Starting to miss New Alchemist now, the benefits where numerous. Now old habits and patterns and trying to take back hold of me. I am still having loads of dreams every night however, my brain just keeps processing.
Probably good to settle down with a program for a year or longer. This would be New Alchemist for me. I absolutely saw the potential of this program for me. I being heavily drawn to restart my progress but I want to wait a little bit longer to see if there is anymore surfacing that I can work through consciously.
Will be spending a lot of time in deep meditation to work through things.
Then probably reintroducing New Alchemist for another cycle and then continuing the next cycles stacked with Alchemist Singularity. Giving the 1 St Stage especially a lot of time to lay a proper foundation. Fromm St 2 onwards the program becomes very serious, the developments there are not for someone who just tip toes into Spirituality. By combining Alchemist Singularity I will gain some additional benefits with my practices that may not be provided by St1 and can just stick with it longer.
My goal is to have it go DEEP. If I do another washout like this I should not fall back into old patterns it should become a continuation of my growth,
A good amount of cycles of progress with a lot of action should do this for me. If a washout makes you fall back upon all the layers of programming before you set course on a new program it usually means whatever you did only touched the surface levels and layers. To go deeper, much deeper would be the goal here.
It looks like youâre on the right track, so Iâll stay out of it and see how it goes for you, mate.
However, consider coconut flakesâthey boost the energy system, and given the heavy processing, they might come in handy. Also, itâs about making sure you get enough sleep, water, and food. Physical activityâlike running, swimming, or heavy liftingâhelps as well.
Thank you! My goal eventually with New Alchemist is to become a master of energies and to have a presence of grace and wisdom that naturally induces transformation in others.
Yes tried all of that the issue itself appears to be something else.
Iâm trying to understand what and then resolve it.
It seems more like it is some form of a deep underlying blockage. So when scripting gets integrated I am still somehow fighting against it or something.
It will go away Iâm sure when the needed problems within myself are resolved. This may take time or it can happen overnight.
I am having very good results actually when I look at it just underneath all of that something is still not quite in place I donât know if it is reconciliation or something else that is why I am currently doing an extended washout to figure out what is going on underneath.
I didnât want to step in, since youâre already on the right track.
When it comes to whatâs going on underneath, just remember that there are lots of intrusive thoughts and unsolicited emotions that have absolutely no value when it comes to identifying issues to work on consciouslyâthey simply need to be waited out. They arise and settle on their own, just like in our natural reconciliation cycle that occurs on a daily basis. I called that phenomenon low-level recon, as it is subliminally induced.
Oftentimes, itâs accompanied by illusory regression that feels like a temporary fallback into old patterns.
This is actually an indicator that those patterns are being reconciled. If you can clearly discern certain issues, it usually means they may require more subliminal inputâand sometimes additional conscious workâto be fully worked through.
Youâre still processing, as you know, so giving your mind more time is the best course of action. I recommended all that stuff (coconut flakes etc.) because itâs about keeping your system in an optimal stateâit needs loads of energy to process all that scripting.
I would never run more loops if I kept waking up feeling groggy (what you called âfried brainâ) as itâs an indicator that your system is depleted energetically.
Later on, low-level recon can be counterbalanced by another session of subliminal input or you can wait it out. I recommend the latter as running your loops would make the processing more intensive and could cause prolonged low-level recon later on.
This means that low-level recon is gradually being lifted, and your mind is slowly shifting from processing to executionâthough itâs not quite there yet. Iâd also suggest giving your mind more time and energy to continue processing the scripting.
You can always step in. My viewpoints vary a little bit from yours however. For one everyones brain works different, how a scientist operates compared to a philosopher or a sage, compared to an autist, or however you want to label these people is very different. Compared to a newborn child.
The mind does not have to be all struggle, instrusive thoughts and overthinking. I very strongly believe you have been focused for a lot of hours on the reconciliation process and formed a strong conclusion about it and believe everything to be true but I always question reality to find out the real truth. And I know I have always, for the most part of my live, lived without any such instrusive thoughts, or deep mental processes which cause anxiety and difficulty within myself that is difficult to get a grip of.
Besides this and I donât want to argue with every single point you made but some things I know not to be true from both my own experience and from the experience of very intelligent individuals and humans beings with a deep sense of integrity and who have no reason to lie to me.
