Dragon Reborn A New Life

I’m sick of the grind. Sick of the struggle. Sick of budgeting money as if Im 2 steps away from being homeless and living in fear. Sick of people painting all rich people as inherently evil. Sick of me telling myself I don’t need to be wealthy.

Im just tired of this being the reality. I don’t like spending my life working for someone else and trying to convince myself every day that it’s ok. You know just because I’m not on the streets, dying of hunger, or in a really bad place in life doesn’t mean I can’t be miserable. There’s a certain existential pain that comes with being handcuffed to a job that keeps your head above water just enough where you’re not in poverty but you’re also not making enough to feel like you have freedom. It’s bullshit and I’ve had enough of it.

Once DR is done I’m thinking about going back to my first custom. I don’t want to improve my life within the realms of what I currently think is possible. I want to flip it on its head. I want to completely redefine it and live a life that is so different from everything I’ve experienced up until now. My first custom was dense as hell, but it was formulated with a focus on completely leaving behind my former life. I just don’t know if it was too much or not.

Will have to see where I’m at with the end of this. Maybe my Fidelity custom would be plenty as well. I built that one because it’s more focused. I just want to break free from all this shit. I’ve been trying to improve for years and get to the point where I can take my feelings, my beliefs, my desires and manifest them in the world and to stop being rattled by other people and the limiting beliefs they want to hurl at you. I want to live a different life

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I’ve wondered if DR has been stripping away my version of reality bit by bit… and then more and more and more.

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Reality really is all about your belief. Most of us don’t get to choose. Fears, doubts, limitations all past down through bloodlines in a family. The opposite is also true, wealth, success, and confidence. I see DR as a way to escape that and decide what you really want. It’s inevitable as things are removed it starts to seem like reality is being stripped away.

If you think about it how can you actually know what reality is for you personally if you’ve been programmed to think about it a certain way?

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This is profound.

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Notes for myself.

Life is not a battle. You shouldn’t be fighting for a better life. You shouldn’t be trying to push away undesirable circumstances. The more you focus and ruminate on what you don’t want, the less energy you have to focus in what you do want. This isn’t brute force positive thinking. This isn’t muscling thing into existence. This is a redirection of energy, smooth, efficient, and as natural as possible. This is learning to cultivate a muscle that’s been dormant for a while now

Please read this?

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Wow man seriously inspiring stuff. I’m so happy you’re achieving the growth you desire. I’ll keep pushing forward with DR.

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Not sure how inspiring it is but thank you. Its definitely a huge change and it feels like only the beginning. I easily see myself going into Stage Four of Dragon Reborn an entirely different person. It’s already happening as I have been experiencing a huge disconnect lately from so many things but specifically who I was prior to Dragon Reborn .
@SaintSovereign & @Fire weren’t exaggerating when the said in the sales page that Dragon Reborn will be your best friend , your worst enemy, and your greatest advisor.
As I was telling @Hoppa earlier I don’t feel a need any longer to look outside myself for validation. I’m ok with not fitting in or being a part of whatever. I would rather do my own thing .

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Hell yeah man it is inspiring. To go through all that and come out the other side a better person. Those are the things that always inspire me from others. Overcoming hardships, improving oneself, changing life for the better. It just shows inner strength.

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Well this is a load of BS. This is my pseudo zen states I get in. The ones that have caused me headaches for years because I refuse to acknowledge emotions. What am I afraid of feeling? Or moreso why am I afraid of being anything less than 100% put together? I keep waiting for this fictional state of completion. That’s been my whole life. I’m beginning to realize it’s really just a projection of my deepest insecurities out into the future. Like one day I’ll be this, so I don’t have to concern myself with what’s actually going on in my own mind. But what’s currently going on IS me. It’s always been me. That future projected self is just a desire to escape pain or things I’m uncomfortable with.

Having said that I stumbled across a marketing course for music licensing and building passive income through music. It made me think about what Saint said about pathways to manifestation. My first step is just reading the course and learning more about it, then I’ll go from there. It’s hard for me. I’ve never actually followed through with monetizing my music in some way. I always thought “what if it’s terrible and soul sucking? What if I’m making music for the soulless corporate entities or media I’ve grown to despise?” And then I realized I’m just afraid. I don’t actually know what the outcome would be like. And if I never even attempt it, I’ll really never know. It’s funny because someone commented on the guys beat and was like “tbh that beat is trash though” and the guy was like “well just goes to show you even trash can make you money”. I thought to myself damn, what an interesting way to look at it. And I need to start doing that. Stop thinking everything I make has to be a masterpiece and is a reflection of my worth. Vanity and validation seeking kills music because too much ego kills music.

And then of course there’s the doubts. I can’t play an instrument. I barely finish songs as is. I’m insanely self critical of my own work. I think it needs to be 100% or it’s nothing. I think I have to be amazing at what I do for people to even begin to even glance my way. There are people out there doing what they love and having fun and getting paid and they don’t give a shit how good they are. Yet here I am beating myself up every day because I feel nothing I do is ever good enough. Am I jealous? Yeah and to be honest I get angry because I can’t be like that.

