ABC333 Khan Black

[ABC333]

Day 29: No listening

I really want to do True Sell. The best solution would be to get a GLM custom with it in there. For now I’ll have to save up for that. I have no extra monies, tied up until I pay my taxes. What’s crazy is I’m self employed, I make less than last year and my taxes doubled. I guess everybody else got a good deal on those taxes though. I’d hope to find a part time normal job, and that would cancel out my self employment taxes.

I guess the question for me is, would I trade out Primal for True Sell? The answer is yes! Only because the seduction aspect is in Primal and for now I’m not really using that. True Sell would help me with my inner work and direction and be more applicable to anything I think. I am getting a lot of “healing” work with Primal, and I do enjoy that. But I am in a place where I feel like I can come back to that later. True Sell would just be a primer, depending on how it goes. Or if I like it so much, I can potentially hold off until I finish my 12 months of GLM, then bring Primal back on. Or at this point, I could do the alternating cycles of Primal and True Sell if I really wanted.

Did floors today already. Took my pre-workout and it’s time for a workout. I have some momentum today. Social media just isn’t hooking me in, so I’m free to do those things that need to be done, and or add value to my life. That’s nice.’

I’m willing to make the True Sell/Primal trade because GLM is the real foundational for me. Primal is fun and I think it’s just another level. True Sell is closer to what I’ve always wanted to do and be. So I think the plan is to finally test it out. Check another one off the list. Heartsong has always been another one I put off, but dating is still not at the forefront of my current desires. And I could credit my willingness to jump in on True Sell from my time with Primal. More willing to try what I wanted, and honestly assess my current situation. Where dating and women are not on the top of my list for now.

Whew! Still going through inner purification it seems… Once again I am rethinking my path forward. Now I’m considering LB. Most likely course has me swapping out Primal for now. I may have to go back to my bread and butter which is LB.

Yep. It’s come to a decision. Love Bomb will get the call up. Primal goes back to the sidelines. LB goodness and healing flavor is what is most required for my path at this time.

Tried to go through the LB thread. I can’t get myself to do it. It seems there’s this inner pull to trust and go with my own experience as it unfolds. Rather than try and gain inspiration from others.

Feels like I’m going through a rebirth. I’m wondering how many of these I gotta go through. This time I’m not looking to go for a purely healing title. I’m still psyched out by the DR copy- it says something like, you are not ready for this. Well, I’m already going through it. But yea, I don’t want to risk any more intensity. I hope to get a good nap in today. Yesterday I got 6 hours, today 7.5. The day before I got 10 hours total and was so tired that day. I’m also hoping Paragon will help balance that out a little, maybe I’ll get quality sleep at least.

I did get the Thursday workout in. That could actually help me get a nap today.

Alright so that little rebirth session took me out for a couple hours. Lol. Just had to surrender physically and mentally. That kinda thing could really affect a guy’s life if had one. You don’t tell the boss hey I’m going through something. I’ll need the rest of the day off, or maybe you could? Lol.

I’m not blaming the subs. I’m on a 30 day washout even. Just I’ve always had anxiety as far as i remember. And it’s gotten way better. Still have occasional purges as I dump more of the old stuff. Also had some somatic releases. Just part of my personal process.

Now I’m back to normal. Once again, feel like well. I could keep going on the same stack, lol. It’s definitely providing growth and change for me.

I might’ve gotten some breakthrough. I feel like after going through the Primal copy, that the seduction stuff seems more possible for me now. Just that the women I tend to like, don’t live in the same state as me. So it seems my future potential means some traveling?

I will go ahead and do another cycle as is. Testing out the new Paragon. I think that will help things out for me. Primal is bringing back some fun, and that’s always been a part of my personality. A lot of what I like about life kinda got shoved in a drawer. For the longest time after I had to work for a living, a lot of what I liked about life just wasn’t there anymore. The focus was more on how do I stop all the unwanted attention. But I got the idea that if you go in the right direction in this world, this world thinks you’re wrong. So I became a hermit, which I’m fine with.

Primal is bringing back my favorite parts, and that includes being in the world. Having friends, meeting women. Doing things, going places without all the anxiety about how I’m going to be received. Like how can a person who just exists be a lightning rod for haters and negativity. That really sent me for a loop. I get moments though where I see people respect me or don’t even notice me. And I like that. Also being attractive to the ladies is always a bonus.

Tonight I was on my drive to work. And it’s like HD vision was turned on. A little clear, and open internally, and yea it was kinda like looking out at the world with new HD vision eyes.

Still some clutter in the mind of course. It’s just thoughts and feelings. I have been doing the mantra thing. I pick one mantra that covers everything. I just say that everytime an unwanted thought comes up. I don’t know why I never did that kind of thing. But yea, so much clutter and I’m finally clear enough I guess. Always learning new techniques and things to try. It all comes back to simplicity for me. If it works for me, that’s what I’m going with. Not arguing, not sharing anymore, lol. Keeping things to myself more. Just learned a lot just from being around people. I could never believe how someone could fall for a scam, but I found that a lot of people are kinda scammy or that have some ulterior motive. And I’m not one to take advantage of others, so I never realized that so many people do. lol. I guess the love and light was a bit childish. I’m still coming to terms with not always being kind. It’s like the story of J man flipping over a table. That’s what everybody focuses, the one time he turned over a table. So that’s their mode. You gotta stone everybody first and ask questions later. But that will never be me. On the rare occasion, yea, I might have to be short with someone or put them in their place. But luckily anything like that has been so rare in my life. Since I’ve been a hermit, lol.

[ABC333]

Day 30: No listening

I did it! 30 days off. Not sure when I took that long of a washout last.

Had some kind of nightmare last night. It wasnt too bad. Just being chased so I kicked them and actually kicked my wall and it woke me up. Lol It seems I always throw a kick in my dreams of getting attacked. Rare but it’s not the first time. I wonder why I never throw a punch lol. In real life a kick wouldn’t be my go to.

There is a bit of apprehension about continuing Primal. It’s probably just that I am changing. So there’s that slight resistance from the ego. It’s not feeling comfy and safe now.

