Eighteen Months of the True Khan

[COWolfe]

       **4/17/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 2 WEEK 2**

• That’s yesterday’s date. I forgot to make an entry.

• I feel a bit out of sorts today. A little depressed I guess. The reason for that is just an underlying low grade dissatisfaction with my life as it is. A sense that something has to change, and I need to make it change. The thing is that I don’t really know what. I mean I have several things that I’d like to make different, but I really don’t have a main focus at this point.
  Also, I don’t have any flashes of inspiration on how to make that happen. It seems to me that I’m dead ended in a lot of categories and I feel stuck.
  I think that this is stage three starting to push me, and that I’ll start finding ways forward, but it doesn’t feel really good right now.

• One thing that I haven’t noticed is any signs of attraction from women while on this program.
  Granted I don’t have much exposure, but I’ve noticed a lot more on previous programs.

[praisetheurdtree]

You made it to ST3, cycle 2. You’re so close to the final stage, it’s damn impressive honestly.

Have you thought about taking a washout after this cycle or the next? You’ve been running Khan since August of last year, that’s no small feat, but maybe a little rest would create some bloom and help you sort out some stuff.

[COWolfe]

I wash out every fourth week. I don’t really feel the need for more than that. I am progressing, just not necessary in the exact ways I thought I would.

[saint]

@COWolfe , I appreciate the length of your journey so far, the amount of detail you’ve provided, and your ability to recognize recon and power through regardless. Literally applauded when I saw the post about you wanting to switch to EoG and then the next post calling it out as BS.

I’m running K2 solo right now and some of the stuff you reported during that stage is exactly how I’m feeling. I know there’s a bit of recon, but it also just feels like something is sitting, working, and taking up space in my head. I can’t tell what is going on and I don’t have any results or signs to point to compared to even K1. Your journal has been a fantastic reference.

Thank you for sharing what you’ve shared. Please keep up the good work.

[COWolfe]

      **4/24/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 2 WEEK 3**

• I really haven’t been keeping up with my entries. I’ll have to work to change that.

• I was invited to a motorcycle event on Sunday, a kind of block party put on by a local biker clothing and accessories store, then a fairly long ride to a local bar.
  It was awesome to be doing something I love along with some other people. I met some of his friends and family and we all had a great time.
  I had a little trouble keeping up, but that’s to be expected since I haven’t really ridden to speak of in years.
  I’ve always gone to events solo and usually find myself alone in a crowd so it was very cool to have some people to enjoy it with.
  This is another step toward enjoying life and doing things that I love.

• I entered a drawing for a substantial gift card to the store while I was at the event.
  For the first time in my life I actually won a drawing. I don’t recall how much it was, but I’m at least going to be able to get the kiddo a helmet.
  Yes my six year old can touch the pegs now and is all about riding behind Dad.
  Good weekend.

[COWolfe]

• This week has brought an increasing sense that something is shifting in my head. I’m not sure what yet, but something is definitely happening.
  I guess it’s been going on for a while. There was giving up on my career aspirations of twenty years as a dead end. Then the realization that I wasn’t even sad about it because I just plain don’t want that anymore anyway.
  Then the determination to get my motorcycle back on the road and do what was necessary to get that done. I needed to start doing something that I have loved again, and I did it.
  Then I took an invite to go riding with a bunch of people only one of whom I knew. I wouldn’t necessarily have done that a while ago. But I had a great time, and I’ll be doing that more.
  That felt like a group that I could engage with. Matter of fact, a lot more than I can with a lot of the other groups that I’ve been trying to fit into for most of my life.
  I actually realized that while there was something that drew me to the crowds that I’ve been running with since the first time I went to college, but I really never belonged in them. I had to heavily self censor in order to be at all welcome in them, and truth be told, it didn’t work that well. And since recent years have seen just about everything divided into the political “sides” in my country, it’s gotten even worse.
  Seriously, it’s like there are “left wing” activities and interests, and “right wing” activities and interests, and no one with dissenting opinions is welcome in groups for the other interests.
  I realized that if I even hinted at what I actually thought about certain subjects, a lot of the people I’ve been hanging out around would flat out hate me, and I’d be thrown out of any number of the organized groups I’m a part of.
  These are not my tribes. I’m a square peg there, and I’ve realized that I’m no longer willing to whittle myself down to appear to fit in a round hole.

