Feeling like expressing myself
I fucking hate this dogshit place country that i live in.
Fucking disgusting.
I cant be the only whos noticing all this bs?
I dont belong in this nasty place
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Aren’t you curious to try ZP :)?
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maybe when ascension comes out or Emperor, other than that ill think ill wait.
i like the idea of it and all, but ill wait till ascension or emperor comes out. and measure how the effects vs the effects of Qv2,
i dont want to sound like a boomer, but since you asked me about my opinion, i think ill join the hype train when i experience it myself in the near future
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I think Chosen ZP is like upgraded Ascension, think about it.
i honestly think the idea of it doesn’t align with me at all, im not much of a leader person
id say im not excited about leading either, i tend to think of myself as an infant that needs lots of work and knowledge about life before leading and teaching the routes of life
i think of myself that i know a lot of things, but at the same time i think that i know absolutely nothing
i guess Ascension is digging up some stuff huh?
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what happend? What is so bad about it?
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its just dogshit,
id rather not live here and get the hell out asap,
idk how to explain,
its like everyone is brainwashed, i cant find people with same interest as mine, idk lots of things and i hate that i cant express myself freely, self expression is a big part of my soul,
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@RVconsultant my friend, why did you edit the clown thingy ?
its not directed to anyone here, i meant to target where i live
Thank you for asking.
I did understand the context of your comment. I’m trying to keep as much negative labeling regarding other people off the forum. Even if it is “in general”, or even if it is about someone who might never see it.
By doing so, I think it sets a more obvious example of how newer participants on the forum are expected to act, and better sets the tone of the community environment.
I know it can be tempting to post something negative about someone, even if they are hostile or confrontational. However this is a higher standard than many forums might have, and I plan on keeping it so.
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You will. #AscensionProblems 
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About this, I am the same as you not wanting to lead, but this title is a lot about positivity. And you seem to be very pessimistic right now about your country and such.
As you can see from Brandon’s journal Chosen had a very good impact on him.
I will quote him
"Okay so I won’t go too deep into it because I don’t like repeating ‘old stories’.
But Chosen really has changed me already.
I feel happier, more positive and more in control. I feel ready.
Just so you guys are aware.
I was desperate for ZP once I really started reading the thread about it.
For the past few weeks I was having suicidal thoughts and I was close to acting on them. I was tired, and super fucking depressed. I was really struggling due to many things going on that I’ve wrote about in my other journal. I felt alone and one thing that even came up was what the fuck is wrong with me?.
I was close to saying to my ex that there was something wrong with me. Maybe something medicinally or whatever (you’re aware I believe I have ADD or even ADHD) which I don’t have medication for or anything else.
Regardless, I was overwhelmed, pissed off, annoyed with everything, everyone, life and whatever else. I was having mood swings every single day and I really was sick of it. I really was close to ending everything because I just couldn’t deal with what was going on and how I felt. I told myself that I should wait to see what ZP could do for me and if it’ll have the same effect that the testers were having and what the hype was creating.
Now, just like everyone else I’ve only listened to a couple loops. I’ve taken out WANTED and decided to listen to purely CHOSEN & R.I.C.H for now.
I truly believe CHOSEN has worked some magic (that isn’t to say WANTED hasn’t - I’m pretty sure my hair is thicker already and I’ve been having a more ‘full’ feeling when eating amongst other things). After listening to CHOSEN however I’ve been happier, more positive - barely any negative thoughts - especially suicidal ones, no wanting to act on anything like that and that was legitimately after one loop of it.
I’ve been choreographing way more than I normally would - I normally teach the same routine all week whereas I created three separate pieces in short periods of time.
I’ve been standing my ground with people, telling them how I truly feel about things - without anger but a sternness - and just being me.
ZP has been healing me, deep. I can feel it. I just know it has. It’s doing things I’m not even aware of - I can just tell.
Chosen is definitely making me feel as such - chosen. People have been nicer, happier with me, sending me messages telling me they love classes more, and all that kinds of stuff. My energy is in a much better place. That alone I’m grateful for. I haven’t done anything else to change the way I feel - I didn’t just wake up feeling better from doing nothing - it’s from these fucking subs. These tools of greatness right here.
I just really needed to express my gratitude because I was close y’all. I promise, I really was on the edge, and now I’m not. I’m working on myself, questioning things and knowing what I need to and should be doing. I’m having better thoughts and all that kind of magic.
