ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#135

Day 12: No Listening.

Being on two update titles (new LB, and new Primal) I can say once again that the recon passes even faster. Within minutes. Though I’ve been conservative with my listening times and haven’t gone constant full loops. New Primal I do 15 mins 1x a week and that works. I only listen to 30 seconds of new LB every time I listen. And I’ve been alternating between 15 mins and 30 seconds with KB.

I wish I had one person at least who I could message and even hang out with. Two of my favorite people haven’t replied to my last messages. They’re women so I’m not going to double message. So for now those are not options anymore. I still wish that I could have gotten more out of Code of Loyalty module. It seems all it did was make me aware that loyalty might be extremely rare. I didn’t find any loyal people. It made me aware of an old situation from like Jr high, where I stopped hanging out with somebody I probably should have kept around.

I definitely want to be running a custom so I can get You Are Not Alone module in the mix. I just don’t know what custom I’d make. I’d like to custom Khan Black stage 4 but once KB is updated I’ll run through the whole thing again. So any custom with KB could be a year away yet.

I want to do Heartsong, but would a heartsong/Primal work? I don’t know. I don’t know that I’ll listen to heartsong long enough to make a custom. I also probably need to run Will to Power so maybe Primal/Will To Power custom.

I also think between Primal and LB and KB things will work themselves out.

PS: I just realized that Heartsong will be a big help for me with all this too. It’ll help remove my unhelpful beliefs about myself and others in regards to relationships so I’m looking for some general benefit as well as the romantic.

#136

Day 13: 15 mins KB3, 30 seconds new LB.

Feel like I have more energy that I’d like to channel into working out and studying/learning. I think part of it is a little wanting things to get moving quicker, but I know that it’s just a matter of staying consistent and sticking with it. I think part of it is being able to see where other people are at and knowing it’s best for me to let them go and keep moving. I think that is the recon of the old reality vs. the new input from my stack. Getting me to see things and move through things so we can keep it moving so we level up.

It seems like generally people are where they’re at and that’s where they’re gonna stay. I’ve always been someone who believes in growth and self development. The issue was always I was loyal and so the people thing was always tough for me. I’d gone too far and worked on myself so I couldn’t stay where they were but maybe I hadn’t gone far enough to get to the new people I want to be around.

#137

Day 14: No listening.

Seems like the cycle is still back and forth. Progression and then some regression. It’s not major but it’s there and part of the process. I’ll be free of the old patterns then I’ll slip back into them for awhile and before I know it I’m still moving forward and leaving it behind me.

#138

Day 15: 30 seconds of KB 3. 30 seconds of new LB.

Still noticing some subtle signs from others that my stack is working. But I know to just stick with it and even if I don’t get all the internal changes as fast as I want, things are working and shifting for me.

I started listening to Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle yesterday. I’m doing the audiobook. That was the first spiritual book I ever read. So I guess I was lucky that I never got into any culty stuff and never had to fear that, being an introvert helps and hsp. The people I found who I like the most are not people who want you dependent on them, they are the opposite. They want to awaken you to the truth of who and what you are.

In my experience the types who are afraid of everything being a cult, are already conditioned and set in their beliefs. They don’t want anything to possibly shift their version of reality. I’ve always wanted the ultimate reality even if it’s not what I believe. I like to give up those beliefs because I know they’re only limitations. Like I don’t have to believe that the sun will rise tomorrow, because it just does.

One time somebody I worked with was telling me to listen to Alan Watts, and the ego guy walks by and says it sounds like a cult. It’s anything but, but that’s what I mean. Although I myself have held myself back from many great opportunities and experiences because of my own insecurities and limiting beliefs as well. But I think generally people are conditioned and trained to belief in certain things, and oftentimes it is limiting. Yet they’ll argue for it, they call it the agent smith effect. Like it’s not about being stupid, nobody’s going to touch a hot stove on purpose, unless it’s their first time. That is also how we learn, we make mistakes, we take chances. That’s the stuff we overcome to become and do what we want.

So I’m hearing it differently now. I listened to it a few years ago at least like 20 times in a row. It was definitely part of the reason I had some spiritual awakening type experiences. On my first listen this time I just felt kind of good, like I knew it was good. So I plan to listen to it like 10 times in a row and go through what I consider my foundational books that deserve a read every year.

One thing that stuck out was he says constant growth isn’t actually a good thing. It can be destructive or something. And that disillusionment is kind of necessary because it makes you go within and turn back to the spiritual. If life was perfect and I was happy I never would have gotten into listening to the enlightened types.

