Thank you! 
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Week 1 Thoughts, Insights, and Progress
So yesterday was the last listening day of the week, and I wanna say that the Refresh is amazing, its so smooth! While I listened to WANTED before its update and experienced the most of my recon on that day after some deep introspection it subsided and got a lot of insight as well but more on that later. For now I will give my breakdown for the week for the Subs.
Ascension
Since starting this sub, taking action has been so much easier, I havenât missed any of my workouts this week and I am already getting stronger. My self confidence has also risen as well, and I can already tell that self confidence is boosting the efficiency of the other subs. I am more dedicated to my work, and more focused as well and today I feel so much calmer than I have in a long time, this one happened today, I was very relaxed but not lazy. Started to wake up earlier without the alarm and one morning I even knocked out my workout very early even though I didnt want to since I only got 4 hours of sleep and then had school hours later. Already starting to realize more of my own value that is increasing. Also taking more leadership roles at school and looking out for the newer students. (Part 2 in the Last part of this update)
Stark
Decently felt the intelligence scripting in this one a few days ago! For Massage Therapy we have to cover a lot of Anatomy and Physiology well the subject that we are on right now is the nervous system. It is a lot to take in but when we got to some of the hardest parts especially the Cranial Nerves I was the only one that was answering most of the questions during the lecture and I decided to see if I could remember the order and names of the Cranial Nerves and I was right. I was very happy with my self with that cause that shit isnt easy haha. People seem to enjoy my presence more and more and honestly its to the point I can talk to anyone and start a conversation and immediately make them laugh! Seems to boost my productivity as well and putting me in a flow state, however I have to get things started but have an easier time staying on track! Like typing out my journals faster!
Also I noticed the first time of starting this the intelligence scripting hit me much faster than Beyond Limitless ever did even though Stark is a much denser script in general. Curious to what experienced users have to say about this.
WANTED
I will start with this, WANTED made me hungry as hell haha luckily im a butcher, massage therapist, and I workout so it doesnt affect me too much, also while I have quite a bit of body fat I am starting to see more definition in my arms and my shirts arenât as snug. Got a really nice haircut and my beard cleaned up and lined up and I gotta say your boy looks good. Women also seem to stare and smile at me more and I stare and smile back more but oddly enough if I know them they have a BF, and if I dont know them she is with another guy haha I dont get it but I will take it. Still curious to how the Stark Wanted Combo aura plays out. Starting to realize that I am handsome as well. I also find more women attractive but at the same time im not star struck like I used to be. Strong desire for romance and passion however Im not desperate at all.
Now when I listened to WANTED I got thrown into Recon and I decided to figure out why, and it led me to self acceptance with my darker traits. Mainly with my heavy drinking, while I have been doing really good with moderation I still kept holding my self down with my phases. I came to terms with that honestly I do like to drink and that I am proud of myself for practicing moderation now but I wont lie to myself and say its a terrible thing when I do drink because then I am giving something power that shouldnt have power over me in the first place. I even had a few drinks at a bar and the struggle to fight the urge to stay and drink more was gone! After realizing this I actually have less of an urge to drink cause I have accepted it and no longer running from it. Other wrongs that I have done as well have began losing power over me as well and forgiving myself more as well, accepting my flaws more and more. After figuring this out the Recon subsided and led to this:
Post Recon Introspection
So yesterday I did a lot of thinking and this is where I feel Ascension truly shined in an internal aspect. So to the people who have read my journal know about my issues with women and my own value as a person and then I had a huge healing phase regarding all that. Well I feel the dust has finally settled and I am finally able to dig deeper in a much calmer manner. I started to understand that if I want a high quality woman and relationship I have to be a high quality man as well, while that seems like common sense saying it and accepting it are to different things.
