Day 7
I did today a loop and finished 10 min ago.
I have headaches AL over my brain in many different areas.
Unpleasant but itās working
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Are you listening to all of these consistently because I could see that contributing to a headache (reconciliation)
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Reading that list and the thought of running it gave me a headache.
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Yes and no
It was no problem for 2 weeks to experiment.
I run DR in combination with C3 and Sanguine Ultima. Thatās it.
Headaches is something else.
If you experienced heavy traumatic stuff since a 2 years old little little child repeatedly then itās no wonder. But like I said itās only headache (and I donāt have headaches in my life until DR, because I was numb in many areas) its a very good sing that DR does the Job its intended to to.
I give a Big Compliment to Saint Sovereign and Fire
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Anyway today I Stopp DR for 2 days.
I can lisen 2 days DR and then have to stop it for 2-3 days.
Looks like this pattern is right for me
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I stood up 10 min ago.
40 hours no subs.
I had this feeling of DR is processing like a machine. Then my mind was occupied with people I have fights.
I coud not stop it, it ramp up very ugly.
I punished a stupid women yesterday for trying to dominate, control, bossing me around and then let other males do her dirty intension for 3 weeks. it didnāt workt with me what she trys to do. So I had the feeling of I can let it go because i repay her big time and itās over forever and she lost forever. But it was not over I Coud not stop, I fantasysed punishing her even more and doing some very ugly nasty mind games with her.
Then AL of a sudden I ask myself, what do I have to do in order for this to stop. For the next 20 seconds I saw that it is never enough punishment because I was addicted to arugemts/fights/verbal shoutingā¦
I instantly ran to the toilet and vomited the whole unhealthy state out, left the toilet lighting a cigarette run back to the toilet and let an explosion of diarrhea into the the toilet again 
I had this addiction to fights since little child
Now my mind is at peace
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After nearly 3 days pause of subs, today I start with one loop Sanguine Ultima and then 1 loop DR
Any noticeable changes during your days off?
Yes many.
I asked the spirits in me if this program is good and they dance with joy and tell me to proceed
If feel this dragon power inside me all day long
Inner calm and happynes that I found another tool that really works
Knowing of most of my problems will be burned away and therfore I am confident x100
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Automatic facing the problem instead of running away/hide/take the way around
Mutch processing during off days
During RegenerationQ custom and Elixir Ultima I was running in the middle of the loops to the toilet, vomiting the shit energy out, many times
With DR afterwards and not surface stuff, the root cause of the problem. Vomit Deluxe.
Loop 6 start in 30 min
A fun fact in 11days I Coud only do 5 loops.
What a powerful program DR isš
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Holy shit. That seems to be a theme among DR users so far. The sheer depth and intensity of the experiences of it. Iām a ways from DR, but itās fascinating reading the journals.
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31 min in and headache and pressure ramp up and now hot air is rushing through me
Last couple of times I had headaches on my left brain now itās on my right brain
Now it starts to dissolve
40 minutes in and Fire starts in my chest this time, thatās new
Now the fire rushing down to my feets.
Ohhhhhh woooooow
I had always trouble of letting a good state happen, it is burned away, no more resistance for good states
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2 hours after the loop I feel down and somehow can get control over the state
That is incredible valueble
Iām running my 10th loop right now. 
Iām going to see what happens when Iām done with my 10th loop as itās the last loop today before starting the day.
Right now I am in an up and down state like a sinus wave, 1 sekond up 1sekond down.
Its not even funny
But it Wil pass
Holy shit what the fuck happened I am realeseing constantly dark/brown energetic heavy shit since 6 hours.
This I realy ugly
When does this stop
This night was somhow horrible
Still head pressure and it feels like shit is constantly leaving me
Had to lisen to The Elixir Ultima yesterday.
And in all this shitt I get a boner
What the fuck
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I felt the worst shit (LEAVING) since 12 hours
This was and is so unpleasant but underneath I smile and know that it is necessary
I t was so mutch Energy that I lost control
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