[COWolfe]

         **5/1/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 2 WEEK 4**
         **WASHOUT WEEK #10**

• I’ve been running Legacy of the Spartan this cycle, and I think I’m noticing a difference in how I look even though I’ve yet to start dragging myself back into the gym on a regular basis.
  Side effects wise, I have seemed to be a lot more tired, and want more sleep than I did before I was running it.

• I’ve been pretty stressed out lately. It’s not so much sub related as it is a bunch of things, mostly things that cost money hitting all at the same time.
  This has been an ongoing source of stress and frustration for a long time. I simply do not pull in enough money to really get on top of all of the things we need to catch up on from the time that the wife didn’t have an income. Extra expenses are a part of life, but they’re a major problem at this point.
  I think I’m going to give up on LOTS for this next cycle, and run RICH ELITE again.
  Eventually I’m going to run EIG for at least a year in order to really get it squared away.
  I think that next year will be the Year of the Golden Khan.
  It does get very tiring having to throw all of my focus on this type of issue over and over again instead of being able to put my attention on the things that I want to.

• Part of the stress also seems to be seasonal for me. I always seem to feel stressed out during the summer.

[COWolfe]

       **5/8/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 3 WEEK 1**

• I feel better than I did on the last entry even though the financial stress has not gone away on paper. The real world problems are worse than they were last week. I just seem to be dealing with it better and having less felt stress.
  Things are very tight, and likely to be for the remainder of this month, or at least until my next paycheck.
  With that said, I put RICH Elite back in as my second program. I need to focus the power of my subconscious on this problem enough that at least I have it under control in the short term. That is until I can really focus on it with my Golden Khan run next year.
  I’ve had some pretty awesome results with money coming out of the blue on RICH in the past, matter of fact it’s been pretty consistent so I see the pattern continuing now.
  Matter of fact it’s been pretty remarkable at helping me manifest myself out of some major trouble spots that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get out of.
  I will go back to LOTS and my physical goals as soon as I can.

• Part of why I’m feeling more comfortable is that I learned that I’m getting a pretty significant raise in October. It’s not enough to put me on easy street, but it is enough to make the street I’m on a lot easier. Just seeing a bit of light at the end of the tunnel is extremely helpful.

[COWolfe]

• Ok, some of the felt stress about money is coming back after my loops. I know what it is though. RICH Elite is causing recon. That’s OK, it means it’s doing something.

[COWolfe]

• I’m definitely less stressed out about money. I don’t have any more of it than I did a few days ago when I started RICH Elite, but I’m the situation doesn’t feel as bad.

[COWolfe]

• I’ve noticed something over the last few years. I seem to have some kind of crisis, usually financial, over the summer. It always seems like it’s going to be an absolute disaster, but it always turns out at least somewhat ok in the end.
  It’s a tad early, but hopefully I’ve got it out of the way this year.
  It’s been raining like an MFer for days, which isn’t normal for around here. When I got home, four of my circuit breakers had tripped and wouldn’t reset.
  I freaked out for a bit because that sounds like something really bad. I called the home warranty company though, and it turns out that all it is is that the breakers themselves got a bit damp and are a bit worn out, so they need to be replaced.

• I really need to get past this financial condition of constant struggle. I’m running RICH Elite expecting to be able to handle the current bad situation, but I think that in the long run deeper work is going to be needed.

[Alphamale]

Hey, I have been reading your journal. Pretty consistent and realistic
What do you think about Khan and WANTED combination?
How do people respond to you on it compared to Khan solo?
And by that I mean people taking you seriously.
At first stage you had true sell in a custom with Khan and on the 2nd stage you replaced true sell with WANTED right?

[COWolfe]

@Alphamale

with Khan and on the 2nd stage you replaced true sell with WANTED right?

That’s correct. I couldn’t tell much about what True Sell was doing because frankly, stage one kicked the shit out of me. There was too much turmoil for me to really see anything.

