So solid, love contexts like this, please post more when able 
Q has always been there
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I think Fire heard you. Careful now or he might get the impression you find the current offering underwhelming. 
I have a challenge with name-embedding. I’m still trying to figure out which name would be most effective. My birth/given name, the name I feel I should have had and identify with strongly, or even DarkPhilosopher, a personality that definitely has its own character and has become a definite aspect of how I represent myself to the world.
Maybe when the Q servers are taking a breather I’ll ask them to crank out the same sub with the different alternatives and run each for a month or so. See if I notice any difference.
“A deaf man may not have heard the thunder but he surely will see the rain.”
– Malian Proverb
“He who is struck by the lightning does not hear the thunder.”
– Hungarian Proverb
“Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.”
– Mark Twain
Snap! DarkPhilosopher takes 'm and dishes 'm out!
Thanks for replying, Fire.
I guess the underlying issue here is that when you have a forum filled with people struck by lightning (“I feel energy all through my body”, “All women come on to me”, “I doubled my salary in 30 days”) the people that only ever experience the thunder and rain are feeling left out.
Not to mention those journals are less inspiring and seldom used as examples. People point to the guy that started listening to Iron Throne and had the best sex of his life the next day, not the guy that started listening and went on 2000 approaches before becoming reliably successful with women. Even if neither might have gotten there without the subs (or vice versa) Bad choice of words, I meant they might have gotten there without the subs as well.
As nice as it is to be rare, I want to be struck by lightning at least once. I want to go like Saint and have spiritual epiphanies. I want to experience the Axe/Libertine Effect and have women chase after me. I want that perfect business opportunity fall into my lap. I don’t care if it hurts, rip that bandage off already. At least once let me be blinded by the light.
I will stick with it for the 4 stage journey even if it is slow and steady. Doesn’t mean I’m not constantly wondering how much of my journey is due to the subs and how much is due to my own stubbornness in spending more effort trying to prove the subs work.
So yeah, if that lightning never comes, expect some doubt and even cynicism. You know me well enough by now to know that even though I support you 98% (100% would be no fun for either one of us), I’m still a scientist at heart looking to measure absolutely everything and fill in the variables. After all…
“To measure is to know. If you can not measure it, you can not improve it.”
– Lord Kelvin
I would like reading said ancient text by the way. It sounds like the kind of thing I would say. Then again, I may have. I don’t remember everything I’ve written in the past millennia. Do you?
I think there’s been enough quotes, so no healing quote for today. I’ll probably run out of them before Stage 4 either way.
With the regression of me going to bed past midnight yesterday, I slept for about 6 hours to still start work on time. Only need to work a few hours today.
I’m okay with it, but I feel I should go to bed on time tonight again. On weekends it is always tougher to do the right things since they have less structure for me.
Did some split stretching yesterday. I think one of the most fun things you can do as an adult is to be able to drop into a split or pop into a handstand at any time. It’s like a measure of health and fitness, like how I feel every person should be able to comfortably run between 5 and 10k even if they despise running (it really bores me).
Back is still hurting. I have a very high pain threshold so I am wondering how long until I should visit a doctor. For now, I remain optimistic that it’s just a muscle and it will go away on its own. One unfortunate bit is that it hurts when my rib cage expands to the limit, so my breathing/pranayama practice is quite uncomfortable.
I remember a time when I had “functional” girlfriends, like a massage therapist and a hairdresser. That was nice, always had somebody to call.
I can strongly recommend you convince your significant other to learn massage by the way. As a matter of fact, it’s an awesome thing to learn together and massage each other. Improves health and with all that Oxytocin and Endorphin pumping through the body it even improves the relationship.
Did the final kettlebell exercise of this week, meaning I can switch to the next week on Monday.
Plus, after half a day sitting in bad posture my back pain has mostly faded. Of course, I now have bad posture pain in my neck. Something about having a cake and eating it comes to mind…
This may or may not be another health conscious choice by the way. I’ve been paying more attention to my posture when sitting behind my desk.
Quick question for @James : do you also follow the DDP diet and strict monitoring of heart rate, or do you focus mainly on the exercises? Since all the extra stuff is a lot.
I slept for a few hours in the evening. Just woke up, I drank a LOT of passion flower tea and took some krill oil. Now I’ll be consuming a few magic truffles that I have lying around.
I don’t know if it does anything or not. I think my need to control absolutely everything has definitely gone down and supposedly it stimulates the brain. I also reached a few epiphanies.
Still, it does leave me feeling quite weak for hours. So I may experiment a few more times to find my max, then stop altogether.
For now, I salute you.
Oh, I ran half a loop of my stack, so Elixir, 2x Dragon and 2x Alchemist.
