I’m going to guess you’re unblocking something and it’s about to be released
These feelings happened to me a little while ago and I’m pretty sure it was something getting healed
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I’m in acceptance of the process that is all, I wish for some profound breakthroughs to occur here in the next few weeks. That would be very positive.
Once I had time to sit for meditation this morning the flow of energy unfurled inside of me and I began to feel instantly better.
Whenever I feel any kind of strangeness inside I just need to sit with myself for a little bit in a private and contained space where I am not disturbed. Since I was constantly in public and surrounded by people I did not have this time for myself and whatever internal process was going on was given full sway over my being instead of my putting it under control as I did now.
Deep changes are integrating, during such phases it is best to keep fully in touch with your inner state and correct it where needed, if you allow things to just flow it might flow in the wrong direction and take more work to correct.
Time for some deep journaling and shadow work I think.
Brought an old friend from the past with my on vacation and suddenly since his arrival all my issues from the past are resurfacing. Suddenly feeling very broken inside, low self-esteem and the such.
Not sure why or what. Bad memories and a broken identity from the past…
I need to fix this. Just want to be fully happy, joyful, have fun, feeling good about myself and the life I’m living.
Going through some extremely deep soul work right now.
I can literally feel myself shapeshifting. All the identities I’ve held onto in the past, different aspects of the self, all colliding. Probably due to this work the programs are not showing themselves clearly as it is dominating the whole experience.
This work will release me from past attachments and aspects of myself that are no longer serving my highest life path. Ill transform every little part of it into wisdom.
Parts of my I thought that were long gone are suddenly felt and experienced. These parts I had long departed from showing themselves just as one last moment for me to wave them goodbye.
High consciousness work. The human being can transcend its limitations and do away with parts that burden its soul. Only when this part of the shadow has been completely illuminated can the true being come forth. An unusual form of work, at times painful, difficult, but very rewarding.
Peculiar feeling right now. Like a long lost connection with myself is being reborn, a deep sense of self-connection. The feeling that a part of me that was totally asleep, so much so that I had forgotten it was even there has reawakened.
A newfound sense of self-expression that I am noticing within myself. As if I am more creatively existing within my own subjective world whereas before something was blocked and not properly flowing.
Time to fully reconnect and establish myself!
I want to become completely present and have absolute mental silence and peace of mind, not sure if that is even possible while using these programs as some form of extreme mental processing and disturbance is always there for me.
I get mentally drawn into absolute weird situations that may or may not even be relevant to my life or needed for my growth. Drawn in so far that I almost lose my way in it. Lost in it.
Only when you become completely silent beyond all thought does an inner knowing and clarity arise that you will never experience within the realm of active thinking. Once you are in that state all questions disappear and a knowing that is beyond thought becomes accessible.
After just reading the Godlike Masculinity page I realise after the first few loops I’ve just been resisting the whole program and in constant reconciliation. Not seeing any of the results that is on the page, if anything, I am only seeing the opposite of it.
I don’t think deep within I am accepting the program and allowing it to pass through my nervous system which may be why I have so much tensions.
I don’t know how to resolve this perhaps I should try a more irregular listening pattern try full loops for longer days, microloops for longer days. More loops here and there?! Whatever I have been doing has not eradicated the block that keeps my from resisting the process of accepting a program on a deep level where it just flows within me and executes fully without resistance. Just allowing. Just being with it as if it was always me.
I only feel tired and don’t want to do much of anything. No desire, no motivation, no will, no flow, no creativity, no beautiful realities coming into my life. Nothing. Just moments and glimpses here and there that I get with the subliminals lasting maybe a few hours or half a day if I am lucky and usually that still comes with inner turmoil.
Most of the time just reconciliation, constant reconciliation, constant processing and processes that take me away from living life and enjoying it. I am not even feeling fed-up, I just don’t even feel. I don’t care about nothing. Nothing matters. Nothing means anything in this state.
My only question is how long more of this? Is it really worth it? Months upon months I am going through “processes” and with what outcome? Where are the results? Where are the changes? I don’t feel like I am going through a transformation at all nor that there are visible changes besides some small little things here and there that are only temporary but never permanent.
Ready to stop using subs just makes me completely dysfunctional. For the 5 mins of results I get I get days on end of non stop suffering.
It completely tires me out to the point where I don’t want to do anything. I don’t desire anything, I don’t care about anything. Nothing means anything to me or matters to me.
Just depression.
Edit: I don’t want to stop using them but what even is this. This is not realistic nor manageable by any standard.
Everyone around me is happy and smiling without even running subs but I am “healing” “growing” “transforming” and thats why my mind is going through constant nonsense on subconscious level? Hmmm
And nothing is changing to be honest. Just the same old same old. No changes in beliefs perception, reality, behaviour, nothing. Only the first loop and the first two weeks then nothing…
Super tired of this.
