Age gap in serious relationship aka marriage

The Emperor's Lounge
#1

Hello everyone , I would like to know everyone opinion about that matter in great detail as possible , I will read long posts also so take your time

If a man is older by 12 years than the woman that she might be his wife .

Sencario 1) he is in mid 40 around 43 and she is 31

Scenario 2) he is in mid 30 around 33 and she is 20

Scenario 3) he started his 39 and she is around 27

It’s first time marriage for both , divorce is not an option .

Is this a hindrance , will they succeed , what proplem may arise in the future , can they have a bright future together .

I will tag a alot of people and as usual if I don’t tag you please share your opinions thanks in advance everybody :blue_heart::blue_heart::blue_heart::pray::pray:

You can also share subs stack ideas !!

@James @Malkuth @Fire @SaintSovereign @RVconsultant @DarkPhilosopher @AlexanderGraves @mountainguy @emperor_obewan @Alphamale

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#2

@Athanaxos @Apollo @Lion @Grasping_infinity @Beowulf @FireDragon @King

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#3

Hello, No it won’t be a hindrance at all, especially if you have subliminals in your arsenal.
The around 10 year gap is never a problem, in Islam they say it’s good to have a 10 year gap between man and woman.
But about the first point, when the man is in his 40s. You should be concerned about your sexuality and the whole stamina and everything.
So yeah, no problem.

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#4

I hope you do not mind since I was not tagged but I do not consider any option to be a problem.

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#5

For sure I don’t mind @Deadpool :blush: I am really thankful for sharing your opinion :pray::pray::pray:

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#6

Scenario 1
Should not be a problem. Both partners have acquired a certain maturity. As @Alphamale said there could be problem in sexuality when he gets older. But for that there are nowadays solutions in blue pills lol and subs of course. A child wish could provide here still for tension, since with the woman the time runs out. At least this could be a serious option for the woman and not for the man.

Scenario 2
I see this as critical, since she is still very young at 20. Here the interests can go very far apart. but does not necessarily have to be. Again, 12 years is not a death sentence. it always depends on the partner.

Scenario 3
Similar to Scenario 1, but without the pressure of wanting to have children.

In summary, I would consider 12 years to be uncomplicated in a relationship or marriage. There are much larger gaps and it also works out.

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#7

Just a real example from history. Zeus had offspring with mortal women and the gap between them was centuries if not more :slight_smile: .

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#8

This is a good thing. A man needs time to be mature, understand women, and have a certain level of wealth to start a family. He will also be less impulsive when he is older.

In my opinion, I wouldn’t go for this scenario. The older a woman is, the less feminine she is, the more difficult time she has getting pregnant and having an easy pregnancy. Also less likely to have the energy to raise children. Have heard that 80 to 90% of a women’s eggs are gone by the time she is 30 - 31.

There could be exceptions to this but I personally wouldn’t risk it.

This is ideal. The women and man are at their sexual attractiveness peaks. She is feminine and he is masculine (most probably)

The only disadvantage I see in this is that since the woman is very young in this scenario, she could later develop a feeling of missing out (FOMO) in her younger years when she grows older.

Depends on the woman of course but with loads of options in social media and dating apps, there is that risk to consider.

This is the most reasonable scenario. Both the man and woman are a bit more mature and things can most probably work. No FOMO nor medical issues for birth.

Ideally I would encourage looking for women who are 25 or 26 if you want 2 or 3 children. You will get more luck in this if her parents are still together and if her family is conservative/religious.

Run Heartsong and Lineage: Mandate Eternal. You will find the right girl for you to start a family with. It even says so on the LME sales page.

You might not have to worry as much about the age differences thanks to SC club.

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#9

This gets to the point for me.

Work on yourself. Work on your compassion. Maintain healthy boundaries.

The principles are easy to say, challenging to do.

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#10

FYI, official recommendation from Fire:

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#11

Ohh , interesting I never thought to have these two subs but I will go with them . Thanks for that :pray:

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#12

I’ll echo some of what I’ve seen already. None of these pose an insurmountable issue. Dedication to the relationship, from both sides, is all it takes to make any relationship viable. That said, big fan of heartsong and diamond for relationship work. If the sex is spectacular and meaningful most every other part of the relationship tends to fall into place. Sex is all about communicating after all.

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#13

Everything can work out of course.

The only problem I usually see with age gaps are social pressure and kids.

Social pressure as in the norms perhaps can be stressors on the people involved in the form of judgement perhaps. Not a problem if you can ignore it or aren’t surrounded by judgemental people or culture or if you perhaps don’t care. Some people really dislike age gaps, for good reasons in certain cases, but can also feel like pure unreasonable judgement or hate at other times. Close mindedness.

Second is that for some women (assuming) the time might be ticking for having own kids with age. But this is no problem if you both are in agreement about kids and you have planned a reasonable deadline for you both. Communication and expectations is the key.

This is just based on my experience of things that I’ve seen can cause problems. But the problems as you perhaps can see aren’t necessarily problems, depending on the individuals involved. Might just be something to openly talking about.

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#14

To be quite honest, when it comes to marriage I think anything around the 10 year mark is an ideal age gap that is conducive for a successful long term relationship.

