Me too. It’ll be a while before I can jump on it.
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5/13/24 CYCLE 6 WEEK 1
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While there has been a lot of stress in my life the last couple weeks, I have some good news.
We are actually doing considerably better at this point in the month than my budget planning app thinks we should be.
That means that if we keep things on track, we won’t have to worry about the goddamn bank fees that kept throwing us off from the beginning, and we will have plenty of money going into next month so that continues being true.
This is awesome even though it took a couple of months to get to this point. -
This is the last cycle of DE2.0 and I will definitely be starting with 2.1 as discussed beginning cycle 7 and running that throughout the back half of the year.
I’m very much looking forward to seeing what the new Limitless has in store for me.
I’ll start buying modules when I get paid on the 21st, and I should definitely be able to get built by the start date of cycle 7.
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- As I get close to the halfway point, I’m starting to think about plans for next year as I often do.
I think that a big part of why I haven’t been as successful as I’d like in any aspect of my life is that I’m either energetically blocked, or producing a sub par amount of vital energy in the first place.
I don’t know why, it’s always seemed to me that I lack a certain “force” to my will. Like I should be able to eh, push myself, or reality, or whatever, harder.
I often just kind of feel dead inside, like a light bulb that isn’t getting enough voltage to really glow. It affects me, and how people perceive me. It probably accounts for the fact that I often feel invisible.
The solution here would be a year long run of Khan Black. Just like I did DR three months per stage. I’ll probably go with emperor as a second core again, and one other program switched out as I see fit.
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- At some point in the fairly recent past I was a part of a conversation on the forum where we were talking about how other sub companies had a simple confidence booster as their kind of entry level product.
Saint said that SubClub didn’t go for such simplistic products, but I suggested that maybe they SHOULD have a simpler line as well as what they have. It would allow them to directly demonstrate how much better their programs are in a head to head comparison.
It just occurred to me now as I reread the Limitless description that maybe it wouldn’t have to be so simplistic.
I think that they should look at doing it along the same lines. Where Limitless hits every type of intelligence, maybe they could do a confidence program that took the same multi faceted approach to confidence.
When I get up I might suggest this.
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**5/20/24 CYCLE 6 WEEK 2**
- I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I’ve been feeling listless for the past few months. Years maybe.
The answer is that I need something to strive for. Some goal to always have my sights on.
Since I gave up on getting into the career field that I tried to for so long, I’ve had nothing to set my sights on other than just being in survival mode.
This is not good for me.
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- Dragon Emperor 2.1 has been ordered. Here’s the final modules.
- Emperor Core
- Limitless Core
- S Breath of Storms
- S master of the world
- S Divine dominion
- S Winner overdrive
- S Machine totality
- S Golden one
- Organization Perfected
- Purity Without
- Immortal’s Blade
- Fortune’s Favorite
- Key to the courts
- Fusion Optimized
- Job Seeker
- Debt Annihilator
- Stress displacement
- Stonelike
- S At the top
- Mosaic
That’s what I’ll be running through the end of the year. I think I’ll at least start the next cycle with that one solo. I may or may not add FP2 back in at some point. This one should really have ll I need in it though.
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Deep down, do you think you deserve a goal?
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I don’t think in those terms. I think a lot more in terms of am I capable of getting something than whether or not I deserve it. Deserving something is subjective and doesn’t have much to do with results in the real world.
Of course I’m capable of having a goal. I just don’t know what that is yet.
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- Now, what am I expecting from adding in Limitless?
A couple of things. First, the creativity and thinking ability to be able to find a way forward from the plateau my life has been in for the last five or so years.
I know that it is time for a new direction professionally and maybe in a few other ways, but I’m making very good money for what I do, and going higher with the qualifications and skill set that I have is difficult. I will have to switch fields probably, and I don’t know what to look into switching to.
Second. Competence. It might be better to say confidence in my competence, because when I really think about it, I’m already a very competent person.
It’s just that I often don’t think of myself that way. In the past, I’ve often thought of myself as incompetent and therefore my efforts at doing anything were very hesitant, and nervousness caused me to make the very mistakes I feared.
It also caused me to appear even MORE incompetent to an outside observer. This happened in all categories. Social, academic, physical activities, everything.
It’s gotten much better over the time I’ve been running subs, but I think that Limitless could fully reverse it and make me feel and therefore be and appear super competent even at new tasks.
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**5/27/24 CYCLE 6 WEEK 3**
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I got DE 2.1 this morning. I am very tempted to switch now and run it tonight rather than finishing out the last active week of the cycle with 2.0 and doing my washout as planned.
There might be some advantage to doing a week on a new program before a washout, I don’t know. -
I am getting good results from FP2. We will be ending the month with a considerable amount of money when we began it with practically nothing left over from April.
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My employer made a huge mistake with my vacation time accrual last year. I don’t know yet, but it looks like I’m going to be getting a fairly large extra payout in the near future.
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- Ok, I can’t resist. Tonight’s loops are going to be a six minute loop of DE 2.1.
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- Just completed loop 1. I actually felt really good during the loop. Kind of a light, happy feeling rose from the pit of my stomach, and I was spontaneously smiling.
I have a really good feeling about this one.
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- I didn’t notice anything extreme today until I thought about it. My mind is clearer. It’s both hard to describe and hard to notice. It seems really normal, and I don’t think that I’m aware of the extent of it right now.
I didn’t do anything really involved today, but the simple tasks that I did, like cooking dinner and doing my beginning of shift paperwork seemed a bit easier. Maybe I’m focusing on what I’m doing better.
I’m usually kind of distractible, and often lose focus on my routine shift paperwork several times. It’s not a big problem, but it was absent tonight.
I’m also feeling more optimistic about the future. I got rid of the tendency I had to spontaneously vividly visualize negative outcomes a few programs ago, but I didn’t have natural visions of success either. It was just kind of blank.
That seems to have changed today
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I have a weird dichotomy going on. I feel like something is definitely going on, but it also feels perfectly normal. Hard to describe.
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I’ve been thinking that maybe my way forward includes finishing my degree. I have quite a start on it. I don’t know what I’ll be majoring in though. I’ll have to do some research on what would be the most lucrative.
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We have a result. Tonight I was able to read and listen to music at the same time without being overloaded enough to get annoyed and turn it off.
I could do both at the same time of course, but it kind of challenged my bandwidth enough to make me just a bit uncomfortable. So I chose not to.
Tonight, no problem at all. -
I had some unexplained anger tonight, which hasn’t happened to me in a long time. Not to this extent anyway.
It’s something that I’ve had happen all my life, but lately, it’s a recon sign. It didn’t last long.
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- I have been feeling a lot calmer today. I had to drive in to work along a road that at the time I go in seems to aim directly at the sun. I couldn’t see well. Normally that stresses me out. Not today, I was perfectly calm and just did it.
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- I wound up doing a seven minute loop tonight. I don’t feel any overload or blatant recon.
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This latest custom seems to be shaping up really well for you so far!
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It feels really good anyway. I’m feeling a lot more positive.
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- I’ve been thinking of next steps to getting into the life I want. I’m not going to be taking them yet. I’m probably going to be on DE 2.1 and FP2 for the rest of the year.
I think that after I’ve gotten things stabilized though I’m going to focus on enjoying life for a while.
It looks like a Daredevil/Primal custom might be helpful with that. I was reading about the fun scripting in Primal, and fun is definitely something I need more of. Added to the adventure scripting in Daredevil, I could really enjoy things after I have gotten my shit together at a stable baseline.
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