CFW smooths out the darkness EB:ToG brings but it also blunts the edge it gives you. On top of that, I feel I don’t need this kind of healing right now and I may never need it since those aspects (empathy, sensitivity, deep introspection, compassion, forgiveness) of me have been strong in me for whole my life.
Since I listened to four programs yesterday I’ll be listening only to Paragon tonight.
Edit:
CFW really makes me relaxed and feeling good but at the same time more inwardly focused and, especially, on my emotional side. It doesn’t collide with EB:ToG yet it takes away a bit of its focus on external goals and its dark edge. It’s a great pair but… the priorities.
I’ve just run Paragon and EB:ToG. I would like to see how the latter works when I press the button a bit harder. I also want to get rid of the taste of CFW… I want to be “darker” even though it gets a bit unpleasant from time to time.
The example we have been given of the life and times of Jesus is not the purest and the way most of us relate to him is out of alignment with the intention of his embodiment.
We were given dominion and told to multiply.
We were created in the image of the Creator (and it doesn’t say anywhere in Genesis about being created in ‘Jesus’ image, either).
We were told to love our God with all of our hearts, our minds and souls.
Love your neighbors as you love yourself.
Do unto others as we would have done unto us.
Judge not, lest we be judged.
We were also told that observation would not bring about the kingdom of heaven.
The key, as I’m seeing you’re getting to, is to realize; the kingdom is within you. How we get to realizing that is the journey, is the key.
I woke up a bit groggy in the morning but I shrugged it off doing yoga. I had plenty of vivid dreams last night that indicates a lot of processing occurring in my mind. I definitely feel the dark edge of EB:ToG back that simply means this program overrode CFW. Good since I didn’t need that “sweetie” vibe of CFW and the dark edge is something I can benefit from much more.
Edit:
Now when not diluted by CFW the dark edge of EB:ToG has kicked in really nicely and it feels as if it was tapping into the divine essence in me and employing it once again. It’s as if the stream of my subconscious mind was piercing through an abyss. The focus, the drive, the relentlessness and the sense of power are immense.
Yesterday I let some thing to happen just out of a pure sense that it couldn’t harm me (my manhood). Usually, that kind of things would harm me (and it would harm a lot of men) quite a lot but not this time, I remained cool. The interesting thing is that my mind started penetrating that issue and its implications in our society and at the same time it started looking for the wound that should be there but there was none. It’s like my mind just couldn’t believe that that event didn’t do any harm to me whilst in the past it would create a serious issue in me.
On another note, it’s like Saint said, it looks to me that my psyche is capable of embracing a lot of programming since I can run multiple titles with ease and every day whilst recon nor overload is nowhere to be seen.
EB:ToG has reminded me how important introspection and self-reflection are not only as a tool of growth but also in life in general. Those tools can help improve our subliminal results as well and a lot.
I realized how all my thoughts and feelings, but also everything within “my reality”, are only labels that disturb my sense of purpose. Each label when given more time is like a rabbit hole sucking in my energy and squandering my precious time.
I’ve been seeking to becoming the lord of my reality but here I am, I’m the lord already but I realized it only now. I’m bound by nothing but by my will and mortality. Labels, and especially those put on me by other people, are mere dust.
A Lion doesn’t concerned himself with the opinion of a sheep. - Tywin Lannister
Each day EB:ToG is sinking deeper and deeper into my psyche and although I’ve never thought I could be really dominant and lead this is how this sub in changing me. However, it’s not the traditional alpha mindset and just leadership based on dominating others it’s more about strong self-leadership, moral attitude and wise kindness that people can sense in me and see and that inspires them to respond to me in the way that I can easily tell that it’s true leadership based on respect and admiration I’m getting. That’s what I’ve always secretly desired and that’s what I truly deserve.
The processing got so dense that I had to take a day off yesterday and I’m planning on taking another one today depending on the feel of it. The intensity of my dreams has got really insane it’s like watching several movies I’m the main character of each night.
Yesterday I experienced slight recon in the form of regression but it was nothing I couldn’t manage with ease.
I had been planning on running LD and Sanguine before EB:ToG showed up and now I can easily tell it does the job of both pretty nicely. I see many of limitations have gone and I’m way calmer than I was before.
