- Today was irritating. It was just one of those days where everything becomes five times more complex than it needs to be and takes three times longer.
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- I’m tempted here. Tempted to try not worrying about money for a while and running the new experimental Wanted as my second program for a cycle or two instead of RICH Elite.
That would be a very irresponsible thing to do. My employer is now fully staffed and has cut my overtime completely starting next week. That is not good, we have enough trouble paying bills and necessities when I am getting a lot of it. I’ve had great success getting through periods like that with the help of the standard RICH.
On the other hand, running a seduction sub like Wanted is likely to kick me out of this disinterest in other sexual partners if anything will.
I don’t want to break the rule that I set for myself of not running more than one program other than TK at a time.
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**10/24/22 STAGE 1 CYCLE 4 WEEK 1**
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Ok, last cycle for stage one. I’m not going to do the two additional cycles because I think that healing subs will continue digging at things until you are 100% healed. That would be great except that a human in the real world can never be 100% healed. It isn’t possible.
What I’m looking for is good enough to move forward, and I think I’m there. I’m looking forward to total reprogramming. -
I haven’t worked out in a few weeks because since my wife got her eye surgery she can’t drive. That means if anything needs to be done, I have to do it in the morning or before working a twelve hour shift. It cuts me down to often under four hours of sleep. That isn’t enough.
Things should stabilize enough here soon that I can get back to it with a vengeance soon.
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Good enough is good enough, right?
You can always finish Khan and then come back to stage one later, right?
If and when you come back to it, you’ll be healing from a whole new framework as a whole new man with a whole new set of experiences.
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I have done several cycles of Khan during the last two years, and IMO it’s great coming back to Total Breakdown at times. Sometimes I just do a couple of loops just to refresh and boost the other stages. Crazy to think about these healing titles when the new experimental ZP get’s released on all titles 
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I’ve been thinking about future plans again. At some point during this run I’m going to try to move my career forward. I’m sick of the stagnation.
I’ve been in a dead end job that pays fairly well since I lost my last LE job five years ago. It’s a very high level security job and I am extremely grateful that I was able to find it pretty much immediately when I needed it. Hell, it pays better than the LE job I lost so I actually came out ahead as far as that goes.
I more or less sit alone in a shack doing nothing all night every night though.
That has its good points. It gave me the time to think and get really involved in improving myself and working on the problems that have been holding me back in life. It gave me the opportunity to research and look for solutions and to eventually land here at Subclub after getting very serious about my sub usage with that other company and start taking my sub usage seriously, carefully considering what I’m using and why, and monitoring and journaling my results.
I knew that subs worked before and that some of them were next level.
I am thankful for all of that.
But very soon it will be time to move on. I’m not getting younger. There is no possibility of advancement in the company I work for now. I’d have to have some qualifications that I don’t, or I’d have to be willing to move out of state. I’m not going to uproot my family for a security job.
That leaves me looking for a way forward.
I know how to force the issue, at least I know what has worked for me in the past. I’ve been hired for a street level LE job twice, but I ran into some serious subconscious self sabotage and failed the field training phase both times.
As to how I forced the issue. I had been trying and trying to land that particular type of job for years while working corrections. At some point I had come upon that sub company that shall not be named here, and I noticed that their stuff worked faster and better than the companies I had been using before. You know, the ones with a million or so titles and scripts that are just a few affirmations, and make no effort to develop the technology beyond that.
At some point while working corrections I was getting very tired of applying to agency after agency and getting rejected every time. I ran one of their titles involving securing your ideal employment (paraphrase of actual title).
Two months. After YEARS of repeated failure, it took two months, and the hiring processes for these jobs usually take at least four.
Everything just clicked into place with that process like Majick.
Unfortunately, “locate your ideal employment” didn’t include anything about keeping your ideal employment and I, well mentally jammed up so badly on one aspect of the job, namely the ability to navigate and find addresses quickly and have a sense of direction, that I lost the job right off. I now know that I had exceeded my “success ceiling” and my subconscious was putting me back into a place that it thought I belonged through self sabotage.
I ran the same title again a couple of years later, and once again got the job within two months. A similar thing happened with it which lead me here. -
So now what? At some point in this run or directly after, I am going to want to correct this. Get something moving forward. I think that I’ve cleared up enough crap on DE and Khan st 1 that I can succeed at that job now. I have a couple of options. The first is to wait until this run is over and switch to the job finding title from that other company. I know for a fact that it works amazingly well. I can have a custom for excelling at the job ready to start as soon as I get an offer.
Another option is to stick with SubClub and make the Manifestation Monster custom I mentioned before. That’ll take more effort to consciously aim, but I can do it while on this run.
Another is to ask Subclub to come up with an equivalent line of products related to manifesting one’s perfect whatever.
I don’t have to decide now, but I’m thinking about it already.
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- Dang it. Just days after I order a new custom they make the experimental build available for customs.
