ABC333 Khan Black

No Listening

I was so tired yesterday that I can’t really say it was a recon day. But yea, kinda reconny. I was just super tired, got a short nap. Got over it pretty quickly. I had some chores to do and was going to nap first. But I remembered that last time I got a nap, I was kinda cranky and didn’t do my workout after that. So I did my chores and things cleared up.

So far I’m deeper into a cycle than I’ve ever been. Over the 21 day mark. Just being really conservative on the listening times. I might just try the increase by 5 seconds every listening day from here on out. Instead of doing the 30 second jumps each cycle.

I think not wanting to drop down listening times made for more recon. And I never thought I could go past a 21 day cycle. So far yea, it’s been a light cycle. Perhaps I could try the 30 listening day cycle. I am just planning for a 30 day cycle which is like 15 listening days. The 5 second increments could let me get a 30 listening day cycle though.

Lol I’m still a bit on that style upgrade phase. Now I need a new belt. I just have a basic black stretch belt. But now I’m like I need a belt to match my shoes, lol.

Still have a pet peeve of when you encounter un-self aware people. They completely bypass themselves and want to focus on you. Like the violator stuff. Like they’re so unaware of their own thoughts and feelings that they start this thing where they focus on your feelings. They’ll even say it outloud, sometimes I don’t think they realize they’re doing it because they’re so unaware. Just bugs me. Luckily I don’t encounter that very much anymore. It’s actually pretty rare that I do. It’s like there’s no problem man. Awareness isn’t even about words. But it’s a lost cause trying to explain it to them. They’re still in the matrix as they say, completely identified with anything but their true selves.

It’s like there was a baba or guru who would kind of get angry and at his wits end sometimes with people. He knew what people were thinking and that kind of thing. But sometimes he’d get so upset and cuss out the people but they didn’t speak the language so they didn’t know any better. He would get so mad they were basically stuck in the program. Like all they want to do is have sex and get money or that kind of thing.lol. He would say it was like I guess like a woodpecker at wood, but like he was the wood kind of thing. ahaha.

Me I have no such thing. I always say I am so glad I don’t know other people’s thoughts. I have my own. So I don’t care to know what kind of junk is going on in other people’s minds.

But I also identified as an empath or hsp type. Where I get overwhelmed and overstimulated around people. Like I always say every person is basically an individual universe unto themselves, it gets a bit overwhelming walking through crowds.

I guess I’ll go back to 30s on my Primal and PS loops tomorrow. Been feeling a little cranky at times. I would say I’m just sensitive to it. To me it’s not anything any “normal” person wouldn’t experience. But I have been around a lot of toxic people. Those kind who are allowed to feel and say and do whatever they want but made me out to be the problem.

But yea, cranky isn’t my style. I’m aware and present enough to not let it boil over. But when I look at my goals, it’s not what I"m after right now. I’m not after the push through it. I’m after the easy going, light fun, summer vibes. I’ve spent plenty of time pushing it. For me this stack is about fun and keeping it light.

I still think sleep is a main factor. Lack of a straight 8 hours. But yea, nothing I can really do about it. Get as close to 7 as possible and then a little later get an extra hour or two of more sleep.

So it seems I will make it to my first 30 day cycle. But then I’ll take that 5 days of no listening.

Day 13: 35s NE Primal & PS

I’m on summer work hours. So Sat and Sun are both longer days. No more Sunday workouts. Hadn’t done the full workout since wed. But after working yesterday now I’m sore today. Another Sunday where I won’t be my normal fast self.

Still on 2-3 workouts a wek. 2 actually. The rest is just light cardio and mobility. But I’m still happy with my body after the last two weeks of three days of keto per week. It seems my activity level is still high enough to where I’m able to still maintain results. So in a week or two I hope to be bumping up to 3x a week main workouts.

Maybe I’ll just start working kettlebell swings for one set daily. I’m sure that’ll work for me. Also fell off my daily walking. I just havent gotten it in the last two weeks.

Tired of entering drawings and not winning. I want some of that Fortune’s Favorite action.

I had FF in a custom and I think that’s the last time I won anything. Won multiple things.

Went back to sleep for almost an hour after my loops. Woke up with a bit of social aggression. I want to prove my friend wrong. He took the route of the gossiping haters. Decided I was bad or something. No proof. No evidence. Just ghosted me after I tried to get back in touch with him.

