ive been exhausted. im laying in bed most of the time. my appetite is low. ive been lazy and indulging in all my vices. i tried eating for energy and going for a walk but im still tired and weak. normally i would feel miserable about this but im fine. DR has really transformed me. i should be having a terrible time rn but im fine. this is why DR is so great. i should feel like shit but im not. that was impossible 6 months ago. i cant imagine how much deeper the healing would be with another 6 months. it makes it hard to let go of DR when i realize how much it took from me.
if i stay on DR i dont think i could really change the way i want. im not saying its not strong. it just works in a deep indirect way that sets foundation for change. like building a launching pad but not actually launching yourself. its just continual upgrading of foundations. building things but its under maintenance. im getting restless with being under maintenance. im considering using DRLD as a stage 5 for my DR journey. idk how close they are but DRLD seemsā¦
but theres about 5-6 different titles i want to run. im trying to rule things out but i keep going down to 4 titles. or something too dense like 3 multi-stages KBST1 + EoGST1+ KhanST1.
im at a catch 22. i have multiple goals that are all needed in order to reach the destination i am looking for. not one stack seems to make sense. im contemplating and figuring out wat i need to focus on. every stack neglects something. im going to journal offline some more on this.
so far im thinking something along the lines of
KB + EOG + DD-custom
DD custom
- DD core
- True Sell module not core
- Deep Sleep
- Dragon Tongue
- Emperorās Voice
- Voice Master
- Whispered Power
- Gentlemanās Speech
- Subconscious Flow
- Submodel Alpha
my perspective has changed a lot. i was rushed to get wat i want and relying on subs too much to think i could do it without my stacks to focus on it. really i need to increase my capacity to manifest wat i want. the subconscious is so powerful regardless of if u listen to subs or not. subs are a tool to utilize the subconscious. but using it urself is a skill that is much more valuable. if i want to be rich i could listen to wealth titles or manifest it myself no wealth title. i could use titles to improve my manifestation ability and get rich using it. this method leaves me with an addition skill that can be used in every single aspect of life. manifestation is key in creating any dream or desire in ur life a reality.
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ended up braking my washout by listening to 2 new subs. T$ and DD
things are going well. im having more enjoyable conversations with ppl. im loosening up in a way i never have and my memory has improved too. i remember a lot more and i feel more balanced. i am keeping everything at 3 min rn. im not trying to get recon and i am focusing on executing the script. i was relying on the subs to work for me especially DR but i didnt know how to take action. now im listening to subs that are aligned with my actions.
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its been a while since my last post here. i am working a lot on inner stuff. i keep getting a feeling of being stuck but i know i really am not. ive always been impatience to have the life that i wish to have. i see things i need to work on to get there and im working on them. i just have to be patient.
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i was hoping to get more out of the subliminals by now but i really didnt know how to use them nor knew what i needed. long term really is taking them seriously short term is not so much. i have to really know myself and where im going to pick the right subs. then ill know i will stick with them. i have too many subs that i want to run long term to fit in just a year or 2. itll take me years. and i got focus on foundation. foundation could take years but after i can take myself anywhere i want.
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I havenāt had much recon for a couple months related to changing my stack. but now, Iām really thinking a lot about what to do next and when. I got to stick to my stack for at least a few more cycles before I change one of the subs. Iām listening to 2 subs that I plan to run long term so they canāt be exchanged. Iāll just put these subs that I want to switch to on the to do list and hope in time it will get sorted out before switching.
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Im excited about the new updates. as soon as the titles that im running are updated im replacing them with the new ones. but i do have a custom so that cant be updated without a price. it really cool how SubClub always upgrades the titles so they dont get outdated and you know ur getting the best
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debating to do another 3 to 9 months of my stack. thats 6-12 months on the stack. i know im not going less than 3.
im learning more about where my recon habits of rushing and overthinking my stack is coming from. im working on it now that im aware of it. it seems to be too deeply programmed in me to simply get out of it. ive always avoided it indirectly cus it seemed too complex to solve. so this may take some time.
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i didnt realize how peaceful my life is. looking back when i started listening to subs i was in a totally different space. its kinda shocking and weird that i donāt realize it until i looked at the calendar and saw it was such a sort time ago and remembering how i felt then and now is so different.
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theres things i wish i could get from the subs that havent happened yet. i focus on getting that but forget what ive gotten. wheres the gratitude. the answer that comes to mind is that if i want to be grateful and more aware of the changes id have to purposefully acknowledge the changes regularly instead of just moving on to the next thing. i might acknowledge the change once and then move on but that is usually it other than using acknowledging it as an approach to fight recon.
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idk if this is good or bad but skipped listening on my listening day yesterday and have extended the rest days. i kinda dont want to even listen today as well. idk if its recon pushing me to avoid moving forward or my intuition telling me i need a break.
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ive been thinking i dont really want to run wealth titles. even tho i want to make money its mostly driven by fear not genuine desire. i care more about my mental and physical health and even spiritual. i procrastinate and delay focusing on money cus deep down its not a priority. id rather struggle a little financially than be rich rn. i dont like how that sounds but its the truth. after focusing on my other priorities i see myself doing a long wealth journey with EoG but only after.
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its good that i am delaying EoG cus if i start now i probably wont get as much out of it. if i have more brain power from QL and possibly ME as well, discipline and more energy/physical fitness from spartan, social skills and good appearance from Wanted and DD/T$, manifestation and sexual transmutation from KB. i would really hit the ground running once i start EoG or any alpha wealth sub.
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i still feel like skipping listening again. i wonder if i need a washout. now that i think about it, i havent had a long washout for 6 months and even then it was only a couple weeks.
i normally feel a need to push myself to keep going but i dont have the feeling rn. i just want to feel at peace and be relaxed. i dont even really want to talk at all today. i want to take things slow. go for a walk, simple exercise today.
i woke up today just sat at my desk doing nothing in silence except a little quick prayer. it was exactly wat i wanted to do. i was chilling there for maybe 10-15 minutes peacefully and i might do some more of that today
ive been reflecting a lot today. i have to accept that i will have to face some stuff i always wanted to avoid in order to execute the script. its overwhelming looking at the big picture and wat i have to deal with. its all in my head tho, nothing really real. but there are decisions i have to make that i dont like but its either deal with it now or deal with the consequences later. the later consequences are 1000x worse than dealing with it now