Death of the Boy, Birth of the Man

Journals - Major Programs
#19

Wanted Update

Just posting some observations and changes that I have noticed while running wanted, also note that I am entering my last week before a washout.

  • Definitely starting to lose body fat and lean out without losing muscle mass, in fact I noticed my chest and biceps have gotten bigger.

  • Started to get motivated to workout again.

  • Natural baseline muscular strength and endurance has gone up. As well as cardiovascular endurance.

  • More focus during workouts

  • Been thinking about growing out my beard again, but have continued to shave. Developed an ingrown hair and not shaving for the time being to let it heal properly, so let’s see where that goes lol.

  • Haven’t noticed too much of flirting from women, however women are a lot friendlier to me.

  • Took a week of from school for personal reasons, and when I returned at least four girls outside of my program asked me where I have been. They are seriously talking to someone however, or in a relationship, so no desire to pursue anything other than being platonic, but it was nice ngl to be missed haha.

  • Started to get more compliments on my looks

  • Starting to look a lot better in the face region as well.

  • Hair seems to be thicker

  • Apologize if this is TMI but Uber Jr seems to be stronger as well

  • So I am getting more compliments with the build of my body. So I am 5’7” and I finally started to accept that and it doesn’t bother me anymore in fact I actually joke about it now. Lol but I have always been very broad shouldered, big chested, if I have lost enough weight I do V out a bit, and I also have very big legs, tbh I never had to really put effort into my muscle mass. Also clarify that I do carry quite a bit of fat on me, so by no means am I super lean, I would say I look like an in shape power lifter, or a buff dadbod.

  • Got told that even though I am so short, my shoulders are more broad than a lot of people that are 6’4” or whatever.

  • Got told that my confidence, and super low voice makes up for my height, by a trusted friend.

  • Also a girl I’m friends with on Discord said. “You’re super built for a lil guy!”

  • Appetite has gone up but honestly not a whole lot. I am drinking more water however.

  • While I haven’t cleaned up my diet all that much I have greatly reduced my sugar/junk food intake. I would generally grab a candy bar every time I go out but only got one this week and only my one pint of ice cream I allow myself once a week.

  • Started to go out in nature a lot more in my free time, and my skin is taking to the sun nicely.

  • Even though I am trying to lose weight and improve my looks, I am starting to accept where I’m at now and still consider myself to be good looking and it’s only goin to get better as well, so I am more accepting of myself.

  • Killed my need for validation and need of attention from women, and even chilled out my desire for a GF. This has caused me to focus more so on my goals, self improvement etc. which in turn does make men more attractive to women.

  • Saved this one for last! A friend said this to me “You like to be a man of mystery don’t you?” I said “Yes” :joy: (That was after listening day 4)

To me I really love what Wanted has done for me so far on so many fronts already. I will also say that this has been the fastest Sub (for me) that I have used so far. Definitely planning on using this a good while.

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#20

So after spending some time thinking I decided to switch back to Emperor like my conscious was telling me to and it just felt right. Since I have some time with Emperor already, I have decided to make it a sub I will continue to listen to for at least 6 months. So I decided to make a custom Emperor which is my first custom as well! It arrived today and I am excited to listen to it when I get home. I have also decided to continue listening to Wanted zp as well

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#21

Regarding the 5 minutes instead of the full 15…This won’t limit results? What if there’s some scripting towards end of the sub that is important to their goal?

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#22

I will say I have had better results listening to 7 mins and had a better time with integration! I just recently went up to 10 mins and had fantastic results too! Which I am goin to continue to do and post my results in the future! As for the scripts I honestly could not answer that however while I dont know which topic its on but Saint did say something along the lines of listening to 7 mins has had a more positive yield to sub integration. Like I said dont truly quote me on that one lol but I have read it and its the reason why I tried that out.

If you’re thinking about doing it just give it a shot and see what happens for a few listening days or a cycle and journal and pay attention to how you feel.

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#23

That is a good question… for a support ticket :grin:

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#24

Check this out as well, you will find various users utilizing less listening times and some even using less listening days. Im not sure you will find various schedules but you can see what works for others.

