Hey glad to hear you are no longer a skeptic my dude! I wanna give a bit of insight for you, in regards of healing subs and non healing subs.
While I never used a healing stack except for rebirth (another amazing sub btw) I have gotten a lot of healing from non healing subs. I will admit Dragon Reborn was the reason I joined SubClub, it wasn’t the first sub I ran cause I saw how intense it can be for newer people (ironically I ran Emperor first) and I gained a lot of growth and healing. If I recall I believe I saw Fire make a post about pushing through recon, emotional pain, etc. and I did that since the beginning. Was it hard? Absolutely it was hard but it was very rewarding as well! I have healed a lot of internal issues and became more social, better thought process, grounded, confident etc all by taking the path of pushing through. Now subs that aren’t a healing sub will help with issues that get in the way of the subs goals or objectives and sometimes that means being put in situations that makes you uncomfortable like standing up for yourself, saying Hi to that woman that you think is drop dead gorgeous, starting a workout routine etc.
The point I am really trying to make is that while it is very commendable to ride the dragon in the beginning, there are ways of going about it. I’m not saying healing subs are pointless cause I fully intend to run DR in the future when I’m not in school, working, studying and my life chills out basically as I could greatly benefit from a healing stack and cycle(s) tbh, it’s just during all that I have still grown exponentially due to the healing to execute non healing subs goals.
I’m not trying to discourage you, if you feel like you want you need this then go for it my dude! Just wanted to give you my insight from my experience on my journey in terms of healing. So you have more info and decide whether to stick with Ascension or DR, you will get amazing results either way, plus you can always go back to DR in the future. Or you could run stage 1 for a few cycles and then go back to Ascension (I have seen journals where advanced users have done something similar to that) it’s your journey you do what you want! If you do decide to ride the dragon however, we are all here to support you! Best of luck, btw be easy on yourself during the washout
With me and DR , I wanted to rush through in 4 months but after running DR2, my intution said to me to extend 2 for another cycle and I may now ride the Dragon until the end of the year. For me I am running my subs based on my intuitive feel. So four months may turn into 8.
Hey man, thanks for your reply on here; I definitely wanted to get your input as well, as I know you were running DR (I haven’t gotten through your journal yet).
Yes, I can completely relate to this; I won’t go into too much detail here, but I’ve used a similar process to the subs to clear up some stuff in the past. In this other process, I used a process similar to Carl Jung’s Active Imagination (where you are communicating with symbols within the unconscious, in order to directly repair your relationship with the unconscious (I’ll give you more info on this if you ask me).
I am hearing what you and others on here are saying; basically that I’ll have more to push through and will encounter more friction than if I run other subs first. I completely understand your guys’ advice and logic on this. What I think you can’t see (of course, how could you?) is all the growth I’ve had over the years doing things other than subs.
For example, I have been in the boat of being nervous about approaching women and getting dates - I conquered that (although I will admit that due to my current circumstances, I’m not asking women out at all, due to my inablity to have my own space and the time committments I have regarding all the stuff with my daughter - I’ve put her first above everything else).
I used to be so anxious, I could not even sit in a room full of people; I’d just be afraid that if I looked up, they’d all be staring at me; I’ve conquered that as well, to the point where I’ve been told that I have very piercing eye contact (I think this is true for all who have been through shit and know who they are at their core, because we’re no longer concerned about how we’re perceived, so we are examining others at that point).
I tore all the ligaments in my knee at one point, had to have surgery to repair my ACL; doctors told me I’d never get full ROM back; I had others who had ACL reconstruction surgery tell me that I would not be able to be active like I was before - I conquered all these limiting beliefs, and visualized myself well, and even better than ever - and I got there.
I’m not saying all this to tout my own horn; I just am trying to give a more complete picture; yes, it’s true, I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life, it’s true that I sometimes feel weak compared to it all, but it’s equally true that I’ve also made a ton of growth and conquered a lot of things that I prioritized conquering.
It is because of this belief in myself that I am willing to give DR a shot, even without running any other subs first (except that I ran about 10 days of Ascension).