I was thinking I could use some touch up on my self worth and forgiveness. So there’s also that to consider. I do think it would be worthwhile to do some LB and then get back to Primal. Also Regeneration if I really want to do a bit more healing.

I decided that I’m going with Genesis Joy over Primal. I see that I haven’t even “purchased” it yet, lol. I wasn’t interested at all when it first came out. But it seems like just the ticket for where I’m at.

Genesis Joy keeps all the stuff I like since that brings me joy. And there’s a bit of self love in there. So I’m planting a new crop and then I’ll come back to Primal.

It’s also skills based. Since I’m not actively working on seduction skills, happiness and joy are skills I am definitely working on already.

Well, I think I’m gonna just pull the rug out and do something bonkers. I’m gonna try LB and Genesis Joy, with Paragon as my new stack.

Still stressed out by the homefront. Not that it’s making me anything. It’s just that we got a housemate who squandered his opportunities. Just smokes herb in his room and hasn’t had a job in 3 months. The other housemate is elderly, and I’m basically the caretaker. So I get worried about the person.

I think LB is going to once again help to shore up any self image issues for me. Get me feeling good. Plus Genesis Joy will help me out a lot. So yea, for my current circumstances I think it’s going to be a great stack. I don’t feel like I’m falling back. Even though it’s kind of the same pattern. Where I feel I need to shore up the inner world after trying out some exciting titles. But this time I know I’ve grown a lot and it’s just part of the process. Going back to the basics and might even be a lighter stack. With the stress in my life I feel like it’s going to be better than trying to just do a complete overhaul. It’s just gonna get me back to a good place, a base to once again build on.

I find it disappointing to see someone given a huge opportunity and then squander it. But I guess in nature, a bird gets shoved out of the nest and they must learn to fly. I believe in family, even though mine wasn’t the best. I don’t come from a hugging family, so to me that’s normal. Lots of issues from how I was raised, but I don’t hold that against anyone. It’s just my job to get free, and somehow make it in the world myself. I had so many opportunities that now, I say if I could go back I’d take full advantage. But that’s because I don’t have that anxiety or unregulated nervous system that I did. But as far as currently I feel like i still might not be able to take advantage of opportunities, if they deal with people. I still have some things to overcome, so I can just be in the people world as anyone else, though not like anyone else, from a GLM place. That would be idea. In the world but not swayed by the outer.

If anything it just shows me that there’s stuff to work through for me. Regarding being disappointed by others. I don’t seem to have any real disappointment in myself. More disappointment in the world I guess, lol. Like if people were legit good people, or I had them in my life. I’d be well adjusted I think. But I got the sensitive type, and kind of the empath thing. So naturally a lot of people didn’t like me. Which wasn’t so bad when I felt like I had good people around me. At least people who had my back.

It is kind of nice to be going through some of those slightly sad feelings. Instead of the old favorite, anxiety stuff. For me it’s not about indulging, just processing and gaining insight and clarity.

I’m on board the stick to a title for a year train. Just that I had to take 30 days off to not get overloaded and overwhelmed. Life circumstances became the deciding factor to get more basic on my stack, and tap into the feel goods.

I don’t have that drive today as I had yesterday. I didn’t want to wake up today, but I have to wake up at a certain time. Then I can go back to sleep. Just wasn’t able to today. I’m having to will myself to do this work out. But that might mean an early evening nap at least.

Also realized that since I don’t have a support team. LB and Genesis Joy are just going to really help me there. I think of myself as an independent person anyway. And between the two I’d expect to attract more of the right people and opportunities, just by virtue of being in a more positive place.

Alright, I’m keeping GLM. Stack will be GLM, Genesis Joy, and New Paragon.

GLM will be my 12 cycle title. It’s too foundational for me to give up on it after 5 cycles. Genesis Joy has some of that self love in it. So I’ll just double down on the joy plus self love addition. That seems to be the wisest decision for me to make.

I may have been too ambitious trying to go 12 cycles with Primal and GLM together. But at least it showed me that Genesis Joy is worth a test. I’ll keep the Genesis slot open so as not to feel tied down. If I want to switch it for LB or even Regeneration, I could do that at a later time.

Haha! I hot my first pre result- I remembered that getting a tax return used to make me happy. Lol. Single. Self employed, not making 6 figures my taxes doubled this year. Maaaan. Since I do part time work I’m probably in the lowest bracket. No govt assistance either.

Got a bare minimum workout in today. Friday is not a day where we get company now. So I’ll have to workout on Sunday instead.

[ABC333]

Day 1: 30s GLM and Genesis: Art of Happiness and Joy

There’s definitely a pull to stay with Primal. But I’m going to go with Genesis. I think that will be of most benefit for awhile.

I been doing the 5 mins of zone 2 cardio on the bike, to start my day. It’s crazy how that little bit of cardio transfers over to life. I get to work and I feel good, like I’m in better shape. It’s probably a good idea to build that up to 20-30 mins at least.

I found out this pre-workout that has 300mg a scoop. And lots of citrulline, like mega dose. Causes me to crash later in the day. So I gotta stick with half a scoop. I took it yesterday and accidentally did a full scoop because I was distracted. So I drank it over a few hours because I don’t like that much caffeine at once. But yea, noticed it caused me to crash and by the time my company left, I didn’t get to finish my workout.

I think GOAHJ is gonna be good. It’ll help me do those needed touch ups when I’m going through the inner purification, processing stuff. Plus who doesn’t like being happy. Also being that it’s skills based, that’ll just add a great dimension. Something that will have lasting effects in all areas of a person’s life.

So tired today. If I didn’t have to wake up with my alarm, I would have slept 9-10 hours I think. Couldn’t get back to sleep after that though. Almost have a headache so maybe after work I’ll come home and take a nap. Or, the work shift will snap me out of it.

Cranky as heck today. Driving to work I noticed it was more physical. From not getting all my sleep maybe. Yet I was curious and slightly entertained more from awareness or observer perspective. Now at work i had to laugh because to me it’s like a godlike masculine cranky. Lol. I’m not identified with it so it’s just kinda fun at times. Gotta take care of business regardless.

