Back to Basics - Beowulf (Mogul + Love Bomb)

Journals - Major Programs
#1

No lengthy introduction here. I just need to start journaling again.

Today is Day 1 of this stack.

Goals:-

Money

Earn enough money to

  1. To hangout with people whenever I want
  2. To live on my own
  3. To travel whenever and wherever I want

In that order.

To love myself completely and absolutely - unconditionally.

  1. No “I hate myself” (whether in thoughts or the spoken word)
  2. No longer reminiscing of what I could have done or been (in a negative manner)
  3. To enjoy being myself and not worry about what people think.

In that order.

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#2

I stacked Mogul + LBFH before. They are more than enough to achieve those goals if you stick with them long enough. LB is more concentrated than LBFH for those goals, so it should work faster.

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#3

Took a washout since I got (really) sick.

Listened 3 minutes of both LB and Mogul yesterday. So today is my 2nd day.

I’ve noticed I laughed more heartily yesterday and somebody offered me some of their food, which was nice. Was also a bit more prone to joking around and enjoying myself.

Been thinking really heavily on what “love” means to me since 2 days ago because of an incident. Asked more than half a dozen people on what it means to them. It feels like I’m getting somewhere but I’m still not sure.

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#4

Still on my stack.

Listened 3 minutes of LB + Mogul.

I’ve decided a few days ago to start going to the gym again to improve my mental + physical health. Today I finally got paid, so I went straight to the gym to get my membership.

Did some brisk walking at the treadmill. Not much but I’m happy I’m starting it over again.

I watched a romantic comedy anime and I feel pretty damn happy after finishing it. The romantic stuff is cute as hell and reminds me that I really enjoy romance in my media. Teared up at certain points.

Was definitely a conscious decision to be like, “Hey I’m running Love Bomb, I want to figure out what love means to me - let’s watch a show about romance!”. Great decision, happy I did it.

(I also asked no joke, almost a dozen different people what ‘love’ means to them the past couple of days, so this feels like a good deserved break from all of that.)

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#5

Are you listening the old Mogul or Genesis Mogul?

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#6

Genesis: Mogul. Referring to it as Mogul since that’s easier.

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#7

Couple of days ago I was thinking about what “love” means and I felt a sense of anxiety/worry that I haven’t experienced it (or that I feel it the way other people do).

Part of the reason why is because a friend of mine dissected what I mean by “love” specifically. Explaining how things seems contradictory, loose or shaky.

Then last night, I paced around the room and decided to break down what love is into multiple axioms and definitions since that felt right for me. Did this for about an hour or two.

Here are some of the questions and self-reflective questions I went through:-

When someone says “love”, it’s very vague.

Is it romantic? Familial? Platonic? Unconditional (does unconditional love even exist for one person?)

How can it be unconditional when it is still dependent on a specific kind of relationship/attribute (my wife, a woman, etc).

Even so, can there be different kinds of “unconditional” love?

Can different kinds of love exist at the same time? Why can’t it?

If I can love multiple friends and family members, why not romantically?

And if I can love multiple friends in different ways - why do I feel it’d dilute my romantic love if I love multiple people?

Does one love breed another?

Is love a feeling or an action? Why not both? Why not neither?

Do people even experience love in the same way?

Is love at first sight real? Is lust at first sight real? Can both and neither be real?

Is love a spectrum? A binary? A gradient?

These were all the self-introspective questions I went through that night and I came away feeling that I have far more clarity on what “love” means though I am far from finished.

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#8

This morning, I was contemplating how the love languages are usually applied in a romantic setting and then I had the realization that self-love would work the same way.

Words of affirmations of “I love you” towards myself.

Physical love would be self-hugging (yup, you can do that and it’s good!)

Acts of service would be doing things to make you feel better (cleaning up the room, exercising, etc)

Receiving gifts would be buying nice things or producing works of art for yourself.

Quality time would be watching a movie or game by yourself or walking at a park alone with your thoughts.

Time to figure out out which way is the best for me.

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#9

Sidenote, Kendrick Lamar is my latest obsession.

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#10

Stressed out about my new job (ad agency).

I always feel left behind and not as good as the rest. I don’t feel any sense of urgency regarding my work too. Frustrating. I don’t understand why I don’t feel that deadline anxiety that other people do. When I do want to do my work I feel anxiety of even starting - which causes me to procrastinate and hold it off.

I’ve been laid off a very promising opportunity before because I couldn’t muster up that discipline + urgency. I would have been very well-off a year from now if I had just did that. If it happens again, I don’t know what I’d do.

No idea what’s the cause of this. I’ve always been (too!) relaxed when it comes to deadlines and projects. The benefit is that I’ve never had a breakdown or panic attacks and whatnot but it also means that I let opportunities pass me by and I build the reputation of somebody who is all talk but no action.

It’s painful how many opportunities I’ve lost because of it. I logically know everybody’s journey is different but the feeling of being in my mid-20s yet feeling like I’m still a child hurts. Feels like I’m just a kid in a room full of adults who have their sh*t together. It’s terrible.

Socially, professionally, financially.

Definitely recon since my boss is basically saying this is my final chance to prove myself. I need to be able to go through this recon and anxiety to pull through. My lover has been busy and dealing with her own issues so I can’t rely on her for emotional support at this time so I need to rely on myself as much as possible.

