What about microloops?
I’m having a low-level recon still from yesterday, so I’m considering maybe doing a 3 minute microloop of LBFH by itself tomorrow. Maybe even shorter. Stacking all that love on to “let’s disinigrate these ultra-limiting beliefs” was too much. It wasn’t pure hell. It was just too much to process so quickly.
I’m also considering @Sub.Zero’s suggestion on switching back to CFW along with Ascension (I’m leaning towards Primal since it was fun.) I’m looking at how CFW worked for me, and moreso what I didn’t even notice. I noticed a lot. I just wasn’t stuck in recon again and again. I found this on the CFW sales page:
“Chosen From Within also contains a large amount of upgraded scripted from Sanguine, to help make the healing process as peaceful and pleasurable as possible.” Most of my time on CFW was pretty manageable.
I’ve also not had an answer to your repeated statements that I’m different from a year ago. Nothing’s really clicked as a reason.
But this feature in CFW made a lot of sense emotionally to me, as I was doing this. I didn’t think anything about it as I progressed with it::
“That’s why Chosen From Within includes an incredible amount of new original scripting that encourages you to view the past through the lens of wisdom, knowledge and understanding, helping you to mentally reframe those experiences as opportunities for growth. Through this process, you’ll learn more about who you are, what you’ve experienced and how to use these lessons to navigate the world in a more powerful, positive manner going forward. This doesn’t mean that you’ll suddenly forgive everyone who wronged you and become overly meek or kind. On the contrary, you’ll experience a sense of peaceful acceptance that what has happened has happened, but now you are armed with the knowledge (and ability to apply that knowledge) to prevent those situations from ever happening again.” (emphasis mine)
Now that I think about it, I got stuck with CFW since I didn’t have a mental framework for ambition and growth. I’ve repressed it so often, thinking it would eliminate the “me” in my past.
I’m considering CFW. I’m undecided on Ascension vs. Primal. It’s literally ambition…or lust? Hmmm. Not the worst 1st world problem to have.
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Finding and following your purpose or having fun with women. From what I see, you have a vague idea on your purpose and goals, even your identity. Are you really ready to invite women to your life? It could do you more damage than you think. It COULD.
Ascension is not only about finding your purpose but also your identity as a man, and a human being. That’s what you need the most given all I’ve read from you:
ASCENSION will help you develop a sense of identity-level deep, genuine, unshakeable self-confidence, prompting you to become self-reliant both mentally and emotionally.
And these are the relevant objectives:
- Embark on an inner journey to discover who you really are and what you want out of life.
- Experience what masculinity truly means for you, your goals, your desires.
- Become empowered to take control of your life and future.
- Unleash your sense of inner power, grow your independence, willpower and confidence.
This alone is the fix you’ve needed for your whole life. Stop hiding from yourself and lying to yourself. It’s time to embrace all this crap as a MAN.
Plus, the best bonus ever:
- Develop and Embrace a physically and emotionally healthy lifestyle.
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Responsibility. That’s what I wasn’t seeing when you claimed I was different.
I’ve been thinking of my mindset while on CFW this last 24 hours, and I felt this drive to get up and face things this morning vs. avoiding and ultimately creating stress and worry.
I felt good…secure in my choices, not tangled with whiny self-sabotage. CFW takes away that poor-me victim fallback. This leads to what any self-respecting person would feel led to do, which is to take responsibility for themselves.
@Sub.Zero, thank you for seeing this difference in mentalities and choices I’ve made. I realize that that same avoidant mentality is playing lawyer games with me, saying “it’ll be easier over here”. Ascension is what I need, and also what I want when I really think on it. Thank you for the encouragement.
I did no loops this morning. Slight pangs of recon still.
Being responsible for myself is an adjustment by itself. One day at a time.
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How about 30 seconds?
If you were to change to CFW, what would your playlist look like?
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Likely just CFW and Ascension initially. I’m attracted to the Genesis/Ascension combo to possibly be released in the future, and I’d switch Ascension out for that good mix when it shows up.
I’ll also be using AC since it had some profound effects when using it with CFW.
