Thanks mate - It’s good to be back!
And the timing, ah the timing. Now they released Sanguine v2, which is precisely what I need right now. And I’m finishing up my two cycles of Phoenix and TWTP now so I can get started on Sanguine next.
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Update!
I’ve finished two cycles of ASBR and I feel amazing, and I want to do more of it! ASBR/SB is precisely my cup of archetypal tea. But there are so many things I want to run, too. I will probably do two cycles of WB now, and then re-evaluate after that.
I’m also starting my second cycle of LB and Sanguine. I just realized the other day that I’ve been pushing myself so hard these past couple of years, and my drive for self-development has been relentless, and while it has been rewarding it has also been unbelievably exhausting. No wonder I went into burnout last August. But I’m kinda glad that it happened. And, well, I clearly asked for it. 
I’ve realized that one of my toxic traits is that I’ve more or less always been running the whole 15 minutes of a ZP title - even when I start fresh with one. But I’ve become wiser now by continuously bashing my head against a brick wall, and so from now on I will stick to a strict 7 minutes until I’ve reached a flow with that specific title.
Another toxic trait of mine is that I want to do everything at the same time. I keep planning and theory-crafting Q-builds for every area of my life that I want to develop, and what I want would require 5 different customs with 3 cores each… And ain’t gonna fly. And hell, it would take several years for any person to achieve what I want to do for myself so…
The bottom line is that I need to focus on one area at a time. Again, I’ve grown wiser and I recognize this as the ever-present “I want to be there now” kind of… uhm… chronic recon? Yeah, that’s probably it.
@RVconsultant thank you for putting together the microloop summary. It made me re-realize how important it is not to push it too much too soon.
Anyway. The plan for now is to chill, lean into WB while continuing LB and Sanguine while waiting for the new updates to drop. And I am ready to get three customs and focus on those for now.
I got feedback from support on my Rev x3 build and it’s good to go:
The custom itself is technically okay, though something like this could generate some VERY life changing results as you delve deep within the self for answers.
However, if you are truly serious about meditation, stillness, etc., it might be okay. I’d proceed with caution if running this.
I’ll be making some minor tweaks, but overall it’ll be the same. For me, Rev x3 is a priority build and I’ll be getting it as soon as the Rev-series has been updated.
Another one I am excited about is… dun dun duuun! The Quantum Alchemist Khan Black! YES!
I’ve been meaning to revisit both QL and Alchemist, and incorporate Khan Black somewhere, somehow, for the long run. This seems like the obvious answer. KB just makes me feel so damn good, and paired with QL and Alch, I’ll be discharging electrostatic like a boss 
The third, which I am still on the fence about but also incredibly excited about… is an ASBR, WB, and Daredevil build. This one is for later (I think) as I would want to run the major store version of Daredevil first. The thought behind this one is that it covers much of the remainder of my Shadow, and I figured, why not develop that, and have some fun at the same time? 
Yeah. I don’t think I will be able to cram more into 2024 than that, tbh.
I am also thinking a lot about skill-building, and especially which skill tree(s) to spec into initially… leaning towards writing, leveraging tech (AI), and finance… I keep thinking about an RM:UW - Index Gate-build, possibly with the new ME or Limitless… And also maybe run EoG later this year.
Lastly - I would love to get proficient with RV and AP (don’t ask why - I am not sure myself). But maybe that’s for 2025.
I mean… for now, between three customs with Rev x3, QL, Alch, KB, and ASBR, WB, and Daredevil, I don’t think I really need to push it any further. Not to mention I’ll also have 51 modules between them, too. 
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Ran WB for 7 minutes (solo) yesterday, and I can’t remember the last time I felt this good in my own skin.
I just feel really chill and good about myself, and It elevated the relaxed state of being I’ve felt from Khan Black. Obviously Love Bomb and Sanguine play a huge role in that too.
Between the four of them, I feel that I’ve been able to deal with a part of my shadow that has been really hard to reach. In other words, I now not only accepted myself as is - but also with deep and genuine, radical self-love despite my oh-so-human flaws. I know I have do deal with them, sure. But when was the last time I didn’t carry around this useless and encumbering judgment of myself? When was the last time that I allowed myself to just be me, with all the wyrd and all the cringe, and just ball it anyway, and feel good about it?
That’s novel to me, and hell damn it feels good. I want everyone to feel like this, for real.
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What if I were to get ASBR, WB and Hero (instead of daredevil) in a custom, with RoM, RoD, RoS, and QL, Alch, and KB?
The perfect journey of Mystery.
