Dragon Reborn Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#41

Sorry I’m a bit late to the party :slight_smile:

I think, for whatever it’s worth, this is pure gold here. I know it feels shitty to have that sort of realization (I’ve been through many of these sorts of moments myself as well) - knowing what you didn’t have, but should have had, and what you’ve missed out on as a result.

However, I’m a big believer in Emerson’s Law of Compensation (The Law of Compensation :: Emerson Essays - Ralph Waldo Emerson). Basically, it states that no matter what we go through (good or bad), there is an opposite compensatory effect that occurs simultaneously.

For example, you were not accepted by your dad, and this has had some negative affects on your life. However, this has also had some positive affects on your life. Maybe you’re much more secure in who you are, maybe you feel you know yourself more as a result of being more introspective, maybe you now know what to work on in yourself and have greater clarity. The point is that no matter what we go through, there is always “the seed of an equivalent success” (Napoleon Hill) in that situation of pain.

Why I said this is gold, is because you’ve become aware of something, and that is amazing - it means your mind has trusted you with that potentially painful realization, because it believes you can handle it and work on it.

Whatever we can become aware of, we can deal with - it’s those things we are not aware of that are hurting us, and all we see are the after-effects.

I hope this helps.

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#42

This was very helpful. The power of awareness.

Thank you. :pray:

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#43

Instead of being sucked into doomsday with recon this evening, I found myself doing experimental stretches, core work and mobility movements. I began doing different breath work too.

I forgot about all my troubles for that moment in time, which was quite lovely.

I had a thought, “if I focus on things like this then it will occupy my mind more than the stuff I worry about.” Duh? :roll_eyes: (why can’t it just be that simple all the time?)

I often found it easier to focus on my worries which were so ingrained and programmed in me that anything else seemed like hard work. Those worries just cause stress and tension in the body. I’m on a mission to release all of it! Set myself free!

Anytime I would start to focus on something creative with food, music, writing or my business goals, it would feel too hard, so by default I would go back to the worry and do things related to that instead. I would find a problem to fix. Get myself wrapped up in that for hours, days, weeks, months and sometimes years. :flushed:

Earlier today I found myself acknowledging the small wins with my subliminals I’ve been using so far and giving thanks. Gaining awareness, insights and aha moments are wins for me!

There may be a long “dragon reborn” bridge ahead of me to cross, but I see the gold at the end of that bridge. By having the mindset that this journey is a fun adventure rather than some crappy chore or dreadful work, it’ll be a little less crazy! :fire:

Here’s to me embracing more of my time for productivity related to my goals and dreams and less on excuses, procrastination, doubt, dread and fear!!!

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#44

Day 20 ~ Rest Day

Wow! Almost wash out time…

This journey is no joke!

Every single thing I have hated or disliked about ME has come to the surface smacking me in the face.

This overwhelm of sadness washes over me as I think of how unloving I’ve been to myself. When I take the blame off others it all becomes so crystal clear.

Nobody and no thing can make you feel lovely but you. Everyone just reflects back to you how you truly think and feel about yourself.

Self concept is so important.

I feel this tenacity for a higher level of self concept with more love and kindness. Being happy with who I am as I become something greater.

Enjoying the journey with less distaste for self.

I feel like I’m continuing to purge and flush the crap out of me and trying to do this with minimal discomfort.

My ex’s parents were very calm and gentle with me yesterday when I picked up my daughter. It was very different! It felt like I was almost unconsciously trying to reject the gentleness.

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#45

The main benefit that I recall is they may have less reconciliation.

Now I have been reading your journal.

I ask you to consider listening to DR once a week for 2 weeks and notice what happens.

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#46

Tomorrow’s my last day before wash out!

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#47

Day 21 ~ listened to LBFH only.

Wash out starts tomorrow!

Feeling pretty emo at the moment. Doing things to help shift though.

Debating if I will continue with ST1 of DR for another cycle or move on to the next stage.

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#48

Reread the St1 description, ponder on it a bit and then decide if you should run one more cycle or move on.

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#49

With a title like DR I would always recommend two cycles per stage.

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#50

First day of wash out from DR1 with some LB and LBFH in there…

I didn’t cry yesterday. I had a lot of realizations of things from my past that I allowed to keep me stuck.

I started reviewing my chakras today making various connections where blockages have been that need releasing.

I struggled with safety, connection, enjoying being in my body, I struggled to honour my desires, or really to enjoy the life I wanted.

I would often put things off and blame other things for why I didn’t get them done. Creative projects, business aspirations etc.

I would attract emotionally unavailable men to work on. (Background in mental health)

When someone emotionally available comes my way I find I don’t know what to do and retreat to old patterns. This is something I am working on though.

I had sexual trauma experiences when I was younger that I brushed off as no big deal. This created blockages in the sacral area. I am experiencing a lot of healing in this area right now.

A lot of emotional purging going on for me.

It’s like another spiritual awakening process with all the crappy side effects. Knowing what’s at the end keeps me going though.

This subliminal is no joke and not for the faint of heart.

My journal may present as me really struggling but I continue to work at my goals a little each day… I get myself out in nature, I meditate, I read, I connect with like minded people, daily journaling and connection with you guys helps a ton, yoga, mobility, supplements and herbs, good tea, desiring less caffeine and more healthier food choices.

I’ve also recently met someone who I really vibe with. I am really excited to see where it takes me! (Very open and honest communication.)

