What has been the most significant change you have noticed since starting DR?
Thanks. But telling me you love my writing and then recommending a site that improves upon it seems somewhat counter-intuitive. 
I actually already implement a lot of what they would recommend. A great deal of attention goes into my posts on this forum. I use synonyms to prevent re-using words, rarely start sentences with “I”, mind the length and complexity of paragraphs, read them to myself to gauge the flow and feel of them and often adapt them for non-English natives, I mind the use of “just” and “though/although” (we all have filler-words, those are mine) and so on and on.
Add to that that once I post I only have 4 minutes before the ink dries during which to make last minute corrections since I don’t like to edit my posts once made and it can take quite a bit of time for me to post anything.
In this journal I have intentionally broken some of the rules in order to sound more conversational. The talking-to-my-diary idea.
I’m glad you like it, I find myself wondering how many people actually read this journal since it’s pretty quiet and I don’t have any miracles to report that people can point to to prove how well subs work.
I believe I posted it up top somewhere. I’m a good boy who will go through the stages even if they don’t feel like they’re doing anything. My stack is Elixir followed by 4x Dragon Stage 1. I’m still thinking about adding Alchemist Stage 1 in.
Nothing I would be convinced are due to subs, really. It seems a tiny bit easier to make healthy choices regarding my diet, exercise and sleeping, but it’s still equally easy to choose the less healthy alternatives. I keep hoping something happens that makes me feel more confident that the subs are doing something, since believing would help them do more. But unfortunately I have very little to report. I truly wish I did. It’s kind of depressing, really.
And now, back across the fourth wall…
“Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.”
– Ram Dass
I was reluctant to post this since I’m not into religion. However, the idea behind this is solid. When we heal, we don’t go back to how it was before. Instead, we grow from the experience. Like how growing muscles means tearing them then letting them regrow bigger and stronger. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (insert Kelly Clarkson song here.)
I slept another solid 7-8 hours and woke up well-rested. It is strange though, like last night I woke up every 2 hours or so. The EEG shows I spent most of the time in calm restful sleep and I do feel well-rested when I wake up, but I did have to go back to sleep twice. Maybe it’s my body trying to figure out why I’m sleeping when I used to be awake.
That said, I did mess up. I felt somewhat exhausted in the afternoon, so I lay down for a bit and slept through the afternoon and most of the evening. So now I won’t be able to sleep through the night again. Two steps forward, one step back.
Since a few days I have a really awful pain in my back. It started right before I started exercising again, I just woke up with it. I’m experienced enough to know different kinds of pain (like bad posture or exercise fatigue), and this one I would classify as bad pain. I think I may actually have to get some professional help with this because it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
Due to me sleeping through half of my waking hours, I didn’t get to listen to my stack and didn’t get to do anything productive to my health. Unless you count sleeping and fasting. So today was not the best of days.
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@RVconsultant
Perhaps, but one has to take the placebo effect into consideration. In order to help the subs, I am consciously spending more energy on taking actions to support the subs. So the question is if it is really the subs giving me a gentle nudge in the right direction, or if it is me spending more effort on consciously making the right choices, but no different than if I had made the choice to do so without running subs. As such, I do not consider this a significant change.
Also, let’s not forget this is me really looking for something that might possibly in the furthest stretch of imagination be because of subs. Hence the word “seems” and the acknowledgment that it is still equally easy to make unhealthy choices, both things you conveniently left out of your quote.
On second thought, the most significant thing that happened to me since starting Dragon is that my back hurts like a mother. Hey, you never said it had to be a positive change.
“I’ve experienced several different healing methodologies over the years - counseling, self-help seminars, and I’ve read a lot - but none of them will work unless you really want to heal.”
– Lindsay Wagner
Nothing to add.
After my sleep-fest yesterday I managed to sleep until 0400 and intend to stay up the rest of the day until sleep-time again. May cause a bit of yawning, but it should be close enough.
I have added Alchemist Stage 1 to the stack now that I haven’t gotten any adverse effects from Reborn. See what this mix does. I did run through Alchemist last year (pre-Q) so my mind should already be familiar with it.
I did get my exercise in, surprisingly. It was a bit of a match between me and my back. Me doing a Get-Up, my back searching for the phone number of my shoulder muscles to tell them to drop that weight down on my face.
I did unfortunately not make it to bed before midnight. Working on winding down now. Better tomorrow.
With Alchemist in the stack, I managed 1 Elixir, 3 Dragons and 2 Alchemists. The volume difference is a bit annoying.
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While reading your journal, @DarkPhilosopher, I couldn’t help but to smile.
There is an interesting phenomenon that happens with some rare users, and it always reminds me of something written in an ancient text (paraphrasing):
“When a man loses his hearing, he cannot discern even thunder. Would you then say rumblings of thunder are mere whispers? The deaf man, however, insists there are no such sounds.”
You keep looking for a flashy, earth shattering revelation that you are ignoring the steady, natural process that is happening. Throughout your journal you can see the emotional shifting, the small realizations that you have. You go through an emotional thinking phase, have a small revelation (not necessarily connected directly), and then move on to the next.