This is completely understandable - you are in a place in your life where you need to give priority to learning in school and studying (you’ll probably always have to be working). I think it’s wise of you to realize your limits and know what you can and can’t do simultaneously.
My situation is different; I’m 43, out of school, and in a pretty stable occupation. I’d have a lot of free time, if it wasn’t for all the legal issues that I have to deal with in regards to my daughter.
In my case, it’s more important that I start this healing journey now, because I’ve noticed there are things that are still holding me back (my self-doubt, my negative mindset, my various addictions (ways to self-medicate), etc.)
I think it’s great that you are still experiencing a lot of growth even with “non-healing” subs. I think they are all healing in some regard, just maybe not focusing on deep emotional wounds as some others “target”. (this is just my assumption though, as I don’t know anything specific)
This brings up one question I have regarding the subs; since DR is a multi-stage, I thought maybe you’d need to give yourself a healthy break between switching to a different sub (such as Ascension) - hence why I’m taking 5 days off between Ascension and DR.
In your experience, is it okay to just switch between them (like do one stage of DR and go back to Ascension for a while) or do you need to finish the multi-stage, in order for it to complete what it began?
Anyways man, I really hope you found the internal focus you were looking for; thanks for all your advice and personal experience, I really do appreciate it, and will keep it in mind if DR begins to really kick my ass (which is entirely possible).
Well it sounds like you do have a lot of resolve, and if your life is pretty much stable or as stable as it can be for the most part then definitely give DR a try.
To answer you question, no. I would just finish this current cycle with Ascension or do the washout of no less than 5 days. More if needed since it will be your first washout. Best of luck mi amigo!
Well, this is day 4 of my 5 days break between Ascension and starting DR. I’ve been anticipating starting DR, and it’s been difficult for me not to just start it, but I have read about overloading and how it can hurt more than help, in the long run.
I have to say that I have not experienced much of a washout (I’m guessing that means that I would be experiencing a lot of resistance).
Tomorrow will be my day 1, and I’ll start filling out this journal.
My ex started some more shit with me yesterday (legal stuff), and it had me so pissed off, I just wanted to go over there, break down her door, and beat the shit out of her…she keeps making everything more complicated and painful for my daughter, then blaming me when the ramifications (consequences) manifest as a result of her behavior.
So, I did some mindfulness stuff, and I jumped the gun a bit, and started DR last night (one loop), in order to settle me down, and remind myself that I am getting better, and eliminating bullshit from my life. I went to sleep fairly easily, and woke up a few times, but overall, I felt rested this morning.
I was only going to do one loop of DR this morning, as I had done one last night, but I just got the impression that I should do two, so I did two loops, while listening to some really inspirational and motivating music.
I have to say that this morning, I went through a very profound and insightful experience, where I was given some enlightenment into this whole situation regarding my ex. I have been hating all the bullshit that I seem to have to deal with, getting tired of all the added extra stuff that is totally unnecessary. A question came to my mind this morning, “how does someone become strong?” That question took me aback, because I’ve worked out (off & on) my entire life, and I know that strength only comes from progressive resistance - meaning that when you can lift a certain amount, you have to increase the difficulty (either more sets, more reps, less rest, or more weight) - in order for your muscles to keep on growing.
I began to see (my moment of realization) that all this stuff is really just a blessing in disguise of a curse, because it is making me very strong, and giving me clarity and knowledge of myself that I would not have otherwise. This completely changed my whole perspective on all the bullshit I’ve been dealing with, that I had previously labeled as “unnecessary”…in reality, it is necessary, necessary for my growth.
My daughter just woke up as I was writing this, and I have to finish getting ready for work, so that’s it for now.
I listened to 2 loops of DR this morning, and then stayed in bed for a while after. I got up this morning, and did not feel like working out, and my mind was like “you need to run on the treadmill”, so I did, and I feel great afterwards.
I’m noticing some situations that would have gotten me riled or been overcome by them, in the past, that I’ve been able to hang in there much more easily.
