I pray that subclub comes out with a sub that directly helps you with healing your health issues Raphael. 
I’ll be waiting for the day when it happens on here and you journal about it
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I always appreciate it when you say that, bro. I will be tagging you first WHEN it happens and I can see even an iota of difference in my health. Thank you and hope to see your own journey of purpose and freedom. Am always rooting for you especially since we have the same challenges before us
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@Grimm1390 to help fight a light depression I always advice to listen to Sanguine first (of course there could be a need of medical care first). It will help go back to your positive, optimistic self. Ultima version 2 of Sanguine is really powerful.
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Thank you brother for your response. I’ve tried sanguine a few times but didn’t notice much. The sanguine in primal I felt it a lot though. How many loops would you recommend ? how do you like the ultima 2 version of sanguine ?
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Wow that helicopter parent post was it from last year or 2019 ? as for Emperor It does seem to deal with a lot of the issues we are dealing with. Will be following your journal to see how your emperor and custom journal unfolds
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People often love to say, “Out of all of the animal kingdom, it’s only we human beings who experience depression, angst, and ennui.”
But that’s actually not true.
Other animals do experience depression.
Do you know when?
When they’re locked up in cages.
That safe life. Being fed 2 or 3 times a day. With little to no challenge.
They lose purpose.
Are you safe? Are you bored?
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My healing journey got me through Alchemist, Regeneration, Khan Stage 1, Dragon Reborn Stage 1-3 and now Khan Stage 1 again.
I am not confident if I can recommend DR Stage 1 as a healing sub to start with because things could get worse first.
Sanguine is excellent if you have a little shift in mood. But when I was deeply depressed it didn’t do much for me sometimes (QV1).
If I started today, I would start with Alchemist Stage 1, as it has superb functionality to remove energetic blockages. (can only speak of the version before QV1). Also it is about finding a path.
The Pathfinder is the stage where you will dive deep into your spiritual purpose. It is the first step of many, where you will fully open your mind to the possibilities of the universe and start your journey.
The Pathfinder will help you with finding your spiritual purpose, the discipline that meshes the best with your spiritual predisposition as well as push you to re-evaluate your inner philosophy and refine it.
Alongside your discipline you will meet people and find yourself in situations that will help push you further on your spiritual path. It will remove all negative spiritual energy and instead surround you with energy that attracts positives in all areas of your life.
Finally, the Pathfinder is a powerful spiritual purificator, designed to purge your energetic structure from everything holding you back. You will also see improvements in your daily life and not just in your spiritual practices, since cleaning your energetic channels will also purify your negative thoughts and beliefs.
Maybe with Elixir ultima V2 for healing purposes as a booster.
In the end I hope you find the right subliminal that speaks most to you.
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Man are you spot on. Regarding the locked in a cage part I feel I’m in a sort of prison in some aspects. I mentioned this a long time ago on a post called helicopter parents. But basically I can’t leave my family. To make a long story short I live with family and can’t abandon them. It’s a culture thing. They are old and sickly. My parents even bought 4 graves recently because they know they won’t be here forever. They bought 4 so that includes my older sister.
I have put my self to the side, my masculinity to the side so I can help them.
It depresses me I am where I am in life and haven’t achieved much, had success in my purpose and haven’t had the dating and sex life I always wanted.
I don’t want to throw a pity party but living at home I can’t be a man, I can’t be myself. I have always felt my masculinity is locked away because I live at home.
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I use Sanguine Ultima version 2 one or two loops a day and I mix it with Love Bomb Ultima for one loop a day. I feel empowered, powerful, optimistic, it is a great combo in the time of Covid
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Wow you are like the 4th person on here that mentioned DR is tough. In regards To the pathfinder It sounds quite similar to stark. Stark helps you find your purpose and mission in life.
If you have a journal I’m going to definitely check up on it and see how your journey went
You got it.
It’s nothing about Purpose in any grandiose sense. It’s the sense of being trapped.
Purpose comes naturally through approaching the edges of our comfort zones. It’s not an intellectual insight.
Sometimes though, we can’t fucking move. The obligations. The commitments. The lack of freaking vision. It’s too much. There’s no visible road.
Oh, there’s a road. It’s just not visible.
Don’t. Be. Fooled.
