Chase’s freewriting journal

Day 13 of washout.

Ordered the name embedded Hero Earth with the Inner Spa on the weekend. Couldn’t even wait for Monday to do so.

I am really looking forward to it. The description of RICH shows the amount of prosperity is determined by the tolerance of one’s nervous system. From experience I’d say it goes way beyond wealth. A weak nervous system wrecks all kinds of opportunities and merits in life. At its worst, one couldn’t even accept kindness or respect.

In Hero The Light that Blinds, it is said that everything has a its cycle, there is no rush in seasons etc. And I began to see it. There are things once overlooked that now are attracting my attention. Just like things once pulled me towards them no longer hold the same force. Some we’ve outgrown, some we learn to appreciate.

Anyway it is Spring season and the perfect time to listen to ST1 Earth. On top of that since The Inner Spa is akin to ST2 Water, which is Summer, this custom will easily stay for 6 months in my stack.

I wasn’t sure if it was time to move on from EoG1 but after reading the New RICH description, I am willing to take a leap. My stack after washout is Hero Earth (with the Inner Spa) and RICH.

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Ended a three-week washout with 3m12s HERO 1 Earth with The Inner Spa.

Decided that I will focus this cycle on Hero1Earth with the traditional listening schedule - 21 listening day (or fewer) followed by 5 rest day (or more).

Since (before) listening to C&C, I had a feeling that I wasn’t ready for more wealth subs. In fact the more advanced the wealth sub was the bigger the gap between it and me.

Have been thinking on and off for awhile on how to move forward with my life. Got insights and illuminations from different sources:

Essentially, it’s about accepting myself as not yet being where or who I wish to be in life. And recognizing that it’s okay to move at my own pace and follow my own seasons.

I’ve this feeling of being left behind. I also had the belief that every life event was binary: either/or, this or that. You either make it or you don’t; you either are or you aren’t.

If someone wastes ten years and falls behind, then in the eleventh year they have to make up for everything they missed over the past decade plus the current year. That’s how I internalized progress in life - a relentless push from behind, with me struggling to drag myself forward, while the clock is ticking.

None of it matters now. The sources above have shed light on my blind spots. I grant myself the space to pause, to breathe, and to let my body and mind relax.

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Granted access to SubClub Black through the HERO1Earth with The Inner Spa. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I had imagined that senior or legacy members or those who used to be very active but I haven’t seen around for a while would be there. A little disappointed to find that many of them seem to have left the forum.

On one hand, I got it. I myself don’t frequent or participate in the forum as much as I used to. On the other hand, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of nostalgia. On the brighter side, it makes me even more appreciative of the members who have remained active all this time.

Initially, I was a bit underwhelmed, but then a vivid thought struck me: instead of feeling this way, I could contribute to making the community more vibrant. Then I reminded myself SubClub Black is locked for a reason—contributions there should be held to a higher standard, ideally wiser and more insightful. It dawned on me that, like tending a garden, I can help shape the space by planting seeds, nurturing growth, and watering the community with meaningful contributions. And this insight applies beyond this forum, it applies everything in life.

I don’t like to admit my flaws (and weaknesses), but the truth is, I used to get upset when people I disliked doing well in life. I tried to suppress these feelings, consciously practicing happiness for their success, but deep down, I wished to see them make a fool out of themselves. The loathing only compounded when I turned inward, disappointed in myself for harboring such ugly thoughts.

Recently, I came across a post from an acquaintance showing off. The familiar pang of envy arose, and I found myself imagining his downfall. Then, a clear voice cut through my thoughts: Can you only succeed by seeing others fail? Just like that, the envy and grudges dissolved. A new perspective installed. I suddenly saw the merit in this acquaintance’s achievements and recognized that he had put in the effort one way or another. It was my own insecurities, biases and emotions clouding my judgment.

Now, I see him and others as sources of inspiration, even positive competition. Their achievements are not a threat but sources of motivation. I don’t lose to them; I gain the chance to appreciate their success and learn from it.

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Such a lovely post!

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1m30s Hero1Earth.

This cycle I am sticking to only (semi) microloops - 30s to 3mXs - one day on one day off with a 21 day (or shorter) schedule followed by 5 rest days (or longer).

Minor recon came in the form of heightened sensitivity to noise, reluctance to go to bed, and browsing, watching, scrolling etc. even though I was sleepy. Also from time to time slight shoulders soreness.

Began practicing loosening as well as kids exercises each morning - starting slow and simple lol

Intuitively started taking Taurine first thing in the morning with a large glass of water.

Found that meditation works better after the aforementioned exercises; clearer mind, and sharper focus.

Began taking small breaks throughout the day. Engaging on breathing and let my eyes and my mind rest for several minutes.

I’m not asking for much or putting any pressure on what Hero1 might bring me. In fact it is the opposite, my intention is simply to relax and release. I am practicing the above routines in a flexible not rigid way.

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Would definitely help. Had been eyeing those folds and trifolds but man the prices are sky high.

