do it.
Otherwise, you’re just not ready to invest.
Please don’t respond to this by telling me you actually can’t afford it - that’s digging yourself deeper into the beliefs hole we’re all here to support you through.
Just giving you a teaser of what’s to come once you start EoG. You’ll never say “I can’t afford” something and you’ll never feel the feelings you feel when you say that again. You’ll never again have an opportunity that will have an ROI of 30x, 50x, or 500x, but turn it down because you “can’t afford” something.
Your language will switch from can/can’t to worth it/not worth it. And if it’s worth it, you’ll find a way.
There have been several courses since starting EOG that I couldn’t technically afford, but was willing to invest in anyways, and because I saw the opportunity and knew how to take action, I doubled my money on these expensive courses within a week in some cases, a month in another.
Food for thought 
take what is helpful, ignore the rest
So, being honest I’ve taken a lot of thought over your reply and I felt a whole bunch of emotions every time I reflected on it, hence why it’s taken some time to get back to you.
Those emotions have to do with me, not you because the truth is I was pissed - at myself for letting myself get into the mess I’m in but I’m also sorting it out myself so yeah.
Ultimately, it’ll be invest. Regardless of what I spin it, it’ll be invest.
I could spend some of the rent money to buy EoG (and that’s a risk for me), I could do the same on the food money that I actually don’t have to get it too. I’m barely eating as it is.
I could do many things to get it.
I was even going to, during this post, say I most definitely disagree with the way this comes across (even though I know your heart is in the right place and you’re trying to help) and in the end even changed from afford/invest to invest because it’s the truth, I’m choosing not to invest in it. For several reasons.
So to answer your question, even though I have, it’s invest.
But regardless, even if I did invest, I don’t have space for it in my stack.
I’m running two Khan Stages, I could drop one and I want to run EB because I know my lack of productivity level. I’d love to run EoG, but I also don’t necessarily want to add more dense to my subs.
So, what would you suggest I do? Invest and drop Khan Stage 1 and just continue to run it Khan Stage 2 and then repeat afterwards?
I’m all ears.
Edit, I mean run Stage 2 Khan and EB (when I get it)
Khan Stage 2 seems to be kicking in. I don’t know what it is but there seems to be a difference, a f it kind of difference where I’m not caring about certain things or people and going for it.
ZP V2 Stage 2 is so smooth too. When I used Khan before Stage 2 was struggle bus city, and recon hell. Now it just feels great to use. I’m grateful af.
I just made a connection between your title and a book called Iron John?
Have you ever read the book?
It’s a book about male initiation and ritualized ascent into manhood, told through mythology… actually it’s the retelling of a 1000+ year old story retold through the ages.
Anyways, one of the most potent pieces of symbolism is when the boy (later King) wounds himself.
He only wounded himself going for something great, symbology for us wounding ourselves the first time we really expose ourselves to the world fully and with an open heart… but without the wisdom of past pain to know to protect ourselves simultaneously.
And his wound radiated light. Gold. Pure golden rays shined right out of his wound.
If there was no wound, where would the light enter into our souls from? And how would we show that light? It needs a way in and out, and our wounds are that channel.
In ancient times everywhere, men and women alike have used their wounds to showcase the breadth and depth of their experiences, the good, and the bad. Some wounds are from mistakes made and learned from. Some wounds are from victories had. But wounds are where the light shines through.
Check out Iron John by Robert Bly for more
I said I was watching Elite the new season and it reminded me of a time that you use to watch it aha I don’t know why.
Ohhhhh, I just caught up with the 6th season. Love Elite.
I had never heard of it until I saw your post about it. I’ll look into it. It sounds super interesting.
I only created my title based on how I felt and how my life should be so this is super interesting to hear.
Also. I have EoG now, I don’t have Emperor Black yet.
I haven’t kept up with my journalling as of late but I have still been on my journey.
I finished cycle 2 of Khan Stage 1 so for now I’m dropping it for a while whilst I begin cycle 2 of Khan Stage 2 and EoG Stage 1. I’m dropping the former in favour of only running two stages rather than 3 in total. I’l come back to the healing eventually, it’s a necessity.