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#25

1.Emperor Core
2. SPS: Endocrine
3. SPS: Muscular System
4. Prevent P.E.
5. Fearsome
6. Male Enhancement
7. Sultan
8. Mosaic
9. FEBRUUS
10. IQ and Cognitive
11. Productivity Unleashed
12. Lion IV
13. No Porn and Masturbation
14. Inner Gasoline
15. DEUS
16. Omnidimensional
17. Tyrant
18. Yggdrasil
19. Natural Winner
20 Carpe Diem

This is the custom btw. Basically my goal was to have modules that complimented Emperor with a little bit of emotional healing, esoteric, and manifestation modules. Didn’t go for any sex scripting since that is already in Emperor and I am currently running WANTED.

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#26

Speaking of WANTED the biggest surprise that WANTED gave me was on how much of my natural strength has gone up, as well as my endurance since starting it. For a sub that isn’t really a fitness sub it’s really helped me out with my fitness haha but honestly I guess I’m not surprised now that I truly think about it

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#27

So day one with this emperor custom (listened last night and went straight to bed) I had some major recon which I’m not surprised since it’s my first time listening to my first custom lol. I learned a lot about myself a trait that I always had my whole life.

I was trying to go on leave from school for about a month mainly to work full time to make money but I finally admitted to myself that I was just running away (still wanted to finish school) rather than finishing strong and just get it over with. I changed my mind on my request for leave and told them I will finish and figure my financial issues out. I’m going to finish strong and it’s time I grow up and end the running away when I’m tired.

After that I felt calm, very calm tbh it’s the most calm I have ever been in a long time. Like realizing that and immediately making the better choice just felt right. I also cleaned my room, like a deep clean for the first time and I enjoyed it and was able to focus for the first time in a long time on a task.

I see a lot of good things coming from this custom

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#28

Making this a separate post but WANTED has been healing me on a very deep level. It’s making love myself and also making me want myself. I have been trying to lose weight for a while and for the first time I am comfortable with where I’m at now. I am realizing that I still look attractive and as I lose weight I will just look more attractive. It’s also really killed my need for validation, while it is nice, at the end of the day I have me and that’s all that matters.

All I’m saying to anyone reading this if you have a hard time accepting and loving yourself to maybe give this a try, it could help you the way it’s helping me out.

#29

Hello
Very very informative journal, thank you
Please tell us more about WANTED+emperorZP’s gelling regarding social behavior and power

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#30

A lot had happened which is why I haven’t been posting on this journal and I also been wanting for the custom to do it’s thing for a bit and I started it out with Spartan mainly to help with recon and discipline plus I do enjoy running it for a cycle here and there. So the custom is going great I started to have all the effects of emperor as well as started to love life! I began studying more, my memory has improved as well as my learning capabilities!

Then last week happened, I won’t go into huge details but something occurred last week that made me finally and truly let go and move on from my Ex gf. So much emotion came out, I was angry, I cried for the first time in over a year and so much pain finally left. Afterwards I could literally feel my energy flowing much better and even one week later my mood continues to improve.

I will say this that last week when I was feeling all the emotions the phrase “No Limitations” kept playing on repeat lol this was while I was on washout so on the start of my new cycle I played my Emperor Custom and then Stark with no thought or hesitation, just did it haha

Now the fist time I played Emperor and Stark together almost two months ago well it kicked my ass haha but now with this custom and since I finally moved on from my Ex now Stark all of a sudden wants to work beautifully with me and Emperor haha.

My cognition has improved to the point at first I couldn’t fully keep up, people have been much more friendlier to me, women have started to be more attracted to me and flirtatious, more luck, smoother social interactions, etc. Literally everything I wanted out of a Stark Emperor combo, also I have stupid levels of energy and so much more productive. The combination between this Emperor Custom and Stark is just amazing.

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#31

To answer your question while I was running those two in tandem I was very passive with my flirting in terms of romance.

I let my tone of voice, the way looked at women, etc do the work for me. Also I had no care in the world for how women viewed me I would see women checking me out and most of the time I wouldn’t care, probably at the time WANTED was healing me with my neediness for validation from women.

In general it made me have the same feeling as Primal tbh in terms of not caring and saying what you want to say while being very masculine in the process. I was outgoing and introverted (which I am naturally) and most people would start convos with me both male and female. Also while I was running those two, I took a week off school to work a little extra and so many people commented on where I was all week :joy:

I will say WANTED can make you very closed off but in an outgoing way. Like if you don’t wanna share information you won’t haha but I was even more outgoing at the same time, a close friend did call me a man of mystery lol.

I will say this as well if you struggled with feeling wanted in your life like I have, people and even friends will begin to value you more than ever but while It is a nice feeling I was very humble about it, so it matured me as a man in the process.

