ABC333 Khan Black

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Day 8: No listening.

I’m kind of surprised that it’s day 8 already. In the past sometimes it seemed like 8 days was a long time in a cycle.

Had some more pangs of wishing I had some legit friends, like genuine connections. Driving around I feel like I am just going through more healing. But at the same time, I do noticed that we just vibe with some people and don’t vibe with others, so it may not be a matter of more healing. Just focusing on the right people, opportunities etc.

It was also good to see in another thread, khan I think, that some people find that they seem to repel women. It came with the insight that it may very well be because the women are in committed relationships and they’d like to protect those situations. Thus leading to their reactions of trying to avoid you because you’re a sexual threat, just in a way that the best way to deal with that kind of aura/temptation is to just completely avoid it.

I was listening to a short audio book Let It Go: Manifest What You Really Want by Giving Up and Allowing. It actually had some good insights, nothing I hadn’t heard before but in such a simple way that I’d recommend the book to others. One of the things that stuck out from my first listen was when he was talking about how people may laugh at you for thinking you could live other than them. That idea that people maybe don’t want to succeed they want to see you fail. In line with that crab bucket effect. Like say you’re a happy person and they’ll do their best to poke and prod to get you upset and if they succeed they’ll laugh and take pleasure in it. I’ve been through that. So now if I get around shitty individuals I will walk and it’s not gonna take me years, months or weeks, even days. I used to put up with the abuse thinking they’d realize that there’s no problem at least from my end. The author didn’t mention it but this kind of goes in line with the idea that we’ve probably all seen- they tell you not to share your goals with anyone. Well for me if I’m happy and I’m not showing it off, I’m literally just being and somebody makes that a problem, I will leave, I don’t have to stay and wait for anybody else to change. I’ll just keep moving until I find my place or people, I’m kind of in one of those phases now. It always works out somehow for me and I don’t need to force myself to stay where I’m not welcome or wanted.

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Day 9: 15 mins of new Primal.

While listening to new Primal I got a mood boost.

Now awhile later my mind is having it’s annoyances. Kind of being kinda cranky/moody. I’m not saying I’m moody because of my Primal loop. Also a little tired maybe didn’t have quality sleep last night.

Today I was driving around in the city for a change of pace. Normally I head out of town away from the people. I do seem to get a little inspiration or at least into the feeling of possibility in terms of what is out there or maybe what I could do for a living, when I drive around in the city sometimes. But I think that’s because of the freedom and I’m just driving without any destination or any schedule I have to be on.

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Day 10: No listening.

Still seem to be going through some light healing at times. Slight bit of playing with ideas of what title I might do next. Kind of intrigued by the new Limitless. I would be able to learn and most importantly apply whatever I learn. Whether that’s starting a new job and/or coming up with a way for me to be self employed and make money without a job.

I’m still thinking I will stick to LB and Primal for at least 6 cycles before I’d switch them out. I’ve got 3 more cycles before I consider my first round of KB is complete. Then I’m kind of planning to take 30 days off to experience that extended washout. The longest washout I’ve taken has only been 14 days I think.

Workout update: I decided to go to a 25 lb kettlebell for my 10 sets of 10 swings. I decided to drop the ego and build from the ground up. I tried the 35 lb kettlebell and my back wasn’t happy. So I went to a lower weight to focus on conditioning and drill that proper form. Well first few times went fine. I’ve been learning the movement and having to tweak some things to keep myself injury free. Well the last two days I was wondering why my intercostal muscles were sore. Then I flexed my core to brace like I would for a kettlebell swing, yep! That’s it. The muscles will just need some time to get conditioned. Then I’ll switch to alternating wings. Then I’ll switch to one arm swings. Once I can do that for 10 sets of 10 then I’ll move on to the 35 lb kettlebell. I think this is really going to help me drop some fat and tighten up my physique and conditioning. When I first ever started doing swings I was able to move up to like 80 pounds right away, but I hadn’t drilled that technique and conditioning so I had back problems. That’s why I’m happy to start slow and go light and just perfect the form.