I should be mad at myself though. But I was loyal. He was kind of a harmless, fun, dumbass. I think maybe everybody has a friend like that. But I think he’s more like a woman in that he runs on emotions rather than the masculine logic kind of thing. I mean he’s a guy who did what he was supposed to do. But happiness was always in the outer things. A woman and had more kids to save the relationship even got a career and went back to school. Last I heard he may have ended up with stomach cancer or something. But he decided I don’t belong in his life. lol. The most loyal, legit guy you’re gonna find. Yea maybe I don’t like crowds and I’m not the be friends with everybody. Because some people are shady and I don’t mask up. I just stay away from those shady types who think they know everything and are always right. And if you’re quiet and self fulfilled, you’re really a bad guy now. lol.

Now I got a car break down. Didnt make it to work yet. This doesnt seem good. Could be a big hit in the pocketbook. I have zero emergency fund as is.

Lol. Yea. I’ll just call it recon. Been a little cranky at times lately. Car broke down. Might be just a belt hopefully. Easy cheap fix if that’s the case.

No listening

Woke yo from a dream where we were helping this guy deliver babies. So maybe that means the recon is gone, lol. It says it means like new beginnings, maybe good luck, that kinda thing.

Lol. Bumped into this guy I knew when I was a kid. I been thinking about him, but not wanting to meet him again or anything. And all of the sudden he pops up. Lol

I must have broke through some recon. Feel almost too much energy. Like it’s not settled yet because it just got unlocked. Like positive but almost to the point of being anxious. Where maybe they say like fear and excitement could almost be the same emotion, just different perspectives.

The guy I bumped into is actually someone my friend that I was kinda trying to manifest running into again, also knew from back then. Close but no cigar. lol.

Lol. Here I am feeling a bit of wishing I had friends again. So much life in me wanting to be expressed and fun to be had. I think at this stage it seems like a legit connection. True connections that I maybe never had yet. Someone or someones, lol on my level and wavelength.

And or maybe I gotta find some creative outlet.

I was with someone yesterday who knew me all my life. Anyway I’m always aware of people and just sticks out to me who they’re in rapport with. Like who they hang out with and like, because they take on those traits and things. So I noticed at one point they mirrored me. But it was the old version of me. And I was more identified with the new masculine version of me. lol. I still got work to do but yea.

Uhh. My uncle’s ex wife sent me a friend request outta the blue. We never had any kind of relationship. Prolly havent seen her in as long as the guy i bumped into today. A bit strange. Lol.

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Day 14: 1m40s NE LOTS

Decided to bump up another 5 seconds. With one listening day to hit a 30 day cycle. I’m really considering just seeing if I can make the 60 day cycle, 30 listening days.

Still perplexed about this person friend requesting me. Is cougar action finally opening up for me? I’ve always liked cougars but I do look young for my age. So it took me maybe until now 43 to get some cougar action. haha. So the full palate is opened up I guess. College chicks to cougar age. I was born in the wrong generation. Now these kids get hot teachers. We never had hot teachers, at least as boys. Hot teachers weren’t a thing. I think I had one hot teacher, until I got to college.

I kinda miss the days about 15 years ago. I’d be into a cougar. But had a couple instances where they tried to push their hot daughters on me. And they were a bit younger than me. Now I wish I woulda at least shot my shot, lol. But if I overthink it, I would go well would a chick really want a man that her mom kinda pushed on her? I dunno. I’d have to find out I guess, haha.

Well this lady is a nurse, lol. But she’s got a huge social life it looks like. I’m not sure I want to be famous just yet, lol.

Had some feelings coming up today. I kinda like it though. It gives me that reason to do my letting go practice. The 5 second increases seem like they’re more manageable than the larger jumps. So I just might keep on going to see if I feel up to that 30 listening day cycle.

No Listening

Looks like I may just bump to 45 seconds and possibly finish out my 30 day listening cycle that way.

I was hoping to jump to that 3min mark since it’s summer time. I want max results obviously. But I seem to be slightly dipping back into healing/recon. Which does keep me at my inner work practice.