Anyway, I’ve noticed more confidence in myself and more self belief. During my healing stage I was getting things coming up such as anxiety, especially during dance performances, and Stage 2 is allowing me to fight back on that.
Rather than do what most do and just accept it, not necessarily embrace but accept because they don’t know better/feel helpless already, I’ve started affirming the opposite of whatever that anxiety or problem is telling me and I’m pushing towards my solutions without taking no for an answer. I’m not letting things stop me anymore.
Ultimately this is just a mental diet. It’s not ‘being positive’ all the time as that to me tends to mean a suppression of emotion however what I’m doing seems to be persistent in against what is shown or told to me using the mental strength I seem to be gaining from Khan.
I’m also able to say no easier. Something I always struggled with prior. Something I don’t want to do? No. I’m not doing it. Not anymore. Not people pleasing.
I’ve also been able to post on social media with Khan more now. I’m letting go of what people think about me. I can’t say the thoughts are completely gone because they aren’t but I’m posting regardless. The world can see me shine whilst the haters and those who think they know more about my life than I do can watch me soar.
It’s been magical so far and so much easier to run. Especially in comparison to Khan when I ran it in 2020 (I believe?). Recon city that. Especially Stage 2. I’ve barely had any recon if any, at least it isn’t noticeable.
I’ve also started to reinvent myself. I’m changing my style up, something that normally happens when I have a new sub such as Stark, Emperor or WANTED. I’m letting my hair grow out longer and seeing what I can do with it to enhance my looks. I’ve always let my hair be quiet short, for me, and unstyled because I didn’t ‘fit’ in but who cares about that now?
I’ve also started getting tattoos. I got a tattoo today (they were a gift on a voucher) and I’m starting to grow into a new style, the real style of what I want to wear regardless of what people think. I’m happy with it.
Just these little things are noticeable so far. There’s definitely more but either haven’t noticed or can’t remember however…continuing my journey on Khan. I think I’m going to stay on Stage 2 for another cycle after this one. I’m on cycle 3 of my Khan journey so far so I’m happy.
EoG I can’t speak much about but I know it’s working on my beliefs, along with my mental diet. Like I said, I’ll probably be sticking to Stage 1 for a while, I’ve got some things to work on with it. However I know it’s going to be just as transformational as Khan will be and currently is.
Following the Bible of Friday and Simon and decided to move onto to Khan Stage 4 last night whilst intending on running EoG for a while still. I intend on sticking with these two (especially K4) for a long time. I’m actually planning to interchange K4 and K1 several times but hold onto it for a year or longer. Same will go for EoG but I’ll be holding onto Stage 1 for a longer period of time.
Also as a note, I’ve done Stage 1, 2 and 3 of Khan before. I did Stage 4 for about 2 weeks in Q days before moving on. Stage 4 will be staying in my stack idc. Non-negotiable.
Had quite a few little changes happen which I’ll speak upon soon. Definitely down to using Khan
Also slightly updating my manifestation custom.
Will be changing it to RoM instead of Minds Eye along with AsC.
Need to work on the modules I need to change around but here’s the list from before:
CORES:
AsC
Minds Eye
MODULES:
Remembrance
Ebon Maneuver
Jupiter
Yggdrasil
Untouchable
Mountain Breaker
Current Invoker
Divine Will
Tyrant
Divine Self Image
Dominion
Mosaic
Inner Voice
Negativity Displacer
Natural Winner
Omnidimensional
Faith Unyielding
Unlimiter
Most of these will be staying but RoM, an energy module, Void of Creation and possibly something else will be added so I need to find some things to remove.
Mastering manifestation is my goal, and certain modules such as Rememberance, Ebon Maneuver, Untouchable and Mountain Breaker are non-negotiable for removing since some of these are protection for my old story I posted at the beginning of this thread.
Suggestions for removal of other modules would be helpful if people want to participate.
I would encourage you to run RoM as separate for now. I think it’s still being worked on.