Ah, why am I doing this to myself 
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Jotting down ideas for curstoms and fine-tuning it is so damn addictive. I know the feeling.
It’s like creating characters in an RPG game (like DIABLO) and adjusting the stats to make it just right.
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Haha yeah… and that’s my toxic trait lmao 
I love to do it with customs, but I get so easily into overwhelm. Especially when I’m already in recon, and end up with builds that are more or less “everything all at once”. Then I pester Support about it with a wall-o’-text, realize I was in recon and it was pretty stupid really because no way that’s a good idea, and then cancel the support ticket before they’ve had a chance to get back to me about it.
Like I said. It’s my toxic trait
I have a tendency to focus too much on an idea, rather than utility and what would be most useful to me where I am right now. But the gritty reality of right-now is not nearly as interesting as creating a grand vision about something far into the future.
I suppose that’s also a symptom of recon or overwhelm - and a way to create a situation where the reach of my grasp is never enough. Self-sabotage. Fearing success I suppose? Or feeling that I am not worthy enough (of a good outcome) and keeping myself instead in a perpetual limbo while having my limitless potential shown to me on a theatre screen as a means of torture.
Ah. Sounds like I’m in recon at the moment 
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I think you are having a journey in self-awareness.
One of the beauties of the ZP subliminals (whether main store or customs) is that each of them teaches you something along the way. And in this case, you had a good number of self-realizations even if you abandon your customs or stacks.
Am speaking from a similar experience (aside from writing to support. That part you wrote was hilarious) but I know that feeling of wanting to get everything handled but not being able to.
Meanwhile, we inch ourselves to success, one mini-enlightenment after another and eventually we shall see that even though the journey was long and full of self-sabotaging detours, we had somehow made it thanks to the subliminals aiding our subconcious mind.
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Aha haha. Yeah, I think so too. The power of ZP and ZPv2 really is staggering - and I keep forgetting that in the everyday grind just how potent it truly is. I am hit with new insights and epiphanies on a daily basis now, both about myself, and the world around me.
And I don’t see it as abandoning a stack or a custom (I’ve only gotten 1 so far) but more like a process of continuous evolution. As I reach a new level it may also bring the realization that what I need is something different entirely from what I initially thought. Ergo, why I keep closing my own support tickets. 
But yeah. Closing my own tickets because I’ve already come to an answer myself… I feel kinda silly about that. I should stick to journaling here instead. Let you guys stop me before I contact support lmao. Sorry guys @ sc/support! 
Anyway.
YES! This, right here. I didn’t know how to express it but you really put words to it. It’s like a race where you move forward with crawling speed at times. It is excruciating, but before you know it you’re halfway there already. I’ll keep this in mind from now on.
And speaking of mini-enlightenments.
I’ve just realized something that is a bit counterintuitive but also oh so obvious, when you stop to think about it. Everyone is talking about “Ego-Death” and how we must “remove our egos” and so on because it’s “toxic”. But without balance that’s just more “toxic ego”. A Lightworkers’ Shadow Self.
Because what Ego really is (as I’ve come to see it) is the core will of our Self. It’s our aiming mechanism, and our drive and desire to manifest what we want in our lives. I see it now as neutral in its nature, like a powerful tool you would wield to shape the world around you. What comes of it depends on how you wield it, and it may express itself in a healthy way, or an unhealthy way.
I realized a few days ago that over the years I’ve dissolved my Ego so much that it was basically non-existent. Especially so for the past decade. Ironically, by doing that I also gave up on my personal power, which led to an increased expression of more “toxic behaviors”. In my case a lack of Ego made me more toxic, as I became more negative, more depressed, and more unable to be gratuitous or even regulate my emotions properly. I ended up in a mode of learned helplessness, and a victim mentality.
Who would have thought that lack of (balanced) Ego is just another aspect of one’s Shadow…
ASBR and Wanted Black really helped me realize this as I’ve been asking myself more and more what I want from life. I have neglected what I want for such a long time that I actually, sort of, forgot how to think about it in a healthy manner. Just by leaning into that more, I’ve started to like myself again. What what. I did not expect that.
And also I’ve come to realize that while I would love to dive into the deep spirituality and reality shifting of a RoM/RoS/RoD custom alongside a QL/Alchemist/KB custom - I am really not at the right character level to run them at this time. I need to grind a bit more XP. Just a little more.
It’s true, I want it all. But right now I can’t have it.
So I’m trying to kill my darlings and decide on one direction to go. With that in mind, I am still leaning towards getting my TKSP-custom as a long-term grinding gear, and then stack things as the need arises. Let me know what you guys think of it.