Got like a five minute nap and was refreshed. Work turned out to be ok. I just took an easy pace.

It came to mind that men aren’t men anymore. With examples from my life. Whether it’s men letting their wives do the hard work and heavy lifting. Not feeling a sense of duty or responsibility anymore. Maybe if men were men again we could have brotherhoods again. Not the kind that seek power. Just the kind where we are friends and have goodwill towards our fellow people.

My experience in life gave me the impression that if you had true values and virtue, that was not tolerated. The world didn’t want the real thing. They wanted to illusions as some might say. Thus I became a hermit. But now that I’m getting a little older, I have the sense that I can keep the tradition alive at least, of the good men. Not the ego man, a legit man, haha.

It’s kinda wild though. With the housemate, a male. I won’t call him a man. Doesn’t do chores, thinks it’s okay just to live for free. When it was his stated plan to save money to get his own place. Now after 3 months of not working, he’s wasted that opportunity. He’s one of those guys who has had more jobs than I ever will. He walks right into the place and gets a job. But for whatever reason he just can’t keep one. Says he has no people problems. So yea, just unbelievable to me. If I could trade places, I’d be stacking up that money. When else are you gonna have a situation to live for free and all you gotta do is work and save your money? Plus he’s proven himself to be a liar. So I don’t have anything to do with the guy anymore. Unfortunately, it was my other housemates good idea to let him stay here. Family, yea. But like anybody else, if they’re not gonna hold up their end of the deal, there is no deal.

Another thing I’ve been noticing in myself… is that I’m kind of doing exposure therapy. I heard about yeaaars ago. But now that I’m naturally doing it. I would say its not good for someone who is already overwhelmed and overloaded. So now I’m finding that with more clarity, i do the uncomfortable thing and really can see that nothing bad happened to me. So i guess i am retraining my nervous system naturally to be back in the world. It wasnt like i planned it, that oh i need to do exposure therapy. I just see that its been naturally occurring for me.

Oh I almost forgot to mention something. At work today I was noticing that I seemed to be much more mindful.

Lol. Maaan. I wasn’t going to say anything about this housemate. But I finally had to bring it up that it’s time for for him to move out. Having no regard for anyone else when you’re not even paying any bills isn’t gonna fly. Can’t tell him what to do but he’s gotta go do it somewhere else.

[ABC333]

Day 2: No listening

Couldn’t get to sleep last night. Then I had good sleep but I kept waking up. Got like 5 hours of sleep maybe. I actually feel pretty good despite that. Preferably, I’ll get some sleep today. And I’m also planning on Sunday being a workout day now.

Been considering a caffeine break as well. Though I have a few open pre-workout tubs yet. I’d hate to risk them going bad, hardening up and being unusable.

I feel like GAOHJ is going to be a really good title for me. After 13 cycles of GLM I will for sure be primed to add on a seduction title.

I’m also considering True Sell and Rich. That seems like it would benefit my life more than a seduction title. Without the money for a decent lifestyle, I do feel held back from dating.

Having to lay it out for the housemate seems like more exposure therapy. It went better than I thought. It shows me that I am overcoming those old holdbacks. I don’t have to like giving ultimatums but that just seems to be part of life. People are going to do what they do and if it doesn’t meet expectations, they seem to need a fire lit under their ass unfortunately. Or they just gotta go. I’ve always been a helper but it’s no good for anybody when kindness and generosity are taken advantage of.

Wow. I looked in the mirror today. Had a shirt on. My waist is looking snatched. Cinched up. I’m probably back to the lowest I’ve ever been. Not quite a 6 pack, but I have some of the outlines. I haven’t even been trying for it, my workouts have been lackluster. Still coming back from back pain. Workouts were just knee pain workout and not it’s been back pain workout for about a week. Not much cardio or any lifting at all.

That probably explains why I felt I need to eat some carbs last night. I normally do one day but went for 1.5 days this week. I just do a keto diet. If it was only that I’d have had 6 pack abs last year. The diet was on point. I will say it could be that I started taking berberine and lactoferrin. Not even for weightloss purposes. It was more for gut health support.

Feeling a little bad about having to lay it out for the housemate now. But we all gotta learn. I don’t particularly like that we have to work and pay bills just to stay alive. I’ve seen lots of people argue about that. Today I even saw people commenting yea, well that’s on you if you don’t absolutely love your work and everyday is bliss because of your work. So that’s on you that you don’t like work. They obviously missed the point that there’s something deeper as far as social conditioning and programming. Yea some people fall through the cracks and for whatever reason know exactly what they want and get to live in bliss because they love their work so much. But I’m not going to pretend like that’s the majority. Me, I’d be fine with a simple life. Good people at work would have been enough for me. I had a job I liked but the people wouldn’t tolerate my existence. Anyway, maybe I take advantage of this energy and get the workout in. I’d expect I’d need a nap at some point today. Actually, I can see I wouldn’t tolerate their poor behavior and conflict seeking either. That’s why I don’t have a full time job. I pushed it too hard thinking oh they’ll see I"m a good guy. Plus I had the idea that I just had to force myself to work, that’s what we’re supposed to do. Unfortunately I’d done some self work and woke up a little and tasted some true happiness. Now I’d like to balance the two. If I could get a job or better find my thing that I can do on my own and make the money. And be happy without all the people problems, that would be a dream.

Feels like I got past another block or something. My feelings come up easier now so I can feel them and process.

I decided it’s time to take at least two weeks off caffeine and pre-workout. Haven’t done that in awhile.

I think my plan is to go 2 weeks no caffeine. Then try this bottle of stuff that has no caffeine for a week. Then the fourth week I’ll try paraxanthine, some newer form of caffeine with less downsides. I tried it before but it didn’t seem like caffeine to me. But after a caffeine break, that could be the trick.

Slightly in my feels to end my week. I consider Sunday the end of my week.

Tomorrow is my first 30 second loop of New Paragon. I think that will help me with my caffeine break. In the past I haven’t been miserable on a caffeine break, it seems to be more just the idea of it.

