Can a narcissist truly heal?

Questions and Comments
#1

While embarking on the subliminal journey I’ve found myself researching more from my psychology background. Exploring around. Collecting data.

I’ve seen a lot out there relating to the narcissistic:empathic dynamic.

How to recover from narcissistic abuse.

How to stop being a victim.

How to break the codependent dynamic.

How to stop trauma bonding.

Why in the first place you’ve attracted this and what it tells you about your self concept/esteem/worth. Your own childhood trauma and inner programming.

I’m curious what can be done to help the “narcissist” for their own recovery and healing. They clearly had a traumatic childhood. They may have learned as a byproduct of their environment or maybe were born predisposed and then early conditioning lead to its formation. Many theories.

They say it’s incurable.

So much stigma on how the narcissist never changes and to run.

That sounds like avoidance and evading.

The endless cycle keeps repeating. Onto the next “victim”.

The victim continuing to see the narc in an unloving light. Continuing to feed the viscous cycle by talking about it and feeding the sickness. Focusing on problems but not solutions.

Where does it end?

It’s like a parasite of some form. A spiritual sickness of some form.

What’s the metaphysical cause behind narcissism?

When did it first become a thing in history?

If we can supposedly heal anything, then why hasn’t this been healed. Is there literature on any success stories of narcissistic people who actually recovered and truly healed? I’m talking actual NPD. Not just narc traits.

I understand there’s a spectrum and we all have some narcissistic qualities, but there has to be something here maybe not yet discovered.

Even mood disorders or all these other “chemical imbalances.”

If we get to the roots and truly heal that, wouldn’t it possible to not need medication and be able to explore the world of subliminals or other alternative modalities and have a fully balanced healthy life?

Hope my rantings are welcomed here & I am open to discussion.

:heart::pray:

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#2

I don’t know if a narcissist can heal but I know you should be thankful if you don’t have one in your life.
The only way to deal with a narcissist: stay away.

Here is one of the best YouTube channels for you (if not the best): https://www.youtube.com/@hgtudor-theultra

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#3

Sorry @TheEmpress I had a girlfriend who was narcissist, many years ago. I tried to help her but she could not accept help. So after a while I said goodbye ! I am not patient enough !

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#4

This is exactly what I am talking about.

What if this thinking is actually more harmful than useful?

#5

on a macro scale, I wonder if anything can help?

#6

Don’t become another person who is going to play around with narcissists and get burned. Go through HG Tudor’s YouTube channel. The guy is himself a diagnosed narcissist. His explanations are brilliant. When a narcissist says: “Stay away from my kind”, he knows what he is talking about!

#7

Everyone is a narcissist to some level.
Some more extreme than others.

Kids for example, are narcissistic by nature in order to survive until they grow more mature and learn how to operate in the world in alignment to others needs and wants as well.

Extreme narcissism in adulthood is unhealthy but I guess everyone knows that.

I dont personally believe a narcissist cannot be healed or “cured”. We all had fallen into the victim mindsets or other narcissistic behaviors more than often and I believe many even on this forum had bettered their thinking and behavioral patterns over their journey.

If a person is an unhealthy narcissist, recognizing that is the first step. If they desire to change, they will change. Ofcourse you cannot heal or change someone if they dont want it themselves. I would encourage anyone to never attach or identify themselves as something that they dont want to be long term. Its better to find ways to better oneself rather than say “Im X and Ill always be X no matter how hard I try.”

imo

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#8

I understand.

I’m still curious about a change.

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#9

Read Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Book by Pete Walker

I have it and it talks about narcissists and how difficult it is to work with them because of how they developed their coping strategy.

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#10

I understand where you’re coming from. The other day I stumbled upon a thread on reddit actively berating and spewing hatred for individuals that struggle with avoidant tendencies in relationships. Read some awful things in there, that they weren’t deserving of love because they couldn’t have deeper emotional intimacy. As a heavily avoidant person in my younger years and even today that cut deep. Being painted in such a broad way just because they’ve been hurt by a completely separate individual who exhibited similar traits.

There are a lot of unknowns in this world. Some of the truly awful stuff that can occur from a human being does make you question things. I think for their own safety it’s easier for people to start putting people into these boxes when behavior doesn’t align with what’s “good”.

I do believe there’s more going on in the stories of these people who got the label of narcissist. But that doesn’t negate the threat. In my opinion it takes someone with VERY healthy boundaries, emotional centerdness, and open minded thinking to work with these individuals. The average person will in all likelihood get hurt. Doubly so for the empathic individuals who are still wounded themselves.

It’s a tough one. I have deep empathy for individuals who struggle. But I know I don’t hold any type of power to make a change for them. So I am curious why this came up for you? It’s definitely worth pondering, but it seems almost like you feel a pull to be responsible for something that is a bit out of your control.

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#11

My mother was abandoned by her mother and ended up staying with a narcissistic midwife which she had to help out since she was a kid. She was abused in her early childhood days and turned into a narcissist herself and the same thing happened to me but my mother has a hold on me because she doesn’t want to get abandoned by me.

