Alright, this post is meant to process some thoughts that have been on my mind for a long time
it’s not meant to be subversive or a criticism just a gauge.
People are welcome to comment but I’m more just voicing this for my own process and just communicate-even to the ether, some of my frustrations.
I have had tremendous results in many areas in my journey with Sub Club and
I always felt happy with what I was running, even if I questioned what may better serve me. I always felt good about running subs and running the subs I chose.
It’s mostly in regards to QV2 over the last few months I have not felt this way.
I know there is some fun made over the idea that QV2 is ‘too strong’ etc but I cannot for the life of me get a real handle on this beast.
Let me start by saying it works, it obviously works.
What I am wondering now is does it work for me in the way I want the assistance of a sub to work.
Most recently I have seen some obvious breakthroughs with AM and/or Emperor Bloom
I am not questioning results, I am questioning sustainability and quality of life experience
The ONLY time I feel REMOTELY ok is if I cause a massive new result towards what is aligned with the goal of the sub, the rest of the time it’s like my wheels are spinning.
Since running QV2 I have experienced depths of anxiety, difficulty and challenges, physical recon, hyper vigilance, inability to fully feel, being profoundly disconnected from a sense of myself and my life, generally just enjoying life less and/or having more difficulty.
At times this breaks into just solidly feeling emotionally, which is a reprieve, but my day to day this is the backdrop. I don’t know if this is recon or the standard effect, title specific etc. I really don’t want to ‘blame’ anything, including myself, but I’d like to understand more of what I am dealing with.
I’ve also grown tremendously in maturity and life through dealing with this, but again, I don’t know if that is what I want to deal with to get there.
I have done a month wash out, I have tried different listening patterns and permutations. And what I have settled on is 1 loop per title every 5-7 days for the last I believe two months (I believe). And still all this persists it comes and goes and is getting better in that I am used to it, and as I take more and more action. But I don’t know if I have it in me to catch up in life and movement with what would have this not be recon.
Now I can be with it, and the effects and results are indeed so potent that I’ve chosen it’s worth it but man…I MISS THE JUST FEELING GOOD. (@RVconsultant your point about sanguine is notes 
)
Feeling good isn’t everything but neither is results. Causing a breakthrough in my finances is super important to me and subs so give the edge so on we go.
There are other factors that are likely making it more difficult to burn off some of this ‘recon’ but that is my general sense.
What I’ve loved in the past was how amazing my inner experience of life on subs way, now my inner experience feels irrelevant and disconnected. Again perhaps recon or alpha/productivity title specific.
Anyway-could just be in recon now-so just wanted to get that out.
Continuing my 1 title 1 loop a week experiment with AM for now.
I will also experiment with other titles to see if the AM/Emperor base on QV2 is title specific for this.
@Sub.Zero please don’t re-post this in QV2 section want to keep this personal to my journal-thanks