Afternoon Update:

Had to make a walmart run. Definitely picking up some attention even if I’m not looking at people. I’m scanning for the items I want to purchase. People will look at me as if I’m looking at them. I also noticed a few women who I think were interested in me. They never looked directly at me but I could just tell they were watching me without watching me. Like it’s almost like an energy or feeling I’d say. Then I saw one guy at the checkout he wasn’t interested in checking out, though I guess he was ringing up his items. No hurry at all but he was people watching. He was watching me a good portion of the time while I was self checking out. I got there after him and he was still there after I left. Kind of gave me an idea maybe I could people watch, but at the same time I’m getting lots of eyes on me even if I’m not focusing on all the people. But feeling more okay being around people I’d say. And I can really tell the ones watching me, like the parents who have kids and they’ll be corner eyeing you thinking you don’t know they’re watching you like a hawk. I just ignore that, they don’t know me, and just being overprotective at least with me.

Evening update:

Feeling close to tears now. I don’t know for maybe a half hour or so. I don’t have any conscious memories or events. So I’ll chalk it up to old energy/emotion being processed. As I’ve said before this is a rare occurrence for me, maybe every 1 or 2 months. I don’t remember the last time tears actually came, might be a few years.

So that means there’s a good chance of feeling on top of the world and/or being in the flow coming up again.

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Day 11: 3 mins KB 3, 3 mins new LB.

Last night I was sitting outside and it’s like more of the Primal came online for me. I noticed in my demeanor and body language and I was feeling kind of sexy and still at ease and relaxed. So I guess that was my bounce back from feeling low earlier in the day.

Workout update: Came up with a new plan. I’ll do the 10 x10 kb swings once a week. Instead of just taking days off, I’ll go back to doing 1 set of kb swings daily with the 35lb weight. It’ll help move the blood flow and speed up recovery and give me that daily time to master the technique while I build slowly up to 10x10 1 arm swings with the 35lb kettlebell.

Evening update: Again I’m feeling a little low at times today. Going through some more of that healing.

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DaY 12: No listening.

Again I’m feeling a little low at times. Today I’d say I’m even feeling cranky. I’m not enjoying that relaxed sense of optimism and sense of being at ease like I was starting to enjoy. So I’ll see if I can channel this recon into a good workout today. I’ve had 3 or 4 days of no work out.

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Day 13: 15 mins KB 3, 3 mins new LB.

Feeling much lighter today. I spent hours yesterday doing conscious releasing or letting go. Today so far much lighter but I can tell I’m not 100% free of these insecurities or whatever. Just part of the process. Nothing that’s gonna hold me back.

Sometimes I was thinking this again is just deeper level into some Heartsong territory. But I would still not switch out any title for Heartsong yet. That’s still a difficult choice. Would I switch out Love Bomb for Heartsong or would I drop new Primal and tag team new LB and HS. I plan on 6 cycles with LB and Primal but depending on how things go I could see myself testing out HS after 4 cycles of LB maybe.

The nice thing about my deep healing has me going back to the process of just feeling good. The good feelings are already there it’s just a matter of placing attention on them. If you want a name for it the book I learned it from is called Eufeeling. So I’ll need to just keep doing more of that.

I’m also in limbo with working out and rest. I feel like I could use a week off and I’m almost there. But at the same time I know working out helps with feeling good. I’ve found that the technique of just doing the first five minutes, without putting pressure on yourself, is enough to get you to do the whole workout. Say I’ll do the first five minutes and after that if I really don’t want to do anymore I don’t have to.

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Day 14: No listening.

I was feeling good until I had to go run some errands today. I guess part of me didn’t want to be disturbed with such things. I decided that I’ll take a week of rest before I pick up the workout routine again. I wasn’t getting many days off the past year and never two consecutive unless it lined up for a holiday. I seem to be more drawn to doing my inner work again while some feelings were coming up.

