Discovering Myself

Journals - Major Programs
#12

Yesterday I had so much energy inside that I had the realization I could keep up with my work shift for another 10 hours or so, even though it was already late afternoon and I already did several hours.

There was a kind of tingling & pleasant sensation in my chest, around the heart which was reminiscent of a body orgasm.

It was a very pleasant experience overall & people picked up my positive attitude & energy.

Today it was pretty similar, but the energy level wasn’t as high as yesterday.

However I was leading the 2 courses in the morning with a lot of confidence & energy.

I don’t know if that’s the different bloom from all the titles I run the last week but I was feeling very different than usual.

Also I’m starting to shift slowly but surely the perception of my reality.

In other news, I had few other business ideas for some crazy alternative products, just for the fun aspect of it.

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#13

You don’t “discover” yourself.

You build yourself.

#14

Another thing I noticed is that the number of pretty girls in my gym are increasing lately.

When I was training today, a client pointed out the same observation I had so it’s not just my subjective perception, I guess.

I feel so calm, reassured, satisfied but ready to express a lot of energy at the same time. So much that yesterday another client told me that I looked like too relaxed.

Tomorrow it’s time for another ASBR (1 min) microloop.

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#15

To relaxed? The type of society we live in nowadays to say to sometbody that he’s to relaxed :joy:

#16

Yep…he told me I should join him to build some roads while adding I should be at least a little bit tense at work. He was joking btw However I guess there was an underlying envy in him.

To be fair we are spoiled to use these advanced Subs which give us an “unfair” advantage over everyone else who isn’t even active on his/her personal growth path

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#17

Early signs of ASBR working out for me:

  • Not bothered by attention & final claps to express appreciation for my course from a group of women (7 women during my short abdominal course) but enjoying it without shame
  • I’m catching more & more long stares from girls/women
  • I’m unconsciously playing out hot & cold behaviors (with girls I like too) because there’s this feeling of social abundance building up in me
  • I’m getting better at problem-solving small issues
  • I’m feeling a different & deeper inner strength than New Emperor which fits better
  • Random business ideas popping out during the day
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Main Disc. Thread -- A Stark Black Reality (Now Available!)
#18

Rough night with several heavy nightmares, so something very deep is getting worked on.

Then I run 1min ASBR loop first thing in the morning while I was still in bed.

After that it was time to wake up for real & start the day.

Even though I felt some bad mood there was an underlying (gentle but very persuasive) push to tackle things & do chores no matter what.

This thing is a procrastination destroyer in the making.

Let’s see what’s going to happen next…

#19

90s ASBR microloop done.

Yesterday I caught several walking people watching at me while I was driving + I had the urge to write in my phone the product concepts ideas I was thinking about.

Then, yesterday night I bought several Subs because I felt the urge to do it. However I played 30s LBfH by accident & I was too energized to fall asleep quickly.

Tonight I had a crazy dream in which I wasn’t able to stop ASBR at my target time (90s) & so there was this fear of doing something very dangerous. In fact I felt so strange during that dream to the point I felt I just ruined my life.

About the Subs buying spree, I have this idea to play them in different listening seasons.

A Stark Black Reality should be the permanent/long term sub for this year but I’ll supplement it (after doing it solo for 21 days) with specialization cycles.

So the various seasons would be, for example:

  1. Purpose with the following stack:
    ASBR + Genesis + RoM

  2. Energy with the following stacks:
    ASBR + KB1 + As Above So Below
    ASBR + KB2 + As Above So Below
    ASBR + KB3 + As Above So Below
    ASBR + KB4 + As Above So Below

  3. Manifesting with the following stacks:
    ASBR + ME + RoM
    ASBR + ME + R.I.C.H. (Money)
    ASBR + ME + IC (Relationships)
    ASBR + ME + Paragon/Paragon Sleep (Health)

  4. Money/Wealth with the following stacks:
    ASBR + EOG1 + R.I.C.H.
    ASBR + EOG2 + R.I.C.H.
    ASBR + EOG3 + R.I.C.H.
    ASBR + EOG4 + R.I.C.H.

