- It’s almost the last active listening to stage two, and I still couldn’t tell you for sure what it’s been doing to me.
I’m more matter of factly confident, I think. My body language is better and it’s good without thinking about it.
Part of it may be that I do the same things and see the same people every day. Family and minimal interaction with co workers, so whatever has changed may not have had a chance to shine through.
I’m going to have to change that.
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**2/27/23 STAGE 2 CYCLE 4 WEEK 3**
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Malaise. That’s what I’m feeling. I’d forgotten the word, but it comes back every once in a while. I have a sense of listless boredom where I don’t really know what I want. I know I’m looking for something but don’t have much idea what would get me there.
I want to feel more alive. That would be the starting place. At the moment I’m just going through the same routine life that I’ve been going through for the last few years. There have been some improvements, but its still not very interesting or stimulating. Change that, and I think that everything else will start to improve as well. -
Money continues to be tight, but I now have an opportunity to get my motorcycle back on the road. That should help. That’s something I’ve loved since I was a teenager. Plus if I use it to commute it’ll save money. Of course, my route to work it’s taking my life into my hands.
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- This morning I was really stressed out about our financial situation. I was frustrated about always being in struggle for survival mode and never seeming to get to a comfortable place, or even comfortable enough that I would be able to focus on anything else. Such as the goals of Khan.
I was thinking that the only thing I could do about it would be to get another job that brought in a lot more money. There are a couple of possibilities, but they both could come with some major drawbacks. Like OH SAY, working in corrections again for an agency that is desperately short staffed.
I actually reached out to Saint for some help in designing a custom to get a new job as quickly as I can. I still might do that.
When I got to work though, I remembered seeing something that might be a way to considerably reduce one of my bills that had become absurd.
I looked into it and actually wound up saving about five hundred a month. That’s taking action.
I had another idea that might save us even more.
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- I think I may have been irresponsible in choosing to run Khan. I did that before I had achieved the financial security that my I and my family need. I put what I want above what I need and now I really can’t enjoy the fruits of Khan because I’m either always working, or we don’t have enough money. My obligations come first wether I like it or not.
I’m about sick to death of continually being in struggle for survival mode. Drastic action may be required to break out of that.
I am seriously considering abandoning this run and starting a minimum one year run of EOG.
Ideally I’d combine EOG with Emperor Black to get really focused on the solutions and not allow anything to get in my way until that aspect of life is nailed down to an acceptable level.
Acceptable meaning that: #1 I have bills and necessities covered without having to worry about it. #2 have enough extra that I can do things that I want to do. #3 Have all of that from my base salary so that I don’t have to do a lot of extra work and have time to actually enjoy myself. #4 This is all permanent enough that I can spare the energy to concern myself with other things. #5 I can actually improve the perceived quality of life for myself and my family.
This might take a period of total dedication.
I am hesitant to use Emp Black as a second core because I am a family man, and do not have the option of withdrawing and giving it my total focus like the description says I will.
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**3/6/23. STAGE 2 CYCLE 4 WEEK 4**
**WASHOUT WEEK #8**
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After a talk with my wife a d some thinking, I decided to stick with Khan. Wanting to switch at this point was a fear reaction, and I shouldn’t just give up the progress I’ve made because of it. Things have seemed tight before. We’ve always made it through.
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I took Wanted out. I think that part of why i didn’t consciously feel so much in stage two was either Wanted and Khan were somewhat conflicted, or having the two of them just made it too “busy”. Hopefully I got the message enough to go on to stage three though, because it’s been ordered.
I swapped Seducers Gaze out for Eyes of Zenith, added Cosmic Navigator, and Job Seeker.
Hopefully that eliminates the need for a separate job seeking program.
I chose Cosmic Navigator because I really need to get a couple of wins in the column quickly.
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- Dream: I was at some kind of grocery store or something. I had some kind of small animal with me, and I accidentally got it close to these giant centipedes they had there. One of them apparently wanted to eat it because it chased me around the store. I think I eventually managed to kill it.
More detail later, I have to get ready for work, but I wanted to get it down before it went away. I rarely recall dreaming.
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- I think I really do need a new job for more than just financial reasons. I work in a guard shack all night. Alone. Not much happens here at night, and I don’t tend to have long involved conversations with many of my co workers, there are no women around really, and I have very little to do other than dink around with my phone.
The isolation doesn’t bother me, but it isn’t good for me. Or more accurately, it’s not conducive to my goals on this program. Or any goals really.
This job pays well, and fell into my lap right when I needed it after losing my last LE job. I’m grateful for that. It also provided me with what I needed to get my family through the two years while we were waiting for the wife’s disability to come through. I’m even more grateful for that.