While I am running my Emperor Custom and Stark for now I do intend to add WANTED back which will probably be the sub I listen to once a week

1 Like
#32

Emp ZP isn’t anti-social anymore. It’s fudging beautiful.

#33

Yeah I felt that immediatly with Emperor lol although I join during ZP days so I cant comment on Q or Qv2 but ZP does make me more social. Although its funny you brought this up because just the other day I imagined this kind of convo and my response was something along the lines of this:

“While I will say that the Emperor and being anti social, is complete B.S. I will say that if I could see the future and for the next 3+ months it would be more beneficial to me to be a loner/recluse and focus on my growth, and not focus so much on social interaction, Emperor would benefit me the most.”

Not anti social but if I want my me time and focus on myself Emperor has always worked well in that regard. In fact in the beginning it made people approach me more but I just valued my time more I guess haha

#34

So I forgot to post this yesterday, but near the end of my shift I saw a gentleman he is in his late 40’s to early 50’s that I met at the bar and he was a regular at my store and let me tell you this man’s energy is something else. Calm, masculine, wise, and helpful. This man has so much wisdom and knowledge it’s insane it’s actually a type of person I aspire to be. Whenever we had time to talk we would talk and catch up or whatever.

So I saw him for the first time in months and we caught up and he asked me what’s new and I told him I have been getting my drinking under control and really starting to change my inner world and changing my life. He basically said that’s awesome to hear and that he sees it in my face and how I present myself etc. and ngl even though I don’t need validation as much anymore hearing that from someone that I respect meant so much to me.

It shows me that I truly am on the right path.

5 Likes
#35

Okay peeps I could use some advice right now for a 3rd sub!

So I am stuck between WANTED or Chosen. This is the sub I would run once a week or twice since I’m heading into my third cycle with my Emperor CustomNow I originally dropped WANTED due to it being intense for me energy wise and at that point in time I was still very caught up on my EX. Until last week lol, when that happened and all the emotions processed while I feel like I don’t want and in all reality need a gf, dating, or validation at the same time I actually feel open to it or enough desire to not be consumed by it. I also have had an issue with validation from women in the past and all of these subs have helped immensely with that. Now when I started to feel better I started to get the feeling to add WANTED again. I also feel that since I am more open to going on dates, sex etc but it’s not my main focus which is how I feel WANTEDs seduction works imo maybe I am more aligned now than I was a while ago. Plus I have been working out more so the physical shifting would be nice since I am more motivated to improve my self image and get a revenge bod haha

Now for chosen I have never ran before but I hear a lot of great reviews on it on how it makes people feel just in general. So I am looking for insight on Chosen mainly since I have no experience with it haha. I will say that since adding Stark and I have been in a much better mood in general and feel like I’m starting to love life again and becoming passionate. I also am working on self love and respect and tbh when I first ran WANTED it probably helped the most in that department so I know WANTED could also continue to help with that. Also curious to how Chosen fairs in the attraction department.

#36

What do you want to accomplish in the next 90 days?

#37

A lot has happened these past couple weeks mainly just before and during my most recent washout. A lot of the emotion hit from my ex and I decided to go very deep within myself for a bit. I realized that I have a bad track record of attracting a lot of women that dont know how they feel about me, they like me then dont like me, dont know how they feel about me etc so I started to ask myself the question “If these are the type of women that I attract and that I am attracted to, what does that say about me?” Long story short this made me go deeper into my introspection. I realized how very little I respected myself, valued myself, believed in myself etc and it reflected on everything in my life especially the type of women I attracted. It finally explained the oneitis, the need for validation from women and allowing them to pick me up and put me down at their leisure. While I have grown in that field over the past 6 months finally getting to the source really helped, plus understanding how that affected me as a whole.

As I started looking back at my life seeing all the negative as I always do, something profound happen. I saw the pain, the depression, dark thoughts, lack of action but also seeing and acknowledging all the good that I have done as well, the ambition, strive for inner growth, overcoming my depression, and pushing myself to be a better man. When I realized that, for the first time in my life I had tears of joy, I finally realized my true power and potential that I have buried my whole life finally come to the surface. I understand now just how much I have been holding myself back and its liberating. Since then I have been a lot happier and I have done a lot of reflecting on my use of subs which I will get to in a bit. This also had an effect on my views of romance and sex. I am open to having some romance in my life now although not necessarily a relationship lol, but also i realized for a long time that I would suppress my sexual energy but now I embrace it and that has had some interesting effects all on its own so far with the ladies, but at the same time I dont need sex or romance. I also feel subs starting to act faster and I have less recon as well, starting to think I removed a huge energetic block this past week.