[ABC333]

Day 3: 30s Paragon

Woke up from the best night of dreams I ever had. It seemed to be skill based as the themes were me taking on new skills. Since I’ve been awake I would say I’ve felt the happiness chemistry. Just a different flavor than the love bomb variety of feel goods that I’ve grown accustomed to.

Last 2 nights I stayed up an hour later. That’s no good. Because in a week it’ll be like 2 hours later according to the clock. I’m gonna chalk it up to caffeine.

I slept a couple hours today. I feel like I have physical energy and don’t even need the caffeine so far. So maybe it’s mostly a mental thing for me. A little groggy and cranky but yea, normal for not having a good sleep schedule.

I was really impressed with my dreams last night. They were interesting and engaging. And yea it seemed like my mind was taking on those new skills. Seems like just a matter of time until I can pick up a part time regular job. That would probably cancel out my taxes. Since they don’t make it easy for self employed people until you hit the 6 figures it seems. If there is a bracket where things ease up for taxes, it’s not the lowest one.

At least if the egomaniacs wanna argue, I can always say I pay a higher percentage of taxes than them. So I should be mad that there are people who need help, and are getting it. Since they like to make the argument about freeloaders, when there’s a lot more nuance to things that happen with our money that we don’t know about, and we don’t get to control.

It’s crazy. I kinda got into a crabby mood because one of those housemates, wanted to talk about the other housemate. Wish they would get a job stuff. The thing is people don’t change. Real change starts within ones own self. But everybody wants to point fingers at everybody else. I’ve found that life is beautiful and amazing, but the people world is problems. You think you’re helping somebody and it turns out that you’re not helping, you’re enabling. If there’s no problem, somebody decides you’re a problem. lol. Just blows my mind.

So now I’m back to happy after doing some conscious letting go. If i have feelings I can let those go. It’s not about being weak or giving up. It’s getting back into harmony with something greater. Being free from the people world of problems, for me anyway. That’s a lot of the junk, just other people’s desires and expectations. Well I can only free myself. If we all would do some inner work, we could live in a much different world. That does mean action, but from a place of fulfillment and higher intelligence, rather than making changes which only create more problems.

I just saw a post someone posted a picture of someone addicted to drugs. Said they were warning residents of the city about her. She’s a master manipulator and all this. That’s kinda what I found about people. They’ll lie and have all this ulterior motives, and I tend to be a trusting person. I still catch myself and remembering, oh wait this person lied to me. So I have to be more ruthless. Yet all the comments are people against it, like oh you need to help her. Maybe you made her that way. lol. I don’t know how people can be so naive. That’s standard playbook, people will lie with a sad story and they have no desire to change. And yet people want to think they’re so caring or loving. All they have to do is take the person into their own home to find out. That to me is along the lines of toxic positivity. I’m all about giving people second chances, but after finding out if they use up the first, they’ll use up the second as well. I have no issue with cutting people off. As someone who tried and tried and stayed too long thinking people will change, no thanks.

I’m really impressed with how I have physical energy today. I might save money by not having to buy pre workout anymore. Or I might switch to green tea. Possibly a side effect of ridding the body of some blocks or trauma.

I had some insight into the nature of socializing. So I may have unlocked some of the Primal scripting. A situation came to mind with my friend who ghosted me. It was years ago. Anyway I finally just kinda got it. Like an unspoken thing between friends. But having so much anxiety back then I wasn’t able to relax and trust in the friendship. So despite losing the friend, I won’t ever pursue that one again. I feel like yea, the future looks bright. I’m also getting clarity on changing self image and how that changes one’s experience of life. I’ve studied a lot but it’s finally clicking for me, with that deeper understanding.

Once I get my taxes paid next month, I may go for a Genesis Happiness custom with LB. Just make my own little bouquet I guess. I don’t even want to load it up. Just stick with the minimum modules to have it built. I may sneak a couple dating/seduction modules in there of course. Definitely the luck module and treasure finder.

It’s only after one loop, but it seems my unconscious mind has taken a liking to Genesis Joy. Based on my dreams last night. I definitely consider that skills based dreaming, to go with the skills based scripting.

My sleep has to be a priority. But I’m not stressing over it at all. I saw today that I take advantage of when I have energy, and get that rest when my body says downtime. That’s the beauty of not having a full time job. I can cater to my own natural schedules and cycles, rather than have to force myself with a job.

I think Genesis Joy was the right choice for me. It seems like it will help take a lot of stress off and apply the skills stuff to improving my life starting with my inner world of course. That will only transfer over to the outer. Still feeling a bit boxed in with paragon appearing to be permanent in my stack, and glm for 6 more cycles. But it’s still early. Genesis Joy will be a great title the more time goes on. I think it will help me deal with those underlying roots, that would have me feeling boxed in or whatever.

Dealing with the housemate since he’s a liar, he lost sympathy with me. Otherwise I was still feeling bad about it, unfortunately kindness and goodwill doesn’t cut it with some people. I gave him until the end of the month but lol, he might push it to where I gotta tell him he’s gotta go now. I also don’t expect him to change either. So I still have some hardening up to do when it comes to dealing with people. I probably would do good to have the anti-manipulation module in the mix yet. Just because I tend to drop my guard and live with no problems. So just when it comes to people until I’m free, free. I just have to expect problems I guess, and be okay with being ruthless in my dealings with people. I also tend to see all sides so I’d get anxiety about all the possible outcomes. If someone feels wrong they’ll want to get back at you and such… Even if they’re in the wrong, and you gotta tell them, they still may see you as wronging them. lol. It’s one of those things where they say sorry, and then they go right back to doing the same things. So I find that even apologies don’t mean much. Or even other people something as small as keeping their word, they don’t even do that. Yea, I may have to do some conscious letting go around people. I’m sure I have stories and feelings to drop.

The way I see it I could give them what works for me. But I know most people aren’t in a place where they’re even willing to consider it. They won’t do any kind of inner work. I could share the subliminals but I never did because of how people are. I saw the potential as them using it in a not good way, but the case has always been they aren’t even open to it in the first place.