I was trying to get more sleep in and was feeling a bit in my feelings. There’s this chick I like and she used to be a livestreamer. But she disappeared after the app closed down. So I watched a replay and yea, wish she was still around. She lives on the other side of the country though. And has some condition that limits her life, like one of those neurophysical things or something. But dang she has the best vibes. She livestreamed a lot because she liked being social but maybe wasn’t able to travel like a lot of the other hot chicks. Some of them that’s all they did. Couldn’t stay in one place for too long. Then the covid times hit. Now years later it seems like they got back into social life more.

I’m still not feeling like I want a big social life. I’m more about true connections. Since I realize I probably never actually had those yet. A lot of times the friends we get growing up are more about convenience and that’s another reason they don’t last. Like I would say I don’t have life long friends. I would still be cool with them but as far as true connections, yea, that hasn’t been checked off the list yet.

Anyway. My uncle’s new woman came over to drop something off. I actually hadn’t seen her before. Heard she was kinda bossy or something. So they’d broken up before and got back together. But she’s kind of attractive. To me I’d say more feminine good vibes. But I didn’t find her voice appealing. But it kinda snapped me outta my feelings. To get some of those attractive woman vibes, lol. I wasn’t expecting much since after my uncle got divorced, to me it seemed like he was just scraping the bottom of the barrel for awhile.

My digestion seems to be on point once again. I started 16:8 intermittent fasting again. I had acid reflux one night over the weekend. Woke up me up. I’d eaten too close to bed time. So I was reminded why I stop eating 4 hours before bed time. So it just made sense I might as well do the IF since I wake up a bit late anyway since I’m up late due to schedule. And today man, it’s like my intestine got cleaned out and I haven’t upped my fiber or anything like that either. Maybe just more time without food allows for better digestion. I dunno.

Also been feeling like my legs and body have more horsepower. Just feeling like yea I got upgraded. Feeling more capable physically. Say doing some things at work and it’s kind of effortless. Somehow I’m able to get stronger without lifting weights and training for strength. It’s more conditioning style, with higher reps. I only do one set on everything too. I don’t go to failure because I like to hit 3 workouts a week. If I went to failure, I’d need more days off.

Seems like some feelings come up. The. I get through it fairly quickly. Then my sex drive comes on strong. But it doesnt out me i to get any woman mode. I still want a real connection. So yea, maybe that year on KB still helps me transmute the sexual energy.

I will probably camp out at 40s for a few more listens.

This stack is exactly what I need. Even if there’s chemistry it doesnt matter u less you progress things along. That’s what i need. Another chick i liked and felt chemistry with got herself a new man. It doesnt even matter if these guys are right for them. But theyre doing something in not. Which is moving things forward. I guess I tend to wait for a woman to show me interest. Especially with the one’s i like. But also the ones i like tend to be the ones i dont get anyway. But yea. Im working through things and PS is just what i need to level up.

I’m surprised that I’m able to look good after the last 3 weeks of taking 3 days per week off keto. Not completely falling off the wagon. But not eating completely “clean” foods either.

It’s more like I eat whatever I want for dinner on day, then the next day the whole day is whatever meals I want. Then the next day is another dinner of whatever I want. lol. Not overdoing it. But definitely having some candy and had some chips. I know I can at least maintain on that if that’s all the discipline I had. On top of that not hitting my workouts like I’d like either. I think I’ve only been at 2 weekly main workouts. The rest of the days Just very light cardio and mobility. I also have a physical job though as well.

But the crazy part for me is that I can look a little muscular, and I’m not lifting weights or doing much for upper body. It’s like band pullaparts and bodyblade for the upperbody. Yet crazily enough, it works.

Legs I do like wall sits, calf raises, glute bridges, hamstring curls on the exercise ball. I haven’t even gotten back into my 30 minutes of daily walking either.

I saw some of those experts who comment on posts say you can’t lose fat without losing muscle at the same time. Yet All I do is conditioning mostly if anything, thanks to my job. Yet I look more muscular and more cut at the same time.

I feel like being on LOTS is maybe being enhanced in a way. It’s natural but yea, seems to work for me. I even do keto, which again people say you can’t build muscle on. I have and that’s not even what I’m going for.