She doesn’t want to get help because nothing is wrong with her. I purchased Regeneration and convinced her to listen to it, she started to change and started to open about some of the things, it was still in Qv2 format and she completed 2 cycles I think. After that I gave her DRst1 to listen, that’s when she stopped listening because she complained about headaches. I took a break with her but refused to listen again.

DR started to question her past and traumas which I believe is even broader than Regeneration(I could be wrong) but she just refused to relive those moments which is a shame because she was so close. I even told her with ZP she will have zero to no headaches and that it’s 15min instead of a hour. That demon inside her doesn’t want to be rattled.

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#12

There is a way - put more light in than you can handle until the demon has nowhere to go than out.

Not an easy process and it takes utmost discipline to do that

Just don’t put your light inside of someone else who is not willing to do whatever is necessary

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#13

I just spent a year dating someone I met when I was listening to LBFH in July 2022 who was raised by an empathetic compassionate mom & a narcissistic alcoholic cheating father.

He went on to struggle with addiction and other mental health difficulties himself, as confirmed by family, ex wife and ex gfs.

A lot has happened in this 1 year together.

I witnessed a very loving caring generous side, but then I saw the narc stuff full force.

I decided to end it and send love from a distance. Provided suggestions to his family and to him as well. If he won’t admit he needs help I can’t be a part of this.

He keeps emailing me. I keep reflecting back on the good and the bad.

Discarding all together feels icky. I’m not sure what to do anymore.

I worked with children and teens with social emotional mental and developmental difficulties for over a decade before studying alternative healing modalities. (Reiki, Trauma Informed Yoga)

I’m just really feeling that there is some hope for a change with narcissistic people. Some day, some time….

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#14

She could try a choline supplement for headaches. That has helped me.

It may take strong dedication but she can do it!

The guy I was seeing tried DR1 and Regeneration.

He quit though.

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#15

My 02 cents is consider your own well being and how you’re doing, then go from there. If you have the emotional bandwidth to continue to engage with him I’d say that’s ok. If it feels like over-extending yourself, cut back contact but you can do it in an emotionally mature way. I do respect you for taking a more nuanced approach.

It sounds like you’re doing the right things for yourself and this will develop as it moves along. But for now maybe it’s just so new and different your mind needs time to adjust.

I think the one thing to look out for is to not get sucked back in though. Until he makes commitment to change and demonstrates that he values you enough to do that, it will just be optimism masquerading as false promises. Do you feel like that’s a possibility? Or do you feel like you’ve been able to sever the ties completely?

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#16

I feel for right now I keep my distance& not engage with him.

Best option.

I can’t trust a single word he’s saying.

I’d love if he went into a treatment facility.

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#17

Are you using LBFH?

#18

Not now, but I have many times.

#19

Sounds like a plan.

To circle back around to the initial post on here though because it does interest me. I think about this stuff a lot.

I think we’re moving towards something, progress in mental health overall. Having been through some not so great mental health struggles in my own life there is that thought in the back of my head that asks “whats my real capacity for growth?” If we look around there are people that don’t get better or still struggle. And then there are people who seem to walk on air through life. It can be really random and I can see why people want absolutes when it comes to the complexity of human beings.

I mean in the 90s anti-depressants were seen as the savior. What’s funny is if you dig into the science behind it, it’s not there. At leas the whole “chemical imbalance” thing, they did studies lowering healthy people’s serotonin to induce depression and it didn’t work. Do they work for some people? I’m sure they do, but I’m pretty offended that they keep moving the goal posts regarding how they work. So it makes you wonder, what other widespread misunderstandings out there are just being perpetuated by a system?

Ultimately when it comes to relief from this stuff I think we should get to a point where it’s not some spiritual expedition or a trial by fire. I’m all for character building but I’m sure someone afflicted with narcissism would rather just be relieved of it vs going on an epic quest. I think this is where a huge shism is between more fact based scientific grounded ideas and more exploratory alternative healings. Each sides have merit, but alone the science is too rigid and the more alternative stuff very quickly detaches from being able to objectively observe without getting wrapped up in what things “should” be.

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#20

I’ve noticed when to LBFH it’s not really good with setting boundaries :confused:

Chosen, on the other hand, has an extraordinary degree of profound sympathy for narcissistic people.

Since my early childhood, I’ve had a highly narcissistic best friend. It wasn’t until before lockdown that I realized what was going on and broke our friendship.

I came to understand that narcissists possess a strong sense of entitlement inherited from their fathers.

They constantly feel inadequate and project an image of themselves as superior to others to the point where it really alienates them from their friends and family.

There is something about Chosen that, in my observation, causes a narcissist’s brain to shut down and submit to your leadership. I’ve noticed that if you don’t maintain consistency with the Chosen, they will revert to their previous narcissistic behaviors.

Chosen pairs very well with LBFH and is the perfect stack for empaths IMHO :blush::heart:

I hope this helps :pray:

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