Evening update: Yea it’s definitely recon. But not a bad thing. Just the changeover process from the old to the new. No problems, thinks are going well. Just a matter of that ego mind quieting down so we can enjoy the good stuff.

I just now felt like some of that adventure side was coming out but at the same time not knowing what to do. Wishing I had friends to call like when I was younger and you could just call your friends and hang out maybe go on an adventure.

End of night update: Healing hitting pretty good again now. Laying the ground flat to build the runway on I suppose.

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Day 15 3 mins of KB 3. 3 mins of new LB.

I went for a drive and listened out in nature. I had a pretty good relaxed drive. Everything is green and it just felt nice and good to be out driving. Then I drove through the city a bit and felt comfortable being around people.

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Day 16: No listening.

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Day 17: 15 mins KB 3, 3 mins new LB.

I was going through some of that healing again today. It didn’t last as long as previously. I see it as an opportunity to release it and be free of it. I was doing sedona method on it. But it’s also helped me to practice without doing the process.

I just practice mindfulness. I notice my feelings and/or the mind getting wound up. I immediately see it and check if I’m wanting to change it and just like that it releases and I’m back to resistance free awareness/presence. That’s something I guess I held on to, doing the process but they told you that at some point you’d just see it and release. And I never got there because I was attached to doing the process. But since I’ve been going through stuff, recon I’ve been practicing that in action. It’s just a matter of continuing it so it just becomes second nature.

Evening update: I don’t really put any effort into my appearance. I still get surprised sometimes when women check me out and they show signs of interest or attraction. I’ve been working on self love again. I let go of disapproving of myself and then I let myself love myself as much as I do. That’s definitely getting me back in touch with good feelings so I’ll touch on that angle daily again. It seems like I’m ready to take it to a new level with it. It’s like revisiting a good book later, more insights await as you grow and can see anew.

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Day 18: No listening.

Still squeezing out the weaksauce. Also haven’t gotten a work out in in over a week now. I have been letting go a lot though and so I’m sure things will start clicking anytime.

End of night update: I think I got rid of some supressed stuff. That’s been the feelings coming up. Today at one point and might’ve been yesterday, I had the sensation that tears were going to come, just without those sad feelings. So I think I got rid of the suprression and so I was getting into some natural expression of those feelings. Say I probably should have cried at one time but I pushed it all down so that didn’t make it go away, it was just pushed down and the healthy thing would have been to just express it and be done with it. But that’s not how many of are trained. Instead of healthy expression of emotions we are trained to not express because it might bother somebody else, who has consequently been trained to supress their feelings too, but you have to hide yours too so they don’t have to feel theirs because it’s all your fault and you’re making them feel what they don’t like! lol.

So my plan is to stick to the same routine. Keep new LB at 3 mins since I did hit some rough spots. I’ll switch to KB 4 finally. I’ll keep new Primal at 1x a week at 15 mins. That seems to be working well, I’m also excited about moving Primal into the driver’s seat. I’d move KB 4 to the 1x weekly at 15 mins spot. and run new LB and Primal as my main drivers.

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Day 19: 3 mins KB 3, 15 mins new LB

I like to get one 15 min loop of new LB in before my cycle ends just for good measure. My last listening day in 2 days is 15 mins of new Primal.

End of night update: I’ve kind of been thinking I’d like more healing with maybe Phoenix. But since this cycle was kind of rough at times I plan to just stick with it and keep new LB listening time the exact same. I’ll stick to 3 mins of it next cycle. I kind of want to move new Primal into a more front slot but I’ll finish out the first 2 cycles of KB 4 the same as the previous 3. I’ll keep KB4 the main focus title.

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Day 20: No listening.

I did my workout first thing today. It was like nothing. I got in all the inner work I wanted. And now I’m again feeling some of those sad type feelings.

I am feeling good about my workouts, I’ll just do it first thing in the day and then I can’t procrastinate it. I was thinking I need more healing but at this point I think Inner Circle or Daredevil since IC isn’t updated yet. I guess part of me still longs for some connection with legit people again. So that is probably what new LB is working on. I always felt like I was okay being alone and preferred it to any drama and forcing my will upon the world. But new LB is working on rooting out whatever is left of wanting to depend on stuff outside of myself for my fulfillment.

