I go through periods of reading YOUR posts on the forum too-they are super useful:joy:
I may start posting every day/ other day to be able to view patterns more clearly and of course
to reach my true goal of being on this forum–to become Arch-Alchemist…
Looking at your progress, I’m sure you will reach your goal very very soon.
Thank you King,
I meant it as a joke though-like you and my forum status is ‘regulars’ //the highest forum status is Arch-Alchemist, which you get from posting alot.
Although it would be really cool to become an Arch-Alchemist in real life too 
1 loop of Libertine last last night
2 loops of Azriel Q last night
2 loops of Emperor Q this morning
1 loop BLU Afternoon
2 loops of Emperor Q this evening
I had some insane reconciliation come up on loop 3 of Emperor
it had less to do with listening load-as the above is fairly light for me
and more to do with Emperor push creating friction with life as is…that and some kind of emotional healing. I felt angry people were not getting back to me, both business wise, and with someone I had been seeing and I experienced a large regression back to things I have not felt for–certainty before I started Emperor. Perhaps this is Khan Stage 1 in the custom breakdown really kicking in…or blue skies.
I had like a 3 hour breakdown into upset/ existential crisis, full of rage, isolation, and self-victimization.
It felt like my world was on fire. The intensity is still there but I have calmed down significantly.
I unearthed how ashamed I am of what I do for work and I’m questioning, its certainly nothing to objectively be ashamed off, but because I judge it has having no soul, no real long term winning without major iteration, and pivot, and it’s so different then what I wanted or planned for myself. And it’s not enough money anymore to justify it. I want to have my career be in alignment with my purpose, and I want to be able to walk away from what I’m doing…
I go back and forth between making huge strides subjectively and objectively and than yo-yoing back. Subjectively in terms of if I am proud of who I am being, how I am living, and the actions I am taking, and objectively in terms of my metrics I set for myself.
I can see the circuitousness of my journey but it seems like a spiral rather than a staying in place.
That said, on one of the commission based work I do, I have had several opportunities manifest that would put me in the ‘I can do whatever I want now’ -well…depending on my lifestyle -
Zone
if all three deals I am working on go through it will be over a little over a million dollars. So that’s pretty dope…my attitude is it could just as easily happen as it could not happen, so I’ll do everything in power to push it forward and have it happen-without making this ‘my big break’ attachment.
Remember that BLU can also cause anger & reconciliation.
You have 479 posts. So, technically, you are Initiate and will soon be Ascended.
You simply haven’t asked for yourself to be ranked as such. 
BLU did that in the beginning, but lately has made me incredible sane and calm
in how I view and approach things. I’ve been running it a lot without that issue, but it could certainly have been a contributing factor with to much Emperor, in this specific situation.
I’m closer than I thought
story of my life-not asking to be appropriately ranked for my merit lol
@DarkPhilosopher can you initiate me into an initiate --and then we can talk 21 posts from now about ascending me to an ascendant
thanks for the info @Simon
you truly are the S.A.G.E. of this forum 
479 posts for someone who started using this forum from April 2020 means that he is quite a prolific poster and may possibly have 500-600 posts in the next 4 months…and 1250 posts by the end of this year…
There are lots of gold on this forum. Everyday I notice something that I wasn’t aware of. Great job everyone. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and other tidbits.
when?how much longer? are we there yet? 
I have a lot to update and will do so soon,
I’ve been in and out of a mini Dark night of the soul
I’ve had a crazy seduction experience
The one thing I don’t understand that I just realized.
Is I experience fear and a sense of needing to conform with one person I work with, I don’t need them, they’re being happy with work I do is important for financial benefit, but I feel fear, anxiety, and can’t be real with them, maybe I’m afraid I’ll lose it or the risks. My fear/anxeity of and around them is really a lynchpin in the well being of my life-I don’t want to run away because of fear. It’s really pissing me off at this point.
I feel the fear has been eliminated with everyone else in my life but one person. I want to explore this more. As its ‘costing’ me a lot and this point
I think because I’ve created a block or told myself I have to be or relate to him a certain way to be safe,
after I posted that I just spoke to him and felt much less fear. It may be new beginnings in Emperor bringing something to the surface and now that I am questioning it I can move on.
Because I feel the effects of subs so quickly I don’t realize how long they actually take to take real effect. The things that came online the fastest in Emperor for me were dominance, focus, and Mogul within the current careers I have, I barely felt Ascension, the deeper aspects at least, on Emperor Q until months in, and I am only really starting to experience it now. I’m also starting to experience the entrepreneurial aspects of Emperor or from Mogul which have been offline.
That’s why I was confused because when I first started Q and got over reconciliation, I felt Ascension on EmperorV4 really strongly and then barely on Q in the beginning. They seem to be coming more online now or more integrated. Looking back EmperorV4 still made me feel something, sexual/ un self-conscious/ dominant that was very distinct then on Q, and I believe that’s Sex Mastery and Ascension still being full integrated on Q.
I’ve been saving money on Emperor, but all of a sudden every time I get an income stream now I put 1/3 in savings and a couple hundred towards debt immediately. I’ve been avoiding paying down debt for 4 months. This was not a really though out choice I just was like ‘I have to do this’ and started doing it. So that is probably wealth/wealth management aspects of Emperor coming online. I’m on the start of my 4 month.
I see why anyone running a major sub with a big script, Khan/Emperor/Stark/ Primal Seduction, would do well to give it 6 months minimum
.
I agree minimum 6 months. I personally Keep a journal. When 6 months come, I read the journal to see all of my progress. I am honest with myself 100% and write that in my journal. I do not look at the day before or even earlier. I wait until 6 months to read my journal. I get another journal to write in. I repeat the process with same subliminal if I want to target a year. I then review entire year when I reach the end of that 6 month period. Remember to be 100% honest. I’m never looking for the results. I trust the process 100%.
Love it, that’s awesome.
I’ve been trusting the process, I see now, I also see the value of applying conscious effort and time in the areas I’ve wanted to develop.
My focus has been on my foundation and the current commitments I have. Now my focus is expanding.
100% agree. Take action and stop looking for results.
So this last week has been brutal and interesting
Fun Thing in next post.
Un-fun thing:
long story short I had a difficult bout of sever discomfort in my ear and kept hearing a noise-it felt like a nonstop driving noise in my head, not even in my ear, the last few days. It could have been reconciliation/ energetic or otherwise, being near a computer whose fan is too loud+an air condition that broke recently and makes a high pitch noise, new herbs I’m testing, ultrasonics. I’ve been eliminating variables and I do not believe it is sub related- or if it is energetic/ reconciliation/ stress/ exhaustion as a contributing factor not audio. So I discovered when I stopped running my air conditioner non stop the condition got a lot better-the cold could also contribute to tension in the neck which can effect the ear/jaw.
This whole episode corresponded after an enormous workload I had and with some incredible anxiety and coming up for me and feeling like I was sick of my life (total breakdown perhaps ) So a lot of factors created a perfect very uncomfortable storm. And there was a tropical storm too!
The ear has been getting better lately and is almost non existent and I believe the real culprit is likely that I have a sinus/ ear/ or tooth infection. Because symptoms for that are present all over the side of my face (mouth) that is effected. I’m setting up for a doctor appointment next week and will go to dentist if needed. I also have a history of chronic pain and conditions corresponding with intense stress and emotional issues. I’ll be taking the weekend off, as I have not had more than 24 hours off subs in over a week.
I am doing so as we speak