Hopefully one day i will get me one of those. Not only for their utility in terms of being easier on the eye but being a smartphone geek haha.

Took the liberty of continuing the convo on your journal so as to not derail the Season 4 thread.

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@Lion Yea good thinking to continue our conversation here👍

The price of the phones these days are out of control. At this rate I have to sell both kidneys to get one lol My approach is to get previous one generation flagship then use it for four to five years to maximum benefits lol

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ROFL!

Haha so true.

Although I hate buying last generation phones even though I know they aren’t that different from whatever current generation we are talking about.

In fact am still rocking my Samsung Note 20 Ultra. It’s a great phone. Have to replace the battery though since it is showing signs of deterioration. But if I had the money, I would update every year. Am a fanatic in that department. Watching tech reviews and all. Explains why I did Computer Engineering lol.

Talking about phone brands, these chinese phones are looking good. Even though am very much a Samsung Knight.

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I agree the hardwares of Chinese phones seem advanced but have reservation about those semi malwares/spywares. I used to be an android guy; flashing roms and kernels to get a slim down software body as well as customization. Shame on brands these days locking bootloaders. XDA is not what it used to be lol

Having said that I am thinking to go back to it. In fact I am eyeing Samsung as my next phone👀

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That’s a good point.

For me, I very much dislike the ads and spam apps on these Chinese phones. Dad has a MI phone and the ads on those piss me off even during the very little time I have to help him with that phone.

Oh that’s really cool! I haven’t done much hacking on my android phones but used to try it on older Nokia phones with the Symbian OS.

Was pretty happy with android. Even liked Samsunv Touch Wiz even though most people dislike it.

One UI is what I really like about Samsung and what keeps me with this brand. I always find something lacking in other OS’ and skins.

If money was no issue right now, I would go for the Samsung Fold 7. Although to be frank I would wait for the 8 just in case it is better pr you wanted to purchase the Fold 7 with slashed prices by then.

The Samsung Ultra isn’t as exciting as before but still reliable. A safer bet compared to the fold in terms of maintaining it and not having to worry (too much) about breaking the screen and repair costs of foldables.

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That was part of the reason to root a phone so that adaway could be installed in system level and had a clean rom where spamwares would be uninstalled or removed in the first place.

You can look into dns servers like NextDNS or ControlD (both have free tiers available and I am using it) to block server ads and trackers. But there is a chance certain functions might be blocked or widgets not working since those spam wares in Chinese phones are fully integrated with the os.

Yes Ultra is the one I am looking at. Honestly the costs of foldables are too out of the range and I would baby it to death to the point I wouldn’t dare using it outside of my bed lol

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God willing I get my eyes back, I will do all this stuff. In my current situation doing such things is difficult.

Good choice!

The Pixel 10 Pro XL is great as well. Clean softwares and Gemini. But not a big fan of its chipset.

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Have faith brother. I truly believe you are going to have them back good. There are ways from installing to wearing new tech gadgets. And there are the traditional medicines and exercises. You’ve got it :+1:

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Thank you brother.

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3m Hero1Earth with The Inner Spa.

Before each listening session and my short morning meditation, I reaffirm my intention - to release all traumas, weights, and trapped emotions from both my body and psyche, so that I may be light and renewed.

Hero 1 Earth is about mastering a craft. The craft I am cultivating is learning and applying very simple techniques and exercises for relieving anxiety and stress.

Slowly I came to realize that there is no time like the present to address my traumas. I used to think that after event X or incident Y was dealt with successfully, I’d finally be able to move on and feel free. Yet there will always come external circumstances or inner struggles, if we allow them to dictate when we can finally relax, that moment will never arrive.

I can tell my nervous system and by extension emotions safely releasing as flashes of the past rise and fade. Also cursing myself a little more than before (compared to when I say listened to EOG1) but unlike how it used to be (compared to say the early days at SubClub), those curses are gentler and make no dent.

Physically I am becoming aware of more pain and misalignment. This is progress as surely those issues have always been present but I was too numb or I was suppressing them so deeply I didn’t notice.

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4m Hero1Earth, took two rest day, 30s on the fourth day.

Continuing with my morning exercise routine.

H1E revealed that my posture was consistently misaligned and tense, my breathing patterns irregular, and that I was clinging to dissociation as a way to endure daily life.

Looking back, there were times when I experienced severe neck and shoulder pain that seemed to appear out of nowhere. My muscles would lock so tightly that I couldn’t move my neck or shoulders. Now, with H1E, I realized those episodes didn’t happen suddenly; they had always been there. My mind had simply grown accustomed to the tension and treated it as normal until everything reached a breaking point.

These days, my body is far more sensitive to misalignment. Postures I used to hold for hours now last no more than thirty minutes before discomfort or slight pain makes me aware of the imbalance.

My sleep quality has never been great. Yet recently, I’ve been waking up acutely aware of my breathing, or the lack of it. At times it feels as though I don’t know how to breathe; one moment I take a deep breath accompanied by chest pain, the next I’m gasping in short, shallow bursts.