The truth is for me I donât like how my mind interacts with the programs right now so I had to give it a break. I want everything to run its course because I know once everything is fully resolved and processed I can have peace of mind. If a human being does not work himself up consciously you can be in peace of mind very easily. Thats the whole point of a meditation practice in a certain sense you want to reach to a state where your mind becomes more empty, relaxed, at ease, calm and your brainwaves and chemical make-up will reflect your real time thought process. You will feel very nice and you will be happy.
I see subliminal programming as a powerful means to create a reality. Whatever is established in the mind is bound to manifest.
Actually I am trying to get to a place again where I just remember that there is a lot of peaceful positive and constructive thoughts and emotions that bring me happiness joy and motivation.
I am constantly in reconciliation I would say because I am having it and I AM ignoring it but it is still there and making me feel not good, most of the time I am feeling in two places at once, one part of me is feeling joyful and happy because it is executing some part of the script while some other part is distraught stressed feeling low and bad. Its difficult for people to connect with me and understand me in such states, it is a complicated chaotic mess. It was getting to much so I was needing a break. I donât want to be in such states ever again, it is not only overwhelming but profoundly destructive. Any thing you think and feel are realities and they create realities people who are sensitive will sense this and go crazy if you at some level have some anxiety sensitive people with get anxiety as well.
So im basically saying if I cannot find a way to manage this whole process where it is smooth, at ease and in my control so I can manage in advance when things become too much I will have to give this up. Since I care too much about my responsibility for others. A part of me donât care at all if I am feeling weird and bad for a few days to get a burst of growth but if it affects my environment and other people go through it with me I really do care. And even if I have to be honest I donât see any benefit in being disconnected and going through deep mental processes for several days to âgrowâ for me it is unstable growth. Next time I will do only 30 seconds when and if I feel to return to New Alchemist.
It it still happens with 30 seconds im not sure if I will return to it.
I totally agree but my brain and mind needs a break.
This is the same conclusion I came to again and again the momentum is important, daily and constant repetition is important but then the processing becomes too overwhelming and the disruptive side-effects to much for me to function properly and deal with.
I know how to energise my system in a variety of different ways. I also donât think there is anymore active processing since New Alchemist stopped processing almost over a week now and I donât notice anything like that processing anymore.
What I do notice is that if something happens to you in life (whatever the origin) and you are too busy and occupied to give yourself time to process that experience you just hold onto it somewhere, in the unconscious, until you give yourself the time and space to work through it. So I seem to have too much of this by constantly keeping my mind busy and occupied with too much processing and programming and never giving myself a break to process ANYTHING.
I am thinking now it would be good to work a lot of things out and then return to subs and see if it functions differently. It is not difficult for me to work things out. I do not need subs to heal myself to change myself. I need space and time to breathe relax let go and move on. Then as I have additional mental space and less burdens to deal with perhaps it will be easier for me.
These programs are very intense and on a high level I donât feel like it is fully supportive for people with a lot of baggage because it very quickly will hit upon your deepest issues and now you suddenly go through a lot of reconciliation and you donât have time to process other parts of the scripts or act on it because you are preoccupied with some other issues.
It can be a lot of there is a lot to work through and it goes very fast for me to a point where I canât really process the emotions and my nervous system gets stuck as I get overwhelmed,
Maybe only 30 seconds will happen and will try this in the future.
Definitely true and I think I had a nervous burn-out.
My perspective on these programs will and can definitely change as I change. Whatever I speak about is from my experience it will act completely different with another person but I can clearly see they are not so compatible with me right now for a variety of reasons. I would like to get less input for myself until I can actually take the bigger loads without getting overexposed. Because inevitability I always got into overexposure and it just causes more issues than not running subliminal programs at all even though I am so aware of the potential they can have on my life.
Jep, I agree and thanks for your input I appreciate you sharing your perspective with me there are a lot of points where we meet eye to eye.
I am also not afraid of seeing things different and opening my mind to different perspectives I know from experience everyone is living in a different subjective reality and may experience things different but our own personal truth should not be avoided or be disregarded as long as our perception of it is not false or an illusion.
There is an overarching truth in reality and then our subjective reality of how we individual experience that truth from our level of experience and growth. As long as our perception is accurate for us this is the truth, where as a false perception would be good to be corrected, with false perception I mean an inaccurate conception of what we are actually experiencing. Not as in the comparative experience of our differing realities. We may experience the same thing differently, but then again that thing is different in our experience as long as our perception of the experienced thing is accurate it is worth debating over otherwise it is just an illusion and not worthy of our time.
