Dragon Reborn - My journey

Journals - Major Programs
#21

This exact thing (escaping unfair situation) started with me the day after my first listen of DR Stg 1:

Pretty cool to see the parallels. After completely reframing the nature of that relationship, things have gotten so much better for me in that department. I am confident your situation will improve drastically as well.

QFT. Embrace your inner savage. Uproot evil deeds with the sharp claws of truth.

“Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

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#22

Thanks man! Yeah it is really cool to see the parallels for sure. I just chock everything up to the sub at this point, because I’m not doing anything else, except for listening to music and watching some documentaries once in a while in my free time.

Thanks for the quote! I love quotes; I’ve wanted to learn more about Nietzsche, I just have not gotten there yet. I think Philosophy has a lot of good resources. I have read Emerson quite a bit, and gotten a lot of good insight from his stuff.

Yes, I will embrace the inner savage; honestly, I try to be as un-intimidating as I can, as I’m always accused of that it seems like. I don’t know if it’s my bearing from being in the military, my stature, I don’t know, but I always try to put people at ease - but now, I sense something new forming in me, I’m not quite sure what it is yet, but it’s definitely much more aggressive and much less patient with people screwing me around. I’m looking forward to seeing the beast and learning to tame it.

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#23

I had to look up the definition of subterfuge lol Yes, I think that’s a good definition of what’s going on. When you say have a look at Power Can Corrupt, is that a book, an article, or something else? I did a Google search for it, but got like a gazillion results.

I think more than revealing a way out of the situation, it is changing my own view of myself so I’m unwilling to put up with bullshit any longer, and putting my foot down and using all the knowledge & experience I’ve accumulated over the years to accomplish this…that’s my take on it. It’s still fresh, and honestly, I find myself doing things, without really knowing why I’m doing them, but I’m just going with them, using benign attention and just saying “okay, let’s do this then”, and it’s quite a ride. I’m definitely enjoying this sub, and think it fits me better, for where I am now, than what Ascension was.

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#24

This is what @Michel meant by Power Can Corrupt

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#25

Rock on. Interestingly, my first jiu jitsu professor is an Iraq war vet and former combatives instructor for the Army. Off of the mats, he always tried to be as friendly and unintimidating as possible, although sometimes it was just plain unsettling. He’s a tall guy, lean shredded but not big and buff, and being a multi stripe black belt with kickboxing experience, could absolutely destroy most people in a fight. So in some sense I think he felt the need to compensate by being overly friendly, but to me, made him feel a lot less approachable in general. He is still a super cool dude who I look up to, I just think it would suit him more to unleash that stifled tension and be more commanding.

My current professor is a perfect example of someone who is one of the nicest people I know, while still commanding an absolute respect. Although he is also much older and has had time to find that balance. And that isn’t to say that my other professor didn’t command respect, because he did, there was just that air of something that made it more unsettling by trying too hard to be nice. Also, I’m not insinuating nor assuming that this is the case for you, just figured the anecdote may help you explore that side of yourself.

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#26

Thanks @Uber_Elysium, I appreciate it man; it looks interesting, and I’ve bookmarked that page to come back to later once I’m done with my DR journey.

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#27

I am traveling right now, so I am not using my regular format, as all entries will be via mobile. I’m taking a pen & paper journal while here, so I’ll convert it when I get home.

To give a synopsis, this is day 11 for me. I noticed myself (more or less) automatically using mindfulness meditation on some rather deep and painful emotions that surfaced yesterday.

In addition, I also have my mind coaching me or guiding me, maybe both. I started to feel feelings of inferiority 2 days ago, but my mind told me “only compare yourself with yourself” (something Maxwell Maltz used to advise all the time). So, I started asking myself, am I better than yesterday? If so, I’m on the right track, if not, just figure out why not, and work towards that goal for tomorrow.

So that’s a synopsis of the last few days.

I’ve been listening every other day, 2 loops of DR stage 1 on my listening days.

Hope everyone is doing well.

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#28

I am still traveling. Got some kind of a notification of being a user of the month; thank you all for that amazing recognition. I hope what I’ve said various places have helped some others, just as you guys have all helped me, too.

So, today I listened to DR Stg 1 for 2 loops in the morning when I woke up…I used headphones, while simultaneously playing some chill music I like.

I was beginning to think maybe not much more had been occurring, and then today, I found myself being super aggressive towards those who were trying to manipulate me. I also noticed a ton of looks in my direction from some very pretty ladies. One girl, whom I kept eye contact with for a few seconds, smiled, and I smirked back. I did not try to pursue anything because timing is more than horrible for that kind of thing. I mention it because I’m noticing some interesting changes occurring in myself.