This next statement isnt about me getting girls its about me making the changes to become a higher quality man in general. I have decided on how I need to go about things if I truly want to change, you cant expect different results doing the same actions. While I do practice moderation at the bars now and am more comfortable, it would be better for me to go to a coffee shop and chill or a public library, cause I can study there, and put myself in different environments and meet different people as well. Plus I can take a break from the bars and spend less money. Its not much for now but its a start but I do thank Ascension for this one cause it is helping me with direction on my goals
Also I have started to think more and more on what I would look for in a significant other, what I will and will not tolerate, accept, could deal with etc. I will say that my standards are rising and simply giving me a chance isnt enough. I am a prize as well thats only becoming more of a prize 
so while I do need to prove my worth in the dating world so does the person I am interested in, and tbh this is a first time thinking like this. Definitely couldnt date a heavy drinker or someone that goes out every weekend. As I have gotten older I have noticed with couples that drink a lot whether its both or one of the two, tend to have very toxic relationships happy or not, or get into petty arguments all the time which would just annoy me. Once in while is fine (moderation) but all time is no bueno for me. I have a ways to go on becoming a high valued man but I have also accepted the work that I have put in for myself this past year and that I have more value than I ever had, but this time I realize my potential as well.
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So I wasnt going to update today until I realized I had a major internal shift.
So Saturdays at school can be a total shit show, with back to back clients and it can be very to fall behind, and get stressed out. To put it into perspective we have to:
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End the session
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Complete SOAP notes, which have Meds, contraindications, what clients tell us, what we notice during the massage etc.
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Reschedule clients
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Take sheets off table
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Sanitize table
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Put clean sheets on table
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Consult next client and begin session
All within 10 mins, now you do it so much you get used to it but I would get very stressed about and every time I did I would say to my self. âI got this, I have done this plenty of times before, I am fine and I wont let this stress me out.â That kept me in a very positive mood all day and I didnt get stressed at all, infact whenever a stressful situation came up I just handled it immediately rather than whine about it. Dont get me wrong I was happy that the day is over haha but even now I am still in a great mood and I am thinking of the positive things that have happened today, its great not being such a pessimist haha. I can honestly say that I can thank Ascension for this one 
Another thing I noticed is that I only had one energy drink today rather than 3 which is a lot less for me than usual. Plus I didnât get overly exhausted during massages today either.
Also today and I might have mentioned this before, but I am starting to find more women attractive. Not in a sense of me âlowering my standardsâ but just appreciating the beauty that women have.
Luck? So today I have been very lucky which was very nice but unexpected lol.
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I made $50 in tips, which is a lot for a student massage therapist.
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On the way home from school I get on the interstate Iâm on it for 1/4 of a mile and have to cross 4 lanes to get to my exit. Despite it be 5:30pm at the time on a Saturday, not one car was in my way at all.
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Decided to stop and get some food on the way home at a popular place and well itâs dinner time on a Saturday and yet no one was in line and I got my food quick, plus a whole row of cars left while I was getting my food so I could get out easier!
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I get out of school on Saturdays at 5 and I didnât want to have a client from 4-5 so I could get out sooner and get cleaning done without being rushed. So the client canceled around 10:30 or so but after my 3-4 session ended I found out that I was scheduled a client, but another student took her since she was originally with her to begin with but was running late and had to cancel. Which is fine by me lol
Not sure where thatâs coming from but I will take it!
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This is really awesome man! I know you wrote this a while ago, but Iâm starting from the beginning of your journal. I think it is fantastic that you have made this shift and can honestly say that you like yourself, in fact love yourself.
Also, the bit about you not needing any validation from others, because you can validate yourself, is gold. In my experience, itâs those who need the validation from others who always get played, because it seems like the strong prey on the weakâŚitâs unfortunate, but seems to be what happens out in the world.
Anyways, Iâm happy for you man; Iâm right behind you, hoping I can one day make these claims about myself as well.
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Thank you for the love and support my dude! Lol keep reading the journal to the more recent entries it gets way more honest and better also best of luck to you dude we are all here to support you and one another! You will get there one day dude just take action and take it one step at a time!