Just as how I think your idea that it is normal to have instrusive thoughts in life is a reality for everyone. I know people who have grown into a state of permanent peace and they do not even have these kind of states at all or far less frequent and not to the same intensity as we experience during reconciliation process. Plus to add to that I have observed and seen over the years how even my mind functions completely different and how my mental chemistry will change over the years through whatever transformations I go through.
I personally strongly feel if I run too high of a loop with my current system and whatnot it creates hyper mental activity. But I know for a fact if I let everything process and keep my meditation process and not do anything strange consciously as focus on bad things, like fears or overthink projects (as most people in the world will do consciously due to unawareness of the own direction of their conscious thought and focus) that I will not have this problem at all.
I feel and can see how the process of one of these programs acts within my mind and most of the time it will be overwhelming and adhd like giving me no calm or chill especially during bouts of intense reconciliation I will get a deep mental anxious where my synapses and neurology will get quickly exhausted, overwhelmed and depleted.
Now again as stated before this may be not the same for everyone and some may be perfectly able to have a chill mental state with no issues, for me I clearly see how my brain reacts and it is not the case. If I donât run any programs I donât have that.
So yeah this is a lot to tell you I just quickly wanted to respond and share my perspective on these things.
Obviously I just want to get rid of the bad reactions and have a smooth journey for myself here.
I donât feel like I have found how to make myself properly compatible with the programs but perhaps it will come in time and may be due to my own nervous exhaustion and burn-out but then I also saw others write about similar issues but I cannot for sure say our experience is to the same extend and intensity as the written word never fully encapsulates ones experience. We can easily make something out of it that it is not.
Just to finish this I wanna say I appreciate your input I saw in the other thread you had a bit of a brawl with someone when you tagged him but for me I am just searching for truth, looking to grow and learn and everyones opinion and perspective is worthwhile to me. Differing opinions can be there that is how we grow by seeing something we do not see at this moment and expanding our perspective while not focusing too much on our differences we are all looking for a good and happy life here filled with miracles and blessings!
Just today I had an experience of stepping into a reality that I was in a few years ago, which was quite traumatic and painful. I think it was just stored in my system and causing havoc. All I had to do is just feel it and let it go for good knowing that it is not doing me well and as quickly as this experience entered my body it gave me a lot of insight and just went completely away as if it is was never there a part of me.
This is far easier for me than trying to overthink every little thing that happened to me and having it surface in my conscious thought process as negative thoughts and emotions. Not saying this is what things work here but it seems like it does sometimes, for me at least. It is very demanding and keeps me confined to focusing on a lot of problems when not really having the space to live and work on my life.
Sometimes I feel like an intelligence inside of me is already strongly guiding me and I donât feel the need to open up my sexual problems now. This is my reaction to using Khan Black, I know what is important my inner intelligence guides me and I strongly distract myself with something I actually donât care dealing with right now so intensively. When I ran khan black st1 all that was on my mind for the next few days was all the sexual problems traumas fears and other things I went through since my childhood lol. I had no space to enjoy my time or do anything else and it just became a very strong reality.
Whatever healing program it is. I just need a break from it all and have a breather to enjoy life and feel a single positive emotions for several hours if not a whole day.
Sometimes I feel like my emotional and mental state can just change out of nowhere and go through chaos randomly because of reconciliation. I cannot share deep moments with people because they donât have so much going on as me and they would go through the day no thinking so much and just feeling whatever they are feeling in the moment. But as i go through subconscious processes all the time my state is constantly going to all kinds of places.
Really just venting a bit here. I was really tired and exhausted mentally but it is getting better now slowly. Just need more time rest and breaks.
Even I would feel a mix of different emotions and thoughts desires etc at the same time because different programs where becoming conscious in my mind from within the subconscious.
If it was more of a constant and less of an intense chaos and whip whop for me it would definitely be much easier.
This does not seem to be the case for everybody, for me I get disoriented and kind of lost in the chaos of it. I think kind of my natural state is just a peace and calm being one with myself without too much thinking and operation from intuition where I already tap into my unconscious whenever it is necessary I would share my true feelings and thoughts. If by any reason I would meet a girl and I am not fully whole sexually or romantically I feel she would be open to being a healer for me I would share my past and we would go through it together and it would get resolved, or if not I would approach it some different way and just move on let go build a new life and do whatever.
