Chase’s freewriting journal

Said in chinese accent lol.

Check this one out. He’s a total Gangsta and undersfood women:

2 Likes

Oh snap that’s brutal but so damn real :+1: :skull:

1 Like

Damn straight!

1 Like

3m EoG1

Recon came out in me being uptight as well as being hyperactive and burned out.

For example, choosing the “right” 2nd sub became a chore. To me it feels like the stake is high and the consequences of misjudgment are dire. It is because with only EoG1 the goal, the intention/focus and the manifestations are clear; I am guarding this clarity like a knight.

A few subs kinda click with me but none of them click fully. Always something amiss. A couple of non wealth subs brought presults easily, it seemed to be a sign that they would work smoothly with me, yet somehow when I imagined adding them I felt guilty they were not wealth sub, and they couldn’t directly complementing EoG1. Moreover they came out in 2023/early 2024 make me can’t help but think they are outdated/not as good as the new subs. The same goes to a couple of wealth subs. E.g. the latest update of HoM was in 2022.

Then there is this peculiar me issue where the official cover art affects how I feel about a sub. I am not kidding when I say I take that into account when choosing a sub.

Felt a serious push to do something regarding real wealth generation. Spent nearly the whole night listening + watching to business and financial podcasts and videos as well as doing research nonstop. Cramming all the information I could find. The brain was too hyper to rest even when I was tired. Towards the end I actually was going through the motions since comprehension was real low after the first couple of hours.

Thinking of going back to basic and use standard store majors. Began to wonder why hanging up myself on new module pack and spend the amount of money on customs when standard store subs get updated first and regularly.

Tired of having options, too many of them lead me directionless/astray. Experiencing decision paralysis.

1 Like

7m EoG1

Had a better sleep the past two nights. It’s likely due to that I am in a better mood overall. Also it seems for some reason 7m brought less recon than 5m. IIRC Saint mentioned that happened to some people as longer loop might contain scripts that users clicked easier (paraphrasing).

I saw a member mentioned he had been here since SubClub was built (since 2018), yet he was still Ascended. Somehow I found that comforting and touching. Growing up modern day society categorizes us into separate groups or levels/tiers, I am so used to it that my brain automatically associates certain status or authority etc. to certain labels subconsciously. But with the help of EoG1 (and maybe presults of TWTP), I now slowly shift or being unveiled my perspective. It’s not a competition. One can absolutely be a valuable member without any of those fancy levels. Let’s not conflate the superficial outward behaviors or titles with real contributions with substances as well as faithfulness.

Basically narrowed down the 2nd sub to either KB1 or QL1. New Ascension is also a contender but have to wait to see the description. I am already having QL1 precon; the no.1 recon/precon of cognitive subs to me is brain fog. When I spoke/typed/wrote I didn’t really know what I was doing linguistically.

1 Like

15m EoG1 with Winner Overdrive

Even though the last cycle began two weeks ago I decided to join Saint and others for a washout during the holidays to further relax my mind. This way I also synchronized my cycle with others for the up coming subs/a 2nd sub.

For the past few days life was overall okay. The pressure tolerance was still not high in me though (e.g. duty or planning felt like a formidable task). There was one (small) incident that got me reflecting on how me and others view the same event from a glass half empty vs half full, and how I couldn’t help but jumped to the worst conclusion when others were opened to a more positive explanation.

From time to time when I was thinking to add a non wealth sub during the EoG1 session a voice would remind me to focus on wealth and not to get astray. Due to the hype of the upcoming Wanted Dream Boy I thought about using it during the holiday season but apparently EoG1 vetoed it lol

Felt not like sharing my thoughts or detailing experiences online these days. Don’t know why but, especially during the 15m loop session, I felt like my thoughts, reflections and ideas were mine alone and should keep them private.

Not visiting/interacting in the forum as much as I used to as at the moment there isn’t some subs that click with me fully. I guess I have clarity on my goal (when not in recon lol) to keep me from FOMO.

1 Like