But. It’s allowed me to stagnate professionally and socially.
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- We’ve been going through our banking records and finding things that we can get rid of. So far we’ve managed to eliminate another three hundred or so dollars a month. That brings us up to about eight hundred.
Ok, I’m taking action and I feel a bit better about the whole thing.
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**3/13/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 1 WEEK 1**
- I hope Stage 3 Cycle 1 Week 1 begins tonight anyway. I ordered it last Monday and it’s still processing. It’s still at five business days so hopefully it shows up later today.
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Looks like I won’t be starting stage three tonight. Hopefully tomorrow. No worries, just getting a couple more rest days.
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Oh, wait. I can just start with the store version, no problem there.
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I’m waiting on a second program until they get Legacy of the Spartan up. Then I might just do a Spartan Legacy of Spartan custom. That should do me for that category.
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- Stage three has arrived. I’ll be running it starting tomorrow night. I did one loop of the stock version last night.
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Now that Stage two is over I can definitely say that I still don’t know what it did to me. That is to say that I can’t put my finger on any particular effect that it had on me. I do feel more positive in general.
I know that SOMETHING happened, but I guess I’m going to have to wait on being in an environment where I can take action, and taking it to see what exactly. Looking forward to it. -
At some point I was thinking about how subliminals work and why the people who’ve had major life changing results with them have, and why some people don’t seem to.
I think I had an insight there. I believe that the reason they work so well (this is a gross oversimplification I’m sure) is that since you can’t consciously hear them, your subconscious can’t distinguish them from your own thoughts.
The more you think a thought, the more it changes your inner reality to match it, and your outer reality will change through your actions and or some mystical process to match your inner world.
The key to making that work is repetition over time. The more times you think a thought, or in this case hear a subliminal “thought”, and the longer you keep hearing/thinking it on a regular basis, the more that whatever it is becomes a fact in your head. The more solid that “fact” is in your mind, the closer your life will look to whatever it is.
I grew up thinking that at best I’d never achieve anything beyond mediocrity despite having a high level of native intelligence. That had a lot to do with my parents, but it became my reality well into adulthood. Only later did I find the tools to counter act it, but the process is still ongoing because I have thirty some odd years of repetitions of those negative thoughts built up before I found subliminals that could really make a difference.
I think that that is why long term use of a program or stack is the way to go for shaping your life into what you want it to be.
It seems to me that if I had been on the right stack for say even the last twenty years, I’d be living the life I want to today. -
That lead me to consider an extreme long term plan. I think that my life would be considerably more like I want it if I were executing the goals of four programs. Khan, EOG, Emperor Fitness, and perhaps The Alchemist or QL.
All four stagers. That’s too much to do effectively at one time, so how do I get there?
Well, when I’m done with my Khan run, I keep the Khan 4 core in my next custom for the next year. I’ll run EOG (or Emp fit), all four stages that way like I did for Dragon Emperor.
Then, once I’m done with that run (one year) , I’ll keep one custom with stage four of both programs and run through I’ll keep running one custom with stage 4 of both programs, and start a year with Emp Fit as the other program. Then a year keeping the first custom and Emp Fit core while I do Limitless or Alchemist.
After that it’s an indefinite period of maintenance and steady progress in all categories.
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I got done with my first run of my custom stage three a few hours ago. I felt a little of that surreal “new sub feeling”. I’ve noticed that that is less noticeable on either version of ZP. That may be where some of the “this isn’t doing anything” impression that some people have is coming from. There is just less, call it feedback while you are listening to the program.
I haven’t felt anything extra special in the last couple of days. I’m not sure what I was expecting. This is a deep program. -
One thing I have noticed. Not just now, but since I’ve been running Khan, or maybe it really started on DE is that I naturally make very direct, steady eye contact with whoever I’m talking to now. I never used to do that, and now it’s so natural that I don’t really think about how much of a change it is unless I really stop to consider it. My body language is unconsciously top notch too.
The unconscious part is new since I started Khan. It got better with every alpha/confidence program I ran, but there was always just a little bit of my conscious mind dedicated to adjusting and maintaining it. Now it’s just how I move.
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- I’m getting a bit of recon tonight. Just feel kind of frustrated and out of sorts. I recognize it for what it is, and I know it’ll pass in a short amount of time.
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Tonight will put the first week of stage three into the books. So far, I haven’t noticed much, but once again I haven’t really been in a situation where I necessarily would.
I’ve been thinking about that. My life right now is pretty “locked down”. Meaning that most of my time is spoken for and I HAVE TO be doing something most of the time. I’m either at work, or I’m taking care of a six year old and doing a lot around the house because of my wife’s disability. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for anything that I enjoy doing, or any kind of self development thing.