I had planned on quoting eckhart directly but I don’t feel like going back through the physical book to get the right quotes and sections. But definitely a book that’s helped me and something I’ll listen to or read probably once a year from here on out.

#139

Day 16: No listening.

Tomorrow is my third full loop of new Primal.

I planned on switching spots with new LB and new Primal. Where I’d run Primal for 30 seconds as normal and move LB back to 15 mins 1x weekly. I think I will keep Primal in the 1x weekly spot at 15 mins. I’ll bump it up to 3 mins with new LB next cycle.

#140

Day 17: 15 mins new Primal.

#141

Day 18: No listening.

#142

Day 19: 15 mins KB 3. 30 seconds new LB.

Yesterday I was driving around. I noticed that I wasn’t looking at everyone as they passed me. So to me that said that habit was broken. I guess it was still some seeking outside fulfillment. I also noticed I’m not as interested in the nature scenes. I appreciate it but I was hoping for that experience of the beauty and awe of nature’s beauty again. I guess I noticed I’ve been more self fulfilling I guess. So I’m probably experiencing more of that calm and non-chalantness and being unattached to outcomes, that’s what I’ve been noticing.

I also think that’s more of the alpha side coming through. Even when I’ve been doing stuff I used to be kind of hyper vigilant and notice everything. But I was noticing that I was keeping my focus and it was on what I was doing, not about what other people were thinking of me or watching me. I didn’t bother myself with any of that.

#143

Day 20: No listening.

I had this theory that it was the leadership in Chosen that got all these business women attracted to me. I’ve done 3 loops of new Primal. I haven’t seen any business women who are showing signs of interest. I’ve seen some interest and attraction more from the “normal” crowd. Again, only 3 loops so I’m sure things will pick up as time goes on- and then I’ll have a better idea of new Primal. I would like to stack new Chosen when it comes out with new Primal. I think that’d be a great combo for me.

Today I was noticing a more authoritive sounding voice in myself. I wasn’t trying to do it it’s just how it was coming out. So it seems I’m starting to express some of that confidence in the becoming a natural leader from new Primal.

#144

Day 21: 30 seconds KB 3, about 13 mins of new LB.

I planned on listening to the full 15 mins of new LB, since it’s the last day before 5 days of no listening. I was feeling good until I got to about 12:50. Then I noticed like I got the sense that the gas tank was full. I was going to go the full 15 mins anyway but I decided to stop it just over 13 mins. I didn’t want to overload even though I have 5 days off now.

#145

Day 2 of 5 off. I start the new cycle on Sunday.

I haven’t had any roughness or recon from my 13 mins of new LB.

I noticed that there was a little bit of what I would liken to Daredevil-type traits surfacing. No, I’m not saying Primal is like Daredevil. I’m saying that’s what I’d liken my personal experiences too. It’s gotta be the fun scripting and the not caring what others think or non-chalantness coming through. I used to be a guy who could make my friends laugh and if you weren’t in my circle you probably didn’t ever hear me say much. So I guess that’s always been there but for me it’s been more highlighted, perhaps as an anchor point to be built upon.

#146

I’ve noticed an uptick in my sexual energy/libido again. So I have been “releasing” daily and even more than once. It’s not a have to, I’d say it’s more of stagnation prevention until my new baseline for utilizing and transmuting this extra energy is established.

#147

Had good dreams last nite. I still woke up and was a little cranky today. So some very light recon. I just feel like I need more sleep.

#148

Day 1 15 mins of new Primal.

This will be cycle #3 of new LB in my stack. Cycle #2 of KB 3, and new Primal in my stack. I listen after I wake up but I just wanted to make my official post before bed. New cycle begins!

Just listened to my Primal loop a short while ago. I’m feeling a bit more lighter. I’m not feeling what I’d typically think of as primal, I’m feeling more happier.

#149

Day 2: No listening.

I started my new cycle 1 day early. I guess I got too excited. Today was supposed to be my first day.

I went to the petrol station today. I haven’t been to this one in about two months. It was my regular spot. So the older lady was working, I’d say 50’s-60’s. Still fit and active. Well she was presenting the body language of having some attraction to me. I haven’t seen that from her before.

So I’ll chalk it up to my new stack.

End of night update:

I had some recon come up today while I was at work. Very subtle. From my perspective it was just some old emotion being processed. I used to someone who missed out on plenty of opportunities in my past. Then I became someone who nobody was willing to give a chance to. I don’t feel bad about that and it’s not going to stop me from going for what I want. So I wasn’t feeling sad about it. It was just being processed with the knowing that I don’t have to worry about any of that anymore. I will take advantage of the right opportunities for me that show up, and I will hold up my end of the deal. I can’t bend others to my will, thought that’s never been my style anyway. So after I was realizing that I realized that’s gotta be the new Primal influence.

