Cycle 1
03:00 | Emperor
03:00 | Index Gate: UPX
▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░ 52%
Regular day, some meditation, some 10k steps, some goals, and now time for some computer science studies.
I received an onboarding mail I am going to go through for the new job as well.
Been getting 80+ points on my sleep (FitBit). What’s your guys points? It seems relatively easy for me to get 85 points I think (knock on wood). But is it even feasable to consistently get 95+ on a regular basis without turning into a panda?
Cycle 1
03:00 | Emperor
03:00 | Index Gate: UPX
▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░ 62%
Going well so far. Recon, action, journaling.
My CS studies are going well, but the nervousness surrounding the new job is rising and I am second guessing myself. This is something I am trying to explore.
Another thing I’m exploring is my relationship to gaming. Is it addiction or a way to cope or do I truly enjoy it? Trying to learn more about it, because I have been gaming around an hour a day the past week, and feel a strong pull. This all started once I got the offer, and I am thinking there is something there to explore, a relation between gaming, stress and anxiety. Perhaps it’s just a little reward for my hard work.
Emperor has helped me bring out past issues that formed deep beliefs in me (good or bad) and helps me reframe them. I’ve realized more and more on how strong and resilient I am actually, compared to the people that caused me the “trauma”. I don’t know if superiority is a healthy outcome, but it’s better than inferiority. My goal is to transcend the duality or find/operate from a higher paradigm.
When you fall into recon…
Wiggle your big toe
Get a Hattori Hanzo sword (the best)
PRO-TIP: You already got it, it’s your mind and it’s sharp awareness.
Face the demons and slay them, realising all along they were just phantoms.
(Demons/Phantoms = blockages, limiting beliefs, resistance; internal.).
Many people report being angry or grumpy in Emperor, I think it’s just suppressed anger. I chose Emperor for many things, but one major thing is power, personal power, self-esteem and responsibility.
And naturally someone who seeks that have life experience of lack of personal power. Perhaps from trauma or whatever. There’s a lack.
Self-hate from giving away one’s power or it being taken from oneself. Being nice guy, prioritising oneself last, in hopes to avoid conflict and please others. Being walked over. If you don’t value urself, very few other people will do. And all this leads to suppressed anger. Because being walked over, abused and weak naturally leads to anger.
Disrespect from yourself and others. And to be honest, it’s your responsibility, and alot of that anger is self-directed. “How could I let it happen!?”
Now you gotta befriend that anger. Use that power and momentum to make a change. But most importantly forgive yourself and step the f up. Grow better, not bitter.
Anger is good, but not a thing to make a state out of. Just something to use temporarily, to maintain boundaries and move forward.
Anyway, just some self-reflection. Emperor is starting to hit hard. Just as it’s supposed to.
In one month I start my CS studies, also nervous as all get out, but let’s do it bro, the future isn’t gonna wait for us lol.
What are you studying with? In school, bootcamp, self study?
So I’m kinda of re-doing my CS degree on my own. This time I’m more mature and know that it’s worth it to master the foundations.
I’m currently doing a C# certificate and reading about .NET core latest changes. What are you studying?
You got this man! The big hurdle in coding is just sticking to it for a few months. We got this!
And my only advice is, give it your all. It will pay off LT. Specially if you want a career that isn’t fragile to the economy or the saturation of coders. I’m paying my debt now.
Going back for a full on BS thanks to a deal I got from work. If I bust my ass, I can do it in 2 years. Gonna try and get some certs along the way and land an internship this spring at a lab.
That’s as far as I can see atm.
I’m green as hell tho. 
That’s awesome! Good job deal. You got this!
You be busy with your studies then. 
Modern day wizard 
Cycle 1
03:00 | Emperor
03:00 | Index Gate: UPX
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░ 71%
Journaling, family stuff, meditation, errands and working on my consultant CV. 
I really thought I would not have to worry about this stuff as a consultant, thought that the sales people would take care of the CV stuff. But, apparently not. I kinda think deep down it’s good (even if it’s annoying).
I will gain so much experience from this, also, there are CV people in the company continously giving feedback. I will be a sharp applicant in the future, even sharper. Which brings me closer to the goal of having finding a new job a breeze if the worst happens.
Another thing is that I booked a professional career photoshoot. About to look like a boss!
Oh and Emperor and the new NSE is kicking my butt, btw.
Oh boy, I’m furious 
the anger rises.
Journaling helps, but I want this pain to lead to identity level change. I don’t want it to be all for nothing. I don’t want to hide. I want to face it.
I just want to level up. I have to make sure I’m using this time efficiently and making it worthwhile.
I don’t know what the best way is or if there is even a best way.
I refuse to be a broken record.
Cycle 1
03:00 | Emperor
03:00 | Index Gate: UPX
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░ 81%
OH what a journey so far. Alot of deep introspections and I have some stuff I’d thought I’d share once I am done with this cycle, stuff in my offline journal, that I’ve noticed have evolved or happened.