That’s all for now, I’ll be more active here again when I get home in about a week.

Hope all of you are doing well.

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#29

I’m still on vacation here. Listened to DR for 2 loops, this time I tried something different, listening on headphones, while watching a movie (and sound for the movie was also in the headphones).

I think this is day 13.

When I got done listening this morning, I had a very interesting feeling that things were going to start getting good, like I had the impression that I was going to start noticing some very (positive) dramatic changes occurring in the near future.

I’ve learned to pay attention to my gut instincts, and the best way I can describe this feeling was a gut instinct of some sort.

I am ready to see what happens next, and open to whatever changes occur.

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#30

Date & Time: Thursday, 08/11/2022 03:18:26 PM

Subliminal: Dragon Reborn

Stage: 01

Day: 21

Notes:

Yesterday was really difficult for me; I went through a phase where I was just questioning everything. My job, my life situation, custody issues, my personality, etc.

I felt so exhausted and depleted, that I just came home after work, watched a couple of movies, and went right to bed.

Even this morning was difficult; I had no motivation to get moving, and still felt really depleted, but got my ass up anyway and did what I had to do.

Today, things shifted dramatically.

I came to a realization that I have been focusing on everything going wrong in my life, instead of intentionally choosing what I want my life to look like, and setting that as a goal and working towards it. I had the realization that I have accepted everything as fate, and accepted that there was no way to change it. Today, I had the thought just hit me out of the blue, “what if you started thinking about what you do want, and started to move towards that instead?”

I know this may sound so simple; it does to me as I’m writing this out, but it’s hard (maybe impossible) for me to get across how much of a shift in my thinking this is for me. The last few years, I’ve just been through so much on so many different levels, I think I started forming a “learned helplessness” mentality. For those of you who are not aware, learned helplessness refers to the state of mind of an animal (usually) that is encouraged to find an escape to a situation, but none actually exists, and they end up just giving up at some point. After the learned helplessness mentality has set in, a way of escape can be opened for the animal, and they still won’t take it, because they’ve learned it’s helpless to try to escape as it’s impossible.

My own situation has been very similar to said animal above - I’ve been trying things for years to “fix” stuff I’m in, only to have it get worse or completely backfire on me, and I know that at some point, I came to the conclusion that it’s better to not even try to fix it, because it’s always going to be fucked, and there is nothing I can do about it.

The fact that I had this realization is amazing, because I know my mind had to be so entrenched in the “impossible to escape” mindset for so long, that I was not even looking for a possible way to change my situation any longer - just accepting that it is the way it is and that’s that.

Now for some logistics; I’m amazed that it’s already been 21 days of running DR stage 1! I’m going to take 5 days off, starting tomorrow, and then run stage 1 for an additional 21 days. Right now, I’m thinking I’m going to run each stage for 42 days (21 x 2), not counting the 5 days off at the end of the 21.

So far, it’s been a roller coaster ride for sure; it’s really helped me to start questioning some things in my life, and also helped me to see some other things a lot more clearly.

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#31

I came to this realization too during my first cycle of DR1. I was going through a lot relating to my personality, my career, my custody battle with my ex, my life situation… basically kicking myself hard for all the crap I created for myself. The holes I dug very deeply with this idea that I’d never be able to climb out. :tired_face:

I’ve become more aware of when I’m focused on what I don’t want vs what I do want and shifting my attention much quicker. I’m not as hard on myself either.

Adding LBFH to this DR journey has been a game changer for me!

I’m going to do 2 cycles of each stage as well, unless I am called to do more.

I continue exploring the idea of living from my end of my wishes fulfilled. Feeling into fulfilment and accomplishment of the things I want as thought I am already experiencing and have them right now.

Neville Goddard is my jam!

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#32

@7empest

Thanks for writing; I love getting these little messages letting me know that someone else has already experienced what I’m experiencing - kind of gives me some hope that I’m on a good path, and the sub is working properly. I am exactly where you were when you were going through all this stuff, so I’m really happy that you are finding ways to make life more enjoyable.

I just got the email for LBFH, and I got that one, too! I’m excited to try it out, but I think I’m going to wait for a little bit. I want to run at least one more cycle of DR 1 before adding anything else.

Yes! That is exactly the state of mind I am beginning to (re)explore. I say re-explore, because I’ve been exposed to this before, but forgot it, due to the holes I’ve dug, as you said.

