Yep! He’s a friend of a friend, though I’ve yet to met him personally.
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His a good soul, I’d love to meet him someday.
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It’s a good thing I didn’t commit to updating this every day! Today has been a long one, so this journal post may be a bit scattered…
The past few days have been interesting, as usual. I bought SMx2 a couple of nights ago and added it to my evening stack. I was a bit disappointed at first as I listened and didn’t feel any different afterwards. I suppose some part of me thought I’d get horny after listening, but I didn’t.
However, once we got into bed… sex still felt pretty normal.
Then it just kept feeling normal… for a while!
Finally we climaxed, and usually at that point we both stop moving and then my wife lays on top of me for a few minutes, but that time… I kept going!
“w-w-what are you doing?” she asked me. I laughed and replied “hmm, this is new!”
Came again after another couple of minutes, and by then I was tired and she was sore, so we cleaned up and went to sleep. She’s now decided to listen to the same night time stack. 
Otherwise, it’s been less fun.
For days I had a song stuck in my head that wouldn’t go away no matter what I did. It was an older song called The Way, by Fastball. For days it was on loop in my head and would start up. Finally I noticed another song repeating in my head, and when I paid attention to the lyrics, it mentioned “finding your way”… coincidence??
A few days ago I started feeling some aggression feelings coming up… getting angry at people from my past, and ruminating on hypothetical situations that I might have to deal with.
Last night I was texting with a buddy about this stuff, and I realized I was angry but not about anything specific. More so the general idea that I should ever have to put up with anyone’s shit again.
I will NEVER ask for a job, ever again. I would never put myself into a position of lower status like that again (and haven’t for years, not sure why it’s coming up now)
I work with people because there is mutual benefit, not because I’m an asset to be used by them.
The more I thought about that, the more it became a rock hard thought in my head. I am DONE with that shit. FOREVER. And I have been for years… I’m a C-level executive for a company with 7-figure+ exit strategy planned, and working with an investor/business partner for whom the prospect of buying a $10M private plane to fly to Burning Man more conveniently didn’t even faze him.
I’m not there yet myself, but that’s the crowd I’m running with now. So, no clue why these thoughts are coming up now.
I also had a moment of doubt today, which was completely baseless. I was on a call about an upcoming product launch, and the lab CEO said “Oh, one more thing we need to discuss…” and for some reason, my mind went back to a previous worry about a negotiation point which had already been discussed.
It turned out to be nothing, just minor details, but for a moment I felt fear again. Not cool.
That shouldn’t happen. Emperors shouldn’t feel anxiety. Especially about a deal that’s all but finalized and just needs the formal signatures. Reconciliation maybe, but it feels like a step back.
I’ve also found myself reaching for names and words that should be coming effortlessly, even with dosing aniracetam each day. That’s weird. Usually I can remember things with such detail that my wife and I jokingly refer to it as “Brain Google”.
My meditation sessions seem to have settled in at 30 mins each (morning and early evening), and I can really feel when it when I have to skip one for whatever reason. They’re still not really helping me sleep though; I still need to take quite a few sleep supplements to sleep through the night. That’s next on my list of biohacks to really focus on, as lately I’ve been sleeping in later than usual (7:30-8am) and feeling a bit groggy. After morning meditation I’m fine, and have also added in a warm up/flow state binaural session from iAwake as needed, which seems to help. No caffeine for 9 weeks now.
Day stack is still 3-4 loops of:
Emperor v3 Masked
Sanguine Masked
Emperor v3 Masked
Evening stack is 2 loops before bed of:
Sanguine
SMx2
I realized something else last night; I haven’t touched a fiction book since starting Emperor. I was about 2/3 of the way through an adventure thriller book when I started, and haven’t picked it up since. I’ve read multiple other books, but all business or personal development. Usually I’ll read non-fiction in the morning while having coffee, and then fiction before bed.
Other calls today went very well, and even our marketing team was impressed by the scope of what I’m planning for upcoming launches, and for some of the marketing strategies. The vision for the next 12 months of my company is very clear, and it’s coming together. Definitely a lot of work; today was about 6 hours of back to back conference calls, but it feels easier to push through all that than it used to be.
Also registered a domain name for another new side project for 2020. So many ideas.
Until the next time!
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Limitless, which is also in Emperor, does that sometimes. It’s like the Brain is reorganizing all data.
Consider it a “Brain Google Algorithm Update”.
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Great Journal!
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The anger and anxiety you’re feeling most probably comes because of the Mercury retrograde which will last until 20th of november I think. This a period every year where people get a little anxious, get back into bad habits and thinking they thought had been cleared up before. It’s a good thing, looking at where you’ve been and where you’re at right now. Just don’t attach to whatever you’re experiencing as it is for learning purposes anyway.
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An astrologer!
This Mercury retrograde is especially shitty since it’s in Scorpio (the recesses of the mind) and makes a whole load of challenging aspects, but the purpose is to put us on the right track by being more emotionally honest with ourselves.
It ends in December so hold on tight folks.