My point being is you can consciously create life any way you want, your imagination is the limit, it does not always have to be through a strict framework that can be limiting because everyone operates differently. You should use your own consciousness and intelligence to work things out in life however you see fit for yourself. Not everyone is on the same level of perception and inner understanding of life. We are all on a path of evolution within ourselves, some are more close to primates still and others looking towards the stars and want to live in peace and evolve among each other. I strong believe in reincarnation and believe in destiny, past lives and having garnered much wisdom and understanding that can be directly accessed through our own knowing and perception,
In the same way how people ingest an ancient plant with high consciousness and they suddenly go through a transformative experience because the intelligence within this plant can make them aware of things and see things that you ordinarily do not. See our own Soul and or intelligence also constructs and inner reality like that. If and when it evolves reality and creation and your experience of it starts to shift and change.
Scientist in the modern world more than enough know the reality we experience is a complete simulation of our own making. Consciousness creates reality.
Reality is not what it seems.
Reality can be whatever you make of it. Make it blissful for you and everyone around you. That is my goal and what I wish not only for myself but everyone around me.
The more people become conscious of this the better for the world!
Suffering is not necessary it is a human creation, a parasite that has taken hold of the entire world.
I donât want to suffer even a second any longer Iâm so done with it! Suffering does not have to mean growth or transformation for me it can more than surely happen through ease, peace, love, pleasure and just a continuous sense of enjoyment and satisfaction as you see yourself unfold in the individual you have always deeply within yourself desired to be. Perfecting ourselves into our Divine image. This the goal, and the journey should be nothing short of an absolute pleasure.
Enough said! I donât want to get lost in another painful reconciliation cycle that is all. My body cannot take it anymore and I just want to listen to the signs instead of trying to make it work and suffer the consequences of harsh overexposure.
I am going to be very careful with it now moving forward and first give myself more time and space to develop and work through things with my own intelligence and conscious.
I think the founder of this company also said somewhere else that I may already be on a path of accelerated evolution and he was totally right. My inner intelligence is already guiding me in a certain direction and I should not ignore that trying through work with certain programs and things which are clearly not working for me or meant for me.
There is a perfect pathway in reality out there for me for me to metamorphosize into something incredible.
I think this is one of the big reasons why I go numb or stop getting results and feel very down and like doing nothing, disconnected and without any flow is because somehow my inner intelligence is completely rejecting whatever reality creation a program is trying to attempt to create for me. For example like trying to unfold healing in my sexuality. When I am already on a Spiritual path and should listen to myself what is important for me right now to walk all the right steps to just arrive exactly where I am meant to be instead of focusing on something that may just be a sudden distraction.
Alchemist resonates way more with me. It also already enhances many of the things I spoke about here such as a deeper intuition and connection to the self or higher self!
So to iterate. Why all the pressures, unusual processing, feeling like I wake up tired.
I want to wake up singing in the morning but part of my mind is not cooperating. I donât think this is my mind AT ALL, I donât think it is much about reconciling unconscious and conscious but more like my conscious self and my higher and inner intelligence is trying to steer my in a different direction that some of the programs may be leading me to.
This is one thing. Alignment. Do I want the focus on the outcomes right now or not? If not then I will just reject and resist and it will be a difficult journey.
This also leads to a lack of processing. I donât want to deal with the topics put into my mind and reject it for now. If I keep pushing I just tire my mind out.
Intuitively I am feeling very strong right now. Usually when I think logically I get things wrong but when I speak from the heart I just channel the truth and it is spot on. Right now I am in such a state and hope to be able to once and for all figure everything out. I am just ready to thrive in life and live fully. Wake-up with a smile on my face and be happy knowing that this day will a day where everything just connects and flows for me. Where everything just works out perfectly as intended.
As I said before whatever is strongly established in the mind is BOUND to happen. the universe delivers exactly what you desire to create it never makes and error or mistake or the entire creation would collapse and the sun would stop setting in the evening and rising in the morning. It never happens. Everything works as it should.
You just have to discover the hidden key and open the locks to the doors of your desires. Things will manifest and happen as you think and dream of it.
I noticed this myself how my fears manifest in reality, but once I let go of the fears those realities will disappear and I have done this from a very young age how karmas where created in my social circles just because of fears. Fears will strongly manifest in life. Life responds to your true feelings. Life even responds to your anxiety so it best to stay far away from trouble like that and just a have smooth ride when transforming your inner world. Nothing has to be overwhelming,
The monks always say balance. They will lead their disciples to sweeping the floor for 12 years before they teaching anything because they want to develop sincerity and patience in them. This in itself is a huge lesson. Without sincerity to your goals you will never accomplish. You have to wake-up with the same desire every morning until it manifests. Many people, including myself never accomplish anything because first we donât know what we want and our desire is not real enough to make it happen. We change our direction too often. Desire draws to you whatever you wish to create but time is another factor and if you donât remain consistent within yourself it will never happen.