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Naw. 
There’s plenty of toys for ya’ll to play with right now. We’re still discovering things about Ultima that’s blowing our minds.
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Suggested it just because you might stand to benefit from it more than we might (as in it might transform your experience). That said, it’s tongue-in-cheek.
Based on the reports I’d say Q is sufficient for DR. Don’t think I’d run it at Terminus or above lest I lose stackability with other subs completely.
Your experience resonates a lot with mine and I would have written exactly the same thing as you. So thank you so much for this.
Anyway, I did mention that I would love to be have my belly set on fire, just like you want to be struck by lighting once.
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Um no. Haven’t used a heartrate monitor or have even read what the diet entails. That said here shortly I do plan to start tracking my calories as that has worked wonders for me in the past. Doesn’t hurt either that my recent change in ADHD meds makes overeating undesirable if not impossible
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Why would that make you lose stackability?
Thanks for the support!
Calory counting is one of the best things I’ve done to get better control of my weight. It’s remarkable how meals that take 10 minutes to eat can sometimes contain enough calories for an entire day. But until we realize that we’ll just keep eating them.
“Creation is the mother of all ironies, for the act of creating is imposing limits on that which is limitless.”
– David, the Dark Philosopher
That’s right, boys and girls, it’s a DarkPhilosopher original. I had a major epiphany while under the influence of them magic truffles and it led me to understanding what is standing in the way of those lightning strikes.
Unfortunately, there’s a difference between understanding something and actually applying that knowledge. It’s very frustrating to figure out the answers and still not being able to do anything about it. I dub this the Douglas Adams Conundrum.
Unfortunately my trip left me depleted and I slept for 7 hours afterwards. By the time I woke up it was already evening. So there won’t be much to report today.
I lost a bit of weight this week, but no significant change in body composition. I may have overeaten a bit while watching a movie, so I’ll have to compensate in the coming week.
I have a Terminus custom. Saint has already advised against stacking two Terminus titles together, for one. It’s also possible that DR @ T would be too much on its own. He noted about being wary of increasing power on healing subs. WIth DR already being at the point that it’s advised that one has run a heavy sub like Emperor first, I can already envision DR @ T might be over the top. Name-embedded DR @ Q is what I’m looking for.
Yes name-embedded Terminus healing subs are no joke. I have New Beginnings in my Khan Terminus custom, and it sent me into complete apathy. I could not get out of bed for three straight day, then started crying and came back to playing video games (an addiction I have given up 4 years ago).
It can be your best friend or worst enemy, depending on your perspective. If you are ready for it, I highly recommend trying it. I just wouldn’t suggest to new users 
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My name-embedded custom healing Ultima really threw me into the rough. But I feel like it opened something serious and great. Just as how my custom main unlocked the manifestation ability within.
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what result(s)/ experience would blow you away enough to consider that you’ve been blinded by the light? Like for you personally if your open to sharing.
I’d recommend the ‘All-seeing’ module after that experience lol
I’ve been on both sides of the tracks, absolutely blown away but what happened and almost in awe that a sub caused that. And going weeks- to months- without any over the top results to holler about-just a slow steady progress-that if I wasn’t looking for I might have missed. I think there is actually an art to being able to experience results in that way. I’m experimenting more and if I come up with anything conclusive I’ll post my experience in my journal
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That is actually a really good question to ask.
I used to feel this way, and sometimes I still do.
But at some point, I experienced a kind of meta-epiphany or even anti-epiphany.
It hit me, on a gut-level, that everything is already completely miraculous. I “saw” that the ascription of value ‘normal’ vs ‘abnormal’; ‘special’ vs. ‘ordinary’; was extremely arbitrary and subjective; and most importantly of all, it was a label that was being imposed rather than arising from phenomena themselves.
Thereupon ensued a trippy period of time in which everything looked odd for a while.
I remember one night waking up (I was sleeping on the floor) and the light of the moon shone on me. I woke up and saw that there was this large seemingly white orb just floating in the sky, and it blew my mind. I guess people have more vivid and intense versions of this when taking hallucinogens; but after all, those substances are mimicking endogenous neurochemicals, so it makes sense that sometimes we can just wander into those experiences as well.
Anyway. Over time the experience faded and muted a bit, but it’s one of those things that is never completely gone.
There is nothing at all wrong with seeking out a thrill. I am mainly typing this out to provide a counter-balance. Everything is always, already miraculous, and mysterious. Those dramatic moments and experiences are valuable primarily in making it a bit easier for us to remember this. Remembering this point makes the thrills even more valuable.
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“Manifesting something into existence is easy. The hard part is to stop manifesting all of the alternatives.”
– David, the Dark Philosopher
Really? So much for all the users stacking that T² Mind’s Eye with everything.