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I will admit I’m glad I’ll be using Ascension again. I’ve been growing angry lately–because I don’t speak up for myself much. I’m tired of allowing people to be flipping rude to me. Some of it’s those little putdowns that I’ve allowed. I’m becoming aware people only do it because I’ve never stood up for myself much at all.
I remember an outburst I had with a co-worker months back. I’d been using Emperor for weeks, and I stood up for myself loudly while working together.
It shocked both of us–but he heard me. Memorable moments.
Edit: it wasn’t even the freedom to be angry which shocked me. It was that I allowed myself to stand up for myself. That’s what felt like a true first.
Aug. 31, 2023
CFW and AC this morning
I listened to CFW and AC this morning. Feeling some shifting around, but it’s quiet.
It feels like something is being pulled away from me. I don’t know what or why. This title does make me introspect more.
I’ll listen to Ascension tonight.
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Could you kindly elaborate more on that, please?
Thanks. 
That story actually begins back in 2011.
Me and my wife had separated, and I’d began using The Healing Codes to hopefully heal some emotional baggage of mine. I shared this here on the forum years ago. I devoted a lot of time to this since I realized it was possible.
Then, maybe a month after starting, I woke up and had a childhood memory come to mind–but I didn’t feel overrun by fear and terror. None at all. I was maybe 2 years old, standing in my crib crying out, and my mom walked by, dazed by her own traumas in that time. I knew this was a root to why I felt abandoned and feared abandonment constantly.
Again, my emotions weren’t hijacked when I remembered this, and that was huge.
The connection to AC is that about 3-4 months ago, I was using CFW, and one morning I added AC to it. I’d never used it with CFW before.
I was on the back of a garbage truck that day, and suddenly I remembered that same memory I shared above. No onslaught of fear. No feeling helpless. It was like I was just witnessing my own experience without all the emotion.
So that’s why I added it today. As I sit here now, I’m getting the nudge to… let this go. Tears came. Can I close this door?
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Listening to Ascension now.
I am here, remembering how much different and stronger it made me.
But this doesn’t feel like “then”. It feels like now. I am stronger.
I’m glad to be using this.
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AC is at work with CFW. Saint said AC makes one open to change, and what showed up today has never happened with CFW before.
Last weekend, I’d read Saint’s posts about struggling with the forgiveness scripting in CFW. I thought about it, but it wasn’t hitting me (I only resumed CFW yesterday).
Something hit me today though. I’ve been excessively angry thinking about my housemate. He’s critical and judgemental towards nearly everyone, plus I’m 200 short for rent (unexpected), which is due today. I’ve gotten hostile in my thinking towards him, and I was ready to tell him I’m done living there. I’ve only seen him belittling me, and I wasn’t going to fucking take it.
However, to allow CFW to activate here, I’ve imagined me confronting him. I did so since I know something isn’t working right in my life. I was open to change.
While imagining this, I felt my heart. I felt my anger. I felt my vengeance. I also began feeling the pain from keeping everyone out of my life.
I realized I’ve hated him since he’s as unforgiving as I am. His is just loud and glaring. That pisses me off.
And…I keep seeing and feeling this resentment littered all through my life.
My brothers.
My mother.
Friends.
I could fill this thread with people and questionable “reasons” I hold hatred towards them. I won’t.
I even remembered other subliminal healing journeys today. I’ll sum it up with…when I’ve began letting those hateful barriers down, I’ve attracted loving and caring people to me. Plus I’ve cried a LOT. I broke into tears a couple of times today, and one time it was heavy crying for seconds while driving alone.
It is still making me soft. Like almost crying while a guy spoke to me. His eyes had this misty look, and tears almost came from mine. I sense my separation from others, and I’m tired. Holding grudges takes a lot of energy.
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Well, CFW is working.
I deleted my post hours ago. I got sick of my own whining. Believing I can not do something myself has been my norm.
I’m disgusted by it.
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Sep. 3, 2023
Rest day
I am actually seeing steady results with CFW. I keep trying to follow daily patterns of avoiding responsibility and awareness of my actions, and I’m not being successful.
This is good. No. It’s really really good.