Going to a concert tomorrow with my buddies, it’s a “orchestra” that plays pop-culture and gaming music soundtracks. It’s perfect for this magnificient journey to have some OST music to pump me up.
Today while meditating I got so pumped up while hearing my heartbeat. I was focusing on the breath but the heartbeat was so visceral, I felt it, I heard it, and it was like a OST in the background. It reminded of that scene in LOTR when all the orcs where marching to Helms Deep, or the drums when the stupid hobbit dropped the bucket in the well in that ancient dwarf fortress.
Cycle 1
Rest day
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░ 86%
It’s good to know the areas I am interested in developing with this journal and how my subliminals align. I am going to add Limitless, if it’s too much I’ll remove it. Limitless stacks well with both Emperor and IG, but the problem is that it might be too much subliminal input, so we’ll have to be aware and use common sense.
That’s alot, and I think the certain things are not really in my current plan and goals, like for example entrepreneurship. But perhaps I will develop interest in that, who knows. I would love to be open minded for those opportunities, to make an impact, what’s more high risk, high rewards than entrepreneurship? Sounds like ballin’.
The first two go hand in hand. As I said, I want to really hone my skills and master my craft. For that I study alot, and will continue while maintaining my new job. My job as a consultant will by itself force me to learn alot, so it’s good. Other way I am going to leverage this is reading and playing puzzle/strategy games if I have the time.
The rest is basic masculine stuff and well-being. As I said in the first post, I need to step up my standards and self-respect.
Anyway, just wanted to write this here to remind myself, and keep on track. Also these areas is a good way for me to effortlessly organize and align my thoughts and goals.
Anyway, meditation going well. Journaling going well. Studying going well.
Emperror is pushing me to… face my underwater caves. 
Yooo, never seen a red head blush that much… given that redheads usually have very pale skin and when they go red in the face, they go red! 
Going to use that lovely energy from that interaction to crush my foes, thank you red head. Your feminine energy will be used for prosperous endeavours.
Whenever I feel like complaining or wearing my victim suit and feeling like a special snowflake I see this gif in my head and laugh lol
I won’t let fifty laugh at me like that! Lock in!
Cycle 1
03:00 | Emperor
03:00 | Index Gate: UPX
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░ 90%
Almost done with this cycle and it’s been interesting to say the least.
Still recon and stuff to solve internally, but I feel like we made huge progress.
I take more action than before, and I think we’re gaining amazing momentum.
The concert/orchestra last night was okay, but it was my first and I am sure I will find even better ones. It’s like my history with ramen. I thought I knew good ramen until I went to Japan and started getting to know japanese people where I live as well, they showed me the way. Don’t get me wrong, I love instant noodles, but to call it ramen is an insult, and to go a place that say they serve ramen and it’s barely touching the real deal, that’s a sin. lol
Orchestras have triggered my curiosity and I look forward to hearing the real masters. The ones that got there through sweat, blood and tears.
Started to listen to more majestic and epic soundtrack music, because I feel like I am in my own movie building my story and movie, and it’s going to be epic. All powered by Emperor.
Cycle 1 - Day 20
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░ 95%
Rest day
Almost done, final listening day tomorrow.
I have received my new gear from the new job as well this week. I am going to set it all up before the onboarding next week when I got the time.
I’ve been getting more and more aware of how to prioritize stuff better. I feel less stress this way. I have a feeling this process of prioritizing will get better the more I run Emperor. Right now I have to sit and analyze alot, but with time, things will just be clearer and the decisiveness will be bolder.
Is this important? Is this urgent?
if (!isImportant || !isUrgent) => It can wait.
I look way leaner and sexier in the mirror, regardless of the fat. I just feel like my body has gotten better and my veins are popping more. I just look so strong as well, very masucline and good posture. I love the way my body seem to change and how my self-image is also improving. Can’t wait til I actually start a serious cardio and fitness routine, which will happen somewhere in October.
Anyway, time for some coding studies. Later tonight I am heading to a social activity and dinner with an old circle of friends.
Cycle 1 - Day 21
03:00 | Emperor
03:00 | Index Gate: UPX
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ 100%
And we are done!
Anyway, it’s just the first cycle, but I can’t wait for the next one and the growth it entails.
Emperor is awesome but you gotta be ready to do the work and face your bs. I am learning more about myself everyday, what runs me and overcoming those challenges and blockages. Oh and you gotta take action, else you will feel even worse.
Washout and the next phase starts after that.
Another interesting thing that is growing is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is not weakness, or losing or failing. It’s actually the toughest thing, because you gotta accept your flaws. Every thing that triggers me, I (try hard to) face it completely, and even if someone else is at fault, I use it to ruthlessly investigate what rotten thing in me it brought out and if I somehow am triggered because it reminds me of some darkness inside me. Fearlessness. It’s a work in progress, because facing the bad thing in you is very hard.
That absolutetly summaries my current state on Emperor. Thanks for writing it down.