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#15

Scenario 2 could be a problem. I dated a girl not so long ago who was 21 and I’m 27 and the difference in experience was huge. It really depends on how much he/she experienced in that 20 years. Especially when you have the wish to start a family.

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#16

Okay, I think the critical part which people may be missing is this.

This is a VERY big deal. I feel like the Scenarios and age gap here are a red herring. The real issue here is that divorce is not an option. So I’m not sure exactly why it’s not an option but not letting any party an out in case things go bad is a very bad idea. Imagine one of the parties is abusive and the other can’t initiate divorce to run away. This is a NIGHTMARE SCENARIO.

So my first suggestion is to NOT MARRY IN THE FIRST PLACE. Find a way to avoid this from happening at all costs. This is basically a forced contract binding them together. Even if they’re both happy with each other, the inability to leave will cause resentment.

This post lacks details. Is this a forced marriage? Is this an arranged marriage? Do the two parties have past history together before marriage? Again, I must stress that you have to seriously reconsider marriage if there is no leave option. :heart: Heartsong + :family_man_woman_girl_boy: Lineage: Mandate Eternal is indeed an amazing choice BUT it’s a band-aid to a problematic marriage.

You must have the choice to pick your spouse and you must have the choice to leave. This is practically speaking non-negotiable. Now, let’s say you can choose to divorce.

Scenario 1 - Male (Mid-40s) + Female (31)
I don’t see an issue. Both parties are (probably) mature adults. You are both at an age where settling down is a great idea to do at this point. Income levels are likely much higher than average compared to a younger couple so standards of living together is likely to be comfortable. If children is desired, then the married couple can raise them well. Only possible downside is that they’ll be quite old (60s to 70s) when they see their first grandchildren.

Scenario 2 - Male (Mid-30s/33) + Female (20)
Honestly this is the most problematic. She’s in her second or third year of college and the guy has been in the workforce for almost 10 years. The life experience between the two is vast and the human brain only really finishes maturing once they hit 25. If the girl marries during this time and has an accidental baby, she’ll lose the possibility of spending her 20s as a free woman. Frankly I’d say there’s no rush and would avoid marriage in this scenario.

Scenario 3 - Male (39) + Female (27)
If you had a time travelling machine or you can plan really far ahead, I’d prefer this Scenario the most. The man is getting into his stride and he’s definitely finished maturing at this point. His income has begun to hit a pretty high level. If he retires around the age of 55 or 60, he can relax as his kids are likely in the workforce at this point.

The woman is nearing the end of her 20s, has enjoyed her youth and if she’s looking to get married at this point it’s unlikely she’ll regret it or have FOMO. Let’s say it’s an unhappy marriage 5 years in, she’ll be 32 when she leaves it and she has plenty of time to get married again to have children with another man if that’s what she wants. If she doesn’t want to get married and have kids post-divorce she can enjoy her single life at this point too - she’s still young and active.

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#17

This related to certain religious views! There is divorce in rare cases for two reasons only

  1. if the male have sexual dysfunction - that didn’t appear in the health check up before marriage
  2. or one of the partners cheated on the other one .
  • not forced marriage in any shape or form
  • the two parties accepting and wanting to continue together - no force
  • Yea they have a past history before marriage

Thanks for your detailed answer!

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#18

My take is it that it shouldn’t be a problem as long as your personalities gel well with each other and you genuinely like each others company.

If you’re attracted to each other, like each other’s personalities, values and point of view then it’s going to be a great relationship.

You’re both adults, age shouldn’t be an issue regardless of the gap if you truly gel well.

Some advice I could give as a fellow man is to always have a goal or mission in life that you’re working towards to, regardless of the relationship.

I keep that separate, and take efforts to keep yourself attractive. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

You’ll feel better in every way, and be more secured within yourself, regardless if you’re in a relationship or not, and that security and confidence usually translates well in the relationship.

I won’t suggest a particular title because the results could vary depending on your personality specially on ZP, but I could share my experience with titles I ran while in a relationship:

I like Khan, but I don’t wish to feel very sexual or exude sexuality all the time at this current stage in my life; but I do like to be or at least feel very attractive all the time, so I ran Primal for the inner game and levity without issues.

IOI’s are there but that can always be ignored.

I didn’t have issues while on Wanted. I run Wanted mainly for the physical/aesthetic benefits and some inner game.

A good alpha sub that has focus on both, wealth and relationships is HoM. This was my favorite in Qv2, and one that I should run again soon.

Chosen, for positivity, leadership, courage, empathy, confidence and being good natured. My current favorite in ZP.

Among the ones I tried, I’d lean towards Chosen and HoM as the safer bets in a new relationship. Again we’re always in control of our actions.

There are other subs specifically for relationships like Heartsong or Diamond, Sexual Mastery, for sexual enjoyment, but either I haven’t tried them yet or used them extensively to give an informed opinion.

If this is you, I don’t think you should have any worries. The fact that you’re here and you have these subs to assist you, you’re going to do great.

I hope this helps and congrats on the relationship.

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#19

i don’t plan to ever get married l ol

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#20

If there is a union of positivity/love/respect/admiration/enjoyment/value/etc etc

There will never be a problem.

If your just 2 individuals sharing time together and feeling alone,feels like work,buissnes,cold,needy,dependent etc etc.

Then i see a fundamental problem in any relationship

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