@Alphamale

What do you think about Khan and WANTED combination?

I noticed some physical shifting, but I haven’t noticed much in the way of attraction hits this whole time. That might be because I spent most of that time working a lot and really don’t get out much.

@Alphamale

How do people respond to you on it compared to Khan solo?
And by that I mean people taking you seriously.

I’m not sure. I have noticed that throughout the run people I work with have been treating me with a lot of respect. They were before, but there seems to be a kind of veneration almost.
I’ve gotten a lot of comments from the federal employees that amount to I’m the only one who does the job right, and they know it’s covered if I’m there.

[COWolfe]

           **5/15/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 3 WEEK 2**

• Ok, I finally am seeing some Khan like results. At least I did yesterday. I almost missed it though, only realizing what happened in the end of the interaction.
  I went to the vet we used to pick up some dog meds yesterday. I had a wonderful ride, and when I got there I saw this very cute woman who I’d estimate was five to ten years younger than me.
  I was wearing my leathers and stuff, and carrying my helmet so it was obvious how I’d gotten there. Plus I looked really good that way.
  She started a conversation by asking what kind of motorcycle I had, and it morphed into her largely talking about psycho exes.
  What it took me a second to notice was that she had steered the conversation in a way that let her figure out if I was single or not.
  She may have seemed a bit disappointed when she found out that I was married.
  I couldn’t think of a way to bring up that I was in an open marriage at the time, and I got the impression that she might not be that type.
  That could have been me talking myself out of it, but it is a result and progress because I did manage the interaction in that direction a bit.
  Also, I realized what was happening and that there was some potential in real time.
  No worries, the manifestation part has kicked in, and there will be more opportunities like this in the near future.

[COWolfe]

• I have been thinking lately about how I feel kind of purposeless lately. I’m kind of just going through life, and since I gave up on my former career aspirations I not only don’t know how I’m going to move things forward, but I’m not sure which way IS forward. I have an increasing sense that I should be doing SOMETHING, but no real idea what.
  There is something that might help me with that. Revelation of Mind.
  Normally I’d consider that to be a bit more esoteric title than I would be running right now. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against spirituality, and do want to improve my spiritual life, but since I got really serious about subliminals I’ve had so many concrete real world problems and goals that had to be dealt with NOW that it’s stayed on the back burner.
  I just read the description of ROM again though, and it sounds like it might be just what I need at the moment. Specifically the part about finding my purpose. It might help me to find a new North Star and get my life moving in a direction again.
  If I’m satisfied with my financial condition for the time being at the end of this cycle, I think I’ll make that my second program for at least the next couple.

[COWolfe]

• on the weird stuff front, not only did half the circuit breakers in the house decide to burn out at the same time, but something even weirder has been going on.
  The smoke alarms have been going off randomly. I have no idea why. This is just odd.

[Trader]

Before RoM, I’d have recommended Mogul to someone, as it has stuff about determing what you “should” be doing. FInding your purpose, so to speak. But now I think RoM is probably indeed better, as Mogul has the “money” slant to it.

I’ve only run RoM a few times, nowhere near the length of a cycle, so no real personal experiences to report with it. I may drop that or Mogul in when I hit EoG2 in my rotations.

[COWolfe]

@Trader

But now I think RoM is probably indeed better, as Mogul has the “money” slant to it.

Yeah, I don’t even know that another career path is what I’m looking for. It could be at least a part of it, but I’m more after something to strive for. To have enthusiasm for. Purpose in my life.

[Bjay]

This is from EOG Stg. 2. Maybe this would help aswell.

„ With ST2, you will not have to fear the dreaded question of “what do I want to do in my life,” as Ecstasy of Life will help you dig deep into yourself and find your truest purpose that will bring you the riches you desire.“

[COWolfe]

I saw that. I’m planning on making 2024 The Year of the Golden Khan, so I’ll get to that in due time.
It would be good to get some sense of direction back while I’m still doing this run though so ROM could be very helpful with that. Who knows, maybe what I find now will have nothing to do with money and EOG will guide me to something different.