Working out is something I’ve kept up all my adult life though. Maybe a month off is the most I’d gone I think. And then say when I used to have back issues or got sick, you’d take like a week or more off due to other pains from getting older or something. lol. So for me it’s more like maintenance from all the years of work. Just I never went for building muscles. I guess it really has been more about conditioning I guess. And wanting to be fast and explosive. Which I had to back off from in the last few years.

Day 15 listening: 40s Primal & PS

I like the 5 second increments so far. I think I reached a good spot where I get just enough recon to also get some insights and work through things without it being disruptive.

I also think I’ll be able to increase more often due to it only being 5 second increases.

I went to the bank. I always go to the drive thru. Got a chick with one of those voice, and energies that I like. Now I got something to put on my list. Not sure how to describe it though. She was okay but having the voice and vibe was nice. Didn’t flirt with her tho. I guess it wouldn’t matter, there’s new people at that bank all the time. If there’s a hot chick, chances are she won’t be there next time, lol.

Then I went to the store. I saw this cute chick walking in. Great booty. I was feeling a little fun and flirty when I saw her. But I did not approach. She did look at me when I walked in. So yea, I could have at least chatted with her. Don’t feel like I missed out or anything. Plus I’m tired today. Not feeling quite like myself. Would prefer to be back in bed sleeping.

Also been a bit in reminiscing mode. Where thoughts of when I was younger come up. Before I had to work and be around the shitty people. I would say things are shifting for sure.

Also, the positive feel good boost isn’t prominent like when I first started my stack. Maybe it got normalized, or we’re more into overhaul mode. I mean I still feel good at times. But I’m not like wow this amazing, lol.

I think I’m at the perfect recon level. I just was noticing it and to me it feels like what a normal person is. You know a bit of an attitude and stuck in the program kind of thing. But with the subs you get to level up, and the average person doesn’t. Like that’s why I got so much blowback for existing when I tried to work around them. So eventually I got a job where I work alone. Maybe they don’t level up they go to the bar or their vacation or whatever. But that’s more like just coping to me. It’s not overcoming that recon and leveling up.

Like I always said. If I was happy and it in these expanded states of consciousness. That was not good. Even being filled with love they’d want to tear it down. So I think the reality bubble scripting is gonna be great. That will add a whole new dimension for me and yea, I get some idea of how that could work for me. Helping to lift people out of that mundane instead of being offensive to them for existing. haha. Of course I only want to deal with the right people for me.

Between Primal and PS, the social calibration and the “seductive” calibration. I think yea, just the perfect stack for me. Still feeling like yea, I might finally be on that year or more stack.

I would love to add KB into that. But since I need a health/fitness title on board, maybe way further down the road I’d test out Beast Unleashed to test out that primal energy boost.

Moments of happiness and fun still show up tho. And yep, pretty natural. It’s not like I’m admiring it because it’s just normal. lol.

Yep, yep. I’m just gonna go for a 30 day listening cycle. The 5 second increments seems to be the ticket for me. Seems like only 2 listens so far if I feel like I want to ease back on the recon.

But I also think I found the right recon for me to tolerate. Just enough to get me feeling like a normal person with all their emotions, lol. And then I still get the happiness and fun for my own enjoyment. Although the recon is kind of entertaining because I am aware without being identified. So healthily detached you could say. Plus I found that it makes the ground ripe for insights.

When I used to go full blast, I’d have the lows or challenges and then always would have good come out of it. So I still get some of that without it being too back and forth. A nice balance.

No Listening

Yea. I think I’ll go another listening day at 40s on my titles. Just for the sake of ensuring it’s a light fun stack.

It’s a little back and forth between stuff surfacing and also feeling the positives. Just the right balance I’m thinking.

I initially thought that zero recon was the way to go. But I find that there’s a perfect balance. I guess it’s like the yin and the yang. A little recon, helps to get the most out of it. Plus it seems to be a necessary factor for change.

I’m happy with my results. Slow and steady for sure. I would anticipate the master blaster effects to maybe take 3-4 months.

I still get a bit of the trailer effect when I first start a stack. Then it seems to taper off, for the inner changes. So I’m enjoying my inner experience. I think it’s a good pace though, it’s not the going from one extreme to the other. Where I got all these manifestations and experiences and the inner hasn’t caught up. That was a thing for me in the past when I could just jump into 15min loops. Or full loops right from the get go.