I need to be responsible now because when else am I going to be free?

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#11

You have insight.

As overwhelming as it might seem, what if a solution was just around the corner?

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#12

I’d be relieved.

And I’d wonder what that solution would be :laughing:

I wonder if the point is knowing that there is a solution around the corner and all I have to do is take a peek.

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#13

I pulled through!

And I was praised in the group chat for being proactive so I felt like that was a total turnaround. Went from being anxious to being relieved after I saw that message lol. Feels good :pray:

Now I just need to consistently do that to build up a better reputation.

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#14

Today is the last day of my 1st cycle.

Debating whether to swap out Love Bomb for Dragon Reborn: RED. Gold is very attractive but I need to work more on myself first before thinking about leading other people.

After the washout I’ll take a look at all the testimonials and first impressions to see where I’ll go from there.

EDIT: On second thought, I’m definitely sticking to Love Bomb. Until I achieve the objectives, I’m not going to switch. The love aura + self-love is too useful at the moment for me to drop it.

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#15

Been listening to Kendrick recently and for some reason the music be hitting different and deeper. I’m vibing much harder, my body just wants to dance and I’m singing out the lyrics :musical_note:

At work today was praised for showing decent work again. Part of it is definitely Love Bomb and Mogul that I ran today but also because of the work itself being decent lol.

Something I forgot to mention was last Sunday I was standing in line for an event and I could sense that it would be a good idea to talk to the girl behind me. I could feel it in my body that I should too. Held off on doing it until I finally decided to do it by asking her a question of what she’s going to get at the event.

It was really enjoyable talking to them and I only regretted not asking her number. She was cute and definitely my type. I felt a sense of excitement afterwards of me potentially meeting other amazing women and still feel that way now. Would love to meet more of them!

(I have my lover’s consent so all is fine if anyone is wondering lol)

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#16

Day 1/Day 5 - Washout

Feeling happy and joyful this morning.

Strong sense of optimism.

It feels great!

This isn’t really the norm for me and I only felt this way once in a blue moon at most. Definitely something I want to feel more of in my day-to-day life.

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#17

Finished my 6 (not 5!) day washout. Today is the first loop of my 2nd cycle of Mogul + Love Bomb.

Very interesting things to talk about that I experienced during the end of my last cycle but I’ll get to it later.

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#18

So getting to that, there are a couple of major things I’m starting to notice.

1. Internal Radar

I can feel this… “pull” towards talking to certain people. And I have the feeling that it would result in a positive interaction if I do. That’s what resulted in me having a positive interaction with the girl in the queue. Felt it several more times after that, more often with women I’m interested in but also with a man one time. With the man I think it’s because I could feel they were lonely and needed me to talk to them.

Very interesting. I have ignored it a couple of times but I realized I should trust my gut instinct to follow it from now on.

2. Compliments on my Personality

Towards the end of my 1st cycle I’m noticing people complimenting my personality and who I am as a person. It ranges from “personable, likeable and you really listen to people when they talk”, “great at talking”, “interesting, never met anybody like you before”.

The thing is my internal state still sees myself as being somebody that seems withdrawn, not great at socializing and even awkward at times. So there’s a reconciliation going on right now between my internal state and what is objectively happening in how people view me.

3. Joy Listening to Music

I mentioned in an earlier post that I’m starting to feel Kendrick Lamar’s music starting to hit deeper. Turns out it’s happening to all music I’m listening to. I’m much more likely to bob my head, move my body and vibe to it.

I finally get why people really enjoy listening to music. It’s very enjoyable lol. I even vibe to it in public with my earphones on and not care that much how I appear to others because I’m enjoying it.

4. General Happiness + Less Negative Self-Talk
In general I feel a lot happier. I’m more likely laugh and genuinely smile (without caring how my smile looks). Love Bomb got me into the gym about a month ago and the regular interval running sessions I’m having definitely plays a big part in improving my mood and mental health.

The “I hate myself” kind of self-talk is far less frequent now, even though it may pop out at times. Noticeably it seems to happen after I PMO. Definitely need to kick that negative habit.

5. Women Manifestation
It seems to be that I’m either manifesting or attracting women that I’d enjoy talking to. I was beginning to notice this then checked out the LB sales page and figured out hey - it’s right there in the objectives lol.

  • Attract romantic partners who resonate with one’s own model of love and wisdom, building relationships founded on integrity and love.

Wasn’t expecting this tbh since I’m using Love Bomb just for the self-love and aura aspects but this is very nice!

Notes
(1), (3) and (5) seem to weaken or I notice them less during the 5 day washout. Definitely noticed not vibing as much to music during the washout though it’s still there, just not as much.

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Main Disc. Thread - The NEW Love Bomb (2024 -- Now Available -- Free Upgrade!)
#19

Hey there past me, you seem to be right!

Right now I’m learning to go through discomfort and just doing them anyway. Wonder how Mar 31st Beowulf would think of me now haha.

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#20

Missed my listening day yesterday because I was too tired so it wouldn’t make sense to add more processing to an already exhausted body and mind.

Listening today.

EDIT: Note to self. This is Day 1 of Habit 2.

EDIT 2: Accidently listened to Love Bomb for 4 minutes 15 seconds, so I did the same for Mogul.

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