Budewr’s journal

Journals - Major Programs
#221

hahahah, i almost felt that today or its like slowly happening i dont know how to explain

but being in control of your orgasm is pure presence and its way up high skilled

having sexual intercourse and not have your mind on just wanting to orgasm and finish with this good feeling, instead your enjoying the love rather than the want to end with a huge orgasm, if someone can do this kind of sexual intercourse where his focus is on the love rather than the after math

he has reached very enlighten sexual intercourse, we as humans generally are focused on the aftermath, sex is like a very animalsh thing, not animalsh in sense of act, but in sense of no brain when doing so

when having sex, your mind changes into this lust of just wanting to finish and cum and orgasm into a no-mind state,. but when its turned into this present intercourse of being in the moment and not worrying about the volacano happening anytime soon cuz you cant hold it, thats when it becomes something very lovely

as osho says, sex should not be in your head,

sex mastrey looks promising, its a bonus for me though its not something i was looking for, but sure more good is always good if it helps with my journey

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#222

Funny when I started reading your post I thought of Osho straight away, and then you mentioned him :laughing:

I have an audibook with him called Intuition, here he talks about the various stages all the way from the animal and instinct, through the intellect, and all the way to super-consciouness. And I agree with him, sex without romance looks quite ugly, just two pieces of flesh smashing into each other(hm most porn lol).

And also as he says that two bodies can only touch each other skin to skin, and minds can be like a emulsion between water and oil, but only two nothingness can merge into each other.

2 Likes
#223

this is lovely

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#224

Only through meditation can two lovers truly meet and join into nothingness :blush: Only problem for the rational side of the mind is hat no one will be there to reflect over it :sweat_smile:

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#225

on my journey until now i feel lately ive been disconnected from my purpose which is music, for some reason its now hard for me to find tracks that influence me and provoke that sense of inner joy within me i dont know why, maybe im not digging enough into tracks and it takes time to find the sound that you like

i dont want to open abelton cuz im lost and i dont know what i like and what i want to do and produce, it feels like a challenge, to accept and try to always strive and find what leads the love within the human soul

but im doing my best, and thats whats important, i know i will find my way, i just need more time

digging more into techno and trying to find the sound that i like like really like, sometimes i find myself looking at the tracks that i bought 2 months ago, and they dont feel and provoke the love they did to me once before

its like im fluctuating, its been bothering me really since it feels unstable one day i like it the other day boosh its gone

i remmber seeing this with when i started my subclub journey with StarkQ + LDU + RM, same thing happened and i got confused and i thought im better off subs and going back to my regular bassline and i did washout cuz of this before

but maybe its recon, or maybe its a challenge that i have to overcome, or maybe its normal and im linking it to subliminals

however im still sailing and i love it

Reaction to music , recon maybe?
Qv2 experiences, comments, insights and questions
#226

If you’re concerned about wet dreams, have you read about Inner Gasoline?

#227

Thats a good idea but hes still only using store programs.hes not into customs yet :stuck_out_tongue:

#228

Thanks, @Meng123 . This is why you’re the archivist. You’re more detail oriented than me.

2 Likes
#229

hey rv900000 long time buddy!

im still using store productsfor the moment , maybe 4 months from now ill make my custom, or maybe more untill the new version comes out of the products not sure yet

although controlling my sexual energy and stuff isnt my focus, but its a bonus from emperor sex mastery!

i just hate wet dreams tbh ahhahah, but i have a feeling theyll be gone soon with emperors script

#230

this recon is weird, its very funny i dont know how to explain , feels very fluffy hahahha idk how to explain its just weird

im questioning my purpose and lots of things, but thats the start of an evolution and an empire

it all starts with a thought

i will try to journal everything the bad and the ugly meheh, it really help ill take Saints advice

#231

i still see this barrier between me thats limiting me from connecting with family and receiving their love and being able to receive and feel emotions

its one of the reasons im running limit destroyer

#232

i feel like this is a huge challenge expressed and imposed by emperor maybe? maybe its a challenge for me to find and dig more for the music that inspires my soul

everything happens for a reason for a reason to happen

its a challenge, someone mentioned that @SaintSovereign has previously said something about " get ready when you play emperor lots of challenges or something like that"

as long as im better than yesterday in terms of vision im progressing

#233

ate lunch and its a record i think, finished my lunch in : 1 hour and 30 mins or 1 hours 40 mins

i have a small stomach since ive done a surgery before, and now i can eat more with less time cuz of limit destroyer

great stuff :smiley:

#234

just watched a livestream of one of my tutors talk about affirmations and how it effects your sub-conscious

and he puts so much importance, on listening to subliminals on the theta waves, just when youre going to bed

cuz he says that our limiting belifes that we have, has been implemented by those waves when we were young 0-7 years

and also he puts importance on taking action, since 95% of our day is action and affirmation to our already reality that we already want to change by using subliminals, so when youre taking action and creating the new reality with listening to subliminals and taking action , youre actually making it double 2x of the power since youre gonna affirm with your actions and your listening also

gonna implement more action, like my reality has already been made, so it aligns with the subliminal script

#235

When was your surgery?

#236

its called Sleeve Gastrectomy, they cut 80% of your stomach and leave the rest in like a shape of a banana so you wouldnt eat a lot and you would be ina caloric deficit and lose weight

done this surgery 2 years ago

so eating lunch is hard for me, i sometimes take 2 hours and a half

but today is a world record

props to LDU

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#237

Thank you for clarifying.

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#238

update: i can see something glimpsing from emperor? i feel more energized toward my goal?

hmm i cant define it, but it def feels good working

#239

Yes with those theta wawes he was right. I was trying to put this idea into life by listening to an ultrasonic version of Ascension one hour after I got to bed but unfortunately, I was more tired in the morning than usual so I rather listen to subs through a day with normal beta brain waves.

But there is an option to go to theta waves even if you woke up. I hope it would not be something bad if I put here a link to the brain waves generator.

#240

do you find results even if youre running them on beta waves?

i also watched bruce lipton talk about running subliminals before bed

i had some tough time before maybe first 2 weeks was rough some nights couldn’t sleep with the mask on up on my headphones, made me feel like i drank caffeine or something, but i adapted, i think it benefits way more and its pretty much good