I used to not understand people when someone said something, they found out it wasn’t actually true. Like a he said she said situation. They’d just never trust anything that person ever said again. Like I knew a guy, worked with him. I knew he was trustworthy. Yet if he ever came up in conversation, it was like he had a reputation of being a bs’er. lol. He knew I was a good guy. I knew he was a good guy. My point is that like with the housemate. He lied, and then he apologizes and so I’m accepting it, trying to reframe it as he’s a good guy. In appearances he is. So then I remember he’s lied before. So that took away my sympathy. Then tonight I was walking back to my room and he was doing the same thing he said he wasn’t doing, last night! So again, my sympathy is gone. I’m not gonna try and reframe it that he’s a good guy. That’s how the scammers work, they’re good in appearances and demeanor. But not in action. So he doesn’t have my trust or respect anymore. He’s on his own after this month.

Got a half brother and he’s a slimeball. We always got along great. Then my mom had some money for the kids. But gave it to him to hand out for some reason. But he wouldn’t give it up. Then after that he has the audacity to try and get my mom to ask me if I want to go into a painting business with him. I’m like hell no! You can’t trust him with a $100 I won’t trust him in business. I cut him off and that’s that.

So yea, I got feelings about people. Besides cutting them off. I can only work on myself and set myself free.

As far as my other half brother, we got along great. He was even a cigar buddy. I had plans to make him my camping and fishing buddy. But he turned out to be a political rager. Had to cut him off as well.

I dunno, lol. I dunno. I’m perfectly happy without a circle of people anymore. Even in like groups, I thought that would be cool. But then you hear about all these stories of shady activities with groups as well.

So Heartsong maybe? Find my one person who is legit. That would be alright. Genesis Joy seems like yea, this is gonna be good.

[ABC333]

Day 4: No listening

Got just about my 8 hours of sleep in. Don’t remember my dreams last night. Gonna try to get another hour or so.

Today I was checking out Emperor C&C. I would probably want to do Ascension first. I’m feeling like Ascension will be the follow up to my GLM run. By then I think the updated Ascension will be here for sure. 6 more cycles with GLM. Due to my stack limitations, I think I want to go for a more well rounded title. One main driver and paragon and the other slot is Genesis Joy, which is gonna be my support slot. A lighter as needed kind of spot. I may want to keep Genesis Joy but am planning more flexibility with it.

So far it seems to be my pre-workout habit is more mental than anything. I do want to drink it but doesn’t seem to be a physiological need.

I just remembered I have a few audiobooks on happiness. I gotta find those and upload them to the ipod.

Lol. Still going through feelings at times. Nothing major. Just processing yet. Genesis Joy is gonna really help expedite the process I think.

Seems I got to the bottom of a puzzling situation. When I’d go to work I’d get one single heart palpitation. Now that I’ve been off caffeine for 2 days, no heart palpitation. So I was overdue for a caffeine break. And overdoing it. That means I’m going 30 days no caffeine.

So my workout goal this year is just to build up my baseline of up to 30 mins zone 2 cardio. Then I can try out some intervals.

I get 10k steps daily. But I don’t think that’s zone 2. Work might be zone 2, but I don’t think it’s quite there. It’s more just endurance and I’m used to it so I don’t work up a sweat anymore.

[ABC333]

Day 5: 30s GLM & Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy

I got almost 8 hours of sleep. Was able to go back to sleep for an hour. Was thinking I’d go back to sleep more. Then I remembered I was going to buy this piece of equipment on marketplace.

So I got dressed immediately. Went to get it. It was a little drive. Even ended up on a short dirt road to get to the house. It was a little muddy.

I get there and it was a leave it outside and leave the money there thing. So I walk over there and notice another bag. Maybe kid’s clothes. So I figure somebody else is coming. And I see somebody pull in behind me. I’m walking back to my car and really focused on where I’m stepping. I don’t want to step in too much mud, or a puddle, or even slip on the patch of ice.

So the lady gets out and walks by. And I decide to say hi, because she may live there but probably not. Then after I say hi, we make eye contact and she asks me if I’m there to pick up something from marketplace too. All I said was yea. But I said it probably from a Genesis Joy place. It was just natural.

As soon as we made eye contact and she asked me the question, I felt like she knew me from somewhere. I couldn’t place her in my mind, so I just said yea, like we’d known each other from somewhere as well. I think I’m in love. haha. But it’s not an attached place. Most likely I’ll never see her again and she’s probably a mom and has a family. So yea. But it was just like wow, that has not happened to me if ever. Where you meet someone you never met and you feel like you know them. There was just like a pure connection. It was nice. Since I’m not attached I can just enjoy the experience and the feelings for what it was. She wasn’t even a woman I’d pick out of a lineup and say yea that one. So that probably helps me to see that yea, you never know. You take a chance and you might be surprised.

Makes me think GLM and Genesis Joy could actually be a better combo for me than Primal. But since I’ve got Primal already there a bit, I’m sure I won’t completely lose all those benefits.

I’m still thinking I’m going to try and sleep some more. Being off caffeine now, I think rest will be key for me feeling good. Then I can take advantage of those feel good higher energy times, without having too miserable of a time.

Part of it is that I think I just like to have that little flavor blast. I never thought water was boring. But it kind of is. I don’t want to just drink sugar free soda, because I don’t like the ingredients, and everything is mostly likely just tap water mixed in there. Ever since I was in my 20’s I only drink the reverse-osmosis water. I refill my jug every week. Once a week I’ll do a soda though. Just have to find a good caffeine free one now.

It was a catch up on sleep day. I slept a couple hours to the evening. Feel like I could’ve slept more. haven’t worked out yet, but I’ll get some sort of workout in yet. Not a high energy day. Just more of a take care of business and stop thinking about my new wife I met earlier today, haha. It’s just it felt so natural. Just happened to cross paths. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that kind of connection. Yea, it was like we already knew each other. I don’t feel I missed out though. Anything is possible, and yea, life always has surprises. It kinda makes me rethink why I was even into the women I was into in the past. lol. It wasn’t that natural connection feeling, maybe hormones I suppose. Most of the women I thought I was into was probably lust I’m thinking. Who knows, maybe this chick is using one of those subclub subliminals! haha. Kidding!