It’s important to remember - Q is at such a point that it simply works. It’s not based on belief and “wanting to heal” (referring to the quote). Wanting to heal will help you let go of the powerful focus of looking for something grand, but it will affect Q very little or not at all. Letting go of that pulling to look for grandiose events will help you notice the smaller, inner happenings that lead to greatness.
Of course, there is also the factor of the naturalizing technology that helps keep things smooth.
Keep going. You will see the changes more clearly once you look back on yourself after some time. If you want to be more noticing of the changes, try and notice the inner machinations, go meta on yourself if you have to.
Especially during those moments of “why are others getting all the results?”. That is also an emotion/belief, and Dragon Reborn… is purging and making use of emotions/beliefs that are holding you back, transforming it into something greater. Emotions and beliefs just like that one.
Either way, you are doing good.
To summarize, just like in the text about a man, Q never stopped - it was always there, processing and executing.
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I think Fire heard you. Careful now or he might get the impression you find the current offering underwhelming. 
I have a challenge with name-embedding. I’m still trying to figure out which name would be most effective. My birth/given name, the name I feel I should have had and identify with strongly, or even DarkPhilosopher, a personality that definitely has its own character and has become a definite aspect of how I represent myself to the world.
Maybe when the Q servers are taking a breather I’ll ask them to crank out the same sub with the different alternatives and run each for a month or so. See if I notice any difference.
“A deaf man may not have heard the thunder but he surely will see the rain.”
– Malian Proverb
“He who is struck by the lightning does not hear the thunder.”
– Hungarian Proverb
“Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.”
– Mark Twain
Snap! DarkPhilosopher takes 'm and dishes 'm out!
Thanks for replying, Fire.
I guess the underlying issue here is that when you have a forum filled with people struck by lightning (“I feel energy all through my body”, “All women come on to me”, “I doubled my salary in 30 days”) the people that only ever experience the thunder and rain are feeling left out.
Not to mention those journals are less inspiring and seldom used as examples. People point to the guy that started listening to Iron Throne and had the best sex of his life the next day, not the guy that started listening and went on 2000 approaches before becoming reliably successful with women. Even if neither might have gotten there without the subs (or vice versa) Bad choice of words, I meant they might have gotten there without the subs as well.
As nice as it is to be rare, I want to be struck by lightning at least once. I want to go like Saint and have spiritual epiphanies. I want to experience the Axe/Libertine Effect and have women chase after me. I want that perfect business opportunity fall into my lap. I don’t care if it hurts, rip that bandage off already. At least once let me be blinded by the light.
I will stick with it for the 4 stage journey even if it is slow and steady. Doesn’t mean I’m not constantly wondering how much of my journey is due to the subs and how much is due to my own stubbornness in spending more effort trying to prove the subs work.
So yeah, if that lightning never comes, expect some doubt and even cynicism. You know me well enough by now to know that even though I support you 98% (100% would be no fun for either one of us), I’m still a scientist at heart looking to measure absolutely everything and fill in the variables. After all…
“To measure is to know. If you can not measure it, you can not improve it.”
– Lord Kelvin
I would like reading said ancient text by the way. It sounds like the kind of thing I would say. Then again, I may have. I don’t remember everything I’ve written in the past millennia. Do you?
I think there’s been enough quotes, so no healing quote for today. I’ll probably run out of them before Stage 4 either way.
With the regression of me going to bed past midnight yesterday, I slept for about 6 hours to still start work on time. Only need to work a few hours today.
I’m okay with it, but I feel I should go to bed on time tonight again. On weekends it is always tougher to do the right things since they have less structure for me.
Did some split stretching yesterday. I think one of the most fun things you can do as an adult is to be able to drop into a split or pop into a handstand at any time. It’s like a measure of health and fitness, like how I feel every person should be able to comfortably run between 5 and 10k even if they despise running (it really bores me).
Back is still hurting. I have a very high pain threshold so I am wondering how long until I should visit a doctor. For now, I remain optimistic that it’s just a muscle and it will go away on its own. One unfortunate bit is that it hurts when my rib cage expands to the limit, so my breathing/pranayama practice is quite uncomfortable.
I remember a time when I had “functional” girlfriends, like a massage therapist and a hairdresser. That was nice, always had somebody to call.
I can strongly recommend you convince your significant other to learn massage by the way. As a matter of fact, it’s an awesome thing to learn together and massage each other. Improves health and with all that Oxytocin and Endorphin pumping through the body it even improves the relationship.
Did the final kettlebell exercise of this week, meaning I can switch to the next week on Monday.
Plus, after half a day sitting in bad posture my back pain has mostly faded. Of course, I now have bad posture pain in my neck. Something about having a cake and eating it comes to mind…
This may or may not be another health conscious choice by the way. I’ve been paying more attention to my posture when sitting behind my desk.
Quick question for @James : do you also follow the DDP diet and strict monitoring of heart rate, or do you focus mainly on the exercises? Since all the extra stuff is a lot.