I’m tempted to listen to even more, to make the changes happen even faster, but I know from my time working out, that won’t work, because we have to allow ourselves time to grow and adapt…just like we can’t become a champion weight lifter overnight, even if we put in 10 hrs of lifting weights one day, because our muscles need to adapt and grow.
So, I’m looking forward to seeing the next changes that come; I notice myself having a more positive outlook (not a lot of one, but it’s noticeable).
I also purchased a book on beginning calisthenics, and feel very drawn towards exploring that sort of workout…I like the premise - don’t just isolate some muscle groups, but work all muscle groups, as if in a chain, to make sure your whole body is strong and in shape. I’m going to give it a go.
Before I start getting into what I really want to get into, I need to give some back story here. My ex’s & my relationship has been strained, at best, ever since we got separated & divorced years ago. Frequently, during the last few years, she has blatantly ignored the custody order, tried to get me in trouble with the authorities by filing false documents, etc. For years, I have been fighting all this, trying to find a way to catch her in her lies and deceptions. Additionally, during the last couple of years, she has turned my daughter against me, telling her lies about me, and making her hate me.
I, by nature, am not a malicious person. I know a great deal about psychology, but have always chosen to never use what I know in order to manipulate or hurt others. I, by nature, don’t know how to be deceptive and strategic with others (I should say that by nature, I probably do have this “gift”, but have always chosen not to use it, so I’m very out of practice - let’s leave it like that).
Well, recently, my ex tried to do her usual stuff, and try to mess with me, via the legal system. Usually, I would get angry, and curse and ask why the hell she has to be so deceptive and manipulative. This time, it was much different. I found myself planning 4 steps ahead of her, and before even I knew what was going on, I had successfully caught her in multiple lies and had reported her to the correct authorities, having direct evidence of her lies, trapping her in revealing her lies, herself, in text messages and emails. How did this occurr, you might ask? I found myself intentionally riling her, in order to highlight the situation for exactly what it is.
This is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this - but have wished, many times in the past, that I could do it.
At first, I got super angry, then depressed, then, even considered just killing myself, and opting out of all this sheer stupidness…but then, something interesting happened…I found myself getting angry…I mean super angry…and it fueled me, made me say, “no more, absolutely, no more”, and then I just knew I had to change the way I was doing things…change from trying to work things out for the sake of my daughter, to giving my full attention to trip up my ex, to expose the lies and hypocrisy.
I will keep you posted on what transpires, it should be interesting…I find myself being very calculating, and automatically using everything I know about psychology to trip people up all around me, to expose their true motives, so that there are not so many secrets, lies, and deceptions occurring around me.
This is not my natural bent - I definitely attribute this to running the DR sub - it’s like it’s beginning to heal my own view of myself, from one of deserving to have a shit life, to one of refusing to let people lie, deceive, and manipulate my life any longer.
Bravo! I will be starting DR3 on Monday. I feel the same way. When challenged, I would take the easy way out and not challenge not to make waves but now I stand up for myself more and not take any BS. The Dragon don’t play! Lol.
I’m posting this via my mobile phone, so excuse any typos or anything of that nature.
Just wanted to say I’m noticing an entire shift in my view of myself. All of a sudden, my mind is telling me / showing me my true value, instead of being focused on things not going how I’d like them to be.
Noticing myself have 100% more resolve when it comes not only to dealing with challenges that have arisen, but also taking them head on and not apologizing for the way I’m doing them.
Noticing myself sharing more about what’s going on in my life, and others giving me advice for once (usually I’m the one people come to for advice).
And overall I just feel good - which is completely unnatural for me, so this is a great shift.
I have peace about running DR, and think I’m going to run each stage for 45 days, maybe longer if I feel it’s needed.
I ran 2 loops today while making my breakfast. I use headphones with music going simultaneously. If you guys want to be able to do this, just set it up to ignore audio requests. I think today is day 6.
This exact thing (escaping unfair situation) started with me the day after my first listen of DR Stg 1:
Pretty cool to see the parallels. After completely reframing the nature of that relationship, things have gotten so much better for me in that department. I am confident your situation will improve drastically as well.
QFT. Embrace your inner savage. Uproot evil deeds with the sharp claws of truth.
“Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Thanks man! Yeah it is really cool to see the parallels for sure. I just chock everything up to the sub at this point, because I’m not doing anything else, except for listening to music and watching some documentaries once in a while in my free time.
Thanks for the quote! I love quotes; I’ve wanted to learn more about Nietzsche, I just have not gotten there yet. I think Philosophy has a lot of good resources. I have read Emerson quite a bit, and gotten a lot of good insight from his stuff.
Yes, I will embrace the inner savage; honestly, I try to be as un-intimidating as I can, as I’m always accused of that it seems like. I don’t know if it’s my bearing from being in the military, my stature, I don’t know, but I always try to put people at ease - but now, I sense something new forming in me, I’m not quite sure what it is yet, but it’s definitely much more aggressive and much less patient with people screwing me around. I’m looking forward to seeing the beast and learning to tame it.
I had to look up the definition of subterfuge lol Yes, I think that’s a good definition of what’s going on. When you say have a look at Power Can Corrupt, is that a book, an article, or something else? I did a Google search for it, but got like a gazillion results.
I think more than revealing a way out of the situation, it is changing my own view of myself so I’m unwilling to put up with bullshit any longer, and putting my foot down and using all the knowledge & experience I’ve accumulated over the years to accomplish this…that’s my take on it. It’s still fresh, and honestly, I find myself doing things, without really knowing why I’m doing them, but I’m just going with them, using benign attention and just saying “okay, let’s do this then”, and it’s quite a ride. I’m definitely enjoying this sub, and think it fits me better, for where I am now, than what Ascension was.
Rock on. Interestingly, my first jiu jitsu professor is an Iraq war vet and former combatives instructor for the Army. Off of the mats, he always tried to be as friendly and unintimidating as possible, although sometimes it was just plain unsettling. He’s a tall guy, lean shredded but not big and buff, and being a multi stripe black belt with kickboxing experience, could absolutely destroy most people in a fight. So in some sense I think he felt the need to compensate by being overly friendly, but to me, made him feel a lot less approachable in general. He is still a super cool dude who I look up to, I just think it would suit him more to unleash that stifled tension and be more commanding.
My current professor is a perfect example of someone who is one of the nicest people I know, while still commanding an absolute respect. Although he is also much older and has had time to find that balance. And that isn’t to say that my other professor didn’t command respect, because he did, there was just that air of something that made it more unsettling by trying too hard to be nice. Also, I’m not insinuating nor assuming that this is the case for you, just figured the anecdote may help you explore that side of yourself.
I am traveling right now, so I am not using my regular format, as all entries will be via mobile. I’m taking a pen & paper journal while here, so I’ll convert it when I get home.
To give a synopsis, this is day 11 for me. I noticed myself (more or less) automatically using mindfulness meditation on some rather deep and painful emotions that surfaced yesterday.
In addition, I also have my mind coaching me or guiding me, maybe both. I started to feel feelings of inferiority 2 days ago, but my mind told me “only compare yourself with yourself” (something Maxwell Maltz used to advise all the time). So, I started asking myself, am I better than yesterday? If so, I’m on the right track, if not, just figure out why not, and work towards that goal for tomorrow.
So that’s a synopsis of the last few days.
I’ve been listening every other day, 2 loops of DR stage 1 on my listening days.
I am still traveling. Got some kind of a notification of being a user of the month; thank you all for that amazing recognition. I hope what I’ve said various places have helped some others, just as you guys have all helped me, too.
So, today I listened to DR Stg 1 for 2 loops in the morning when I woke up…I used headphones, while simultaneously playing some chill music I like.
I was beginning to think maybe not much more had been occurring, and then today, I found myself being super aggressive towards those who were trying to manipulate me. I also noticed a ton of looks in my direction from some very pretty ladies. One girl, whom I kept eye contact with for a few seconds, smiled, and I smirked back. I did not try to pursue anything because timing is more than horrible for that kind of thing. I mention it because I’m noticing some interesting changes occurring in myself.
That’s all for now, I’ll be more active here again when I get home in about a week.