Actually, now that I’ve eaten dinner. It might turn out to be a no workout day. Tiredness has caught up with me again.

Based on my dreams after my first loop of Genesis Joy, it seems like it still takes the second day after a loop for results to show consciously. Which is fine. Just making note for myself. That’s how it went in past cycles, I’d notice conscious results on the day of my next listen.

I got the bare minimum workout in. Not sure why I procrastinate on it. It always feels good to break a sweat and move the body a bit.

The thing I bought today where I met the woman who I got to share that special moment with, haha. It’s for my work. I was actually saving to buy a back up. I always need a backup so that I can finish my work. It was in a wealthier neighborhood where they can afford lots of toys, just kind of on the edge of town a bit wilderness-y. So anyway they claimed to only have used the thing once, and at the price I got it for, they were almost giving it away. My current one has lasted 2 years and still going strong, so no real worries about it. Especially if they only used it at home, it wouldn’t get the use that I put em through.

I’m also still saving for my taxes. I thought I wouldn’t have any money at all. But surprisingly I’m in a much better situation than I anticipated. I just cut back to the essentials since I haven’t found a way to increase my income yet. I guess I still had a bit of stress spending going on.

It was also cool how everything worked out for me to be in the right moment at that exact time. Had I went there as soon as I woke up as planned, I would’ve never got to have the moment and get a taste of real connection with somebody. I don’t feel like it was about the person, or like chance meeting and we get together. It was more like a mind opening type experience, that shows me yea. I am on the right track. After all I’ve been through with people, I finally get a true connection experience. Just really opened my eyes and mind I guess.

Later this evening I had to run to the drugstore before it closed. Normally I’d wait until the next day. But I was driving there no worries or anxieties at all. I get there and there’s not too many people. But it’s like I was still too empathic, not intentionally. But you get people with their own insecurities and whatever. So it got me feeling anxious and a bit uncomfortable. I still don’t like to where it seems like my experience depends on other people. So that’s why GLM gets the 12 cycle treatment. Ideally I’d do Regeneration alongside it, since that’s supposed to be a great combo. But I think Genesis Joy will shake things up enough to where I’m on the good side of life, in the right situations kind of thing.

[ABC333]

Day 6: No listening

First week of the cycle has gone by like a breeze. As usual.

Feeling sore. I guess my basic 10k steps and mobility routine is deceptively effective. I haven’t done anything else this week but been doing it daily.

Got another nap in today. The caffeine was probably keeping me from getting naps.

Now I have feelings coming up. There are no stories or memories with the feelings. Seems like just being processed through the body. Like kind of sad type feelings, with a little anxiety. Just processing old stuff I guess.

No caffeine has me napping a lot more so far. Not too miserable. Just wishing I could nap some more. lol.

Not feeling the feel goods today. More in rest mode. Had a slight sore throat the last couple of days. It’s because it’s been so cold in my room. I tend to get a stuffy nose. Yesterday it was a runny nose. It’s not a cold.

A cool trick I learned is being grateful. You know how they always tell you to be grateful. Well a cool trick is to be grateful for those things that already happened. It’s like I’m grateful for that and it seems like it’s a signal to bring more of that. So there does seem to be something to it.

Felt a little better by the time I got to work. Mind was clear and I was able to hear new things in the audiobook I’m listening to.

I also have the idea that I want to do a Genesis: The Art of Happiness and Joy custom.

I also played with the idea of switching out GLM for Primal. Since Primal seems more of a summer vibe to me. At this stage in my life anyway. GLM seems long term and Primal seems like a good summer time title.

Or I could potentially opt for a SSX/Genesis AOHJ custom. Yet the new Happiness title is most likely a stack breaker. Which is why I got the idea of switching out GLM for Primal for the summer. Primal and the new Happiness seem like a fun pairing.

[ABC333]

Day 7: 30s Paragon

I didn’t realize that it’s a listening day. So I’ll do my loop right now. Doing my workout now also. Since we get company on friday afternoon/evening now. So If I don’t get it done first thing then it probably doesn’t get done.

I noticed some GLM and Genesis TOHJ come through this evening. I’m still in catch up on sleep mode. I guess I was revving the engine a bit too long with the caffeine. So now most days I can get a nap even if it’s a short one.

I’m getting the itch to put in some kind of seduction sub for summer. I could make a Summertime/SSX name embed if that’s an option.

Now that I look, Beyond Seduction Synergy would work in my summertime name embed.

[ABC333]

Day 8: No listening

My first long work day without pre-workout. Feeling more like a mortal. So i can see that it was enhancing my performance. Not too miserable. But I am kind of reminded of when I first started my jobs. That was pretty tough. But i just feel like a mortal, not like getting conditioned to the work.

I’m finding out that I actually do need naps and the caffeine was just a cover. lol. Just got home from work ready for that nap. Also took like a 15 minute break at work. Normally I take a 5.

Uhh, maybe I will have to run RICH soon as well. Just to afford petrol for the car. It appears as though this is going to be a very interesting year. I hope just interesting and still being able to afford food and at least the basics. Dang.

Considering trying out this uhh, Methylene Blue stuff. I tried it about 15 years ago before people had really heard of it. There were certainly no commercial versions of it like today. I don’t recall noticing anything but yea, considering giving it a go since I want to back off the caffeine. But maybe not, since that’s a no no taking it with Ginko biloba or Bacopa Monnieri. I take bacopa daily. Bacopa seems to be the safer bet I guess. But Methylene Blue looks like it would be better for that more instant slight boost.

[ABC333]

Day 9: 30s GLM & Genesis AOHJ

Got a nap today.

Nothing much to mention. I’m still on 30 second loops and feel like I’m not missing out on anything. Still kind of blows my mind that 30 seconds is getting the job done. Whereas previously my goal was always to get to that 15 minute mark. I’m even on cycle 6 with GLM and don’t feel that I’m missing out by not increasing the listening time.

I guess I got caught up in somebody else’s rule. It was something like you need to listen to all your titles for the same amount of time. Depending on the titles and goals that’s fine. But I dont’ think I’m going to be bumping up Paragon anytime soon. So far I havent’ had any major recon. I could probably test out 45 seconds on GLM and Genesis AOHJ.