I need to relearn how to breathe properly and consciously, following the guidance and rhythms from instructional videos.

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Since my goal is relieving or better yet eliminating anxiety, tensions, panics etc. from my physical body and emotional psyche, mindfulness is bound to be a daily practice/reminder.

I am still affected by external circumstances. Those things can be as simple as receiving and replying an email with an issue I don’t want to deal with or hearing from relatives some less than happy updates.

Still I remind myself to stay committed to my current path, focusing on my practice and refusing to be distracted or led astray by outside influences. One step at a time.

As Jesus says “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

*Anxiety and overthinking is a habit, which can be broken.
*You are addicted to thinking because thinking gives you illusion of control.
*A undisciplined mind love dramas.
*Emotion is energy is motion; it becomes permanent when you trap it with thinking.
*Attention is your most valuable currency; wherever it goes, your life goes.
*When the mind is noisy, do something physical.
*You are not a story. You are awareness. You a presence.
*Every time you lost in you head, return to anchors - Breath, sound, body sensation, sound etc.
*A person who cannot control their mind is easy to manipulate.
*Peace comes when you accept reality and train your response.
*The reason you are living in your head is because you are avoiding responsibility.
*Action can reveal your true level; thinking can hide you.
*Living in your head destroys you; you will create entire movies about people.
*Confidence is something you build by keeping promises to yourself and by speaking with integrity inside your own mind.
*Direction is stronger than motivation. Direction brings you back to reality.
*Do not chase permanent silence; chase skill.

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Started the second cycle (using the 21-day schedule with 5 rest days) after 5 rest days.

5mins of HERO1Earth with the Inner Spa.

Slight recon in insomnia. Yet even with little sleep, I feel quite awake and not overly tired.

Compared to other subs I’ve used, H1E runs quite smoothly. I’m not sure whether that’s due to anti-recon scripting or simply because the physical aspect has never really been a kryptonite for me - not because I’m particularly healthy, strong, or good-looking, but rather because I really don’t place much importance on it; my mind tends to focus on more pressing concerns.

From my perspective, physical subs are also less clear-cut than, say, wealth subs. To me, wealth subs often manifest in a very binary way (money either arrives or it doesn’t), so my mind was always consciously or subconsciously scanning for signs of wealth. With physical subs, however, I have no expectations; I simply let them unfold naturally.

Today out of nowhere I really clicked/resonated with this picture (courtesy of @dreamingheroes ):point_down:

Clipped_image_20251229_070626

All my life, I’ve had this blind spot: I kept waiting for the “right” moment, the “right” conditions, or the “right” mood before making change. For instance, in the picture, if it were me, I’d think, if only I could afford a piano, then I’d practice every day and make the most of it. Or if only I moved out and had my own apartment, then I could finally take charge of my life and be free.

But life doesn’t really work that way. If, like the guy in the picture, I only take action when circumstances feel “good enough,” I’ll never achieve anything - because I’d never ever even begin in the first place. We all have got to start somewhere.

H1E has made me realize that instead of waiting passively or letting external factors and other people dictate my path, I can take the lead myself. I now get vividly that I am able to actively shaping circumstances and I am capable of influencing others positively. No need to wait I have what it takes to be a trailblazer and be the role model for my family :weight_lifting_man: 🧗‍♂ :man_dancing:

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1m30s HERO1Earth. Gonna take three rest days.

Over the past cycle, and continuing into this one, I’ve found that the rhythm of one longer loop, followed by a rest day, then one shorter loop, and two to three rest days, and repeating, works quite well overall.

After exploring and experimenting with a variety of simple exercises, I’ve identified a few sets that resonate with my body. These will remain my staples for the foreseeable future.

H1E has been awakening me to value small, straightforward practices and applications as well as releasing the impatience in me to rush into more complex matters. I am enjoyIng building a foundation at my own relaxing pace.

Trusting more deeply in “As Within So Without” in the sense that the more lucid my inner world are (through elementary but constructive physical practices), the more harmonious the outer affairs will be. It doesn’t even have to be understood solely through spiritual lens. It can be explained just as well psychologically and physiologically.

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Perhaps this is H1E inviting me to embrace myself fully, or maybe it is a calling from something higher. Either way, I’ve been feeling a gentle nudge to use my full name in customs.

I’ve come across several posts here from members who forgo their first or legal names in favor of middle names or nicknames, both in customs and daily life. Somehow, some reported that although their first or legal names carried negative connotations, using those names in customs made the customs feel more powerful and fruitful.

Like them, my first name carries memories of being reprimanded by family and authority figures, and of being diminished by those around me. I legally dropped it years ago, hoping to let go the pain and memories and refocus on a new self.

Yet, for the reasons mentioned above, I find myself wondering whether I should embrace my full name again (not legally, since there’s no point in constantly changing official documents), but in a sacred way, such as in customs and prayers.

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