Can a narcissist truly heal?

But then when there are comorbidities, whole other ball game. :flushed:

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What do you think is the root cause of narcissist behavior?

What do you think?!

I know for sure that if you were raised by a narcissist then you may learn thru example from them.

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Correct :ok_hand:

From my personal experience and observations of them it comes back to the parents.

#1 Neglect from either the father or mother

#2 Shame for “Not Feeling Good Enough” in the eyes of their parents. This is why they love the attention of social media.

#3 Entitled behavior from the lack of care and attention from both of their parents for not addressing the the shame and neglect.

Most of the times they come from a broken homes

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This.:point_up:

It was said by someone on YouTube that a narcissistic was an empath who checked out, who couldn’t cope with their chaotic environment of being scapegoated, treated like shit and forced to endure cruel treatment.

Both my parents are narcissistic, several women I’ve had relationships with were narcissistic and a recent female work colleague (once I knew their upbringing) could be described as having narcissistic traits.

The likelihood of any genuine narcissist healing up is close to zero. It is a anathema for them to look inside and see the utter worthlessness within and decide to clean it up. Better to project it outwards and find a dumping ground to relieve oneself.

As a “target” of violent NPD parents, it’s much better to cut your losses. The array of tricks a narcissist employs just to get an angry reaction out of you is not worth your own sanity and health.

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In other words: you trying to “save” narcisst? :slight_smile:

Narcissists are horrible to deal with. My mother in law is one, she caused a lot of problems for my wife and she’s been a real issue at times in the relationship too. What I’ve noticed is they can’t take the truth. They do everything they can to avoid it, believing their own lies even when it is so obvious what their true motives are for doing what they do. If you corner them and question their BS they are quick to deny and turn the blame on you for everything and then wipe you from their lives.

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Probably some lingering saviour complex in me.

I’ve attempted this and they said “as god as my witness” and would say “god judges inward” & other things along those lines.

They straight up stole my safe money and continue to deny it.

That’s the biggest bother for me.

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& it seems they enjoy watching you feel scared, threatened and/or worried, which was triggered by their tactics. Followed by them being the one to comfort you and pull you in for more. :flushed:

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Exactly my point.

Only if you allow: narcissistic, as well as other “types” (including alcoholics) are usually entangled in dynamics with people who want to “save” them.

Therefore, its not about narcissist “can be healed or not” its about person, who tries to “save” them.

An emotion of hopelessness and impotence are two that accompany “saviour”.

Result? No, narcissist cannot be cured unless he/she sincerely seek help.

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I wonder what could be done to promote them to face their truth and do the work…

For starters, enablers to stop feeding into it. Saviour hero complex.

I’m certainly not those things, but I grew up with a mom who had chronic health issues along with apparent mental health difficulties, whilst my dad was gone a lot working or with his friends/brothers hunting. He was having an emotional affair and my mom kicked him out when I was about 6 years old. (Moms story)

He came back, but eventually they separated when I was 12. My mom had her own emotional affairs as well. It seems they both had narc tendencies but overall weren’t terrible people.

I tried to fix their problems.
My mom used to put me in the middle by having me call my dad for things like child support after they separated.

I left home at 14.

A lot of lies and confusion.

I started therapy at 14 and became obsessed with trying to fix and help people. I got really good at it but at what cost for myself?

I guess it’s difficult because the person I dated had a lot of great qualities and was super loving towards my kids.

Maybe I was trying to relive my childhood through the men I dated.

Morning rantings with coffee :crazy_face:

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You working as psychologist/psychiatrist?

My major was psychology which was studied extensively with a focus mostly on personality disorders and abnormal behaviour/family dynamics.

I studied and practiced many forms of therapy, counselling and intervention processes during my schooling and in my career.

I am a Child & Youth Worker.

I also studied trauma informed yoga, Reiki Mastery & Spiritual Healing.

Edit: I resigned from my career to start a coaching/healing business. I met this guy around then and likely became codependent due to his persona of being a multi millionaire, who wanted to provide and support my journey. :crazy_face:

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Cool, good background.

EDIT: I read your intention behind your post wrongly.

Secondary gains, unfulfilled wishes… a whole life can be invested in something which cannot be solved.

Multimillionär is a good shot :laughing:

WhY nOt JuSt AcCePt HiM aS He Is?! :slight_smile:

(Disappearing in woods).

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It is a noble goal to want to save others. But we have to also remember the cost to our own time, money, energy and the possibility of being taken advantage of.

Must admit that when I read your post, it gave me the first impression of a girl trying to save a badboy. This cliche happens too many times to be ignored. The other side of the saving complex is the nice guy in the friendzone trying to save the girl from the man she is attracted to by trying to purchase her affections with gifts, being her confidant, etc.

Both don’t work and both the girl trying to save the badboy (narcissist or not) and the nice guy trying to save the girl he likes but who doesn’t reciprocate his affections, are two sides of the same coin.

No matter how noble their goals look, it is most likely to end in more frustration and heartbreak.

You might not think of him romantically right now but some emotional attachment is still there.

Reminds me of the time I tried to win a couple of women over in my younger days. Thankfully I didn’t waste money on it but lost loads of time and energy that I could have put into self-improvement.

If you want to do a noble thing like this, I recommend you charge for it. Yes really. At least you get money for your efforts.

Even people who look for physical healing are charged by energy healers, meditation gurus and the such. So why not charge for your services? Be a professional. And most likely you will study for it and be serious about it. You can also be sure if you are really passionate about saving people from their own dark emotional and mental sides if you are willing to put in the work. Else you know that this just is a passing phase or that some part of you want him to return to you.

Frankly, I would advise you to focus on yourself. If your self-improvement inspires others to change, you have benefitted both yourself and them. I think that’s the best way to change others really. Be an example. Show them that it can be done with your own life.

If your living example doesn’t change the person who needs the change by showing him or her what’s possible, nothing else will.

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What if the bad boy is also the nice guy too in disguise?

“Love bombing”

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On the other side, I could have also said “What if the girl I like actually really likes nice guys and not bad boys”.

I would be deluding myself. We have to see the actions people perform and judge them by that.

Judging is good because it helps us make decisions that are useful to us.

For example, you identified the person as a narcissist but want to save him.

Why? Maybe you do have a touch of savior complex. Or because narcissists, evolutionarily speaking, tend to survive more than nice guys. Which explains why convicts gets loads of love letters when they are in prison.

But we can go on and on about this. In the end, only you can decide what is worth your time. We can only advise.

My advise is, cut your losses while you are still at this moment in time.

Either way, I wish you luck.

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Yes.

Explain?