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Something is different today. Or more accurately I’ve noticed a difference that has probably been building for a while.
That is that I have a sense of surety that when I say I’m going to make something happen, it’s going to happen.
I don’t know, there is just a steel behind my thoughts that wasn’t there before. A sense that yes, this is in my control and it is possible if I make it possible. -
I noticed several women in the gym today. I tried to see if they noticed me, and as far as I could tell, I was invisible. An effect I’ve noticed before. In that context that’s fine by me, I’m there to workout, but I’m hoping to see some of that crazy random attraction that others have described with Primal.
Also, I’ve only been running it for a week.
- I did it. I did every workout I was supposed to this week.
That might not sound like much to some, but I’ve always had trouble with consistency on that, especially recently with little time in my schedule.
Hell, I didn’t even get a perfect week last year running Spartan and as soon as I dropped it, I just couldn’t seem to drag my ass in anymore.
Not this time. It didn’t seem like an effort and there wasn’t any internal struggle. I just did it.
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OH look. They’re dropping stuff to tempt me off my current stack just before my washout ends.
We’ll have to see. I suspect that there’s some kind of manifestation monster in there. That might just do it, and I wonder what Primal Night is.
Other than that, I’m getting such great results from NE that it would be very hard to get me to change at least that part of it. -
I’ve been thinking. This seems to be doing just what I want it to.
That is it’s helping me become the guy I was always supposed to be.
For a long time I periodically get the sense that I am not living the life I am supposed to be living.
It’s hard to put into words. Kind of like at some point in the past I’ve made a wrong turn and gotten off of the storyline that I am supposed to be a part of. Or perhaps I’ve been knocked off of that story line. Now I’m kind of lost. Wandering around in a pointless limbo without a purpose.
In the last couple of days I’ve been getting the impression that I am drawing closer to the story I am supposed to be in again.
- I woke up kinda sore, feeling low energy, and in a bad mood this afternoon.
It’s my first day off working out today and I’m off work so I think my mind just knows that it’s ok to power down and recover a bit.
Unfortunately I woke up to the kid being endlessly loud so that didn’t do anything nice for my mood.
Maybe a little recon thrown in. Not a big deal.
- I noticed something when I looked in the mirror.
I no longer look like I have a gut when viewed from the front. I’m actually starting to look nicely V tapered.
I still stick out when looked at from the side, but that’ll go away in time too.
**1/15/24 CYCLE 1 WEEK 4**
**WASHOUT WEEK #1**
- I missed my workout today because the gym was closed for the holiday.
I did some extra cleaning tasks to make up for it, and I’ll work out on Saturday.
It’s kind of surprising when I realize how much I’ve gotten done on cleaning the house in the last few weeks. Just doing it little by little.
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I got up and back into the gym this afternoon just like I have been.
There has been absolutely no temptation to “just skip today and get some extra rest” or anything like that like I had even while running fucking Spartan last year. Even when I’m sore, tired, stressed, it doesn’t matter.
Get up right when my alarm goes off if not before, read 5-10 pages of something self improving and educational, drive to the gym and crush it. It’s just what I do now. -
I had more involved conversations with the girl I mentioned who works the gym desk.
I’m not really sure if I am the one who extended it or if it was her. I intended to extend it, but I think all I did was ask her how it was going, and the rest seemed to just happen.
She was making eye contact, but glancing away. I think that means I make her nervous, and she seems to be the shy type, so that’s probably a good sign.
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I forgot to set my alarm and got up an hour late this afternoon.
Guess what, I hit the gym anyway. -
I seem to be sort of unconsciously sore of consciously reducing the amount I’m eating. I’m having much more controlled portions. I just naturally started doing that without thinking much about it.
- This run is very different from DE1. On that one I didn’t see much in the way of blatant results from Emperor and DR spoke very loudly.
It seems to be the other way around with DE2. I’m getting very obvious Emperor effects left and right, and DRP seems to be doing what it’s doing largely behind the scenes.