Oh I guess I did have the thought that maybe I will get back to Love Bomb after all. I can’t really judge my results when this first cycle with Genesis AOHJ isn’t done yet. But it did come up for me that maybe Love Bomb is still needed after all. I still see that guilt, shame, and fear seem to be my biggest stumbling blocks. It doesn’t feel as major as before. But still some lingering aspects to get through. But yea it seems any negativity, or issues for me boil down to that guilt, shame, or fear.

Oh, and I’ve seen some good looking women out walking. We got a couple days of warm weather. So lots of people out walking. That got me motivated to workout. Still seems to be a bit of a time/energy issue there. I guess it’s a lot of that noisy mind that gets me procrastinating workouts. But I juts need to take advantage of when I have energy and also just rest on the down times.

Didn’t even think about my stack at work tonight. I don’t even recall what was on my mind. I guess I was just focused on what I was doing mostly.

[ABC333]

Day 10: No listening

I was driving to fill up the car with petrol this morning. I had the sense kinda like on Primal. Of that kind of sense of anything is possible type thing, potential possibility. It was just a different flavor. So I gotta take that as Genesis AOHJ’s flavor is starting to kick in. It hasn’t bloomed yet but something is brewing so I haven’t gotten the full sense on what it is or how to describe it. A perceptual shift of sorts perhaps.

Got a nap in. But I don’t have the workout drive today. Feeling rather lethargic. Will have to force myself to get moving.

Maybe I’ll just go for a Genesis AOHJ/Love Bomb custom. Since it seems I still have some things to work out. Summertime could wait until next summer I suppose.

In a bit of bind really. I have 6 cycles with GLM left, ideally. Running Regeneration would also be most beneficial. Yet I would like to run some LB and was hoping to add some seduction in the mix for summer. At that rate, I might have to just switch to Primal over GLM for 6 cycles. And then I could do regeneration alongside it. But that could also be quite healing for me as well. But necessary.

Although LB/Primal might be ideal for 6 cycles. So many choices. Still want some True Sell eventually. Got some updated titles coming also.

Then there’s the idea of Primal and Rich for 6 cycles. I haven’t ever ran a money title since my first year maybe after finding sub club. I used Ascended Mogul for a bit. And since I was already having people problems, for, in my perspective, simply existing, I found the dominance and status increase just increased the dislike from the haters. So I didn’t continue. I will say I found that nothing was going to work. I ended up being someone who now walks away at first sign of that type of envy, hate, unwanted attention. I think it’s like dating, I wasn’t living up to my potential. I never wanted to be a boss or any of that stuff. Yet, circumstances almost force me into being in a higher position just so I don’t have to put up with the haters, or least get them to save it for when I’m not around. Yet I found a lot of the higher ups aren’t even great people either, lol. So yea, I wanna do sales, but yea, gotta have that right inner circle and environment it seems. So probably an entrepreneur of sorts is ideal for me. I’m my own boss and yea, the people I gotta deal with would not be the general herd pop.

My algo was all about people not liking you type stuff. So at first I watched a few vids. Then I started to scroll past it. Then I got this idea that all the haters and jealous types, they’re actually just pushing you out. So you’re gonna end up where you need to be anyway. Which is what they thought they were preventing by trying to bring you down. Because if you leave because you realize that’s no way to live life. You eventually will go towards those places where you are welcome and where you want to be. So you’ll end up rising to where the haters thought they were gonna keep you from anyway.

Me, I never wanted to a boss or be famous. But I can see how eventually you run out of options. So you gotta go in that direction anyway. But for me it was just about being happy. I didn’t like the conflict and the shittiness of people and the inauthenticity. So I decided I want to find this happiness that the masters and sages speak of. Found out it wasn’t compatible with the world. I still think I’ll get back to the world, not sure what that looks like yet. But I know there are good people out there. And I’ll be happy with my life either way, without the haters.

Once again I didn’t do the main workout. I have been doing the daily cardio as I build up to at least 20 mins of zone 2 per day. I backed the resistance setting on the bike down a few notches today because my legs were sore. So I still got my 10 mins of zone 2. Was actually a little tricky to keep it up there at times because I had to maintain a much faster rev rate. I’ll get there.

Just gonna have to do something about these main workouts for the back and knee pain prevention. lol. No pains yet but I’ve been off about 2-3 weeks from main workouts. Gonna have to bring them back in soon. Was planning today to be when I get back on board with full workouts.

The day actually flew by. But I gotta remember I’m getting daily naps and on a 30 day caffeine break. So I can’t expect that things are gonna go smooth all the time.

[ABC333]

Day 11: No listening

Have been mulling over what I want to do as far as a stack. I guess I have to keep GLM to hit that 12 cycle mark. It’s that important to me to build that foundation.

Then I have 1 slot open. If I make a custom that would be something I’d want to lock in on and keep in the stack. I’m still thinking about what’s best rather than what I want. In that case I think I want Love Bomb on board, but I also want some seduction. I could do Love Bomb/SSX and focus on building those skills and adding True Sell module finally. Lean it towards potentially making some more income.

A Love Bomb Rich custom with seduction modules might be ideal. I want to get back to Primal after GLM. But there will also be a new Ascension and Ascension might be more well rounded.

Also I was thinking a WDB/Summertime name embed if that’s possible. lol.

Just putting it out on paper maybe it’ll help clear things up for me.

In my feels a bit today. Haven’t had that get after it drive. Gonna workout anyway. Probably just cardio and mobility. Will aim to hit some foundation training for the back/core.

I also got some clarity on my path forward. I go one or two cycles of Genesis AOHJ and then I’ll move back to Primal. Because in the future we got so many things coming down the pipe, as far as updates. I will just have to get my Primal time in now, and it will just continue to build those foundations. I think that’s still necessary work for me.

Seems like my one heart palpitation at times, is indigestion. It’s not bad but a slight thing there. Sadly I’m on my own there in the american health care system. I can’t afford like a naturopath or alternative care. So for now it’s just stick to smaller meals and take digestive enzymes with my biggest meal of the day. Paragon will probably assist me with solutions in time.