TKSP-custom
The Kitchen Sink Project:
A Stark Black Reality
Wanted Black
HERO: Origins
New Dawn
Transcendental Connection
Achilles’ Heel
Furious Ascent
King’s Radiance
Eyes of Zenith
Lifeblood Fable
Cosmic Wealth
Void of Creation
Eventide
Mystery
Gentleman’s Speech
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
New Romance Experience
Inner Blaze
Epigenetic’s & DNA Modulator
I should also do a proper week-long washout next week too. It’s been a while now…
EDIT: For the custom, I might be better of with the new PRIMAL instead of WB, and NR instead of Hero… For a more focused title. I mean, I want the physical shifting from both WB and Hero and the other stuff. But to be honest all that is secondary. What I really need is that internal drive and purpose… I can always stack WB and Hero, and Primal and NR are better aligned with my long term goals.
I’m getting closer. But for now I’ll let this cook for a while.
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Yeah. Maybe I should just, idk, try to not kitchen-sink it.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll achieve more focus by not trying to do, uhm, everything at once. Maybe just stick to one artisanal title at the time.
Maybe I should just, idk, do a washout or something. And then triangulate a stack that carries, and stick with it long enough to let it settle 
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This will be a badass stack. Can feel it.
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Apparently, I’m gonna be live on national TV tomorrow for a debate about a new law proposition… and the channel wanted me there for my perspective.
ASBR is no joke 
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Badass indeed!
Though I’m wondering if WB is the right choice here, or if I should go with Primal instead.
Alright, I’m nearing a decision here. Personal growth these past weeks has been insane. But I can see things a lot clearer now. Spirituality is very important to me and I will be getting those customs at some point - but now is not the time for that. I can’t force-feed myself ‘spirituality’ like that if I haven’t even reached stability in my mundane life, so that’s where my focus will be. I might stack a spiritual major title like RoS, but custom-wise that will have to wait.
The trajectory I see for myself for now is a custom with ASBR, Primal, and Daredevil - and pair that with either QL/New limitless, and a third title (possibly WB or GMX. For fun, maybe? :)) and then lean into the new EoG when it drops and keep leaning into business and money making mode.
The current build iteration is this then:
A Stark Black Reality
PRIMAL
Daredevil
New Dawn
Transcendental Connection
Achilles’ Heel
Furious Ascent
King’s Radiance
Eyes of Zenith
Lifeblood Fable
Call of Honor
Cosmic Wealth
Void of Creation
Eventide
Mystery
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
New Romance Experience
Inner Blaze
Epigenetic’s & DNA Modulator
I realize that to succeed in anything you need to make connections. And what is that? Social skill and grace, which have been a vulnerability of mine for my entire life. That, and inner frame. It’s time to do something about that - hence my choice of both Primal and Daredevil. I also need to ignite that adventurous spark again.
Then we go for the money.
And then we go for the cosmos.
Let me know what you guys think.
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I have retvrned.
After a long-or-so soujourn through my own metaphorical Underworld, I ehhmerge. Not overly victorious, but more Phyrrically so. Alive sure, but terribly briused up. My Self did not like that particularly… Nor did I keep any notes of it either. What the damn…
Ehem…
Anyway.
After running the OG Dragon Reborn way back when loops were still 60 minutes and you had to listen to it several times per day, I swore never to do another multistage again.
After that I folded, as I ran Quantum Limitless and Alchemist at the same time period, alternating the titles. That was… interesting… Again, I swore never to do another multistage again, beacuse that was rough.
Then Khan Black dropped, and I knew despite my clarity and determination not to indulge in another multistage, as I read the copy I knew it was a lost cause to resist…
Having completed two cycles of KB st4 back in January I felt satisfied. Now maybe I could finally get that Khuantum Alchemist Black custom that I had been wanting for, for so long. Or by heavens, that Revelations-trio custom that I felt was just over the horizon. Alas, that did not happen either.
Instead a flood of gems dropped, and I managed two cycles of ASBR, which really resonated with me but also put me in the spotlight in a somewhat wierd manner that was not quite the way I wanted to, albeit at the time important in the grand scheme of things. I also managed to get in three cycles of Dragon Reborn Phoenix because really, who dosen’t love catastrophic radical self-transformation? I was also able to run the new Sanguine and oh boy that felt good, and also two cycles of E:TWTP, which was just amazing.
It was April now, and after a week’s washout I decided on Primal and Daredevil as my go-to subs, as I figured they covered the largest aspects I wanted to fix that still lingered in my Shadow. But that only lasted for one cycle. This was mid-late April, and I would once again find my plans foiled. You see…
Something happened at work, and I also realized that I need to fix my dependent nature in my relationship… and also, the fire nation attac— eh… I mean, Synergy dropped (damn you Fire and Saint why god why!?)