I really like Neville Goddard as well; if you would like more science as to how it all works, I cannot recommend Maxwell Maltz’ book “Psycho-Cybernetics” highly enough. There is a new version called “Psycho-Cybernetics Updated and Expanded” with Matt Furey as the editor, and I’d recommend that one, as it’s the original text (which is the best in my opinion); and Matt just adds his own insights to it, which really helps.

Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who noticed that people’s outward appearance did not necessarily correlate to their inner appearance; he figured that since he was a plastic surgeon, and since this inner appearance was affecting his patients (as much or more than physical surgery), he should understand what made a person who they are on the inside.

He is the one who coined the term “self image” and all “self image” psychology originated from him. He was writing in the times of automated missles that were guided by cybernetics, hence the title psycho-cybernetics.

Anyway, if it sounds interesting to you, pick it up, I’m sure you will like it.

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#33

I wish I’d had the wisdom to read books multiple times. Or at least ponder on them and write out some notes after I read them. That’s one of the original books I read, Psycho-Cybernetics, and I only read it once. I got the audiobook now. I also picked up Zero Resistance selling by the same author but it seems I won’t even need it now that True Sell is here! But I’ll read it anyway too. :smiley:

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#34

This is a post-post (meaning it is one I created via notepad & pen at an earlier date, while traveling)

Date & Time: Thursday, 08/04/2022 3:00 PM

Subliminal: Dragon Reborn

Stage: 01

Day: 14

Notes:

I definitely feel like I am becoming more mature with my feelings, and like some things are beginning to heal.

I am noticing myself becoming more introspective (and I already am pretty introspective, so this is interesting to me). I’m noticing I don’t feel as awkward around others (oftentimes, I feel almost like a fish out of water around others). In the past, I’ve felt awkward because I feel and think so deeply, that oftentimes I cannot relate to most people around me.

I intentionally try to avoid small talk, because I just detest it. I think this stems from my time going on humanitarian aide trips to other countries, and interacting with people who were drug abusers, homeless, and really didn’t give a shit who knew it. I would much rather interact with someone like that than someone who is trying to put on a facade with me (I can always see right through it).

This whole trip, I’ve had multiple people tell me I’m doing a great job as a dad (something that took me aback a bit, as I never had one myself, and have kind of just been stumbling through everything). I’ve had the mental clarity to know that I need to always check my motivations when it comes to my daughter - to put her well being above other stuff. I try to discipline her for her benefit, not because I’m angry or she didn’t obey me or something like that.

I was told I am very meek during this trip, too. I used to think meek meant weak, but I’m learning that actually it’s controlled strength - I think that is actually a good way to describe me. As Jordan Peterson says, don’t be nice or a gentleman - be a monster, but learn to control that energy within you and only bring it out when needed - I have instinctively tried to adopt that sort of personality for myself, as I built myself from the ground up, as I didn’t really have any great role models to use.

I listened to 2 loops this morning, of DR Stg1, through my phone’s speaker, while Coldplay was also playing.

This is day 14, started on 7/21; I’ve done 7 listening days and 7 rest days at this point. I’m still planning on at least 42 days per stage, and taking 5 days off after 21 days, and then doing another 21 days of stage 1 (and following this pattern for the other stages as well).

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#35

I have that book but didn’t finish it!

Funny you mention it because I’ve been glancing over at it lately. :smirk::+1::boom:

I’ll dive into it very soon. Finishing up Five Lessons by Neville Goddard. Loved his complete reader too!

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#36

Date & Time: Friday, 08/12/2022 03:19:04 PM

Subliminal: Dragon Reborn

Stage: 01

Day: 22

Notes:

So, I have been planning on running DR alone for 2 cycles each. I got the LBFH sub email, and picked up my free copy (thanks guys!) and I still planned on waiting till at least cycle 2 of DR to start running that with DR.

I was reading @7empest’s comment on my journal yesterday, how LBFH was a game changer for her, and I still was thinking that I was going to wait till at least cycle 2 of DR to run anything else.

Today, I just started feeling very powerful sexually; my tone of voice was very deep, I was feeling on top of my game, I was beginning to think of my life in more positive ways, etc. I appreciated all these feelings, but usually don’t put much stock in feelings, as they can change in an instant and are not rock solid enough for me to use to make decisions (in my experience). However, then I began to get this quiet but intense gut instinct that I should run LBFH along with my 2nd cycle of DR stg 1.