Sup yâall! Goin to be taking a few weeks off from the forum for a bit. Mainly Iâm just real busy with work and school atm but in the beginning of August it will slow down again. Mainly just trying to stay focused.
I am good, Iâm in really good headspace the results have been amazing so far. More driven, productive, goal oriented, attraction from women is slowly going up etc.
If something major happens I will update ASAP however! All of you take care and I will be back in a few weeks!
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Have a wonderful time! 
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Best of luck to you man; and may you find the focus you are looking for. Thanks again for all your help on here.
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I honestly dont know where to begin with this update so I will say this now, this isnt going to be the most organized 
haha. I will start by saying me going HAM at school these past 7 weeks have paid off. I knocked out all of my required massages to graduate and banked up enough Saturday hours so I dont have to go to anymore Saturday classes, which means I can get one day off a week until I graduate ! Now I did take this week off from school because well the past 7 weeks between work and school I had no days off so homeboy needed a break and it gave me enough time for reflection and introspection. Now time for the in depth updates!
Precognition and Manifestation
So these are abilities that I have had my whole life, and during this time I noticed that they have evolved
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I went out for some food, got a burger and the dude next to me ordered wings and when I saw them I was like âDamn I want his wingsâ So he ate all but two, he got a to go box and forgot about them, so after 10 mins I smashed on them haha
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I am starting to guess what people are going to say next and 9/10 times I am correct.
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We got two new instructors in school and everybody including myself loves them already, we are already learning so much more and tbh a lot of people wanted our old instructor gone including myself. Now this has been about two months in the making. It started two weeks ago when I pulled into the parking lot and I thought I think our instructor has Covid. Went into class to find out that her husband has Covid and she has to quarantine, during that time administration hired the two new people, cause they wanted her gone too.
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Able to read people much better as well!
I dont have much more to say as this part of the update was a bonus and well remembering stuff like this over the course of seven weeks is hard haha but I can attest to my abilities getter stronger to just having a more positive state of mind! Although I am considering my own Asc Chamber and Minds Eye custom so see what I can really do! Also to help with positive manifestations and to have better control
Fitness
So I was relying on WANTED to get two birds with one stone and that was Physical shifting and Romance department. Well this current cycle I swapped WANTED (Will explain later) for Emperor Fitness! Well I went straight to stage 4. Mainly cause while I havent worked out like a beast in a good while, I do have experience with working out from calisthenics to weight lifting to more athletic training and I love all of it. Plus my goal is recomp and stage 4 seems to be the best for that!
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Better digestion and and sleep
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Very masculine and better mood, more than likely from hormone rebalance.
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Stronger and recover faster, as well has more muscular endurance and cardiovascular endurance
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Insane pumps
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Already burning fat despite me eating much more especially on days I workout.
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More muscle growth
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Increase water intake
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Being mindful of my limits, being a butcher and a massage therapist as well as working out 5-6 days a week my body can take a beating. However while I do push harder I know when to chill out and take it easy especially having a rotator cuff injury.
Emotional and Mental Wellbeing
So this last cycle I did LBFH and that sub is effective as all hell haha use it while its free yall 
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Believing in myself more
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Respecting myself which in turn has helped me with taking action
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Better self care
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Overflowing with positive emotion and I did get recon it was about how I used to view myself and letting go of old thought patterns
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Learning to truly love myself and that mi amigos has brought in the most change for me in a very long time to the point where it has also matured me which leads into the next few points!
Romance
Literally do not desire it at this point in time, like at all haha. I have way to much to accomplish at this point in my life that I just dont want to put effort into a relationship or dating (now watch I find someone in a few weeks ). Not that I hate women or anything its just I am prioritizing my goals and moving forward and tbh by the time I look back 6 months from now I would have grown so much more I would just have access to better quality women anyways, so the wait will be worth it! This is why I went from WANTED to Emperor Fitness btw.