This is the third day that I’m experiencing slight recon and I can still sense a lot of processing occurring in my head. Yesterday the recon changed its form from regressive to aggressive and it’s manifesting as irascibility. I’m going to take another day off today which will be second.
Edit:
There’s some huge commotion occurring in my psyche that is related to struggle between the light and the darkness… the reevaluation of my values is still in progress and I expect to get out of it stronger than I’ve ever been.
The recon has dissipated and there are earthquakes in my psyche no more. Everything is perfectly still yet again. My spirit is lurking in the depths of a mountain lake. So cold and so dark… so strong and beautiful.
Nonetheless, I’ll be taking one more day off to see how it unfolds.
What do you think caused the recon, what were you struggling most to reconcile during the recon, and what do you think the benefit of the recon was?
Also, do you think that the recon was due to listening to 4 programs in one day, EB:ToG itself, the combo of EB + CFW, or just how much of an internal change is happening for you at the moment?
I think it was caused by overexposure but, as I mentioned, it was slight. There were typical symptoms of recon like regression (feeling off) and then aggression (irascibility). It didn’t differ from the recon I used to get much, however, it was much more manageable then in the past. The main benefit of recon was setting a new “balance” in me that is at a bit “higher level” than the “old balance”. In other words, my usual modus operandi has got a bit improved.
The recon was caused by overexposure to all the programs I’m listening to, I feel, not by any particular program.
Even though I took four days off I’m getting slight recon (in the form of regression) after running my custom and Paragon yesterday. I’m not sure whether it was caused by running my loops only or rather by the fact I’ve been overworked for the last two months and I’m pretty tired mentally most of the time. Anyhow, I’ll be running EB:ToG and Paragon in the evening and taking a day off tomorrow.
I ran my EB:ToG and Paragon yesterday and all the recon dissipated. However, I can still sense pretty intensive processing occurring in my mind, therefore, I’ll be sticking to the plan and taking a day off today. I’m calm, solid and focused yet again and that’s all that matters to me now.
Edit:
The recon is back. It has the very same form that is regression (feeling off and a bit anxious). I should have listened to my mind’s signals and take more days off. I’ll be taking one day off for sure and then I’m going to see how it goes and decide upon the signals.
Edit2:
The recon has passed yet I still feel density in my head, therefore, I’ll be taking a day off today.
The recon has dissipated and the power is back. I’m pretty well-rested. I really needed that. I’ll be taking a day off today anyhow since the processing is still pretty dense.
I’ve got to some new findings on the way the tech affects me. When using it it employs my energy changing its levels. At first, it increases them and that helps my mind process and execute the scripting but if I get overexposed it leads to sort of subliminal apathy in me and my energy levels depletion. Then, if I stop getting exposed, the energy levels get back to normal in some time and I get a feeling of being light and ethereal as if I got released from a heavy mental burden. Then it’s the right time to go back to the exposure. However, that’s not the optimal way of proceeding. It requires of me to gauge the moment just before getting into subliminal apathy and then just waiting that moment out without any exposure and letting the processing unfold. This way I’m getting much better results without that unnecessary apathy and energy levels depletion. That moment is easy to tell since the intensity level of processing and executing the scripting is not hard to tell. Also, the intensity of dreams is a good gauging tool here.
The struggle between the light and shadow in me has got balanced and I have more control over it… that ancient human inner struggle between love and hate, hope and despair, faith and nihilism is not as deep an existential issue for me as it used to be. That struggle got way smoother and it doesn’t cause as much emotional upheavals as it used to. I attribute it to both, my custom and EB:ToG and I’m grateful for that change.
I started to pay more attention to mind and bodily signals when being exposed to the scripting as well as to processing and executing it. Actually, it was more about learning to take them into account as the main factor. As a result I learnt to intuit the right time to get more exposure to the scripting and that produces much better results for me and helps me avoid most of the recon.
Today I’ll be changing Paragon for Quantum Limitless Stage 1. It’s time to get my brain optimized. So my stack will be Optimus (my ZPT custon), EB:ToG and QL St1.
I had two dreams about getting crazy because of becoming two knowledgeable last night. It may be related to some blockages related to unleashing my cognitive potential. I didn’t get the usual recon I would get running a cognitive capacities boosting sub in the past. Good. Also, improvising during my English lessons has become way easier and I see a slight boost in my creativity. In the morning I sensed a hormonal change in my body or maybe something else changing in my body.