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Exactly. While I am a Scorpio myself, I can only agree!
Have you ever tried the 4-7-8 breathing technique for sleep?
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I haven’t, but I’ll give that a try, thanks! I actually had a hypnosis session last night to help with my sleep, and instead had some unexpected side effects in the forms of some very specific dreams. I’ll post another journal entry shortly as they seemed to have some common and interesting themes.
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I meant to reply yesterday, but the day kind of blew up all around me. Had a bit of a sticker shock panic when I found out the lab services we’re building our new product around will be nearly 3x as expensive as we were originally quoted, so a bit of a fast brainstorm session there to see if it’s still doable… It will have to be a smaller scope, but is still doable. Definitely negative feelings about that though… the calm alpha mindset I’ve been experiencing lately was nowhere to be found during that last call.
But… the prototype is stuck at the border due to a DHL bureaucratic f***up, and we’re shooting the promo videos for this product at 8am on Monday morning… arg.
Finally, I also got a phone call with some bad news about a family member, and while it wasn’t someone I was close to (nor even seen since I was a kid), it still put a damper on my already not-so-great day.
On to the dreams! There were 2 main dreams that caught my attention, out of 4 I remembered from that night.
The first one involved my parents doing renovations on their house. In that dream, my father was replacing all of the HVAC ductwork. (In real life, that would never happen… I’ve seen them call a contractor to change ceiling lightbulbs…)
Rather than switching to flexible ducts after removing the old sheet metal ones, he and my mom insisted on getting new sheet metal ones and just installing them alongside the old ones. But since they didn’t want to lose any headroom in the basement, they cut into the floor beams which weakened them to the point where the whole floor above started to sag. Also the floor beams were each, at most, 4ft long, which is utterly useless as a floor beam, so they were just nailed together, which further reduced any strength they might have had otherwise.
In the next dream, I was at a location that appeared to be a locker room at a gym or swimming pool, but it was really dark and creepy. It was also in someones house, which was weird. I was walking along the tile floor near the lockers, and realized my left foot was wet. I looked down and saw there was a hole in the bottom of my boot and water was seeping in. I swore and said I need to get new boots. As I walked, it started feeling more and more weird, and I realized the sole of my boot was now completely gone, whereas the right boot was fine. I tried to leave and that’s when I realized I was in a house, which belonged to a friend from back in high school. His mom said she had to call me a taxi, but that I needed to explain my boot first, and I kept saying I didn’t know why it was like that.
The symbolism of damaged/missing support is pretty clear, but if/how it relates to subs is still uncertain.
Open to any thoughts or insights about these dreams!
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If thats true its very helpful because i do some weird things since i started limitless
Many successful people in sports they feel anxiety before games. I think its a good feelong if it doesnt make you frozen but productive instead
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The weekend was full of ups and downs; on Saturday night I went to a Christmas parade and tree lighting event in my city with my wife and one of her friends who was visiting from out of town, and they both kept asking me if everything was ok as I was extra quiet and apparently giving quite a “pissed off” vibe.
I remember standing there watching the tree light up, hearing everyone cheering, and feeling absolutely nothing except annoyance for the teenagers shouting loudly beside us. My Spanish is rusty, but I’m pretty sure they just kept repeating “Hey! Sing us a song!” at the people up on the stage.
Later I had to go to the bank, and was getting some cash out of an ATM when a guy walks into the bank vestibule, comes right up to me, and starts asking me for money.
There are 2 places where you don’t walk right up to a stranger… at an ATM and at a urinal. Basically any place he’s taking important stuff out of his pants…
I wasn’t sure if he was going to try to rob me or what, but I was surprised enough that all I said was “sorry, can’t help you…” Meanwhile he saw I had a handful of cash and a shopping bag from Whole Foods, so not the most convincing usage of the word “can’t”…
Afterwards, I felt a combination of annoyance, shame, and… not sure. I’ve foolishly given money to people in the past who had a sob story, only to see/hear them giving the same story to someone else minutes later… so now I have a personal policy that I don’t give $$ to people who ask for it, especially if they startle me to the point of feeling unsafe. That being said, I sat in Starbucks afterwards feeling generally crappy, while waiting for my wife and her friend to finish shopping at H&M or whatever store they were in.
It was a weird feeling, normally it wouldn’t bother me as much. Why now?
Sunday was better, I spent much of the day reading, then we went to a friend’s house for dinner. Compared to the previous night’s mood, Sunday was fantastic. Had difficulty falling asleep though, for whatever reason I just kept jolting awake. Then I woke up at 5am on Monday, about an hour before my alarm had been set, and couldn’t get back to sleep. ugh.
Monday was a big day, the day of our video shoot. Up before 6am, at the location by 7:30, videography team arrived at 7:45. This isn’t the first commercial we’ve filmed, but it was definitely the biggest to date. My assistant coordinated almost everything, so I really just had to be there to supervise, which mostly meant standing around drinking san pellegrino and chatting with my business partner in between takes. It was pretty awesome.