I am still thinking that it’s time for another job, but I am hesitant for one real reason.
That is that this job gives me one thing that I need that another is likely not to. Solitude.
I’ve needed my alone time since I can remember. I don’t really know why.
On this job, I spend most of my time alone, and while I’m still “on” to some extent, no one is really around to bother me directly most of the time.
I don’t get that at home. At all. Since the wife stopped working and started sleeping all day, I have someone else in the room with me all the time. It’s either her or my son, and there is no way of getting away from it.
Another job would likely involve dealing with people the whole time, and deprive me of that entirely.
That wouldn’t be good. It may be an excuse not to take action, or it may be a genuine concern about a need that I have not getting met. -
I have been looking at other jobs. I haven’t applied for anything yet though. Good reason. I’m looking for the RIGHT job. I’m not entirely sure what that looks like at this point. It has to pay considerably more. That’s a fairly big ask because I’m toward the top end of what people in my line of work make. There are some jobs that pay more, but not that many.
It also has to generally make my life better. That doesn’t mean it has to be ultimately fulfilling, but it does mean that it needs to allow me to have more of a life than I do now, or at least be closer and more convenient. -
The wife got really unpleasant this afternoon. We had our son’s eighth birthday celebration this weekend. A good time was had by all, but the preparations and party exhausted her and set off her MS symptoms.
That translated to her going off on me for not doing a couple of things this weekend because I was dealing with that.
I do not like that this is edging toward routine again.
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**3/20/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 1 WEEK 2**
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I’m feeling pretty good today. No complaints.
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I’ve started looking for another job actively. I have an interview next Friday, but doing some research on the company, I’m not sure it’s a good move. Oh well, it’s only the first, and the right opportunity will come along.
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As far as finding female company goes, I felt the urge to just find a woman and try something while I was doing my loop just now. Don’t know exactly where at this point, but that push has started.
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So has the urge to get my motorcycle back on the road at any cost. The more I think about it, the more sense that makes. I got my first bike at nineteen just after I graduated high school, and lusted after one for years before that.
It is two things to me. First, it’s something I absolutely love doing for itself. Nothing let’s me forget my troubles like a good ride.
Second, it is part of that image of the ideal man who I’ve always wanted to be. It plays into that badass edge that I’ve been trying to cultivate since adolescence. That has to be Khan’s push there.
4 Likes
**3/27/23 STAGE 3 CYCLE 1 WEEK 3**
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Stage three is pushing action, but not quite how I thought it would. What I seem to be doing is more actively adopting a persona that I’ve identified with since I can remember. I’m becoming the “old me” again. Or more to the point, the guy I was trying to be since I was a teenager but haven’t been able to fully embrace.
This is kind of a bad boy/good guy kind of image as well as reality. On the surface, it’s black leather jackets, motorcycles, and a bit of an understated badassness, the quiet kind.
I get my bike running on Friday, and with that get back something that I’ve always loved, but has been missing from my life for several years because of financial issues.
Even if I just get to ride to and from work, it’s worth it. -
I just read the Legacy of the Spartan description. I think that that’s going into my stack next cycle. Either by itself or combined with Spartan in a custom.
I noticed that I had a much easier time getting my ass into the gym when I was running Spartan, and I did notice some physical shifting on Wanted, so I should get good results from that combination. I think that the seduction styles of Khan and Wanted clashed a bit so I may not have seen optimal results on the previous stage. This shouldn’t cause that problem.
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- Here’s the monstrosity I came up with to get my body headed in the right direction.
- Spartan Core
- Legacy of the Spartan Core
- Berserker
- Blink
- Deep Sleep
- Equilibrium
- Fusion Optimized
- Harmonic Singularity
- Hercules
- Inexhaustible
- Male Enhancement (because why not?)
- Masters Coordination
- Serum X
- SPS Cardio
- SPS Endocrine
- The Aligner
- Thunder
- Mosaic
I may Pare that down a bit if for no other reason than I don’t own most of those modules and this is going to cost me.
I did notice that on the factory version of Spartan I got my ass into the gym without fail, and not so much without it.
3 Likes
- Introspective today. I was thinking about something a lot today. I no longer feel any passion for the field of work that I have tried so long and hard to get into.
And that brought up something that I figured out on DR. I have no passion at all. By passion, I mean driving force, wanting to do it have something with any real emotion.
My wife asked how I knew that and I thought about it. The answer is hard to explain, but I’ll do my best.
I feel the empty space where it’s supposed to be, but it isn’t there. There is nothing.
I think Stage three is supposed to activate that, and it’s having a hard time.
1 Like