Things are better now. Hopefully this leads to something. Just a breakthrough please thank you universe.
Idk what’s happening even.
It is full moon as well so… very intense but at the same time not really just sort of overload.
Don’t like that a subliminal program can put me through so much so quickly. To the point where basically my normal functioning goes out of the window.
This is not growth or progress to me this amount of power should only be used for people living inside of a cave.
I just hope this is not a permanent thing but that at least by the end of the year I no longer suffer from these kind of difficult reconciliation episodes…
Actually do have a new feeling within myself now maybe I am just bulging through a very deep inner blockage. But I have been here many times before not having any significant breakthrough somehow so not being super excited about it.
Journaling all this as a record for the future as I am forget the experience and fall back into a similar one. At that point I prefer to just take a different road and not the same one walking in circles forever.
I can clearly see I am going through some very difficult soul work. Parts of me that have been fragmented due to trauma. Calling these back in, soul aspects, working through the pain and with each package of painful memories that are worked out I am beginning like pieces of me are reintegrating and I am becoming more whole. This whole work may be sidetracking my progress with the subliminals a little bit. The subconscious mind and consciousness are quite connected and things can be pushed to the sideline and not find expression as other energies and alchemical processes are activating within the depths of human being.
Since sitting with myself I can clearly see this is going on. I can see a bit hallway at the end a door with a silver doorknop, to me it feels like behind this door something very special lies waiting for me. The hallway is filled with processes that have to be worked through before I ever reach the door. It could take long or it can be very short. It could be very difficult and very hard or very smooth and graceful. It is up to me how I walk through it and how much I allow this difficult journey across the hall to just fully happen without resistance.
After this process, I will be fully ME. The me that has lived beyond this lifetime. Not just some mental personalities and identities grown through time. But something much more. Consciousness is not limited by time nor is your true essence.
Suddenly I feel supported by the universe to get to where my higher self feels I need to be.
Now just need to let loose fully of the mind and ego who directs me everywhere but my highest path and destiny!
Been feeling drawn towards seduction and sexuality more lately. Not sure if I am just sailing the wave of New Wanted or whether it is because of other influences. Kind of feeling like I want to work on my looks, attractiveness, desire by women, my life in general money, success and other aspects that make me more interesting and attractive as a man in society. Of course things like my beard, grooming, having a nice hairstyle and wearing nice clothes that make me look flashy and stylish.
Not sure where all this comes from cause I don’t feel like running New Wanted would be good for me right now.
Something happened in the last few days, the sort of remembrance of parts of my memory and who I was that I had totally and completely rejected somehow. Through trauma, pain and suffering experiences in this lifetime, a few years ago, I totally rejected those parts of me and became lost. I no longer knew who I was and nothing mattered to me anymore. I lost connection with who I was. I never processed those painful experiences, traumas and was just walking around completely discombobulated, at the surface everything looked fine but deep within something was missing and I knew something was missing, a part of me that I was totally fragmented. Then life stress and constant pressure never allowed me to even process this pain and bring this part back into my being so I could become whole. Now suddenly a process has begun where all this is coming back into me and I doing to work of reintegrating it. This could will lead to a big shift in my life and where I am heading, make everything suddenly work out as this fake overlay in my mind will no longer prevent me from success and achieving the life of my dreams. Walking through life complete and whole while unlocking my full potential is a big thing!
Somehow I did not remember much about my old friendships, who I was back then, my childhood, my growing up phase… everything was gone. It is not gone but I was unwilling to see it, look at it and using my mind and energy to constantly keep it away—because something there was hurtful, painful, or I did not want to see and I just rejected and disconnected from my whole past.
It is time to finally fix this now and move forward with a newfound spirit of joy and happiness.
It is interesting also because as I call in these experiences and work through them I feel like exactly how I felt in those moments in time. Even if it was 5 years ago and I completely shifted into a different person those memories are still valid and when I jump into them for healing and integration I suddenly feel exactly how and who I was back then, it is kind of a nostalgic feeling in many ways but also very much interesting because I can see how these different identities that I embodied all created a different experience for me and attracted a completely different reality towards me. Personality creates personal reality it is very true. Your mind interfaces with the world around you, which is all co-created with your own subjective reality. The interactions you have, the people you meet, the experiences you attract, the things you manifest and create all happen unconsciously mirroring what is most deeply integrated as YOUR REALITY.
Now I will undo everything that does not serve me anymore, fully integrate everything and create a completely different reality for myself.
Suffering people and depressed people are not just brainwave states and chemical disruptions in the body. In fact they are first and foremost a mental reality they became attached to you and got lost in, unwilling to let go of that or not seeing any way out they get lost and stuck in this reality, some of them for decades, and the deeper it goes the more difficult to find an escape “in the mind of things” but once you see that all is mind… nothing lasts forever and you just collapse those realities and jump into something new.