  5. Sex & Seduction
    ASBR + Primal + PS
    ASBR + PS + PN
    ASBR + PN + SMX2
    ASBR + PN + Diamond

  6. Love with the following stacks:
    ASBR + PS + LB
    ASBR + HS + LB
    ASBR + HS + Divine Diamond

  7. Physical Shifting with the following stack:
    ASBR + LotS + BDLM

  8. Positive Masculinity with the following stack:
    ASBR + Chosen + GDLM

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#20

First half of the day was meh…:thinking: A lot of concurring & obsessive thoughts about which sub stack to use next & slightly low mood.

The second half something cleared up (common recurring theme: while I’m working at the gym) & I received some more compliments during my personal training sessions + several people greeting me with more positive energy than usual. (LBfH microloop doing its thing?) + several clients asking to book the next PT sessions & another unexpected session due in 45 minutes.

This should be the end of the current cycle while the upcoming one is ASBR for sure but I’m not sure in solo mode.

Also I was thinking about keeping ASBR +Mind’s Eye as fixed & then rotate all the other titles mentioned because I’m more & more inclined to become a master manifestor.

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#21

I’m pondering more & more about how to streamline my future stack/s to cover all the areas I want to work on without feeling that I’m missing something along the path.

This morning I thought that the classic Money/Relationship/Body & Health categories should be the core ones to focus on every single cycle.

So along those lines Monday should be related to Money/Wealth then Wednesday to Body/Health and then Relationships on Friday (to be ready for the weekend).

If I keep ASBR every single day on Monday I would listen to EOG + R.I.C.H., on Wednesday LotS+BDLM, and Friday Primal+Inner Circle (Cycle 1) / Primal + PS (Cycle 2) / Primal + HS (Cycle 3).

In that case, I would start with 5 min. loops for Mind’s Eye & the specialization titles (e.g. EOG + R.I.C.H.). and every week I would add 5 minutes until I’m fine with full loops.

Then if I can take the streamlining process even further (while keeping Mind’s Eye too boosting the manifestation process in different areas) I could listen to:

  • Monday: ASBR + ME + EOG (Cycle 1 to 4), R.I.C.H. (Cycle 5), EOG 4 (Cycle 6), R.I.C.H. (Cycle 7) & so on;
  • Wednesday: ASBR + ME + LotS (Cycle 1) / BDLM (Cycle 2) / LotS (Cycle 3) / BDLM (Cycle 4) & so on;
  • Friday: ASBR + ME + Primal (Cycle 1) / Inner Circle (Cycle 2) / Primal (Cycle 3) / PS (Cycle 4) / Primal (Cycle 5) / HS (Cycle 6) and then restart it
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#22

I couldn’t resist the urge to play ASBR full loop.

So far so calm & good after it.

While listening to it I’ve read once again the sales page & adding Wealth titles to the stack would be redundant since there’s the NWE. Also there’s the NRE & so the relationship side should be covered as well (maybe rotating HS & IC & PS shouldn’t be overkill though). So then only the physical shifting side is really missing & LotS + BDLM should do the trick.

But first, let’s see how ASBR manifests itself today though.

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#23

I’m not seeing a lot of benefits from ASBR to be honest. I know I didn’t run it enough but I expected some more effects if I compare it to others experiences on it.

At work I didn’t see any resemblance of fame/popularity/cognitive enhancement but just a continuation of previous experiences on the previous stack.

On my Instagram & Pinterest account I don’t see a spike in engagement like several others have reported.

It’s washout time though until Friday.

#24

Forget about washout time…Inspired by the promising results in the gym to overcome client’s DOMS, I just experimented with a 5-minute ASBR loop after dealing with intense recon the last hours and I feel already better.

So from now on, the listening time & pattern will be dictated by the amount or absence of recon I’m getting after 48 hours of the last loop I listened to.

So, No to low Recon after 48 Hours ===> I can listen to full loops again
Moderate to high Recon after 48 Hours ==> 5-minute loop

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#25

Genesis & RoM are still working secretly to show me where & how to take the next step while ASBR just
showed me that I’m not ready for it & especially a good fit for fixed archetypes like Stark, Emperor & Khan. So I’m ready to return to the drawing board & learn to master the basic social/romantic skills while discovering more my true career/business path & improving my body at the same time.