Maybe having run SubClub subs for a few years now made me ready enough. In a way I suppose its about being able to handle the overload and still being able to operate. The subs create a compulsion and the subconscious processes have to deal with that while acting like nothing is going on. It must be exhausting.
That’s like asking a religious person how they would recognize being in the presence of their deity. They would tell you it’s a complete absence of doubt. They just know.
In this case, I would say that I do a lot of self-reflection and the experience that I’m looking for is one where I am left scratching my head wondering how that could have happened, because there is no way that would have happened naturally. It happened “too fast.”
In other words, I’m looking for the outside force affecting me. The sense that instead of dragging myself from A to Z letter by letter like I would expect it to work, I instead skipped a few letters and jumped ahead, like something was clearing the path for me.
As for the argument that the change comes from within, clearing the path could mean creating shortcut pathways in my mind and shining a spotlight on them to ensure that I followed those instead.
Curiously, that’s exactly what my two self-quotes above are about. The very fact that we believe that change is a gradual process makes it so. If the only conviction we are left with is one where everything is a miracle, everything is.
But of course, once something has come into existence, including other ideas, it seems to be remarkably hard to get rid of it.
Not bad after only a few rounds of Alchemist last week, right?
“Everybody has a little bit of the sun and moon in them. Everybody has a little bit of man, woman, and animal in them. Darks and lights in them. Everyone is part of a connected cosmic system. Part earth and sea, wind and fire, with some salt and dust swimming in them. We have a universe within ourselves that mimics the universe outside. None of us are just black or white, or never wrong and always right. No one. No one exists without polarities. Everybody has good and bad forces working with them, against them, and within them.”
– Suzy Kassem
Malkuth’s idea of maintaining a state of wonder made me think of this. We are so much more than we give ourselves credit for.
I will take this opportunity to mention that with Malkuth’s post I now have (had) the participation of nearly all the big names on this forum. I’m collecting Arch Alchemists over here.
Thanks, guys (including Fire & Saint)! It means a lot to see this kind of interactivity in my journal. Part of the healing process is making me question and reason my current perception of reality, and you’re all helping with that.
No post yesterday, nothing much happened. I feel good about getting a “fresh” start of the week. I have an affirmation I always open my private journal with: “Today I am better than yesterday. Tomorrow I am better than today.”
Well, I feel this week I will be better than last week for sure! Not bad for a Monday morning.
I just had a bit of a realization as I was thinking about the stuff posted above. I can tell you with very little doubt that without SubClub I would not have undergone the spiritual journey I have. I’m too stubborn to say it was the subs, but I will say that SubClub and its community played a major part in it. And for that I am grateful, I have matured a lot since I came here.
As I was finishing up work I checked today’s training and just thinking about it made me tired. So I went to lie down for few minutes and now it’s past midnight. I mean, I like that my sleep schedule is moving up as I wanted. But I have yet to find a new spot for all the daily activities.
Well, I did Monday’s training… at 06:00 on Tuesday, right before Monday’s dinner.
One of the downsides of kettlebell training is that with many exercises the bell rests on the outside of the wrist. Which has physiological benefits by offsetting the center of balance. Smartwatches don’t like it however, unbreakable glass or not. So measuring heart rate without a traditional band around the chest is not that successful.
With my schedule all out of whack, I didn’t get past Elixir. I’ll force my listening more today during work. Which will be fun, as the day is filled with back-to-back meetings.
“What was that? I can’t hear you through the monsoon going on over here.”
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Just to clarify cause I realized we might be on different pages, are you taking about confirmation that you can feel a subliminal working or its really obvious it’s effecting you in your subjective experience?
Or are you talking about a subliminal clearly being responsible for a ‘miraculous’ result, like a manifestation of some sort?
It’s sounding like you are involved in a somewhat extensive training and development process. What’s it about? Physical transformation? Healing? or None of my Business (at this time)? The last is fine too.
Also, I did feel an intuitive resonance with the quotes you posted. That was interesting.
I’d be happy with the “obvious it’s affecting you in your subjective experience” but I’m looking for the manifestation. Like taking action, all it takes is a single step for it to start snowballing down a mountain. Once that first manifestation happens, it is likely I’ll start bringing in more and more. Before you know it, I’ll be like @anon3072973 and won’t know where to put all of them until I manifest a bigger life.
But that first one is like breaking the ice with a girl you’ve been in love with all your life and never spoken to.
I don’t have a specific goal at mind except for all-round healing and simply experiencing Reborn. I trust SubClub has done its research and knows better than I do what that entails and as such will catch things I don’t think are related to healing.