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#51

Yesterday, I wondered why my ex fiancé came to pick up our daughter, but quickly went outside to wait in his car. Like he couldn’t be around me at all. He came back in seeming angry and wasn’t impressed with my allowing of her to quickly eat something before leaving.

It was very different. I was radiating love but he repelled it!

He’s definitely had negative intentions towards me, either conscious or unconscious. We’re going through court where he has painted an ugly picture of me being something I most certainly am not.

I wasn’t as bothered by his behaviour which is a relief for me.

I look forward to my next court date with the support of LBFH. :heart:

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#52

Might throw PCC in for fun too

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#53

Are you suggesting that for me?

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#54

Yep. With enough PCC it would help with court stuff I think

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#55

Day 3 of wash out ~

Woke up wanting to do loving things for myself after reflecting on the previous week of adding lbfh with DR. I did a different yoga flow, put on some Tool, did mobility and then some free flow yoga. Sang and had a nice gentle cry.

So much healing has been going on with me emotionally., physically, mentally and spiritually…

My ego really tries to latch on for dear life attempting to take charge of my bus… she’s a sneaky one! I use my tools to quickly shift away from that state.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with the guy I manifested a week ago. Noticing a lot of my insecurities coming up to heal. I find myself scanning for evidence that he isn’t the one, that I will do what I always did or he will do what the others have done. Sabotaging and victimizing behaviours.

This type of crap takes you from the present, which is all we really have.

We were sexual and I found myself worrying about how it felt for him. Past experiences were flooding to my awareness, taking me to a place of healing. I quickly shifted feeling love pouring through me. There’s nothing wrong with my body or my lady bits! If they have an issue it has nothing to do with me. Maybe male fatigue is legit and impacts sex… maybe being caught up in your head can impact sex… but again, it’s not about me!

Of course I am worthy of something amazing. I don’t have to be dominate or too masculine. I don’t have to be stubborn. I don’t have to defend myself all the time. I don’t have to prove a point or be right about everything. I don’t have to kill off something beautiful to prove some old programs point.

I am not my history, my stories or this body. I am spirit having a human experience.

I desire to be a loving playful wife, not an insecure controlling look for any proof this won’t work kind of wife!

My abandonment wound is really prevalent at the moment. I’m making sure to give this high priority.

Why didn’t I believe I was worthy of great love?
Because I wasn’t giving myself all the great love.
I was a SEEKER. Finding it outside of me, through men, substances (weed mostly and alcohol before) or sex. I distracted myself and avoided my healing through those vices.

I am completely sober these days while also have taken several months away from sex. I’ve dedicated the past 2 years intensely to my healing, with this bringing it to a whole other level!

That is when I was led to these subliminals! I’ve done some hypnosis as well…

Since subliminal club: I really started tapping into my inner being and giving me all the love, pruning away all the crap…and that’s when I manifested this guy.

He checks off all of my ideal partner boxes.

I noticed last night that way more guys are reaching out to me since LBFH, so I thought to myself, what if there’s something better? That was a thought I had floating around in my mind since puberty! It gave rise to so many failed relationships or potential relationships! That pulls you from the present experience, enjoying what’s right in front of you now.

I really don’t wanna sabotage this!

Feels good to let this stuff out here.

Time to finish my morning beverage and get on with this lovely day.

:heart:

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#56

Exactly, and yet love can only be in the present moment… but we look for it in the future (“maybe someone is better”) or in the past (“things were better when I was young…”)

Everything is present moment, even past and future are just thoughts happening in the present :slightly_smiling_face: (but taken as something substantial)

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#57

This is gold! :boom:

I’m learning to appreciate the present moment with the experiences that come from it!

Pulling my attention forward when I start going back there or ahead of myself!

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#58

Day 5 of wash out ~

Been staying up late and sleeping in… dreaming lots with minimal recall…

I went for brunch yesterday and the waitress sat beside me very closely… I believe she felt my intense love energy!

I’ve been spending everyday with the guy I manifested since adding LBFH… I find myself sharing all my thoughts and feelings without holding back… he accepts what I am saying… we are able to carry on deep conversations without much tension!

We also share very similar visions for life.

I’ve gotten 2 different people complimenting my physique. They asked if I lost weight and that I look more toned. Less bloating in the belly…

I was more relaxed at my massage yesterday. Giving my RMT lots of compliments… feeing the love circulate in the room!

Less anger, less sadness, but wanting the best for myself and almost obsessive over it!

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#59

Started my new cycle today:

DRST1 & LBFH ~ 1 loop of each every other day.

I may add Paragon back on the alternate day.

If the recon is too much I will return to a MWF schedule or maybe DR once per week and LBFH every other day. Not sure yet!

Settled my 20 month court case with my ex today. Everyone was so different in the court appearance today. My ex, the judge and his lawyer seemed more loving and gentle.

I had a big cry afterwards. Feeling a deep release in my body.

Now I am back to thinking about my body and what I can do to better myself even more. Trying not to become obsessive over it!

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Just New To Subliminal Club
#60

Day 2 ~ REST

The victim in me came to the surface for some healing yesterday.

Reflecting on my 12 years as a mom. The choices and mistakes I made. The consequences I’ve faced as a result of all of those choices. Heavy recon around that!

Restless sleep and peed a lot. LBFH side effect for me!

Lots of intense dreams with minimal recall.

Woke up wanting to quit subs.

Feeling a lot of feels right now.

Maybe I will just listen to DR once a week this cycle or MWF.

Going to relax under a tree and read Neville Goddard with my mushroom coffee!

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