So, ditching Primal and DD for now, I continued with two cycles of E:TWTP and also, unironically, WB. I am not sure why but I just felt intuitively drawn to running WB. And not because of a notion of ‘having lots of ladies’ (du’h im in a relationship) but more a search of the feeling that I am my own person relationship-wise. This was at the time not particularly clear to me, but after having run it for a few loops I felt myself feeling more independent and not as unhealthily attached, which of course lead to a feeling of more interdependence, which is really the golden state in every relationship. With this my emotional stability increased, and I started to feel more ‘as my own person’ again. It was curious, ironic, but not particularly surprising. And the gambit paid of in the end.
At this time I also jumped on the Synergy kitchensink bandwagon, and following my own advice (as I never do), I created a monster. I was and am happy with it, but it’s a monster nevertheless. I started out with short loops and increased over time, but like I mentioned elsewhere the past two weeks have been… a lot. So I am reducing exposure for now and following @RVconsultant’s advice with 48 hour breaks in between.
I call it:
"Oculus Of The Magi"
Minds Eye Core
New Limitless
Ascension Chamber
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
New Romance Experience
Epigenetic’s & DNA Modulator
Fortune’s Favourite
Cosmic Wealth
Synergy: The Golden One
Synergy: Energetic Transcendence
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Synergy: 42
Synergy: Winner Overdrive
Synergy: Perfection Manifestation
Synergy: Preordained Vitality
Synergy: Master of the World
Synergy: Subconscious Mastery
Synergy: Heaven Shaking Power
Synergy: Harmonic Conflux
I also realized looking back now, that I am already in my third cycle of it. Huh, time flies, dosen’t it.
Oh, and this brings me to last week, when I once again did not keep my word of never running another multistage again, and instead embarked upon yet another journey, now with the fresh-out-of-the-oven searing hot Dragon Reborn Red. Huzzzah!
Having run it for a week now I must say I am very, very satisfied with that decision. I especially love the rebellious scripting of Red, as it meshes with my freedom-loving Sagittarius personality surprisingly well.
But something was missing…
Indeed, I still had things I needed to do. Both in the real world (like finding another job…) but also more soul-crushing shadow work, and aligning myself with what continuously calls to me which is the Spiritual Path, and more specifically that of exploring the nature of reality (and superreality) through dreams. This meant that while I would let the Red Dragon burn away the old (new?) deadwood, and The Oculus would superchage any manifestation, visualization, creative abilities and also my dream skillz, I still needed something to keep me company for the journey ahead. Something more down-to-earth, but also reaching for the sky at the same time.
So I decided. Truly, it was not so much of a decision but more an actualization of a previous intent. See, I cannot describe how well Emperor Black felt back then. It was the subliminal to express and align myself with my nature as a Scorpio Ascendant, both in intensity but also proclivity to self-reflection and shadow work, and authentic, no-BS radical self-acceptance and diligence to work through it. I remember it also provided much-needed dicipline last time I ran it, and I am in dire need of that right now. But Emperor Black would not be enough to carry me through this journey. No, I needed something to balance all that. Something… heavenward. So of course that would be Hero: Origins. And now with Synergy I could finally cram everything that I wanted and then-some into a custom.
But hey, that’s not all of it! Because why settle with merely two artisan cores and an overload of synergy modules, when you can have three artisan cores and an overload of synergy modules…!?
So yes, I argued indeed that including Revelation of Dreams in this endeavor would create a veritable triumvirate of Earth, Heaven, and the In-between - should I survive it. Indeed, this is a start of a new journey. A sojourn beyond the dark forest. Across the mountaintops, and into the depths of the self. This is…
"The Wandering Prince: Origins"
Emperor Black
Hero Origins
Revelation of Dreams
New Wealth Experience
New Learning Experience
Epigenetic’s & DNA Modulator
Dream Traveler
New Dawn
Achilles’ Heel
King’s Radiance
Mystery
Job Seeker
Synergy: Carpe Vitam
Synergy: Tale of the Dragon
Synergy: Iron Law
Synergy: Breath of the Storms
Synergy: Semper Praesens
Synergy: At The Top
Synergy: Inescapable Gaze
Synergy: Machine Totality
Over all I am satisfied with this build, but I am also terrified (and for good reason!).
Needless to say, I will be very careful when I start using this, and I know the journey will be rough. The order is placed so I’ll get it after the weekend most-likely. Needless to say, I will be the responsible adult that I am (?!) and start with microloops, as is custom.