The crazy thing is when that’s all done then, based on my experience, the right people will just drop into my life without any effort or planning. I like a lot of the people who claim you have to make things happen, well life is going to win out in the end and why not get in harmony with what life wants? That’s what The Surrender Experiment book is getting me back to. I never had great success with manifestation yet the best things were always things I never planned or intended. So to me it was more about letting go and life already has a course, nobody’s is the same of course but that’s where the best things happen. I’m not saying don’t take action at all. The guy in The Surrender Experiment wanted solitude and to do his inner work. But he surrendered to life and all these things happened effortlessly, money, people etc. Yet he did work and he worked hard. He even became the CEO of a company that was worth Billions. A programming company and he had to learn how to code and it started with him learning how to build and he worked on his own house. That turned into a contracting company and he acquired all this land starting from the tiny piece of land he bought for his shack to live in or so he thought. Yet it wasn’t about him forcing life, it was about him living life with his sails filled by life’s will.

End of Night Update:

I’m going to play around with new custom ideas. I was thinking what could I pair new LB with. Well, why not consider to just bundle it with new Primal. That way I’m staying focused on these two titles, and maybe just add back in those modules that I miss and bring on board those that I think would tackle what I think some of my nagging issues are, to get more focused healing with. It wouldn’t be too spendy I’d maybe have to purchase new Primal and the build, but I think the modules I’ve already purchased give me plenty to work with.

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Day 21 6/7. 6/13 starts new cycle.

15 mins new Primal.

I’m kind of excited about making a new LB/Primal custom. I never wanted to make a custom with Primal because it was already so packed. So I was always thinking what could I custom with new LB. Well then it clicked yesterday- just combine LB and Primal in one that way you don’t add another core but you can pick up those modules that you miss from previous customs, and give some of them more time. So that’s my plan. So it looks like I’ll finish out my first run through of KB. Then when I finish that I’ll have a custom ready to go. I’m still thinking I’m due for a 30 day washout so that’s probably a good idea before I start the new custom.

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No listening. 5 days of no listening.

Having some strong feelings come up was a good thing. It got me back to making letting go a priority and it’s paying off. By the time I get to work my mind is pretty quiet so I don’t have to spend the time trying to let go. I just focus on my work and stay in the flow and am able to more easily focus on the audiobook or podcast that I’m listening to.

Tonight I was also feeling something. I don’t remember what though. Just more okay with being sexy or something along those lines. Just at the right pace for me where the internal reality is shifting as fast or faster than the external.

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No listening.

I made one rough draft of my custom. I was happy with it. Now I’m looking through the synergy modules and have two in the rough draft. One of them just combines two modules I was already using. One of them just adds a module.

So my second version of my new custom has 5 synergy modules. So I’ll leave it alone for awhile and come back to it with a fresh mind. I want to build the best custom I can but I do plan on going for Khan regular next year.

I don’t want to stop Khan Black but there’s also a synergy module on energetic development and so leaving khan black out for awhile wouldn’t be such a big deal. Since the plan is to pair up Khan Black and regular Khan next year. I just want to keep KB going but I also could stand to go with something with wealth scripting so I can get started on that front.

P.S. literally after ending this post a notification dropped in my lap and it was about this book about the energy of money. I’ve had the physical book and audiobook but haven’t gone through them. So just for fun I’ll make that my next book that I go through.

PPS:

Just like that I’ve come full circle. I’m now in favor of building a new Primal new Sanguine custom. With the synergy module on energetic development. I think that’s the perfect baseline for me to finish out the year before I go to double Khan. The reason why I’d do it that way is because I’d want to combing KB and Khan. And I feel like a stack of primal and a sanguine/love bomb custom with some targeted healing and essential modules is just what I need to prepare and also have the best rest of the year I can without being too heavy in healing and massive growth. It’ll be just more fun and right paced.

end of night update: So now I think I expanded so much that I’ll just put the custom ideas out of my mind for awhile. Let it cook. lol. Still like 3 months away from having in my stack.