Moving forward during my last washout I thought long and hard about my use of subs, which was inspired by RV’s question above this post. I realized that I was using subs to do the work for me rather than taking proper action, and also not giving myself true credit for the work that I have put in since my subclub journey. Now internally and externally I am starting to take action and admitting that these subs are tools to help me better myself. Also shiny object syndrome lol I dont think this needs further explanation. So to help me with that regard during my washout I thought long and hard about my goals and the subs that will help me get there, and that I know I will use for a minimum of 2 cycles and will reevaluate and either continue or change my stack and coincidently its just in time for ZP Refresh! Which will be explained in the next post cause I dont want this to get to huge lol.

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#38

Ascension

My reason for running this sub is that even though I have had profound healing I do want to capitalize on my revitalized resolve and strengthen my inner world and it has a lot of goals that I want. Status, wealth, romance, while also being a light and fast acting script. Also while this is a starter sub to me I feel in phases like this in my life this sub will help me transform into a better man. I also feel that as this sub helps me grow as a person the other subs will have an easier time integrating as well.

Stark

I started this one a while ago and im going to be honest I really love how this sub makes me feel haha. I feel like I enjoy life while I am on this sub and it is helping me be a lot more productive as well. Day one I immediately felt the intellectual scripting and I felt like a completely different beast in school, while also making me a lot more passionate and making me love school and putting in the work. The true reason is helping with my charisma, I lacked a lot of that in my life and during my washout healing episode I admitted that I do enjoy the spotlight and being the center of attention and I mean that in a non egotistical way haha its also helping with my social anxiety and making me a lot more intellectual when I speak. Also im a lot funnier and people enjoy my company a lot more, I have also noticed more people have been seeking me out for advice or even just venting to me. Women are starting to become more flirtatious with me and stare at me more often now. I also feel this is a combination with my realization from last week.

These two are my subs that I listen to together twice a week.

WANTED

This one was an interesting choice to go back to and its kinda of a story tbh. So about 3 weeks ago I started to notice signs that said “Wanted” or “Help Wanted” and those signs would really stick out to me especially “Help Wanted” to the point I started to think I was being given a sign from the universe but I let the thought go until this past Saturday.

So I was going to decide that night whether I was going to have WANTED in my stack or not, so I went to the bar to have a few drinks and there was a regular there that I do speak to whenever she is there. She asked if she could sit next to me and I said sure. Now I could tell that she was drunk she composed herself well but still drunk and I could already tell she has a crush on me but im honestly just not interested in her.

We were talking and she started complimenting my clothes and style but as the conversation went on she called me an enigma, and also very interesting to talk to. Thats when I realized that she like me but I was tired and not interested so I was very nonchalant about it but I wasnt a dick about it either. She then asked me if I wanted to hangout outside the bar sometime and I said “When im done with school and I pass my state boards and have more free time we can hangout, in October.” She was cool with that for some reason. Also she kept calling me interesting and mysterious and I said with a grin on my face, “I know, you said that like 8 times already.” Now the real reason why I dont pursue her is that she is always at the bar and she is pretty drunk by the time she leaves. My thought process is that if I overcame my heavy drinking and practice moderation, im not going to date or sleep with someone who represents my old bad habits, but if I can change so can anyone, im not perusing but if she changes I will consider it. I ended up having my two drinks and left.

On the drive home the whole convo ran through my head especially the enigma part and it hit me that whenever I am in a good headspace, even in the past this is how I would act with women and it worked and tbh I was never trying, but my flirting game was on point! Looking back I realized that every woman I was interested in always either asked me out first, or confessed feelings for me, then the anxiety would kick in and I would screw it up or she played the I like you or just wanna be friends game lol. I said to myself, “Do I just play the WANTED game naturally? Cause I havent ran it in about 8-10 weeks and I only played it for two cycles. Oh shit I think this is my sign to add it to my stack” Plus I am curious to see what comes of this with my new state of mind and if I am naturally like that then WANTED will greatly help me explore and understand that side of me, plus the physical shifting is great haha my cardio and strength went up while running that so im excited to see how this greatly benefits my workout routine! Also I have workout routine now that I am actually following!

WANTED is my once a week sub.

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