I slept for a few hours in the evening. Just woke up, I drank a LOT of passion flower tea and took some krill oil. Now I’ll be consuming a few magic truffles that I have lying around.
I don’t know if it does anything or not. I think my need to control absolutely everything has definitely gone down and supposedly it stimulates the brain. I also reached a few epiphanies.
Still, it does leave me feeling quite weak for hours. So I may experiment a few more times to find my max, then stop altogether.
For now, I salute you.
Oh, I ran half a loop of my stack, so Elixir, 2x Dragon and 2x Alchemist.
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Naw. 
There’s plenty of toys for ya’ll to play with right now. We’re still discovering things about Ultima that’s blowing our minds.
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Suggested it just because you might stand to benefit from it more than we might (as in it might transform your experience). That said, it’s tongue-in-cheek.
Based on the reports I’d say Q is sufficient for DR. Don’t think I’d run it at Terminus or above lest I lose stackability with other subs completely.
Your experience resonates a lot with mine and I would have written exactly the same thing as you. So thank you so much for this.
Anyway, I did mention that I would love to be have my belly set on fire, just like you want to be struck by lighting once.
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Um no. Haven’t used a heartrate monitor or have even read what the diet entails. That said here shortly I do plan to start tracking my calories as that has worked wonders for me in the past. Doesn’t hurt either that my recent change in ADHD meds makes overeating undesirable if not impossible
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Why would that make you lose stackability?
Thanks for the support!
Calory counting is one of the best things I’ve done to get better control of my weight. It’s remarkable how meals that take 10 minutes to eat can sometimes contain enough calories for an entire day. But until we realize that we’ll just keep eating them.
“Creation is the mother of all ironies, for the act of creating is imposing limits on that which is limitless.”
– David, the Dark Philosopher
That’s right, boys and girls, it’s a DarkPhilosopher original. I had a major epiphany while under the influence of them magic truffles and it led me to understanding what is standing in the way of those lightning strikes.
Unfortunately, there’s a difference between understanding something and actually applying that knowledge. It’s very frustrating to figure out the answers and still not being able to do anything about it. I dub this the Douglas Adams Conundrum.
Unfortunately my trip left me depleted and I slept for 7 hours afterwards. By the time I woke up it was already evening. So there won’t be much to report today.
I lost a bit of weight this week, but no significant change in body composition. I may have overeaten a bit while watching a movie, so I’ll have to compensate in the coming week.
I have a Terminus custom. Saint has already advised against stacking two Terminus titles together, for one. It’s also possible that DR @ T would be too much on its own. He noted about being wary of increasing power on healing subs. WIth DR already being at the point that it’s advised that one has run a heavy sub like Emperor first, I can already envision DR @ T might be over the top. Name-embedded DR @ Q is what I’m looking for.
Yes name-embedded Terminus healing subs are no joke. I have New Beginnings in my Khan Terminus custom, and it sent me into complete apathy. I could not get out of bed for three straight day, then started crying and came back to playing video games (an addiction I have given up 4 years ago).
It can be your best friend or worst enemy, depending on your perspective. If you are ready for it, I highly recommend trying it. I just wouldn’t suggest to new users 
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My name-embedded custom healing Ultima really threw me into the rough. But I feel like it opened something serious and great. Just as how my custom main unlocked the manifestation ability within.
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what result(s)/ experience would blow you away enough to consider that you’ve been blinded by the light? Like for you personally if your open to sharing.
I’d recommend the ‘All-seeing’ module after that experience lol
I’ve been on both sides of the tracks, absolutely blown away but what happened and almost in awe that a sub caused that. And going weeks- to months- without any over the top results to holler about-just a slow steady progress-that if I wasn’t looking for I might have missed. I think there is actually an art to being able to experience results in that way. I’m experimenting more and if I come up with anything conclusive I’ll post my experience in my journal
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That is actually a really good question to ask.
I used to feel this way, and sometimes I still do.
But at some point, I experienced a kind of meta-epiphany or even anti-epiphany.
It hit me, on a gut-level, that everything is already completely miraculous. I “saw” that the ascription of value ‘normal’ vs ‘abnormal’; ‘special’ vs. ‘ordinary’; was extremely arbitrary and subjective; and most importantly of all, it was a label that was being imposed rather than arising from phenomena themselves.
Thereupon ensued a trippy period of time in which everything looked odd for a while.
I remember one night waking up (I was sleeping on the floor) and the light of the moon shone on me. I woke up and saw that there was this large seemingly white orb just floating in the sky, and it blew my mind. I guess people have more vivid and intense versions of this when taking hallucinogens; but after all, those substances are mimicking endogenous neurochemicals, so it makes sense that sometimes we can just wander into those experiences as well.
Anyway. Over time the experience faded and muted a bit, but it’s one of those things that is never completely gone.
There is nothing at all wrong with seeking out a thrill. I am mainly typing this out to provide a counter-balance. Everything is always, already miraculous, and mysterious. Those dramatic moments and experiences are valuable primarily in making it a bit easier for us to remember this. Remembering this point makes the thrills even more valuable.
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