- I keep forgetting to mention it, but I have this strong sense that I’m going to come into major money in the very near future. It actually feels inevitable. RICH Elite is pretty damn amazing.
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Your aura is on overdrive. 
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- I mentioned the yearly summer crisis above, but I didn’t really get into how weird the last week or so was.
First, it rained for about four days straight. That’s really abnormal around here. Then four circuit breakers wore out at the same time. They do wear out, but four going on the same night just isn’t normal. Then for a couple of days our smoke detectors went off randomly.
It was just really odd.
We seem to get one episode like this a year, and it always seems to happen while there is a certain astrological influence and during the summer. The year gets easier after it’s over.
I didn’t used to put much stock in astrology, but this pattern is there and it’s too weird not to wonder about.
And right on time, all the problems are solved and life goes back to normal.
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Saw this just now and thought of you
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Very true. That’s even the same model amd color as mine.
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**5/22/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 3 WEEK 3**
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I had a meh weekend. I was going to go to the the coffee meet up for one of the ENM groups I go to. I haven’t taken any kind of action to get myself out there where I might meet another partner in quite some time, and if I don’t get myself into situations where that might happen it doesn’t matter what subs I’m running, it’s a waste of time.
Unfortunately, the wife was talking about our grocery order for this week. She managed to stretch a five or ten minute conversation into several hours. By then, it was so late that there would be no point in going.
I wound up going to get my hair cut instead.
I went with a less conventional style. I’m slowly going away from looking like a standard average guy and more like the edgy bad boy that I was trying to look like when I was younger.
I like the change. I never wanted to look like a bland corporate clone
As I’ve mentioned, this journey largely feels like a return to being me after many years of giving up aspects of myself for professional aspirations that never materialized. -
My wife didn’t like it. She made some comment about a critter dying on my head. I don’t really care that much though. Im doing my thing for me, and she can deal.
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- I think that one thing I need to do, and as soon as possible is to break one of the boundaries that my fear based inhibitions have stuck me with throughout my life. Actually do something that I’ve wanted to for a long time, but never have because it’s not something I’m “supposed to” do.
Perhaps doing the one thing will help me start breaking through the other barriers that have gotten in the way of my living the life that I want to.
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My wife dislikes if my hair is too long. Vocally so. But years ago she started cutting her hair short.
Didn’t tell me beforehand. Just came home with it buzzed basically. Not that I’d expect her to ask “permission” or anything
But on the flip side, she will nag about my hair being too short or if I “need to shave.”
I finally told her “my body. My choice. You grow your hair long again then we’ll fuckin talk.”
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My wife LOVES long hair. I had hair down past my shoulders when we met amd id love to do that again because I look damn good that way.
Unfortunately, that can’t happen until I find another line of work.
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How about playing this song to her to commemorate such occasions?
“One rule for us, for you another…”
Thank you…
And now back to Eighteen Months of the True Khan.
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- I’m a bit conflicted about what to run as a second program for next cycle. On one hand, I got a larger paycheck and the financial situation has abated somewhat for a short time. The next one should be bigger too.
That might give me a cycle to focus on other things and manifestation is quite possible in the bloom period. I may not NEED RICH Elite right now.
I think that I need to find some direction. Some way to go that breaks this stagnation that I feel stuck in. That points to ROM. But I’m still worried about financial problems getting worse.
I am definitely going to do a year long EOG run starting the first of the year.
I got some more clarity on what I want out of that.
I’m not looking to become a billionaire or anything like that. What I want is to be in a financial position where I can live like I want to without it being a constant struggle.
That’s it. Be able to buy stuff, (and I’m not talking about private jets here) that i and my family want, do things that we want to, and not have to worry about the bills getting paid.
With subliminal help, that should be achievable in a year.
In the meantime I need some clarity on what direction to go in order to get out of this rut in several aspects of my life.