It’s doing something. I’m less stressed, less fearful, more optimistic, and am generally developing a can do attitude. But there is very little of the deep diving into my past to figure out why I am the way I am that characterized DR.
It’s allowing me to move forward while it quietly fixes whatever needs to be fixed.
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The new releases have promise. For later though.
Stark Black may well make an appearance in my stack next year.
Not this year though. This year I’m building the foundation of the life I want to live with the habits, the financial improvements, and general attitude shifts and discipline that I’ll need to go further. One step at a time.
One of the next things I’m going to have to deal with is the fact that I’m just plain not very social and I tend to avoid attention. I really don’t know that I can get anywhere I want to go with that being the case. So at some point getting some level of fame, at least within certain circles would be necessary.
But, that is next year’s problem. -
It’s tempting to try Primal Nights, or maybe make a Primal/Primal Nights custom, but I think that what I should be doing is either continuing with Primal or adding momentum to my new fitness journey with LOTS or perhaps Spartan.
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It’s going to be LOTS. I have focused on fitness as one of the things that I have current direct control over and so I’m going to fully commit to getting the needle moved as far as that goes.
Having a physique that I can really be proud of will help me with my sexual and romantic goals, let me really see the results of sustained hard effort in a way that I’ve never let happen before, and perhaps help with my career goals. Also, a commitment to strength and fitness is definitely an example I’d like to set for my son. Especially in a world where traditional masculinity is not valued like it should be.
In short, it’s part of the foundation I’m building this year. -
Hmmmm, I wonder if my subconscious is actually gearing me up for making another run at an LE career.
The focus on fitness points to that. I have avoided job postings that had certain types of physical agility tests, and I think that the sloppy gut I’ve had all of my life has hindered me in interviews. It may even have lead me to not be selected when my performance on the interview should have gotten me there.
Interesting development that. -
Also, I have a feeling that the first half or so of this year isn’t going to present me any more sexual opportunities than I’ve been getting before this, so running any kind of seduction program would be rather frustrating.
This gets me every time I’m running something or planning it. I come back to what I SHOULD be doing, and sometimes feel guilty (wtf) if I don’t have certain types of titles in there.
I’m really having to force myself to prioritize. It’s hard with all of the awesome stuff they keep coming out with. Plus, I’m keeping my stack to two programs.
I’m doing 4 at the moment. In a novel (I think) fashion of shorter loops. I can still feel them working. Halfway through my current cycle. I’ll probably drop down to 3 next go-round though.
I think that I have lower limitations on how much I can do at a time than you do.
The two title limit is self imposed, but I think there for good reason. At least in my case.
What are you running at the moment?
Primal, Ascension, IrresistiBILL (S&SX/BDLM custom), Heartsong
it’s an ever-changing rotation each listen day.
7 mins
5 mins
3 mins
30 seconds
The rotation part is that the actual titles rotate through as to which is which length on any given day. so by the end of the cycle, I’ve heard each title at each length 3 times.
And it’s only 15.5 mins total each sub day.
How’s it working? Personally, it’s not how I’d do things. Focus works best for me.
Seems ok so far. I’m feeling more centered, upbeat, and feeling sexier for the most part.
- Now that I’m thinking about it, I think I need to be planning this way. At least for a while.
My next steps should be things that help with the most goals at once. Most bang for the buck.
Once a layer of foundation has been established, then I can build more specialized layers on top of it, and run subs for more specific goals.
DE pretty much has a bit of everything that I’m looking for. Money, fitness, romance, attitude, determination, discipline, organization. Plus the elimination of blocks from DRP.
That’s my cornerstone for the year, and it’ll be staying until 12/23/24. At least the Emperor part.
Now LOTS will support both the romantic/sexual goals, and the career aspirations.
After that is at an acceptable level, I can take either the romance, career, or the money branch and work on that.
Let me know how it goes.
I think I tend to do better with more exposure than most both in terms of listening time and time on a program.