I can already tell that reducing exposure and giving myself time to integrate was a good call. The inner turmoil has quietened down and I can see now the new beneficial patterns of behavior that are starting to integrate (and because I see them, I can take action on them).
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listening day 6 - GLM + EOG1
The good ol’ feeling of “nothing is happening” coupled with a regress to old habits
The true reconciliation
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This feeling lifted and now I see that this is a strong bout of recon
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Apparently, subs work in bouts for me. Just when I thought that recon from 15s has ended and I reconciled everything at that duration, I started reconciling stuff again lol
For example, on EOG1, initially I was processing features like “Embrace small manifestations”, “Investing made simple”, etc. without touching some others
And today my mind have started to process these:
Wealth from Passion
Encourages you to align your financial pursuits with what brings you joy and fulfillment. Helps you uncover the potential of your passions to generate wealth while fostering a life of authenticity and purpose. By trusting that what you love holds value for others, you transform your efforts into meaningful contributions that naturally invite abundance, creating a cycle of joy, connection, and prosperity.
Aligning Wealth with Purpose
Guides you to view wealth as a tool to serve your highest goals and values, transforming financial pursuits into a reflection of your deepest purpose. Helps you align money with your vision, fostering investments and decisions that resonate with your authentic self. By redefining wealth as a means of creating meaning, connection, and legacy, you move beyond comparison or fear, building a life where finances support the expression of who you truly are.
The Worthiness Recalibration
Addresses the quiet, often unseen question of worthiness that can limit your capacity to receive abundance. Helps you recognize and release the subconscious beliefs that tie wealth to struggle, achievement, or validation. By nurturing an inherent sense of self-worth, you align with the flow of abundance as a natural part of your life. This recalibration transforms wealth from something to be earned into something to be received and shared freely, creating a foundation for a life rich with possibility and freedom.
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Whenever I work, I’m feeling very good. Enthusiastic, energetic, in the flow, absorbed in the activity
Then why the hell do I have such strong self sabotage towards starting to work? I literally procrastinated 6 hours this morning
I feel good whenever I’m working for about 95+% of the work sessions. I know this fact. I don’t want to stop working when I already started. Yet just starting to work is insanely hard for some reasons
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Your post made me think of a verse from Tao Te Ching:
So sometimes things are ahead and sometimes they are behind;
Sometimes breathing is hard, sometimes it comes easily;
Sometimes there is strength, and sometimes weakness;
Sometimes one is up and sometimes downTherefore the wise avoid extremes, excesses, and complacency.
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Woke up with zero recon, feeling amazing. I’m feeling ready to increase exposure, it seems that I’ve worked through most of the issues at 15s. But I’m still going to do keep 15s until the end of this week
I had a fight with someone this morning and instead of having an anger outburst like usual when someone tries to cross my boundaries, I just calmly distanced myself from the person after giving them one warning to not do what they did
That is a positive result for me because those anger moments would drain my energy usually, and I’d keep thinking about the situation. And today, it just didn’t happen, I’m feeling good. GLM rocks
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There’s some resistance towards reading GLM copy for some reasons. Like, I sometimes re-read the sales page to see which features are kicking in, which features seem to produce recon, etc.
And in the last few days I’ve done that a few times with EOG and it was fine, yet I get a strong internal resistance towards doing that for GLM for some reasons lol
And if I do, I just start to get distracted, etc. I wonder why it happens
I’ll take some time to read it today and journal about it
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day 7 - GLM + EOG1 + E:E (15s)
Read the sales page of GLM yesterday, still don’t know the cause of that resistance
Added E:E to help with productivity issues.
If I encounter any issues, I’ll lower the exposure even more
Other than that, rather reactive today. It’s weird because I seem to be calm on the inside and react on the outside - those anger bursts don’t drain the energy. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not lol
Also, very horny today lol
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seems like once the surface level recon is cleared, some really deep work begins
I’m noticing some deep identity level changes, some of which are so subtle /deep that I can’t articulate them properly.
I know they are happening because some standard actions feel “unusual”. Like, I just went to buy groceries, and act of paying for them felt somehow different
Same is happening with my general behavior and confidence - something feels very different, some changes are subtle, but it’s like the core driver behind them is changing and modifying
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Also, my hunger has decreased drastically without me even noticing. I’d usually have like 3 meals + occasional snacks and for the last few days I just had one meal in the morning and one in the evening
And I’m absolutely not hungry during the day
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E:E is acting already and I see my mind is trying to reconcile some impulses and find the solutions to my issues with work/productivity, but right now it’s failing lol. But at least there’s an urge to “lock in”
E:E needs more time. On my side, I’m consciously doing everything that I know works for me in regards to productivity
After adding it to my stack, I thought some more about it and I’m considering having it there until I have enough passive income to live off.
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Tbh seeing how much work and improvement I have ahead of me, I might as well run GLM+EOG1+EE for a year straight lol
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Rest Day
Saw dreams during the night, saw dreams during the nap too. One was weird, with demons in it and I was turned into one but was fighting against them lol
The other dream was just about work, nothing unusual. I think it was Executive tackling the work aversion issue I mentioned in this post:
I do feel strong recon though, I’ll decrease the duration of EE only to 7 sec and will go from there.
Somehow I went from a person running full loops to becoming extremely sensitive to subs lol. I guess that’s a good thing though
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Been seeing a lot of repeating numbers lately. Like 5:55, 3:33, etc.
I don’t know if I believe that it’s of any importance or not, but it’s interesting
Also, decided to not do Ascension Chamber for now. I’ll consider adding it back to my stack when it’s updated OR when I get to 5+ min loops at least for my stack. Don’t want to add any more burden to my processing queue
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Listening day 8 - GLM + EOG1 + E:E (15s + 5s)
(The first number represents GLM and EOG, the second number - E:E)
Let’s test 5s of EE.
Today would also be the final day of the old ZP schedule. I don’t feel that I need washout tbh but I’m going to do an early one after 1-2 more weeks. I’m going on a trip so I think it’s a good idea to rest a bit from the subs
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Much more productive today. Now my focus is to just slowly get EE to the same level as other subs
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Yeah, 5 sec is def. much better for Executive. Though I’m still feeling some lingering recon from 15s
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E:E long-term, no doubt lol
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Relationships with money definitely feels different but I can’t really say how and in what way. It’s like there’s more familiarity?
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