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- Annnnnd I’ve only been paying attention to my own journal and completely missed the fact that they just dropped a whole bunch of new titles. Including one that seems to be exactly what I need right now.
So the winner of the next second title in my stack contest is Genesis. I’d been talking about feeling purposeless and like I need to find a new path in life, and here it is. It may end up as the second core for stage four as well.
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- So I have a conundrum. I REALLY want to try Genesis out, but swapping RICH Elite for it during a cycle would break COWolfe’s Rules of Disciplined Sub use.
I know, I know, I’m having a bit of shiny object syndrome. This one sounds like just what I need at the precise moment I needed it though.
I’d only be missing out on two loops of RE before my washout and I’m really looking forward to seeing what this sucker can do.
WTF, I already bought it.
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A true Emperor doesn’t allow himself to get stuck in rigidness. You’re definitely making the right move if it feels like it’s what you need.
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Interesting thing to ponder. He also does not allow himself to be drawn off of a course of action easily or break any of his personal rules, so long as they are well considered, without a very good, well thought out reason.
I went ahead and did it though. We will see if it was a good move.
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I bought Genesis. But I’m holding of running it yet. Once I’m ready, I’d like to jump in with Ultimate Programmer and RoM I think.
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- As I mentioned, I went ahead and did it. I’ll be listening to my first loop as soon as TK3 finishes up.
I’d be concerned that it’s a recon reaction, shiny object syndrome, or just me being flighty, but the sales copy included so much that I’ve realized that I’ve been lacking lately. Truth be told, I’ve been lacking these things for a very long time.
It promises a sense of wonder, adventure, and purpose. All of which are things that have been missing from my life.
I can forgive myself for breaking the rules this time.
The last time I really remember feeling a sense of wonder, I mean really looking forward to the unknown future with excitement, was before I moved to another state to go to the second college I went to. I want that feeling back.
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-
After my loops my mind feels lighter, cleaner, like the air right after a summer thunderstorm. It reminds me of the feeling I got after running my first loop of DE.
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I realized something during the loop. One of the barriers I have to connecting with people is facial expressions.
You know how when you lock eyes with someone, you sort of naturally smile and your eyebrows go up in a greeting?
Yeah, I don’t do that. Not normally anyway.
I habitually have a very neutral expression on my face, and it doesn’t change much.
I developed this habit very early in school. I was picked on a lot (I go into this a lot more in my DR journal) and had parents who weren’t much better than the kids. I figured out early on that I was in an environment where people were trying to hurt me. The last thing you want wjen that’s happening is to show them that they’ve succeeded. The more they see your pain, the more pleasure they get. It’s like bleeding into shark infested waters.
So I eventually learned the stone face technique. Never show pain, embarrassment, awkwardness, or that anything is effecting you.
Unfortunately, that evolved into never show anything. That is making it really hard to connect with people. Especially on first meeting. Amd if I can’t connect with lots of people, specifically women, I’m not going to be able to accomplish the goals that I’ve set for myself amd this program.
I am going to have to be a lot more open and natural if I want what I said I want in the beginning of this journal.
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Same! Never thought about this being a barrier, but you articulated it quite well!
I have supportive parents and family… but there’s too much drama, nosiness, and using information and emotions to manipulate people/situations. So I naturally realized at some point the best way to handle was to not show emotions and give them absolutely nothing to feed off of.
I too became that way by default and only open up around people I feel are safe. But you can’t get from stranger → trust without opening up… 
Thanks for sharing – it gave me a chance to reflect too.
How do you plan to address this habit, though? Feels like it becomes a serial killer smile if you force it, and I think it comes across as charming and more genuine if you’re normally neutral and finally do crack a smile.
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It can be a barrier or a great skill to have depending on what I’m trying to do.
It makes it difficult to connect with people initially because I come off as standoffish or downright hostile before I’ve gotten into a conversation with someone. Add to that that I’m a fairly large guy who dresses in black leather and the like, and I might be intimidating off the women I want to meet.
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