And lastly…
May ye tremble as the sky shatters, for I have included Synergy: Tale of the Dragon. As I run this custom expect a terrifying, crackling, and even unreasonable increase of terribly formulated puns and dad-jokes. I implore you to run, for Dragon Reborn: Puns is already upon you!
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You have been ambitious and business.
This is not advice. It’s not an official SC recommendation. That was a thought.
If you use that idea, please notice how it works for you compared to 1 rest day.
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Ah, but of course. It’s more of exploring a different approach - tweaking the amount of exposure and processing time.
I’ll take note of how it works out and report back! 
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Reading through the Khan Black forum thread have me really thinking.
Years ago when I first got interested in the subject of Kundalini I thought that it was pretty straightforward, even if difficult. I even scoffed at the notion of the traditional gatekeeping of nebulous and far-away gurus, and I figured “this will merely take a few years to achieve”… Hah! Such folly. Such ignorance. This is The Work. Indeed, a work of an entire lifetime… I yielded my quickfixitus and resigned. For now I am satisfied with the notion of ‘better living’ through these practices. I’ll do the work, and if I’ll get there I’ll get there.
It would seem I’ve grown wiser over the years, and now I get it. Even though I hate it, I get it.
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The custom arrived this weeked. I’ve only ran it once so far, but boy is it smooth. Even if my body is tired, I felt my spirit rise to indomitable levels, and my inner frame became rock solid.
Just as planned.
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Been running TWPO for a cycle now and it truly delivers. Although, I had to drop the Oculus this last cycle. It was too much with two customs and DRED st1 simultaneously. I was able to get 3 cycles of the Oculus in total, and I will start to re-introduce it with micro loops soon when DRED settles a bit.
And also, I’ve been wondering why I’ve felt like absolute crap for the past 4 weeks. Well. I’ve just completed 2 cycles of DRED st1 so that’s why
I am really looking forward to start DRED stage 2 next week. In fact this is the perfect time for me to run DR again and prepare me for what’s coming. 2025 will be a year of absolute victory.
Just as planned.
EDIT: Also, when the new ME drops I’m gonna revamp the Oculus. Cut out a number of synergy-modules and make it a lot lighter and more focused and stream-lined with the Limitless and Ascension Chamber cores. It’s going to be bloody amazing.
And speaking of ME, I’m just gonna drop this here for future reference:
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I started DRED st2 last week, and I realize now how difficult stage 1 actually was. Glad that’s over with.
Also, by a mere chance of an odd synchronicity I was bestowed a card from a card collecting game, a ‘legendary’ creature aptly named Flubs, the Fool. The picture of the card is a Frog, in the image of The Fool from the Tarot. It’s a silly card, for sure.
But The Fool, is no fool. It bears meaning of embarking on an adventure and sojourn, with a bit of naive optimism perhaps, not knowing what lies ahead, but facing the unknown nonetheless. But what it also means, for an older Fool, is that we’ve already been here before: we’ve completed one ‘fools journey through the major arcana’. A journey that ‘ends’ with the World card, where the Fool reenters the world, older and possibly (hopefully) a bit wiser. But the journey doesn’t end here, as the Fool soon embarks on another fool’s/hero’s journey of growth and adventure once more through the major arcana. Full circle.
The World
The Fool reenters the World (21), but this time with a more complete understanding. He has integrated all the disparate parts of himself and achieved wholeness. He has reached a new level of happiness and fulfillment.
The Fool experiences life as full and meaningful. The future is filled with infinite promise. In line with his personal calling, he becomes actively involved in the world. He renders service by sharing his unique gifts and talents and finds that he prospers at whatever he attempts. Because he acts from inner certainty, the whole world conspires to see that his efforts are rewarded. His accomplishments are many.So the Fool’s Journey was not so foolish after all. Through perseverance and honesty, he reestablished the spontaneous courage that first impelled him on his search for Self, but now he is fully aware of his place in the world. This cycle is over, but, the Fool will never stop growing. Soon he will be ready to begin a new journey that will lead him to ever greater levels of understanding.
So getting this card, The Fool, out of nowhere pretty much confirmed what I was already feeling, that one journey is now done, and soon I’ll be off having another adventure.
But what really got me about this card was the flavor text:
“He knows exactly where he’s going and exactly how he isn’t getting there.”
And that hit me hard. And I mean really-silly-metaphor-in-the-guts-kind of hard.
But more importantly, I’ve now found my Archetype.
And it’s name
is Flubs.
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