You gotta get guerrilla with this stuff. When you can’t win the whole war, you’ve got to get guerrilla.
I don’t know how you’re going to do it. But you need to find those places to feel a little closer to your edge and who you are. It’s not something to ‘figure out’. It’s something to do.
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This is why above I said I don’t care about life anymore. I don’t care if I die I’m at peace with it cause I know this is my life. I have to take care of my parents and help them and continue to put my desires, wants, self on hold for them.
Thanks for your words hopefully emperor can help me break out of this mindset or view I have on my life.
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You don’t. You need to figure out a way to do a bit of both.
I know that sounds impossible. Because if it sounded possible, you’d already be doing it.
But what needs to happen is you need to learn how to transcend. And this is said in love and in solidarity. Because I’ve been in similar situations and have been working on the same thing.
Don’t settle for easy answers just because you’re freaking exhausted.
Well. That’s one man’s opinion.
Clearly you haven’t given up. You’re here. But I get that you can’t see a way.
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I definitely need to find ways where I can express myself, express my masculinity and feel at peace with myself while also being here for my parents even if I have to live with them. That’s something I’m going to have to figure out.
You have given me a lot to think about tonight.
How were you able to do it ?
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Maybe you need some kind of outbreak. When I was caged (living with a mother, no possibility to move out, strong limiting influence of the mother on my possibilities) at one point of my life I got a psychosis and was initiated into a spiritual lifestyle. I wouldn’t recommend this way and don’t know how to push it, although for me, it worked.
You wrote that it is a cultural thing. A dogma. Some concept that traps. And that you don’t care if you die. Is there some kind of loophole you could find in the dogma? Perhaps breaking free is better than leaving this planet early. Just a thought.
Acting out could help to explain why you need therapy. And why you need to leave your parents.
The journey just begins. I am excited. Sorry, if this is not helpful, I will shut up now and will see what’s happening next.
–
I have a few journals here. Don’t know if reading them will help in any way.
The main one is this (very mixed up as I was switching a lot):
https://www.subliminalresults.com/t/matts-subliminal-journey-currently-khan/
Then there was one for Dragon Reborn:
https://www.subliminalresults.com/t/dragon-reborn-journal/
The one for Alchemist is hidden, so I can only quote some results after 28 days.
Day 28 - Journal of Alchemy
Day 28
The first 30 days of stage 1 are almost over. Time to look at the progress so far.
- I became active in changing many habits. Adding the good habits like a continous sleeping pattern. This pattern is very important to me, because when I sleep too much, I am depressed an tired.
- I changed my diet to a more brain focused one. This can also help with my mental health issues. I want to do this for 60 days and see how I feel after that.
Dieting was always a sign for me that I am able to discipline myself. - I installed a daily Writing habit, which helps me to clear my thoughts and might be helpful in the future to do my work as an author.
I refound a childhood dream of mine - drawing cartoon images. During a journey through an old hard drive I found some images from 2005 I drawed. And yesterday I drawed a new one with similar quality. - I am also practicing magic daily now to help me with the proccess of becoming the Alchemist. First I began with the Ritual of Transformation from “Mystical words of powers”, now after I had an important dream, I switched to the Ritual of Love from the same book. It’s to early to say what this Ritual will bring to my life. It is written that it helps with opening the heart, feeling more love in life - even from the universe itself. And having compassion or empathy for the people around you. It also should help with relationships. And past hurtings of the heart can be removed. I want to do this ritual for at least 7 days or until I get the inspiration to start another one. “Mystical words of power” is my favorite book by the Gallery of Magic. I made large progress with the main rituals of the books last year. I like the simplicity of the rituals - you can do them in 5 minutes, after you have learned them.
The Dream I had on January 27 seems to be an important one to me. It inspired me to choose a spiritual path. My path was unclear before. I dabbled in non duality teachings, magic and a lot of other spiritual topics. This dream made it clear to me, that my path is one of love. When I exchanged words with a friend of mine about it, she talked about her spiritual path. Which is buddhism. In buddhism they don’t work with the word love, because it has so many meanings that it has become a bubble word. In buddhism they talk about compassion and loving kindness.