Once again I’m feeling like I wish I had something to attract the right people. I do still have my sights set on heartsong though not as much. I think new LB is taking care of a lot of that healing along with new Primal and KB. I don’t think I want friends though. Again coming back to most practical would be having a social circle through business contacts or something. Even though I want freedom more than I want to be working all day. As far as when the time comes to switch out new LB, regular Chosen is starting to look more attractive to me again. As far as the previous titles before updates I do think regular Chosen was my favorite title to run.

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#150

Day 3: 15 mins KB 3, 3 mins new LB.

Initial impressions of bumping up new LB to 3 mins. I think it’s just going to increase the positive feelings and help to raise morale and consciousness. So I won’t be expecting any manifestations right away but I would say they’re in the works.

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#151

Day 4: No listening.

Had some nightmares last night. Before bed I was sitting outside noticing how relaxed I was feeling, especially in the shoulders. I haven’t been doing any stretching or anything. I’ve been kind of taking it slow and having more rest days lately. I was noticing how I was feeling relaxed and to me it was like a small taste of Sanguine-like effects. I was able to notice how Sanguine could be a hugely beneficial title just for the relaxation and being free of tension benefits. I was definitely in a heightened sense of physical and mental relaxation, I’d say more physical though in the shoulders than anything.

Night update: I’ve signed up for an online dating site. I gave up on internet dating after having such poor experiences with it. So it’s probably been close to 10 years (maybe more like 4-5, I think I used this same photo last time I put a profile up). I’m older, the demographics have changed a bit where I live. So I signed up to see what’s out there. I haven’t seen a lot in my particular city yet but I’ve liked a few profiles. I’ve already got a lot of likes on my profile. My first thought was this has to be a scam. But it’s never been a scam site in the past, it’s still one of the main ones. And I realized well I’m older now and there’s a lot more profiles than there used to be. Plus now it seems like you have to pay to see who likes you and get all the features, but in the past it would show you who liked you if you liked each other. But the photos are blurry but you can still kind of make out who it is if the profile shows up. But you’re just limited to how many likes you can give in a day if you’re not paid.

#152

Day 5: 3 mins KB3, 3 mins new LB.

I was out and about a little today. I feel like with the NSE updated titles it’s more of an inner world is more lining up with the outerworld. In previous generations, I would find that sometimes the outer changes would be way ahead of my inner changes, so I’d go back to the drawing board and pick a more “healing” title.

So far it seems like things are changing better at a rate that I’m more okay with. That’s also probably going to keep me on titles longer. I can see doing 6 cycles of a title being pretty easy. Whereas in the past I could get switched out after 4 cycles, but that was partially due to the titles being updated and wanting to try the updates.

PS: I forgot that I was driving around today. Feeling like I can get laid! Like I wasn’t telling myself an affirmation or making myself take that on. It was like I just know it.

#153

Day 6: No listening.

Had some nightmares last night.

End of night update: I was experiencing some lows today. Been a month or two and it lasted awhile but not all day. Maybe a couple hours. Some depression type feelings. I didn’t have a reason that came up consciously and didn’t feel compelled to search for one. So I think just more old feelings being processed. I was also feeling more optimistic about my future earlier in the day, feeling like I can.

#154

Day 7: 15 mins KB3, 3 mins new LB.

Still slight healing at times, very manageable. Also get those optimistic moments. Have had a few little mishaps that went in my favor. Like where I order one thing and they give me 3 of the same thing at no charge. These kinds of things have certainly happened in the past but I’ve been in a bit of a drought again. Nothing to where it’s hundreds of dollars yet, but I did get a cash bonus at work too. So things are starting to pick up in terms of things just working out for me.

I’ve still had moments where I wish I had friends but then I think of it and it doesn’t seem practical. But when none of my internet people are around I wish I had someone to chat with. So I just realized that that is a sign to me that I’m not on purpose in those moments. Workouts going good, I am still taking it slow but steady progress.

I had one more thing I wanted to mention but it has eluded me for the moment. So if I remember I’ll add it. Oh I remembered! I was listening to the power of now and practicing the power of now. My intention was to listen 10 times and then go on to the next book that I consider a book to be read at least once a year. So I haven’t listened to either of those books for like 3 days. I listen to them everyday previously. Well it turns out I listened to them 12 times to it’s time for me to move to the next book.

My next book I’ll be relistening to is The Surrender Experiment, I plan to listen ten times in a row. It’s almost 8 hours for the audiobook so that should keep me busy for about a month I’d guess.