Because I’m not crucifying myself. Not at all. I just “feel” able to handle things minute by minute. Making positive choices is easy when I’m not kicking my own ass constantly.
Those little choices say everything to me. Taking responsibility in the small choices is huge.
This is very, very good. 
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Sep. 3, 2023
First day of washout
I’m glad I put this in my journal, because I haven’t been tracking days for the cycle. I found a post where I was prepping for the last one, and I did the math.
Sep. 1st was 21 days, and I listened yesterday. This is my first day of washout.
Now, 3 or 5 days? Saint made a comment in his journal recently, so I’ll go scan it.
Edit: I didn’t find it in Saint’s journal, but he made a comment in recent months that 3 day washouts might be better than 5 day washouts. I remember not having time to read the whole post, so I’m wondering if it is true.
Sep. 4, 2023
2nd day of washout
I found Saint’s post about washout.
I’ll likely do a 3 day washout. Other users reported positive results with them.
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I’m trying to write, noticing I abandon my feelings sometimes to make a point. Feelings often aren’t logical or practical in many ways, which is why don’t feel included by “rules and procedures” types. Ie: some administrative types.
I’ve used this survival strategy the vast majority of my life, and when I began writing today, I noticed me trying to unhinge myself from my emotions (disassociating, actually) since emotions are a big part of me. I make all my major decisions by consulting them.
And honestly, I’ve tried to hide this from myself and everyone else all my life. I tried to be 2 different people, depending on who I was talking to. With mixed groups, I’ll be superficial and will talk to almost anyone. But it’s incredibly shallow. And dishonest as well. I can’t bear putting on that front, which is why I purposely choose small circles or individuals, if that’s possible.
But with unemotional “just-the-facts” type, I give facts, but damn, it’s stressful since living like that makes me abandon myself regularly. I did it with some prior jobs, pulling out eventually. I don’t think, live, or breathe like that in any way. (I probably do. It’s just not my forte).
I allowed my thoughts to drift after that, wondering (but actually knowing) I’ve always thought “good jobs are found when I’m not myself”.
I’m wondering if I’m following a poor job choice since little creativity is required.
A sure irony is I usually teach my daily coworkers I enjoy my job since I like creating solutions and avenues to get the job done. I literally tell them that 99% of what we do does not have to done in exact ways. I open the door for them to be creative too. I love it when I see it. Otherwise, the job would be insanely boring.
Well…
Maybe this stack is working like I’ve wanted one to. I’m admitting things aren’t to my liking in my life AND I’m actually looking at myself to consider other options. CFW is still bumping up against internal “no’s” to change, and I really, really hope to see some internal changes come over me. I’ll restart with CFW and AC on Wednesday, so I have some hope.
@RVconsultant, I’d not planned for DR with this. Is DR once a week too much with CFW and Ascension? I’ll do some reading myself to check.
Edit: Just found this on the CFW sales page:
- May not stack well with other strong healing titles, like Dragon Reborn.
It says MAY not. It’s doesn’t say it won’t.
Perhaps practice caution.
What is your listening schedule for the next 2 weeks?
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My regular practice is CFW in the morning, then Ascension in the evening. AC once a week.
1 loop each, every other day.
Edit: I’ve done micro loops maybe 3 times months back, so not with this stack. I’ve been curious about a 7 minute loop of either. Or both.
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Also…and this is a nudge I’m feeling myself.
I just was reading the pro-tips for CFW. Says it works well with True Sell or DareDevil. I am having memories of liking being around people on some subs, and Stark stood out. I enjoyed people’s presence, and me being around them was desirable by me. I’ve wondered about True Social since my “comfort zone” feels smaller and smaller, especially when I’m running healing subs.
I did seek counsel on using Emperor vs. Ascension 2-3 days back since I knew I was discrediting myself due to internal success blocks. I was advised to stay on Ascension, which I agree with for finding one’s purpose and ambition. But living in a metaphorical box finds me wanting to bust out.
So I’m seeking how to challenge myself.
Note: I’m feeling a pain of me whining here. Something may be shifting now, as I deleted my last post which mentioned me desiring to break out of this prison I’ve put myself in.