Sort of related I finally switched my DAW. I’ve been using the one I use, Reaper, for years now. And I never felt like it “worked” for me. There’s all this customization you can do, but I never followed through. Felt like a fucking idiot with everyone else on forums and stuff saying how powerful it was. I never left because 1. I felt like I’d miss out and 2. I felt like I was a failure in some way for not getting it to work for me. But I finally bit the bullet and made the switch yesterday. New one is very intuitive, it feels nicer, looks nicer, overall I don’t feel as stressed using it. I just wish I switched sooner vs blaming myself for not trying hard enough to get something to work. You can have all the tools and options in the world, but it’s pointless if it doesn’t aid you in doing what you actually want to do. And in my case too many options and too much of me needing to invest time and energy into setup results in disaster when all I want is something to get my ideas out as quickly and efficiently as possible. Not how “powerful”.

Welcome to the insight accompanied by the temporarily self-loathing that DR can bring on.

Hang in there. You can always take another rest day or reduce the loops. Relief should be imminent.

If possible, you could try a chaser of Sanguine.

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Thanks. I’m actually on one of my two rest days at the moment. Seems like the rest days are the days that actually hit me the hardest. So I’ll see how I’m feeling tomorrow. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when I need to keep pushing vs take a step back. I’ve actually been listening to SanguineU almost every day during the week, usually in the afternoon. It’s been helping.

One thing good that happened this weekend, I seem to have gotten better with my limb independence on drums. So I can somewhat play along to songs now. And it’s meditative in a way. Drums are cool because you just lock in a groove and run with it. I’m actually looking forward to adding this to my music production workflow. Making some indie/shoegaze music down the road.

Sort of brings me to another point. Very often when I go to do something in life I immediately have the thought that someone else already did it better so why should I even bother? I gave up on guitar when I was younger because my older brother picked it up and progressed faster than me. I need to learn how to value the experience of doing things, regardless of how good it is. If I’m always focusing on comparing myself to everyone else around me with my skills and accomplishments I’m always going to be miserable. The “I need to be the best at this” is incredibly toxic. Music should be about enjoyment for me, not being really good at it. I put an unnecessary amount of pressure on myself and cause creative anxiety that blocks my writing ability and makes me dislike writing music.

I’m going to be switching over to beyond limitless ulitma and running that every other day moving forward. I have so much I want to do but I never get around to it. And it mostly stems from lack of belief in myself that I can learn something. I want to learn piano, guitar, drums, more music theory, more compositional structure, learn more about making money off of music I write, more sound design, and more efficient workflow in this new DAW, It’s a lot, but I’m tired of feeling like I’ll never get to any of it. Coming home from work exhausted and then feeling upset that my day job robbed me of the energy to do what I really want with my life. I don’t think it’s the fact I’m too tired to physically do something. It’s more likely my job burns up my willpower and when I get home I don’t have the means to overriding the usual limiting thoughts I have about learning new things in general. I’m hoping with beyond limitless ultima I can start moving in a direction where every day I grow more in a skill I want vs feeling crushed under the weight of it all.

To clarify, not stopping DR. I’m swapping out SanguineU

I think DR is working well for you! Keep posting!

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3 of my servers at my job have been acting up and causing chaos. Listened to beyond limitless Ultima yesterday while at work. Heavy reconciliation, not only did I not fix the problem but I was so overwhelmed because of the combination of DR I fell asleep at my desk. Hopefully I find out what’s causing the issue today as Beyond limitless Ultima kicks in. It’s usually the next day where things really start having an effect with Ultima for me.

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I find things like this happen with me on DR just before a HUGE insight shows up.

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Good to know thanks. I’m taking a rest day today to process what was brought up yesterday. I’m getting better at gauging how much I can handle and how it fluctuates day to day. I think I just come from a long history of subliminal usage where hammering in the hours is important and we’re at a point now where these things might not require that consistent usage every day.

Yep!:sunglasses:

Can’t tell if this is DR or something else. My brain is just not working this week. Simple problems are taking a while to solve, I’m getting frustrated that I can’t complete stuff, and I can’t tie concepts together in my head. It’s like it pools up in there but the anchors that help me make sense of anything or integrate it are gone.

It’s hard because the more this throws me off the more I have to overextend myself with my job and I can feel the fatigue setting in.

I can’t take it easy, at this point taking it easy at my job would amount to sitting there staring off into space at a blank wall. That’s how much basic tasks are fucking with me right now.

I’ve noticed this at times and this is my guess as to what I think happens. The subconscious is busy processing and integrating my subliminal right now. It’s very busy. It’s so busy, I feel a bit tired. Thinking is probably partial a subconscious process. If my subconscious is prioritizing the subliminal, thinking about something as simple as “where do I want to go for lunch” or “how can I best organize my week” might take extra time for me to answer.

I take rest days, and listen to fewer loops.

Just to reassure you, it is highly unlikely you are “losing your mind”…

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