I’m craving titles with a free range of movement & free expression without too much seriousness like Primal & Genesis:Mogul because deep down (but also way up) I’m a Free Soul allergic to labels.

3 different areas to cover: Money/Relationships/Body for 3 different titles: Genesis:Mogul + Primal (to cycle with IC & HS) + LotS (to cycle with BDLM)

Let’s go back to the basics…Let’s go to Genesis of the Primal Spartan Mogul

EDIT: this was an experimental cycle & in the next one I’m going to stick it until I’m satisfied with it & ready to, eventually, move on to something more advanced. Let’s take baby steps without rushing it & choosing the titles based on the popularity factor.

#26

I’m getting tired of playing it safe & going on with the same routine with wishful thinking embedded in it, hoping one day I’ll somehow make it.

ASBR is getting me into recon city just to prove a a truth I’ve been refused to seriously take into consideration: deep down I feel I deserve way & way more than just society’s standards way of living.

I just want to fulfill my deepest desires once & for all without keeping up with playing the “be satisfied” game.

Maybe something in that direction is starting to take shape…The only way out is leaving this comfortable way of living…

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#27

I’m feeling better now that the recon storm is over.

ASBR is without a doubt the toughest SC title I have ever run. It doesn’t care about your feelings at all & push you to face your weaknesses by bringing them up to the conscious level…now I understand why the sales copy says it’s not for the weak. The New Emperor experience was a walk in the park compared to this force of nature of a sub.

However I think that intense recon means it’s bridging the gap between your current self and your Stark Black version. I guess the gap isn’t short at all in my case & so building that long bridge requires a transitional phase.

I also understand why it says that you will embark in a transformative experience both mentally, physically & emotionally. It’s indeed a very transformation I’m going through.

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#28

To add something more anecdotal to the previous entry, working at the gym is an effective tool to overcome recon faster & easier.

Several clients were very warm & playful with me & they displayed more engagement than usual like there was a pulling force starting from my side. I also touch the clients more during our interactions without even thinking about it.

Some more clients called me “Boss” & even “Master” the last days.

I caught several glances & stares too both from girls/women & men.

My drive to reach my very ambitious goals is restarting to take some traction.

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#29

The proof ASBR is not working for me is the actual engagement I’m getting here on this forum: close to none. The fame script looks like it doesn’t exist in my experience.

At work today there was an episode which made me so vulnerable & sad that I don’t want to be there anymore. I just don’t want to suffer my way to success like I had to in the past.

Also my Social media presence isn’t getting better.

Maybe I need to drop this for good. I thought I was ready for it but I suffered enough in the past & it’s not worth it because it’s through positive experiences that I really grow. Bad experiences leave scars & wounds which you have to heal sooner or later. So there’s no ROI in bad experiences at all.

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#30

The title is huge. Your subsonscious likely needs to work on other things than fame and popularity right now.

Possibly there needs to be some “groundwork” done before the fame part can manifest.

I can’t “feel” the fame part either, but I definitely feel other parts of the sub very strongly. Just be patient :slight_smile:

#31

The problem is that I don’t feel smarter or more able to focus on a task, quite the opposite because in the last week I forgot several important items (which I usually remember to take with me) & my ability to focus on something got worse.

Also the relationships at work with the staff in the gym are deteriorating & I don’t feel as confident & as driven as I was on New Emperor. My mood is not as stable as the previous titles I run & I lost several potential personal training clients who contacted me for that service.

I feel way more vulnerable unfortunately & that’s not good when you want to take care of a gym environment.

My ability to control my thoughts & emotions is getting weaker too.

I cannot afford “things getting worse before getting better” kind of path.

Maybe I need to take another path & become a master manifestor without the subliminal help. I want only positive reinforcement, because I have already taken the “healing/shadow work” path & in my case it dug an even deeper hole to deal with.

Negative reinforcement makes more wounds to heal in a vicious eternal “healing” cycle.

I love myself so I don’t want to be a Martyr & suffer with the promise of some kind of uncertain future redemption.

EDIT: Today I forgot my cellphone at the gym once again after just 1 week it happened before. This thing needs to stop. This isn’t healing at all.