My understanding of the whole process is evolving, as the new recon tech helps significantly in monitoring and manging itâso, damn, Iâve been questioning and reshaping my previous understanding quite a lot lately. On top of that, I posted in your journal because I see a lot of similarities between the nature of your reconciliation and mine even though their conten canât be similar for the reasons you mentioned.
By intrusive thoughts, I didnât mean negative self-talk or destructive thoughts that bother you and canât be dismissed without effort, but rather random thoughts that donât uplift youâin fact, quite the opposite. In my case, they arise, settle, and pass within a couple of seconds. Theyâre more like single shots, not machine gun fire.
I canât argue with that either, since you didnât say anything here. Just know that Iâve been working with subliminal programs for over a decade, and SC trusted my observations and insights when testing Zero Pointâfor a reason.
Itâs great that you have your own ways of energizing your system. I just shared the most common onesâand coconut flakes, which I used for a long time in the past and found very effective.
Just keep in mind what youâve observed yourself: previous programs tend to kick in after prolonged periods of dormancy so Alchemist may be still getting processed in the background.
Thatâs a nice idea, mate.
The processing is much better, yet Iâve seen people experience spikes of acute recon while running micro loopsâwhereas they wouldnât get those spikes with full loops, but would instead go through prolonged processing and low-level recon. Youâll see how it goes for you.
A lot of chatter lol. I really felt like expressing myself for a little bit here. Its hard to find people sometimes who truly want to grow and my throat has been blocked for a long time keeping my feelings and thoughts within. Sometimes some creative expression can do wonders even on a forum like this.
Life should flow and when it gets constricted it can do a lot of harm to our system and build up a variety of pressures and tensions.
@Sub.Zero in a way I think you are sharing your anti-recon scripting with me by me tapping in your mind and somehow receiving it because I feel like I making massive breakthroughs here and my mind feels much lighter so I just want to express my thank youâs for that.
None of the programs I ran so far have it so I donât have access to it directly. But I have felt and noticed not only with myself but also with others how our minds share and exchange information through the field or how you can even tap into programs and for a sudden moment feel and experience exactly how it would be if you would run them. You are using your awareness to connect with a potential reality that is out there.
In a similar way I feel like I am tapping into anti-recon scripting from you which does not seem very farfetched because lets look at it concretely you have been consciously spending a lot of time working with it and trying to describe how beneficial it is so very possible you have integrated it well in your system.
So some of my friends are very spiritual and psychic and I also notice interesting things with them. Even on one such occasion he would start dreaming things related to reconciliation I would have with a program for what I believe to be lightening the load for me. He was sort of supporting me and taking on some of the load as he was taking it through his system and I felt much better when he was around. He sort of was an innate healer, probably born that way.
Human beings are truly miracles and they can have rare abilities that are not found in animals or any other living creatures. We do have an innate intelligence an awareness or a Soul which can do things. Especially in the spiritual communities you will find people likely this and more than often they are lovely people unlike the warmongers and crazy people you find sometimes in the cities unfortunately.
I like to spend time with nature and animals, we speak the same language. Sometimes people are just a drag. And as I said before I donât want to be a drag to others because I am overwhelming my mind and taking on too much. I want to have a graceful process that feels smooth and easy. I want to stick to positive feelings and emotions. Or at least when something negative does come up to have an ease and allowing it to process through my system in real time. If things build-up too much and I donât know what is what or what I feel I seem to get stuck.
Wow my whole mind just figured everything out today I think, this is anyway all coming from intuition as something in my subconscious may have made some sense of things!
@Sub.Zero bro I will catch up with you tomorrow I wrote a lot lol! But I have to catch sleep, time flied and I pulled an all-nighter. I also had a lot of breakthroughs with relationships around me as I had some close relationships which reflected the chaos I had in my own subliminal process and mind.
But it all unfolded magically today!
You seem to be very understanding and have a certain sense of wisdom. Perhaps all this can lead to mutual breakthroughs as I find it very pleasant interacting with you because you have a helpful nature and you seem to be kind minded!