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5 day break update

So I’m feeling kind of good. Not the equal and opposite of the lows from previous days yet. But I’m feeling good like I’m getting to higher levels or something. So just some of that optimism maybe, just feeling good and being more grateful for now and things as they are too. I also notice with where my mind goes it isn’t going back to old hurts and problems, it’s kind of been giving me new perspective on some past memories. Not sure how to describe it. It’s a positive in my book.

One from earlier was an old memory from work. I worked with an ego maniac guy and his whole thing was to be a clown and make people laugh. He was also one of those guys that thinks its his job to tell the world how to live. I thought he was my friend back then, but another person I should have never put up with. Maybe it was a keep your enemies closer kind of thing, knowing he had a big mouth it was kind of a had to think of him as a friend and so he could think of me as a friend too. But it was just me putting up with it and being kind of nice guy. Anyway there was one random memory that popped up. Some guy came to our work on his shift and he was making buddies and he was gonna buy some herb from him. So he’s telling me all in a good mood. The next time I see him he’s ready to fight complaining he hasn’t gotten me my herb he better give me my money back. lol. At the time I was caught up in being a nice guy. I didn’t see the humor in it, even though I always felt like humor was one of my specialties as well. Whereas now it strikes me as some kind of comedy show. Like my mind was showing it how they’d do it in a comedy film/video. First scene the dude is all happy. The next scene guy is all out of sorts. The contrast.

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5 days off update

I’m not keeping track of individual days. I’m on 5 days off until the 13th.

Today I feel like some more of the Primal is activating. My mind is filled with more seductive thoughts and vibes, with some optimism and fun still there.

I’ve only been listening to Primal 1x weekly at 15 mins. So far it’s been smooth and I’ve been patient with results because like I said my stack currently seems to be the right pace for me. Inner changes are occurring maybe even faster than externals and to me that’s always what I’ve been looking for mainly. Those internal changes because I’ve always had opportunities and good things but I was somehow holding myself back internally.

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So my tentative plan is laid out. In 2 cycles I’ll have completed a round of Khan Black. I’ll take a month off and I’m thinking I’ll finish out the year with a Love Bomb/Sanguine custom, Primal, and Daredevil.

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I had a slight pang of wanting friends again today. So I saw that it was just the mind using that to distract me from being on task. I didn’t get on task necessarily but it just kind of dropped away when I saw that. Still some light feelings but they don’t have stories attached. So just more squeezing of the lemon as I call it.

Still having some procrastination around getting back on track with my workout. I started listening to some talks from one of the self realized people I like to listen to. And just casually thinking about the times when things in my life were good, where I felt my best. None of it was forced, it wasn’t me exerting my will. It was less “me” in the personal sense and just being along for the ride of life. So I think when I get to Daredevil that could be fun and get me back in touch with that sense of adventure, that’s something I had when I felt my best as well.

I’m still kind of curious about stage 4 of Khan Black. I plan on only running it for 2 cycles before taking a 30 day washout. I think Daredevil will help me unlock more of that taking action at least in terms of the social game. I think that would really unlock a lot of doors for me in terms of dating, making money.

My custom idea is definitely evolving. Now I think I’m taking out the healing modules, some I’ve used for a year already. I am thinking just make it a custom that maximizes relaxation and calm under stress, energetic transcendence, iron law synergy etc. And the ultimate results/manifestation synergy pack. with Fortune’s Favorite and The way of ROI and Way Finder. Also you are not alone module, safety net, love without attachment, attachment destroyer as the two healing focused modules. formless clarity, the flow.

So yea thinking to maximize the relaxation/stress relief/manifestation, and slightly spiritual focus with being in the now and Energetic Transcendence. So I think I’ve reached my final draft on my Love Bomb/Sanguine custom.