But my beliefs about how I would recognize the ideal of health will likely guide the experience. That’s how SubClub subs work. There’s the baseline that they will do for everybody, and on top of that is the personalized twist that makes it our own. Makes it feel natural.
Since I believe the mind and spirit can only grow as much as the vessel that contains them, almost every sub (including non-healing ones) should cause me to prioritize physical health, with emotional and spiritual health following in line.
Thanks! My originals? They came from a newfound understanding. When I tried to explain the idea to somebody he stopped responding for two days. When I asked him why, he told me I was explaining something that could not be explained so he couldn’t find the words. Which, in a way, is evidence he got it.
As for some of the other quotes, I post those that make me feel something when I read them. Like feeling content or lighter.
Speaking of…
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha
I know, I switched from health to feel-good. Consider it emotional healing.
I was more active and productive today and even got some more of my repetitive daily chores done. I once again got tired after work, went to bed early evening and woke up between 2 and 3.
I like the quiet to be able to focus on important things, but until I move my chores around it’s a bit of a mess in my life. At least I get enough sleep for the first time in years.
Because of the above I didn’t get to do much besides work. One benefit is that I don’t snack either, so I end up eating only my healthy (enough) dinner.
Going to do my exercise now, then make dinner, relax a little and start work again.
Well, exercise sucked monkey d*ck. But doing it is the important part. What I do love about exercise is how water tastes so good afterwards. I drank 4 glasses in a row and it was heaven. I’m sure dinner will be awesome as well.
I was right, dinner was great. I like the new rice.
I thought about the things I did today that would in my mind support my health. I drank more water, I exercized, I got enough sleep and I didn’t snack but had a decent dinner instead. All in all, I feel good about it, even if my schedule is in serious need of shuffling.
I also managed to run Elixir and two loops of Reborn and Alchemist.
It’s about that time, so I will now swivel my chair 360 degrees and it will magically be Wednesday and time to start work. I really love working from home.
If you’re still with me on this journey (as readers as well as other Dragon Knights) I thank you!
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“All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.”
– Swami Vivekananda
This should be a subliminal message: all the powers in the universe are already mine.
Don’t worry, I’ll share.
My day was reasonably productive, not quite where I wanted it to be but acceptable for now. I’m gonna go to bed now and afterwards do the second part of the day. It’s an odd schedule, but it seems to work.
Woke up at 02:45 again. It actually feels kind of natural. Got up, did the dishes and wrote part of the Prologue to one of what might be 2 non-fiction books running around in my head. Feels good. I’ll tease you the first line…
“Words are mankind’s most dangerous invention.”
– David, the Dark Philosopher
Epic way to start a tome filled with 'm, right?
No exercise today. Good thing too, since I’m still feeling my shoulders, glutes, back and hamstrings. Tomorrow night’s exercise is going to be a fun-filled ride this way.
I wanted to do some Yin yoga, but I seem to have misplaced my Blender Balls, which means I can’t mix my protein drink. And that really messed me up (it’s why I did the dishes actually).
Time to tally. I almost drank enough water, I didn’t exercise but it was technically my rest day, I did pranayama and meditated (8 out of the 10 minutes I was actually in a meditative state), I fasted (no exercise means no food necessary) and I slept well (no waking up every two hours anymore). I feel… content. At peace. Must be the meditation.
I managed 1 loop of Elixir, Reborn and Alchemist.
Time to turn around and magically make it Thursday.
“Contained within my being is every line of code that has ever or will ever be written.”
– Pluralsight, "A Guided Meditation for JavaScript Developers"
Celebrating 25 years of JavaScript making cyber-crime easier and page load times longer.
Surprisingly insightful, even with its comedic spin. You’d probably have to be familiar with computer code to get the funny parts though.
I liked the line I quoted above, makes for a great affirmation. Especially if you believe in the Simulation Theory.
I’ll get back to the healing quotes eventually. Still 3 and a half stages left to go. There’s time.
They tell me it’s my chronological birthday. I told them that the only gift I would ask for is for them to take a year off my chronological age. No such luck unfortunately. Anyways, happy birthday to me! I’ll drink a Corona to celebrate.
Too soon?
Well, I thought about it and finally figured since I haven’t done so in 2 years and given that it is a special day, I would allow myself to order McDonald’s.
Obviously, I don’t feel so good now that it’s digesting. But I don’t actually regret it. I’ll probably wait another 2 years though.
Woke up after 6 hours of sleep, the McDiscomfort is gone. Did some cleaning, drank extra water. Thursday’s exercise will have to be on Friday afternoon I guess, I’m not looking forward to it.
So today was a bit of a messy day and not very healthy. Better tomorrow.
I listened to 1 Elixir, 1 Reborn & 1 Alchemist.