I’ll keep watching everyone else’s results for a little while and decide if I want to do stage two in that build.
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You serious? I literally just ordered my new custom on Friday.
What’s your custom module list for the manifestation monster? Curiosity is killing me.
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This is what I had. I think I’m going to add a couple of things I put into RICH Elite and play with it a bit more before it’s final.
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- RICH Elite arrived today so I’m going to give it a first run tomorrow night. I’m feeling pretty good about this one.
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- I was walking into a business today and this girl who was standing outside collecting for a charity or something spontaneously complimented me on the flannel shirt I was wearing and asked me where I got it. She was cute in a freaky green haired kind of way.
That doesn’t happen normally.
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- I just got done with my loops for tonight including the first run of RICH Elite. I didn’t particularly feel anything, but RICH is pretty much a fire and forget sub anyway so I’m not sure what I would feel. It did feel smooth. There was no sense of resistance like I sometimes get when starting a new sub.
I do notice that I’m not as stressed about money as I was earlier today. I have a sense that things will work out even if I don’t have much of a clue as to how at the moment.
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- OK, now this is odd. I was in the hospital for another surgical follow up for the wife today and a second person complimented the flannel I was wearing. Same shirt. This time it was a sergeant with their security and while they appeared to have something going on.
This is really odd. I’ve had this shirt for years and no one has ever said anything about it out of the blue.
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The shirt doesn’t make the man. The man makes the shirt
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Today was our tenth anniversary. We went out for a nice dinner at the first plane we went when she moved in with me.
It was a great time. I low key, well, didn’t exactly hit on the waitress, but I joked with her very smoothly. She was amenable to that and had the personality for it herself. We just had fun, I guess you could call it flirting.
She wound up telling me some pretty personal stuff.
I don’t know exactly what that was, but there was some kind of connection there. She was cute and about twenty years younger than me too.
And no, the wife didn’t mind at all. -
I do some of my best thinking in the shower.
Today I was thinking of all of the things that I want to be different in my life and thought I should write them down specifically.
You know like, I want a job that makes enough money to cover bills and leaves leisure time to do X, Y, and Z, I want X type of new motorcycle, ect. It’s mostly lifestyle stuff that relates to financial condition so I think that RICH Elite may have something to do with it. -
I was also thinking more about the ideas I had regarding visual subliminals. I don’t know where I’d go with that, but the ideas are persistently there and seem very good. That usually happens for a reason.
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- I seem to have hit the phase with stage one where it’s smooth sailing and it doesn’t seem to be doing anything. I know from experience that that doesn’t mean that it actually isn’t doing anything or that I’m done with it. It does mean that it has kind of finished with its work on the level that its on.
If I were to run it for a significant amount of time more, it would eventually drill down to and clear even deeper issues.
I would, but I am going to be moving forward to stage two on schedule.
I’ve hit the good enough for now stage.
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**10/31/22 STAGE 1 CYCLE 4 WEEK 2**
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Today has been aggravating. I went to an appointment this morning and while I was in the parking lot I backed into another car. Not much damage, but damn it it’s probably going to raise my insurance rates which are ridiculous even with a perfect driving record. Maybe not, I don’t know.
Then, I didn’t realize that I had left my phone at the appointment until I got home. I had a hell of a time getting ahold of them to figure out they had it, then drive all the way back down there.
This left me without much time to sleep before work and I’ve got to take the wife to an appointment in the middle of the day tomorrow, so that’s going to suck.
I realize that both of these things are my fault, but that makes it more irritating not less. -
I did find out Tahiti a financial thing I was worried about isn’t as bad as I thought.
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- It’s almost time for me to order Stage two. I’ve got a question for you guys running the experimental titles. Should I get it made in the experimental format, or stick to standard ZP for now? What differences are you feeling?
Also, I’m considering swapping True Sell out for Wanted as my second core for the rest of the run. That might be more in line with my goals and I can always do True Sell or a custom with it in it as my second title if I need to.
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- I have another quandary. I need to bring in more money. My employer has gotten their shit together for the time being and has enough people so I’m not getting any overtime. Without that, I barely make enough to pay the bills.
There IS a possibility of us getting a significant raise in the next couple of months, but it’s no sure thing.
There is one thing I could do. The country that has my nearest major city needs corrections deputies very badly. I mean they’re desperate.
That’s good because it means I’m quite sure that I could get on easily and their starting pay is quite a bit more than I make now.
It’s bad because they’re desperate for a reason. Not to mention that there is a whole lot about corrections in general that sucks hardcore under the best of circumstances.
The county management is well, let’s just say not pro LE, and people are fleeing in droves. They’re below half staffing levels.
This could be a good thing though. If I can suck it up for a few years, the other shoe is likely to drop ans when it does, I’d be sitting pretty well with some seniority and some choice about what I do and where I go.
I’m not sure on this one.
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I bet Chosen would help immensely in that role. Establish you as leadership material from the earliest of your days there.
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