Business
So I mentioned it a few times that I was going to be starting a business after school with a family friend and I decided to end that endeavor. The reason is that when I started to love myself more I started asking what I really wanted out of my life in the next few years and that was to move away. Not goin to renovate a building I am just renting for 3 years, nor buy a building and be stuck with a 10 year loan. No I want a fresh start in life, new friends experiences, everything. That is a goal to complete within 3 years.
Drinking
So since I had time off I decided to cut loose a little bit and ngl I am pretty much over the bar scene completely, like I am bored at bars most of the time now lol. Once in a while is fine but goin out a lot is pretty much beneath me, which showed me that I finally have control over my drinking on an internal level and that is true growth.
Conclusion
I know a lot of those points are a little vague but this is pretty much what I can remember the past 7-8 weeks while summing them up. I will say that I have grown so much internally since this last update that when I was thinking about updating this I heard a voice that said. âThe boy has been laid to rest, now you are a man, now build the foundation.â After hearing that voice I knew that it was right, I am thinking more like a man now and that it is time to truly start building myself up to be as successful as I can be in life.
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Wow! Lots of gains! Right on!
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Thank you!
So this is the last day of my break until I go back to school and make the final push until graduation so this is goin to be the last major update for a few days but I do have a new stack and quite possibly an idea for a custom that will be geared towards inner world, status, healing, and taking action.
So for starters the new stack is Ascension, Rebirth and Emperor Fitness ST4. I already explained why I am using EF4 so I will explain why I have Ascension and Rebirth in my stack. With all the reflecting I have done during this break I thought long and hard and I even had an ego death to a degree for this current phase of my life. I realized it when the âBoyâ has been laid to rest which I feel is just a lot of my old childish habits, now I want to become a better man by rebuilding my foundation and start from scratch. While I do love Emperor and Stark, I did have to cast my ego aside and be honest with myself on what I truly need at this point in my life and Ascension is right for the job, plus I truly want to change for the better. Rebirth is in there for now to help speed things along, in this regard and ngl its already causing some healing haha but this is only goin to in for a cycle for some good integration with both Ascension and EF4. However this stack is only here for a cycle or two for the real sub.
The custom that I have thought about today really hit me hard and I even have a concept for it but I do want to sit on it for a cycle and possibly get more experienced users opinions before I jump the gun lol. Anyways the two major cores where an inspiration from @Davisnwc (great read btw) journal with this particular custom and it is Primal Ascension. Now in the past I did run this stack for a cycle and got great results but ego got in the way and I went back to Emperor, I have grown since then though, went through healing, ego death, getting over my ex was a huge one as well and now I know I should have stayed with that stack but now I am deciding to make it a custom.
Why This Custom?
Ascension
I have already explained above parts of the reason why I want to run Ascension, but the biggest reason is that I want to change completely on the inside, how I handle situations, handle myself etc. I want to realize MY personal power and who I am and what I truly have to offer this world as the man that I am.
Primal
This one came out of nowhere but it does make sense for the purpose of this custom. Looking back in my life I have had so much anxiety when it comes to dating, romance, women etc to the point I have damaged my inner world revolving around all of what I stated that I am ready to heal in that regard. I want to be able to have the confidence to approach women, flirt with them, all while having that respect for myself to walk away if needed and to not be so hurt with rejection, or breakups. I want to also heal the primal side of me as well, for too long I have been suppressing it thinking I was doing good for myself and instead caused more damage. With Primal I will learn to embrace and also master my primal side.
The biggest inspiration for this custom was a thought that I had today and on how far I have come. I want people to look at me one day in the future, that anyone can change for the better, if they put in the work. I want to set that example for others that were as lost as I was and hopefully inspire change in others. I overcame my heavy drinking, lack of ambition, neediness for other peoples validation, many other vices and its time to finish the job by ripping out my old foundation and build a much stronger one, one that will last and serve me a lifetime.