I think the slower and steady is perfect for me. Even though there is some desire to get to the really good stuff. But either way I think the growth and change is still sped up from without having subs. And it’s just smoother.

For me it seems to be that matter of focus. Where do I put that energy. I’m consciously aware of that at least, and just getting better at channeling my energies into the desired or at least production directions.

The lows aren’t so much lows anymore either. The highs aren’t super high either. It’s all a bit more naturalized and middle path, if you will.

That’s what I think is great, with the improvements in the sub tech. Someone else could be primed for the big results and hit the ground running. So it’s maybe one size fits all sort of thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same experience for everyone. The idea is that it works through the individual.

Feeling that extra energy again. I mean in terms of just live to be lived kinda vibe. Not making up a story about it. Not even saying it’s just part of the process, lol. But it’s probably just that.

The 5 second increments seem easily digestible. So far it’s constant progression. 5 second increase every listen. There might not be a need for me to stay at one time just yet.

I’ve been saying I haven’t had a true connection. Well at the time I thought all my friends were legit friends. I’d say there were a couple true friends. But not as many as I maybe thought.

One of them was a guy who I was friends with then later found out we were cousins. He passed away I think he was 20, car accident. But he’s been coming to mind lately. I would say we probably wouldn’t hang out anymore, but yea he was definitely a legit friend. Just been coming to mind and I’ve kind of been re-experiencing those feelings of what that was like for me. I guess I’d forgotten about it because for the last however many years, it’s just been about trying to find a way to deal with toxic workplaces and people. Mainly just became a hermit for quite a few years now, lol.

But Primal and PS seem to be giving me my mojo back for life.

Listening Day 16: 1m45s NE LOTS

I was almost gonna head to work and I remembered that I haven’t listened to my loop yet. Luckily, the daily journal entry habit reminded me that it’s a listening day!

I would say I feel like I"m definitely getting plugged back into the best years of my life. Although I don’t get to literally go back and relive it. I get to relive that experience now, just without a lot of the traumas,anxieties, fears etc that got in the way back then. So yea, I would expect life to be getting “magical” and having good things start happening. Since my “vibration” is back to my favorite times.

Maybe I’ve created a reality bubble for myself, lol.

Interesting. My social medias are still a bit of a wasteland in terms of likes and stuff. But I don’t feel rejected. I’m having fun. And for whatever reason they’re not on board. That doesn’t mean nobody is.

The other day I realized that it is just fun to post stuff on my personal social media. It’s almost like my own personal magazine. I was trying to make it attractive or whatever and hit the right notes. But I realized that doesn’t even matter.

Also was just reminded that the times I had the most fun was when I had all these friends. And generally, it was definitely before I had to work for a living. Also one of my best hookups happened because I was just having fun at school. I think I even hit on a few chicks but they didn’t like me. Right, I hit on them, lol. Anyway there was this chick I was having fun with in class. Zero attachment. Hooking up with her was not even on my radar. All of the sudden on like a weekend we bump into them. And some other guy I never hung out with, that was the only time we ever hung out. He ended up being the middle man. She liked me so he relayed the message. I think his woman was there too or something. But anyway I got to hook up with this chick and it was all her idea. Come to find out after our night ended, that she got dropped off at her man’s house! It might’ve been an underage situation too. He was like a man, out of school for sure. We were in high school.

But yea, I’m feeling alive again. No friends yet, but oh well. I’m still not even concerned with finding women either. Just that my stack has brought me back to my “old” self. And I like it.

So once again I’m reminded that a vast majority of my success with women, are when they chased me. So much so that, now I’m at the point where if I like a woman, I just forget about it. lol. I get neutral if I can and leave it alone. I’m only interested in women who are interested in me, but still might be picky.

Where I can get better is seeing the interest. But then making a move on the ones I like, that show interest. Because I’m still pretty sure that not every woman is going to proposition a guy. Yet that’s basically how I’ve gotten all my women. lol. But I think it does limit me when I’ve been a homebody. So I will have to get better at talking to women who show interest but don’t actually open me. That’s where I’ve been lacking. Plus that and I liked the ones I liked, sadly they didn’t like me. And I finally have come to terms with that so I can enjoy life again. Forget about 'em and still have fun.

But I’m still not gonna start talking to a woman who is obviously checking me out while her bf is right there. That only happened once this year tho like a month ago, lol.