So I thought about that and decided that a path of compassion and loving kindness it should be for me. I had glimpses of people who seem to have charisma, but in truth they are just loving kind and compassionate towards people. These people I treasured a lot. They were a pointer to my own heart.
The sufis work a lot with the heart, I once met one and he suggested that you need a pure heart. Also in energy cultivation - especially sexual energy cultivation - the cultivated energy does amplify your emotions. So if there is hate in your heart, you will amplify the hate. But if there is love or compassion in your heart, you will amplify that.
So this is it.
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I also have an Asian background and have similar problems as you. I don’t have a solution for you right now as I’m still experimenting with my custom subliminals using a different approach that I deem more suitable for myself.
However, I have some questions for you.
What is your definition of being a man?
What is your definition of an alpha male?
Do you really have to live away from your family home to be considered a man?
Or could taking care of your old and sickly elders be also considered a sign of manhood?
I think there are no right or wrong answers to this depending on our circumstances, but sometimes it is worth having a thought about how we define ourselves.
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Still doing it.
Increase your tolerance for contradiction.
The desperate do not have the luxury of easy generalizations and neat preconceptions.
What if I can be a winner and a loser at the same f**king time? What if those words don’t mean shit?
What if I, no matter what, am on my own side?
What if my own birthday is a Holy Day?
How many days have you been alive so far?
https://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html
yes, i sat with that too. tried to face this fucking pure gold that is my existence. It can be shaped like anything. Gold bars. Gold pieces of shit. Gold dysfunctional relationships.
Guess what? I might not like the shapes, but it’s still gold.
Felt like shit. That was one of the ways “I was able to do it”. hahaha. I call it the ‘Feel like shit’ Method. For some reason, I haven’t been able to popularize it.
But, it keeps going. And your mind adjusts. You thought it wouldn’t be able to and it still does.
Sorry. I’m in my passionate bag.
People create bonds of meaning. We’re basically jumped up chimpanzees who are good at saying ‘This equals That’. We basically make it up. And then pretend it’s true.
You’re making this much money. That means you’re a winner.
That guy punched you in the face on Tuesday? That means you’re a winner.
That same guy punched you in the face on Wednesday? Oh, now that means you’re a loser.
It’s stuff we make up, man. People who are comfortable enough have the luxury of believing all these stories are true.
If you get desperate enough, you learn to realize that it’s made up. And then you work on trying to make it up in another way that works better for you…Until it doesn’t. And then you work with it again.
Over the course of doing this 95 times, you gradually start to get in touch with something that’s under the specific circumstances… It’s awesome.
And then…
Life still sucks sometimes.
What did you want? It’s freaking Earth.
But now, you are in the game. (like you already were in the first place.)
anyway, that’s my bullshit. What we’re interested in here is your bullshit.
So have at it. What do you think?
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What led you to the spiritual lifestyle? I know it could have just been easier to give up and accept your lot in life. Everything you said is very helpful it’s given me some things to think about as I fall asleep.
I’ll catch up and respond to everyone later on in the day. Gonna get some sleep now. All of you have given Me a lot to think about. It’s comforting knowing you guys have your own battles to especially similar ones
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Yes, accepting my lot in life was possible as soon as I knew what it was. I don’t know it fully yet, but I am grounded in my life. But I can see that your current lot in life could also be acceptable. It’s the thoughts/the judgments that make it negative. I have a good relationship to my mother nowadays, but it took a lot of work to see each other as grown-ups. I enjoy her company as with a friend which really loves me forever. She isn’t evil, just a human being with her troublesome upbringing. She was very protective, loving in a bad way when I was still a child, so I had to push through to let her see me more as a human being than as a child.
The spiritual path really started as a sufi teacher (oriental mystic) met me and showed me a male role model full of love. He had a great sense of humor and so did I. Our ways parted soon, but it was enough input for the upcoming decades. A sufi is free and this freedom fills you up when one meets you, and you can recognize him. He knew what I was thinking and always said what I needed to hear the most. I am not initiated into sufism myself, but I enjoy the presence of many people with a pure heart.
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Sorry to hear this man. There are many other members here that are far more knowledgeable, but if there’s one sub that came into mind when I read your post, like Raphael and the others, it’s Emperor.
I was not in a good spot when I started and EQ set me straight. Never give up, you deserve the best in life. We all do, brother.
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