I’d explained one of the upcoming new product launches to my business partner, and initially he had a shocked look on his face and said “I’ve done a lot of branding work, we need to have a conversation before you launch a new brand under our company!” but after I explained my marketing approach to this product, his tone totally changed and then he was really stoked about it. He actually commented that the strategy I’m planning was brilliant, and that “hell yes do that.”
I just nodded and said “already am…”
After the shoot wrapped up, both he and his EA texted me to say how well everything went, and that it went better than many of the shoots they’ve done before. So that was pretty great, I was in a fantastic mood all day.
However… between the short night causing lack of sleep, early morning wakeup, studio lights and whatever else… by the time I got home, I had a nasty migraine. First one in a few months. We ordered takeout because neither my wife or I felt like cooking, but by the time it arrived I was in bed with an ice pack on my head… I got up when the food arrived because I was hungry, but was so groggy and disoriented that at one point my wife asked me something about my assistant and I couldn’t even remember her last name! I may have also dreamed that, I’m honestly not sure. Migraines suck.
After that I read for a bit (no subs, I’m way too sensitive to light and sound with a migraine) and then went to bed around 9:30, asleep by 9:45 or so. Slept through until 7:45am, feeling amazing.
Today has been great so far, back to back calls (as usual), found out I’ll be presenting at a health conference next spring (huge opportunity for me), and an ominous looking letter from the bank turned out to be yet another credit limit increase.
My last journal sounded like a bit of a downer, but today it’s back to crushing it and feeling awesome. 
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you overanalyze it. You cant, wont, shouldnt, whatever it doesnt matter. You have your reasons to do certain things no need to keep your mind busy over small things
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Plus no one should get in a man’s space anywhere near an ATM in the first place.
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LONG overdue update.
In the past 2 weeks my company launched a new product that’s unique in the market (both for application and sheer number of parallel operations we’re doing), as well as pulled off a mid 5-figure Black Friday event. Success? Sort of.
It was supposed to be low 6-figures, and wasn’t, which is the other part of the reason I’ve been quiet and not updating this journal since then. I wanted to sort out how I was feeling about some of this stuff to better articulate it. I’ve been running my same playlist of Emperor V3 and Sanguine in a 2:1 ratio, and it’s had some interesting effects. (Up until 3 days ago, at least… more on that below)
Some of the people on my team made some unfathomable mistakes that cost my company a huge amount of money, as well as enough stress about everything overall that there’s now a fist-shaped dent in the whiteboard covering one wall of my office. I was so busy fixing their f***ups that I missed double checking something that I really ought to have double checked, and an email blast went out to 100k+ people with the wrong url. (That was the fist+wall moment, when I discovered the error…the next day).
Why mention this?
When this happened, I was pissed for a few minutes, and then I heard something.
Breathe.
“Goddamn f***ing stupid idiots can’t even-”
Breathe.
I’m still mad about what happened; I worked for months to do an amazing product launch and several people on my team screwed everything up. But aside from the one shot to the wall, I took a breath and stayed in control and fixed the situation as best as I could. Emperors don’t lose control and allow their plans to fail.
I spent much of Friday and Saturday fixing their mistakes to try to salvage the product launch.
Last Thursday, the day before all this stuff happened, I set aside everything I was working on to meet with the exec director of several of the other companies that are owned by the same investor that I work with. My company is still a fairly small startup in comparison, and while the others are doing low 7-figures per year, each, and the main business is doing 9-figures a year, mine is the one which is really disrupting the market.
I asked for more collaboration, more resource sharing. I laid out the case why we need more assets to grow.
And I’ll get it.
In fact, in addition to everything I asked for, they’re opening 2 new offices for us next year to accommodate our growth.
As disappointed as I was for the launch, the resources that have opened up to me at the same time will lead to tremendous growth moving forward. Still a win overall.
As for the people on my team who let me down?
They told me specific tasks would be done in time for the launch, they told me certain things were nearly done when in fact they hadn’t even started yet. Those were lies. They billed me for hours of work that was not being done, and in fact still didn’t get done in time for it to matter.
I’ll let you all use your imaginations as to what the proper Emperor response was.
In other news, I’ve been really ramping up the personal development book reading over the past few days, and even read a book on allocations of investment portfolios, something I’ve never really given much thought to before. My thinking was always that stock market investing was for “regular people”, and my plan is to build a business and become wealthy that way. Something clicked in my head and I realized how I can do both. I’ve also been obsessively reading fitness articles, and my wife has commented that I’m visibly eating less (nor was I was eating excessively before)… about the same as her actually, and I’m about a foot taller than her and at least 100lbs heavier. (I’m not a giant, she’s just petite lol)
I also bought Quantum Limitless a few days ago and have been listening to ST1 exclusively since then. I’ll add updates about that to this journal as it progresses.
Until next time…
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You fired the fuckups?
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Hopefully not but maybe he made something clear to bring them back on track.
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Good, that you took the breath instead. Whatever emotion you were in at that moment wasn’t going to solve to problem anyway. Looking forward to your updates.
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