Experiment Day 4
Emperor Q 1 loop
Emperor Q 2nd loop right after
Emperor Q 1 loop
1 hour later Azriel Q
I didn’t get enough sleep the night before so perhaps not the best to assess.
I woke up driven to get a jump on some work stuff. but as soon as that completed the drive died down.
Again spent the day more chill, hanging with a girl, and taking care of myself more than on anything visionary, or particular productive.
I wonder if this is a Survival Instinct effect. I’ve been needing to slow down a bit for quite some time, and it does feel like a good reset. The last two days are very unlike my normal behavior. It’s almost like I am resetting to when I crank up the speed it will be more aligned.
As the experiment days continue, my normal routines and structures are falling apart,and I’m doing things more by the spur of the moment. My sense of being above and causing my life rather than along for the ride is also rapidly diminishing. Not like I am at a loss for anything or ‘victimized’ by it, but more like trusting the moment rather than consciously guiding.
This could be a function of the spontaneous attitude of experimenting being reflected in my life, sense of direction, an effect of the sub combo, simply reconciliation, or just a natural life cycle.
Really can’t say at this point. I passed out super early and woke at in the middle of the night. I’ll run
1 loop of Survival Instinct
1 loop Rebirth Ultima-
1 loop of PCC
1-2 loops of HOM over the night
In the morning I’ll do 1 or 2 loops of Emperor X Terminus and then take off 48 hours from my last sub use and then reassess. 4 days in of essentially haphazard sub use with some minor cohesion , and I’m ready to bring thing into order and a system, but may go another week as I have more to test… I am for myself, learning a great deal of how things effect me and combine and what I need more and less of