Detective L's Logbook

@Detective_L It really depends on your goals.

Get more clarity about them, and write them down (if you haven’t done so yet).

If you are confused & don’t really know which objectives to pursue, I suggest you run Genesis in solo mode for at least 1 cycle and then (if that cycle will not bring enough clarity) I would add RoM onto it and stack them together until there’s a clear picture on your mind about your ultimate goals.

Just my 2cents.

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I guess I will go with Genesis solo run then.

Day 1 - Listening (Genesis)
Tonight I started my solo Genesis journey. I am really excited for it to see what it does for me.

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Wish you success

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Thank you brother.

Good Luck! You’ll fall in love with Genesis :wink:

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Really looking forward to it :wink:

You will not be disappointed.

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Day 7 - Listening (Genesis)
I know I haven’t posted since the first day but that is because I didn’t know what counts as a result here.
So today was day 7 of my 1st genesis cycle, and I just had a realization that may be what I am doing, thinking and feeling this days might be because of Genesis.
First of all I have been feeling lovesick like really lovesick, which is…really weird because I am not romantically involved woth any woman right now nor do I have any woman for whom I have that kind of feelings for right now.
Second thing is that I have been binging 90’s music I grew up listening to a lot since past week. Which is yet again unusual because I don’t listen to that genre of music since I had a change of taste.
Third, I had a case of dysentry two days ago and I was also the only one at my house. I didn’t have the medicine required for it. So I just wished I had bananas(Eating a lot of Bananas helps in this case). Then the magic happened, our landlord brought me some bananas, my father when he came back in the evening brought bananas and my mother who was out of town too brought bananas when she was back. :joy: This was really insane.

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Genesis looks weird rn :joy:

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That’s right the results are all over the place and also makes you wonder as to whether they are results at all. :joy:

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Day 8 - Rest
I had a hit a hard recon today I guess. I went into a really depressive state about the fact that I feel directionless with my life. I cursed myself a lot. At one point I even wished I was some minor character in a high school romcom(main characters usually have some really stupid relationship problems that could be easily solved with communication but don’t) as everyone gets a happy ending in those things and always make all the right decisions when they are about to graduate from high school and also have figured out what to do with there lives.
After all this happened it dawned on me that I must be going through a really hard recon.

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Roads to success are never linear, but often times windy and full of ups and downs. Its important to keep perspective of your overall journey and how far you’ve climbed thus far.

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Day 9 - Listening (Genesis)
I just had a realization today that I am still the same as I was as a child. I was very angry as a kid, and I used to express this anger in appropriate and inappropriate ways. This used to lead to bad consequences obviously. I got a lot of beatings due to this “bad behaviour”. Overtime I had thought that I have mellowed down but no that is not the case. I am still as angry as I was. I just got better at hiding it and bottling it up.
Since childhood I have been told that I should be talking politely to everyone which is in itself not a bad thing. But wouldn’t a person expect the same politeness in return? That is what I too expect. But when I am talking to my parents they expect this politeness even when they are bloody angry. I had once lashed out to them saying, “I don’t remember making it my job to be polite all the time to everyone no matter what.” In case you didn’t guess it ended badly.
Over the years due to this one sided self centred behaviour of their’s I have went numb. I don’t feel emotions as intensely as a normal person would. I can’t express what I am thinking at any point properly. Because communication with my parents has been always one way. I have always been expected to f**king listen to all their shit and never make any say anything, never show any emotion, never even react. Like a machine. I realize that I have become a doormat after all this years.
And then this guys go and complain to everyone who listens about how I am a disappointment.

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Day 11 - Listening(Genesis)
I noticed this wonderful result I just had. First of all I want to admit this thing that whenever there’s a major change in life positive or negative that I am not use to, it scares me, sometimes to the point of making me cry.
I won’t go into the details as unfortunately this life changing event didn’t happen in the end, but this time around I didn’t feel scared. I mean while I was scared of this change in the uncertainity of will it or won’t it happen. After a while I got into a spirit of adventure and actually started looking forward to this. Which is quite new to me.
Alas life just doesn’t go your way sometimes. :slightly_frowning_face:

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Day 13 - Listening (Genesis)
I have noticed a change in my thinking pattern which kind of happened automatically. I ruminate a lot. Which is my mind would bring out some moment of life that I would today consider as a mistake, embarassing and such and then I would curse myself for doing this or thinking that etc.
Since the past two days whenever this has happened I have found myself telling that, “I was naive back then and me realising my mistake is my growth as a person. So isn’t it good?”

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Day 15 - Listening(Genesis)
I haven’t done my loops yet as I just woke up but I had two dreams today. In the first one there was a menacing man spider. The best way to describe him would be if Emperor Palpatine from star wars had been taller and had spider legs (like doc ock from spiderman) and was a cannibal. This man spider had an entire area in a secluded place all to himself. He made webs around the roads in that area in a way it would trap the victims. He liked to hunt for sport probably. Long story short, he killed me in the dream. But weirdly enough I didn’t feel scared when I woke up.
In the second dream I had after going to sleep again, I was went to the kitchen of my house. It was flooding. I got scared and shouted to tell others in the house. I got all of them out of the house and then I saw a big wave akin to what you would see in the Interstellar movie. It was right up the street and so there was no escaping it. Me and my family held hands with each other and grabbed onto something and waited for the impact. It happened. But after that when I opened my eyes we were still at the same spot. Curious I went to see what happened at the beach. The tsunami had only taken away a very old historical monument with it(Don’t ask me which one I don’t know, all I knew was that it is some old historical monument).

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I had a significant, transformational dream on Genesis too. It came the night of my first loop. Made a real impression.

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What did you dream about?

Day 21 - Listening(Genesis)
Today marks the end of my first Genesis cycle.

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