One of the reasons I prefer to process something for a few hours to 24 hours tops and choose to just integrate it or let it go and not let a script run in my mind for days upon days because if internally, me, as a Soul does not wish to work with it anyway it will become a sort of internal fight, resist against it or completely ignore it and drain myself instead of just having it there for a few hours and realising… nah this is not for me, onto the next thing. Realities will not always conform to you even if you just keep processing, keep going, keep trying. Certain things are not mean for you and not for your life path.
Life is more mysterious than most people are willing to admit.
And the life within us should keep flowing, it is a living reality that you consciously interact with, if something gets stuck the culprit is always within the mind. The mind should become malleable and fluid, if this is not the case your identity, ego your mind just freezes and imprisons the boundless expression of your Soul which is beyond any identities or limitations. It is pure limitless imagination at play.
It is beyond what you can even imagine and conceive of: Our thinking words and language is also limited by what we even understand and can perceive through our perception. We only have words and language for what we know as a civilisation. And that itself is very limiting. New concepts will arise as we evolve and transcend these boundaries of limitation, the little cage and box we have lived in for so long. Once transcended completely new potentials will flow into our existence, some of them never imagined and thought of before.
To live a wonderous and happy life all that it requires is just a knowing and understanding of the truth. Because the truth is beyond the darkness of this fake reality we live in, and it is very beautiful, and filled with all things we desire; joy, love, happiness, bliss, life in its most grandiose ways.
I am my reality, I create my own reality, I am an extension of life, God and consciousness of which essence all is made. Life is fully in my hands. My creation is mine!
So much heart openings lately and I am not even using any love related programs. Just godlike masculinity which I am not feeling much of right now. It feels more like the anti-recon scripting in that program is unlocking a lot of the past programs I ran.
I am having a soft, loving and empathic vibe about me lol… nothing like glm. More like love bomb vibe.
Not sure what to report right now. I feel certain periods I don’t notice much from the programs or there is just not much flow in general. I wonder if for some unknown reason the subliminal is just being ignored from time to time.
Might go back to 30 seconds just to see if it is better. Since with 7 mins recon is gone but results also …
Now I am gonna try to just do less
Had some difficult moments over the past week or so, not much emotionally besides one day, more so mentally and in terms of mental reconciliation.
However, today I realise I may have grown so much but have not fully processed and internalised the growth. These are some drastic shifts that have happened. I have become to calm and stable. Things have greatly improved in my balance. I am always an harmonious individual and do not feel any ill feelings towards anybody, can easily merge with groups of people and keep the atmosphere peaceful, never feel any sudden feelings of negativity or chaos. This is how I have always been. Keeping everything peaceful around me.
The one thing that was missing for me was both balance and stability in my mind, the direction I am going and taking, my energy levels and my desire to achieve something. I used to turn at every corner and get nowhere for a long time, this time has now passed. A new time has come where I eagerly observe all my flaws, accept them in the now and correct them. Knowing that certain parts of me if left untransformed with inevitably lead to not succeeding, and success is one of my no negotiables in life. I will see the full potential of myself in this lifetime, no matter the difficulties or the obstacles to be surpassed.
More to come…
Doing some private journaling where I can fully express myself without filters. This feels very different. I feel hold myself back a lot here and cannot fully process the reconciliation process into writing because of that.
Even though I do not care much about and image as I have long let go of my attachment to identity I still filter to conform to the social structures and dynamics of this forum and for other private reasons.
Private journaling for that reason is much better as it is solely for me!
Suddenly completely new aspects have shown themselves.
Very much so, mate—it’s subconscious guidance at work. I’ve written about it recently here.
Well, it may be something specific to me, as our systems are different. However, since they operate according to the same rules, it might be relevant to report on this.
I ran my stack twice two days ago and experienced something I call ‘neuromuscular reconciliation,’ relating to neuromuscular sensations and effects within the body. Its basis, however, is psychosomatic, since our whole system is psychosomatic in nature.
The thing is, after running my stack twice, this neuromuscular reconciliation became quite prominent and somewhat uncomfortable—so much so that my body seemed to recoil inwardly in response to the discomfort.
This somatic recoiling used to be my physiological reaction whenever my whole system was overloaded with stimuli, producing a kind of psychosomatic discomfort similar to what we all feel in stressful situations or when our system is on high alert due to a sense of danger.
I felt that reconciliation as if my nerve endings in my chest—and slightly in the back of my head—were burning, and it lasted for around two hours. I also felt piercing pain in the same areas, but it was more muscular than neural.
I asked you because I knew you’ve had reconciliation experiences of this sort in the past.