Anyhow…
I just listened to two loops of CHOSEN whilst watching TV. They definitely made me drowsy (plus it’s 5:30am currently) so I’ll be heading to sleep in a second after this episode finishes.
I’m excited to continue this journey."
i think it was some recon with some expression of my thoughts , but i think its some of those problems that ascending people face
yes maybe it has some nice additional packaging and scripting which is exciting.
but its mainly for leadership and being the CHOSEN one, and i dont feel like i fit there
- i read about some ZP in the support section yesterday*
and i have to see that it must be exciting, especially when main titles come like ascension !
about the country thing, i always get pissed from time to time about this issue and be amazed on how can people be so brainwashed and get angry a bit, and theres no where to express myself but to god,
and here on the forum for safety,
twitter is not a safe place to express yourself about disliking anything on that matter, and self expression is a big part of my soul. so i tend to throw everything here sometimes
hope @Brandon is doing much better now, sending love brother 
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Im noticing slight discomfort, and lack of energy
Id say thats some reconciliation,
Slept late yesterday and today i didnt hit the gym
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If you aren’t much of a leader, then who will lead you? I don’t see the reason to fear being thrown into a bunsh of leader roles, when a good leader easily chose what and if he wants to lead others.
But most of all he leads himself. My closest friends right now are the two horses outside my window eating grass atm, but I still listen to Chosen. Just a thought.
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ill lead myself. But i dont want to lead others, its something that doesn’t interest me.
I can lead my cats though hahahahah
But i think ascension or emperor is a better leader title for your own self rather than chosen,
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Its been a couple of days and the same issue appears again
Idk what is this, this has been happening for me for a long time
I woke up tired. Its the same cycle even if i sleep for 8-10 hours,
You body tells you that you can sleep of more hours and that you need it. Even if you slept for 12 hours
You’d probably feel sleepy also, ans that you can go for 14 hours of sleep to rest better
And I honestly dont know whats causing this,
Is this a trick by the mind? Or its really that my body needs more rest
But no matter how long i sleep, i feel tired when i wake up again
The push in the workout has disappeared, i dont notice the same push and obvious silence of the mind while im working out. from within to finish the last reps
I was trying to be more aware today of how i react when i was working out. But it feels like I reacted today the same as my regular bassline
Rather than the cool ass push from ascension.
Honestly the reason for ascension wasnt for working out, but to improve my overall life experience
So ill see what happens
Until now nothing new,
im becoming more and more scared that these subs will change my essence, and it will change that whom my authentic self is,
loving and caring and other traits ive always known myself for,
im having these thoughts that the script might influence me into another person that i dont want to be
cuz the change sometimes can be so smooth that it scares me, that i might change rapidly change and forget who my old self was like, my values, everything
what brought this up was today at the gym i was trying to remember if yesterday i worked out or not, and i couldn’t remember until a couple of mins ago, so its scary that i might change booof, and forget my old self that easy, that would scare the hell out of me
ive been doing my best God, ive been searching and looking for answers everywhere, it feels like a relife sometime that your doing the best, and striving for what means a lot of you, even if the road is very blurry espcially for me
i feel like im lost sometimes
im really hoping that these subs are the solution to all the problems ive been looking for answers to
, actually the way i found this website is through a friend that i told him that i have some problems sometimes with socializing and he gave me the link to this place
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Welcome to the club man 
this is RECON.
I have an old journal here writing the same .
-
regarding spirituality fearing that I am becoming a traitor to my spiritual goals . Actually at the time my definition expanded . And looking back seeing that my meditation getting deeper and my understanding of who I am is expanding . You know according to Bashar “negativity is exclusive , positivity is inclusive” as you grow you will find that your essence has a different aspects. And you include them.
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regarding creativity , fearing that this Mogul attitude of planning and strategizing will cut me from my creative nature. Didn’t happen and I am expanded.
I have the same issue with emperor , as IAM starting to become more assertive , establishing boundaries that in the past were vague in the best case. I feared that I will lose my loving nature . actually didn’t happen .and I am still the loving appreciative man . But now people can see that not just I am loving but a strong man you can depend on . (This is f*** important in business and life in general)
Keep going man you gonna like it 
Edit:
By the way what’s your MBTI?!
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