If you go to 1 loop a day, that might help.
If you go to 1 loop every other day, that might help.
From an SC email:
“Q Core v2 increases the power of our titles by threefold.”
1 Like
Three fold you say? Hmmmm. I should back off to every other day then.
Think I might build a custom today and then moving forward rotate it with DR every week.
If it doesn’t work out I can always just switch to DR only, but I feel like I need to change up my strategy with how to go about things because the healing only route seems to land me in trouble.
No custom. Just DR, I’m going to stick this out. I’m also going to remind myself whatever I’m dealing with, in the end I’m the one overcoming it. As much as the subs help, it’s me doing the work. So I need to stop giving so much credit to the subs as if I’m not doing anything.
I had a hell of a week this week. I don’t want to get into it, but now that the weekend has hit I’m so emotionally and physically exhausted and I’m depressed because of that. It has nothing to do with DR, but one thing DR is doing is making me painfully aware of bad situations I’m in.
Part of my difficulties in life is the following. I grew up with a lot of social anxiety. I wasn’t the friendliest person. I wasn’t an asshole or mean, I was just very aloof. To this day I still have trouble interacting with people. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m the issue or if people are reacting in ways that are just inappropriate. Maybe a combination. Since I’m not overly social in places like work environments people can get suspicious of me. I also generally don’t like becoming friendly with anyone because when I bond with people I have a tendency to trust them to a fault. And I’ve seen too many people thrown under the bus or gossip or backstabbing or whatever and I just don’t want any part of that.
I’m different and not “normal”. I get very polarized reactions from people. As much as I would like to not give a fuck what people think, I’m not there yet and it’s just stressful navigating situations where you’re entirely yourself and just get shit for it. I fully recognize I have to grow and yeah maybe I do seem like a target, but it just fucking sucks. Makes me not want to deal with people at all and I know that’s not the answer because that’s running away.
2 Likes
I love this. The way I look at it, all the subs do is make our work more effective. We should even give ourselves credit for searching the self development world until we found something that worked. I don’t know about you, but that took me quite a while.
2 Likes
Oh yeah. Even without the subs, from where I was and where I am now I never give myself enough credit. It’s a really important lesson
I feel you on that. Occasionally I think back to where I was four, ten, twenty years ago, and I’m amazed. I don’t usually notice because the changes were gradual and I was in the story every second of it.
1 Like
I’m gonna keep journaling today because I feel like DR is actually sending me through a grieving process.
I remember being in high school and every year I told myself it would be different. I’d make friends, I’d pay attention more in class, I’d talk to the cute girl I had a crush on, I’d get better at skateboarding. Nothing ever happened, nothing ever changed. It was just a fucked up purgatory of constant failure and trying. I’ve lost out on a lot of my life, that’s not even an exaggeration. It’s a painful thing, knowing I can’t get those years back. I can sit here and tell myself the past is the past, but I’d be lying to myself. The past isn’t the past because it still haunts me every day
And a lot of people want to say that hardship like that teaches some kind of lesson. I don’t want to be pessimistic, but I don’t think it did for me. I was just dysfunctional and nobody really saw it, so I just proceeded to screw up my life and have that snowball into adulthood. And here I am picking up the pieces.
I’m all for being positive, but I can’t sit here and lie to myself that those years held some hidden value. If I did that I’d be glossing over the pain, frustration, and regret I’ve lived with. And to really move on I have to acknowledge it’s there and heal from it. I won’t get that by trying to twist it into some positive spin. What happened sucked, but it happened and I need to move on from it.
I feel like a loser and I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I’ve spent most of my life just trying to escape that feeling and it hasn’t worked. There’s some deep core identity level issues that keep me anchored into the same destructive behavior and stuck moments I get. I don’t know what it’s gonna take to change that, maybe personal success defined by myself that fulfills me in some way. Some kind of moment when I see my life isn’t like a runaway train heading off the tracks. But at this moment in time if I’m honest, all I ever feel like is a constant cycle of trying and failing to improve myself which unearths old wounds that make me feel like absolute shit.
1 Like
I think for the first time in my life I’ve realized just because something doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean I’m not trying hard enough. There’s a lot of assumptions that are made about life through people’s own subjective experiences. When you grow up with a more challenging set of circumstances you’re going to be misunderstood in life, that’s just a fact. More so if your problems don’t exist out in the real world and are exclusively mental. So you need to learn to brush off the ignorant opinions and assumptions of other people. If you don’t they can fuel any insecurity that just keeps tearing you down.
I think the thing that pisses me off with some people is them being blind to the fact that they’ve been fortunate in life and not all their success is due to hard work. Do some of them work hard? I’m sure they do, but nothing makes me more irritated than some individual getting up on their soapbox and claiming it’s a character defect in other people when they have a hard time in life.
2 Likes
I was reading your above 2 entries.
I’m wondering if you’re still running DR and if you have been taking any rest days.
I sympathize with feeling like
This is where I decided to get more sleep and use a custom healing booster with Elixir in it.
I’m also starting to listen to DR less.
