Yesterday was my DRR listening day. Had a personal incident with a family member going off on me for something that wasn’t true, I stopped them, told my side of the story and they started to go off again so I said “I’m done with the drama. STFU because I’m not listening to it anymore.” Then hung up and turned my phone to airplane mode. It was my Mom. Long story, long history.
It brought up a lot of baggage from my past so I walked up to a park. I was not in a good mood but I wasn’t stewing over it the same that I normally do. I was actually going through incidents and essentially healing them in my mind. Difficult to explain. The park up the street has a lot of Pine and Fir trees which is awesome. There is a particular smell that is quite pleasing. You’d know what I mean if you’ve ever walked in a pine and/or Fir forest.
l soaked up the decently warm sunny weather and the smells from the trees. I am noticing that Summertime (one 30 second microloop so far) seems to allow me to really truly appreciate little things. See the beauty more than ever. Butterflies (rarely see them anymore) just seem like such an incredible blessing on earth. Same thing with birds and flowers. It’s actually difficult to explain.
Look, I appreciated those things before, or so I thought. It’s on a different level now. I’m not saying I stop everything and sit and watch a butterfly for hours. I’m not on LSD. But I certainly take a pause for a moment.
Before I would appreciate things like that but not really take a moment to enjoy it. A quick pause (if walking, obviously) takes just a few seconds. Not minutes or hours. So I’m not talking anything extreme here, but dang, it only takes a few seconds to appreciate things. We’re programmed to go, go, go and not appreciate things anymore. It feels worse since the pandemic. Everyone and everything is constantly vying for our attention and money. (been that way for decades). Stopping and admiring something beautiful is free and doesn’t take much time.
I’m thinking DRR is something that anyone who is struggling with Summertime recon should truly look at adding to their stack. I’ve been using DRR for a while, but after having the DRR listening day yesterday I chilled out even more and the possible Summertime recon chilled and allowed Summertime to essentially bloom. That’s my theory and wanted to include it in my journal so I can go back and see if it’s true.
Sorry for the rambling in my journals but sometimes the little things prove to be important and as I work with these subs I notice that if I didn’t write things down I tend to forget a lot because my mind is working through so much. I expect it because of my trauma history. I don’t really have a memory problem it’s just our minds can truly only focus on so much at a time.