Same experience for me actually. I have noticed a lot of similarities as well. Just right now a little bit tired to figure it all out. I wanted to constantly figure out of why and what but at the end of the day I just needed a break and let go for a bit which is what I am doing now!
It caused more confusion than necessary. The mind is not quite linear it seems and it does not always make logical sense in how it acts itself out.
@Sub.Zero Will read and answer to the rest of what you wrote tomorrow!
Haha crazy the sun came up, zero sleep and I feel more alive than I was in the last few months. Finally having some profound breakthroughs also noticing my creative intelligence is surfacing again which had been completely blocked off by confusion and âdarknessââŚ
I actually donât feel like sleeping at all and will be visiting some local spots just to relax deeper into this experience of unfolding Iâm having now.
Yesterday went the whole day without sleep, after not having slept the previous night and felt totally fine my body did not give me any cues that it had not slept and if anything was feeling more alive and energised than if I had slept.
Somehow whenever I come awake from sleeping, especially the longer I sleep my day feels like I drag. Something happens to my mind and the unconscious processes that things are just not quite feeling right.
I donât know what this is but I am tired of it and done with it.
My inner state will switch and I will feel numb, without much desire if any at all, and just in a state where I donât care about anything and nothing matters.
What the hell is this? Still on a washout though but could strongly perceive the programs inside of me. Also people around me are affected and the closer the relationship the more effect there seems to be. Other people start to get the same states and energy in them. This I have observed for a long time now. Not so much with everybody or random people you meet although this is also possible. Some are more susceptible than others for whatever reasons.
My perception, the way I look at the world, what I see and do not see, how things feel to me and how I chemically react to things are all part of my state of mind and this seems to switch far too regular for me to be able to say that I consistently strive for something.
In a dilemma right now, on the one hand I do not want to continue subliminal programs, on the other hand my life was improved a lot while using them. There is undeniable growth and change, tangible results that I clearly perceive in various departments of life and within myself. All of this makes it incredibly enticing to continue, even at times I feel a pull and draw to continue and move forward with the Journey.
However, something is off, something is wrong and I do not know what it is. I am unsure if it is subliminally induced or just a general part of my life right now. I wish I knew so that I can figure out how to move forward. Right now I just felt like it would be good to completely washout all programming and see how I feel and how my inner world behaves.
When using New Alchemist I had far more discipline, will power, desire to achieve Spiritually, my Spiritual life felt richer, I attracted interesting situations towards me that can advance me on my Spiritual path, I had more dedication and focus in my practices and got more out of them. A variety of very positive benefits. However whenever I run programs I start to feel like I am no longer myself, a different personality seems to surface and I am hard to understand sometimes because changes come in rapidly and it is difficult to adapt to themâthis one is the biggest downside for me as I am truly striving for balance within myself and my life, to become peaceful, grounded, calm, at ease and have a constant and consistent state of emotions and happiness. This cannot be possible for me if after a loop of something I end up disoriented and confused. I wish to avoid any such states at all costs but now recently have noticed even during the washouts, although far less frequently, and far less intensively, I still get hit with these bouts of confusion and mental reconciliation where for a moment I am just out of reality and am not sure who I even am or what anything means to me.
All this also without reaping the direct benefits that I get while running a subliminal. Consciously I am very aware of things happening within myself and am not in the slightest reactionary to circumstances within myself, I just observe what is going on but then at the same time have desire for more ease in my life, the ease is there but why I am still getting into these states where I just feel lost.
The spiritual life is without question a very difficult path but it is at the same time a very rewarding path, I know that and I am fully aware that it may take time wandering around in the dark seeing a bit of light here and there before finally landing at your destination and staying there.
I am not regretting any choices, this is meant for me, my thought process here is more about steering me in the right direction and resolving internal issues and imbalances as fast as I capable of doing. I have no desire to go slow at this point, I am fully dedicated to this. My mind and emotions are not scattered into 20 goals, this is my goal and nothing else. I should make fast progress and overcome these difficulties with ease since I am working hard to overcome them.
My question is why is this necessary for me? all this struggle should not be part of my life and I do not feel that I deserve any of it. At the end of the day, it is karma, whether of this life, or a past life, it has to be dealt with and transformed into a higher possibility.
I donât want to get lost in another painful reconciliation cycle that is all. My body cannot take it anymore and I just want to listen to the signs instead of trying to make it work and suffer the consequences of harsh overexposure.