What are your thoughts?
1 Like
Yup still sticking to DR, but I haven’t run it this week yet.
I’m slowing down the pace on it. I’ve been beating myself up for not changing fast enough or getting my shit together which has caused more stress for me.
I think I’ve got some unresolved childhood trauma. Despite living a life that was in no means abusive or traumatic, I do feel due to my overall sensitivity I was impacted more by minor things. Emotional neglect being a big one. My mom had her own issues and she was frequently there but not emotionally there due to her being overwhelmed and shutting down.
I’ve always brushed this off as weakness or a flaw in my character. Like people are growing up in homes where they get beaten and here I am rattled from a mom that wasn’t there enough. I’ve always felt pathetic for it, but that didn’t make it go away. It is what it is at this point. My experiences, beliefs, and emotions as a kid weren’t controlled by me and it’s unfortunate I’ve been impacted so much despite it seeming minor. But if I don’t learn how to work in a safe and non threatening way to heal from all this I’m just going to be chasing my tail.
1 Like
I’ve been following your journal and TBH I think you are on the right track. What I mean is you are persisting and getting gradual payoffs such as insights and changes.
I’ve given up reason and logic when it comes to the unconscious. I have no idea what is going on in mine. I just pick 1 action and do it.
If I think I’m worthless, I do 1 thing nice for myself to send a message to myself that I am worth something.
If someone yells at me or scowls, I take a minute to review the situation from several perspectives.
Often when it comes to my healing, I don’t know what I’m doing. I used to think I knew. I’d read. Go to seminars. Get home study courses. I did all the things I thought would help.
But with subliminals I’ve made the most progress, yet I’ve no idea consciously what I’m doing.
2 Likes
Thanks. Yeah I agree. It’s a lot of ups and downs, but I’m growing. With this most recent insight I’ve realized a lot of my frustrations was due to not working within my means. Always trying to bulldoze through everything.
You and me both. But it’s good for me. Often I’d read those courses or books and feel upset when it didn’t work or I didn’t change. A lot of self help definitely kicked me while I was down in the past. Learning how to trust my own healing process and take care of my own needs on an emotional level is infinitely more valuable than something I can learn from a book. DR definitely gives experiential knowledge which is what I’ve lacked. As insightful as I am about myself I’ve found my actual relationship with my emotional states is very underdeveloped and lacking. It’s an odd thing having a logical framework for everything and then your subconscious just runs off on wild emotional rides that you’re witness to.
Ran my loop of dr on Tues because I felt like trash Monday. Currently going through some heavy emotional clearing. The best way I can describe it, it’s like having that feeling of wanting everything to be alright but you’re not settled in any way.
Everyone always says get a stable career, socialize, get into hobbies, etc. I mean it helps your life, but it’s not the solution. I’m figuring things out my own way. Still don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. I’d just rather feel good about myself and my life before making decisions like that, otherwise it just becomes an obligation vs a genuine focus.
1 Like
Had a dream I was responding well to QV2 and I was supposed to run it every day. What the hell. Is that what I want? Or deep insight from my subconscious?
Is it possible not enough listening can equally bring on bad reconciliation for me? Maybe rest isn’t the answer. Kind of annoying I haven’t figured out how to run this.
1 Like
For the most part, I’m still running the same programs that I’ve been running for quite some time. But next month, I’ll be joining you in the land of QV2 and I’m really looking forward to it.
It is still basically brand-new. Give yourself some time. Some of the people who reported intense responses 2 weeks ago, seem to be finding that they’re now adjusting to it and able to play it in a more usual way.
You seem to be very responsive so it’s possible that the same process may stretch a little longer. Like getting used to a sports car with a very sensitive gas pedal or something. (The sports car in that metaphor represents your brain.)
What do your gut/intuition tell you when you ask them directly?
2 Likes
Thanks. It’s telling me to not stick to a rigid schedule and to be more flexible with listening. So basically taking it day by day and only listening if I feel I’ve processed things and won’t be overwhelming myself with more.
1 Like
Definitely. It’s like drinking water. Don’t force yourself to drink the recommended 8 cups of water a day if your body says no. And by all means drink more if you need to. Subs are like that. Listen to your body/mind.
2 Likes
Honesty post time.
I’ve been really obsessed over listening to DR the “right” way. Whatever that is. And I think this importance is placed on it because I’m unhappy with my life.
Having said that I think for a while now I’ve been going at this alone for too long. I’ve already got my psychiatrist appointment coming up that I’m hoping is a step in the right direction for me.
But my insistence on fixing everything in my life by using subliminals even before subclub has always been a mistake of mine. They aren’t the cure all for everything. And truthfully my life has always been a mess. I should have gotten help years ago.
So what I’m rambling about here. I have to stop being so desperate for these subliminals to help me out because despite what they can do it’s still me and my brain. And if I can’t take actionable steps on my own, then it’s important I find someone that can help me do that.
2 Likes
smart as always.
and for what it’s worth, this perspective itself seems like a very organic part of your healing and growth journey.
1 Like