I have not explored why I sense I should do this; although, I know that I do have some sexual hangups as a result of being molested in the past and have been trying to work through elusive psychological effects of that for most of my life. I have this sense that this sub may help with some of my psychological issues stemming from this particular thing from my past.

So, I’m going to try running LBFH along with DR stg 1 starting on 8/17 (which will be the end of my 5 days rest between cycles).

Thanks @7empest for the great suggestion.

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#37

You’re welcome :relaxed: :pray:

Looking forward to following your success with this intense journey.

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#38

Date & Time: Sunday, 08/14/2022 09:23:43 AM

Subliminals: DR Stg 1, LBFH

Day: 24

Notes:

I have not started LBFH; I am currently on day 3 of my 5 day break after completing one 21 day cycle with DR Stg 1.

One thing I’ve noticed is that my desire to look at porn has diminished quite a bit. I’ve tried to watch porn, in order to escape from things, and I find myself quite restless, even while watching it. Whereas I used to get some relief from my present reality as a result of watching porn, I now find hardly any solace in it at all, which is good, and bad…good because it is helping me get rid of an activity that I have used in order to self-medicate; bad because now I’m stuck with reality, and sometimes reality just sucks…but I know that the only way to heal from things is to experience them and accept them as they are - everything else is just postponing the inevitable, so I’m ready to start working on all the issues I’ve been running from.

I feel good about adding LBFH to my stack; more and more, I feel an intense peace about it - like it’s necessary for what’s coming up next. Time will tell; I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so I think it’s not a coincidence that I received a suggestion about running it plus DR Stg 1 at the same time, while simultaneously getting an email to try it for free of charge; plus my gut instinct of feeling a lot of peace about it as well.

I believe this next cycle will be a lot of sexual healing for me, and that the LBFH will be coupled with DR in that way, as there are a lot of issues in this area for me.

I feel a lot of my healing is incomplete in my sexuality; and I’ve been running from it for years and years, hoping it would just be okay.

I have faced being molested by a family friend, I have faced my addiction to porn as a result of that; I’ve faced hatred and blaming myself for the molestation (and no longer do), I’ve faced sadness and frustration about not having had a dad who gave a shit about me - and therefore could have been protected at a young age (I’ve forgiven him), I’ve faced not having a mom who really gives a shit either (as I’m pretty sure she’s a narcissist, and is thus incapable of a real emotional connection of any kind). I’ve faced all these things, and thought that these were all that was there.

But, if I’m honest with myself, I know there is more; there is using porn to run away from uncomfortable situations in life, there is taking some sick pleasure in how shitty my life can actually get, so I can feel more powerful over what I do as a result (I’m not going to lie, I’ve often thought about suicide and gotten some sick pleasure from leaving all of it behind) - yet now, I find myself desiring to overcome it all and not taking the easy way out. There is the inability to get an erection a lot of times when I’m with a woman - which I have chocked up to sexual issues from being violated at a young age, and all the porn use as a result of that. There are the times that I want to just die, because of just the seemingly insurmountable stuff that I have endured in the past, and which I still have to deal with (but strangely, lately I feel more and more capable of taking these issues head on). There is the feeling that I’m not attractive to women (and yet the wildly opposite reality of constantly being told I am when I was younger). I know I’ve put up lots of walls; I know I hate being around people that I don’t agree with (and I also know this is a form of staying safe and in your comfort zone). There is other stuff, but I’m aware that these things are there. I’ve done a ton of work on myself, but there is still a lot to do yet.

One things is for sure, this sub is definitely bringing up a lot of emotional wounds from the past, and is dealing with them, slowly but surely. On the one hand, I am really happy and grateful; on the other hand, it really sucks and hurts quite a bit. Yet I’m ready for getting rid of all this shit, and being reborn as a healed man that believes in himself and is authentic with the rest of the world. Looking forward to running stage 1 again, but this time with LBFH starting 8/17.

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#39

Date & Time: Wednesday, 08/17/2022 04:32:54 PM

Subliminals: DR Stg 1, LBFH

Day: 27

Notes:

This is the first day I’ve run this stack. Overall, I had a pretty good day; started out the usual, me not very excited about my life as it currently is, me getting discouraged because of a lot of things beyond my control in order to fix it, etc.

I did notice myself thinking less about myself today; meaning that I was not second guessing myself nor wondering what I looked like through the eyes of others.

I also noticed that I came up with some creative solutions to issues that came up; and I pretty much just found myself doing that, without giving it a ton of thought.

That’s pretty much it for this entry.

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#40

Great for you. I have my days when I get brief glimpses of that. I am really working on that.

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