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Best of luck bro, Iâm sure youâll love the combo
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Thank you! I think I will enjoy the combo too.
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So today was a great day for Ascension to shine! I didnt sleep well at all last night, wasnt caused by recon I just have some nights of very poor sleep, just figured I would put that in here. Now My manager is on vacation this week so I had to open the department which means writing the order and basically getting everything set up for the day.
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Despite it being a long time I opened which means I am in charge for the day I seriously kicked in terms of leardership.
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As I was writing the order I had a game plan ready to go, that was executed flawlessly throughout the day.
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Got everything done and was able to get the department ready to be cleaned and disinfected much sooner than usual days
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Despite myself being tired I was able to maintain focus throughout the day, and was able to power through my workout.
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Didnât need to rely on caffeine as much as I thought I would. I just had one cup of coffee and a scoop of pre workout and I am still goin strong.
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Still plan to study for an upcoming test tonight before bed.
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So this could definitely be a bloom from Stark as I have ran it for 3 cycles, but I was very social today and people seemed to enjoy my company at work. However unlike Stark it seemed that Ascension made me into a more grounded social, and not the hyper I need to be very very social that I would get from Stark.
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Also felt very calm, collected, and calculated today but had a nice balance with fun at work.
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Unrelated but I have been seeing 555 and 5555 a lot the past couple weeks
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Also while I do want to run Primal along Ascension or at least make a custom I think I will wait for a bit on that.
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I am almost finished with school and I want Ascension to kick in for that so that will be about 2 cycles
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That said while I Want to use Primal for healing, until I am done with school or almost done, I wont really be in that many social situations to really let Primal flourish in the beginning.
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When I graduate I will be able to work more and be able to order the custom and be able to go out more.
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Wanna take the time to think about what places I wanna check out since I am not too big on goin out to bars as much anymore.
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Would be able to focus more on the healing side of Primal while i am not worried about school.
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This has been something I have been thinking about for a while now but I have been thinking about giving Minds Eye a spin especially since my manifestation abilities have been coming back at full swing.
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Iâm doing Stark + Wanted custom with Empfit: ST3 itâs going to be an interesting ride for the both of us
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Oh shit dude haha yeah Stark and WANTED was very fun and I will say WANTED does help to ground Stark a bit. I probably would have had more fun if I didnt have the emotional hang ups in the love dept but thatâs what Primal is for haha
I think for two cycles its goin to be Ascension, Empfit ST4, Minds Eye, and if I like Minds Eye which I think I will then it will be Primal Ascension, Empfit ST4, and Minds Eye.
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Good on ya bro; I think youâve come to some really good realizations here.
I think this shows a ton of growth for you; anyone who is able to put romance or casual relationships on hold for a time is showing that they donât NEED them. Wanting a romantic partner is great - but like youâve discovered, it has to be right place / right time. Sometimes in life itâs neither, and itâs the most mature thing to just put it on hold until it is the right place / right time. I would say that if youâre able to do this, you can be sure youâre not trying to get validation from women at all, which is a huge step, in my opinion.
I like this, too, because it shows youâre really thinking and planning your future, instead of just acting and regretting later. I do much this same thing in my life, when Iâm faced with choices, and this way of facing things has rarely, if ever, steered me wrong. When I have not done this, or did not have enough info to make a good decision, thatâs when Iâve done some stupid stuff and have had to pay for it.
Totally agree with you here; it seems you are shedding your need to validate yourself with other stuff (external stuff), and are increasingly able to validate yourself by who you are becoming. By the way, I know you are not really looking for romance right now, but women dig this in a man, so youâre on the right track in that regard as well (not that that is why youâre improving yourself, but itâs icing on the cake).
Thatâs awesome man; I think you are doing great, and I say keep listening to yourself, because youâre giving yourself some great advice.
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@Uber_Elysium i also found myself naturally drawn to Stark. I have used emperor, PS, wanted, SS but i find myself going back to stark. Or custom customizing it with wanted or PS
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