But I’m still sticking to 30 days off caffeine and pre-workout.

Got derailed by surprise company so I haven’t gotten my workout in. Just ate dinner and so now, it’s up in the air if I’ll get anything more than cardio in tonight. That’s what I get for once again not going for it as soon as I wake up.

Lol. I seem to be encountering some resistance. I kinda expected Genesis AOHJ to be a walk in the park. However I’m sure I have beliefs and traumas around being happy. It’s probably tied in with those old people problems. I felt like when I started the inner work and went within, got happy and found that life was amazing. That, it wasn’t well received by others, especially at work places. So money could be tied in here too.

GLM still seems to be a recon free title for me. I guess I naturally am already aligned with much of it. All the bs I’ve had to go through with people, got me tapped into my inner stoicism I guess. Had to persevere regardless and became a bit of a hermit and loner.

Another title that seems natural for me is Spartan Apex. It’s even attractive. I just gotta get over some of those emotional blockages like anxiety, the guilt,fear,shame stuff. On Apex I still had one guy that seemed jealous or something of me. So that still comes to mind, thanks to previous junk.

So maybe happiness comes first. Seek yea first, the kingdom within or something. Fulfillment…

End of night:

Seems like I get my solutions at work. Some get them in the shower or driving etc.

My solution is that I gotta do a name embedded Love Bomb with Beyond Seduction Synergy module. I gotta stick with LB for 12 cycles. That’s the plan. With the synergy it will give me enough extra to where I’m not getting FOMO with other titles. I think for me that’s the foundational I’m after.

[ABC333]

Day 12: 30s Paragon

Once again on paragon day, i forgot it’s a listening day.

I am feeling some ever so slight happy today. It’s really natural tho which is good. Like a quiet happy in the background.

So I may rethink needing to start LB right away. For me being happy will benefit everything. I’ll wanna talk to the ladies maybe even feel ready to test out a normal job again.

It’s day 11 no caffeine and it’s the first day I wanna slam some pre-workout. I got the cardio and mobility done to start the day.

Hopefully my EAA’s + hydration arrive today. It’s just amino acids and some electrolytes that is for drinking during workout. I think I miss having the sweet flavored drink for a workout mostly.

After getting a taste of some Primal bloom, it was very subtle. But really has me wishing I had a spot for it yet. With Genesis AOHJ, that would really help bring it out. It probably is a booster for whatever titles a person runs. So yea, maybe I would consider a GLM/Summertime custom. Finish up the 6 months of GLM on that and just add those modules that would keep me busy. Then I could just yea, ride out that 6 cycles of GLM on a custom. Ideally though I’d have Primal in because it’s going to be real tough when the titles get updated. I only want one Alpha title in my stack. The other would either be a happiness title or Love Bomb. lol. Yea I can see I need to finish out my main workout now. It’s getting late.

Love Bomb seems like it’s the foundation I want. But I won’t do a custom of it because I gotta get to Primal again. So yea, Genesis AOHJ could get the custom with LB treatment from me. Then I’d have to skip over Summertime for this year. Which I think I’d be okay with.

Love Bomb would come first before a seduction title if I’m being honest with myself. But with a custom I can sneak in a couple seduction modules.

[ABC333]

Day 13: No listening

Looks like I did miss my Paragon day! I took two days off.

Actually it may be an accounting error. But I threw my cycle off by one day it appears. It should be a GLM/Genesis AOHJ day.

A little cranky today. Had to run some errands. Feel ready for a nap. I went to a store and I got to this deli area. And I’m pretty sure I had a monitoring spirit type. Been awhile since I had one of those. When I noticed him he looked away and moved away. He was already locked on to me and that’s why I noticed him. I just pretended I didn’t notice. Sort of the grey rock method. But I needed something right by him. So I walked over there and he kept moving away type thing. Unfortunately there are a couple places I don’t ever go because of that type of thing. Especially where they’re blatant about it.

Then I was walking away and he may have been talking to his co-worker about me. That’s what they always do. But I didn’t pay any attention. I got no time for that type of bs. That’s some of that unwanted attention.

Saw one fiiiiine woman with a great ass when I walked in the store. She was looking at phones or something. So there was no reason for me to go there or interact.

That’s where I miss Primal. It brought a little respect to any attention I got. It’s kind of a thing where I’d like to work on the inner with LB, but then if I gotta be around people Primal is still good type thing.

Then there’s the more seducer side of me, who feels more of that possibility. But then it’d put me around people more, and then I’d want that extra respect or any negative attention remover in the mix.

Still feel a little off around people. I have that past conditioning from a lot of unwanted attention type stuff. But I bounce back pretty quickly. That’s also why I’m planning on 12 cycles of GLM, to hopefully neutralize and drain the life outta that type of unwanted attention stuff. Regeneration would be good, but I think I’ll just go with a taste of happiness for the summer.

Yea I really threw myself off with my listening day error. But if I listened yesterday then today is definitely a day off.

I find it a bit odd that I had no problem with no caffeine until I’m just about to hit the 14 day mark. I would really love to slam some pre-workout or least have a caffeinated soda. They say the first say 72 hours are the worst. But for me the urge came back the last two days. After the point where my body should be fully detoxed from caffeine.

Got a long nap in today. Then I had to eat dinner. So I missed out on cardio and mobility today. Will do the superman holds for that back work though, then then the traction contraption then bed after work.

So these monitoring spirit types are no good. It leaves me feeling violated. I can just show up. Today I was literally just blended in, nobody was noticing me. Until the deli worker guy locked on to me. They seem to try to ruin a person’s reputation. If you’ve heard of the spotlight effect, they always say that’s all in your head. Well the monitoring spirit types make that real. They focus on you and then they get everyone else to shine the spotlight on you. Literally for just existing. Had that at my last two normal jobs where I had to be around people.

I used to think it was the empath/narcissist dynamic. But today I found this thing on Jung. He had some lady who was just unlocked and could read all the patterns. Feel other people’s emotions. I forget what it’s called. But it’s kind of that thing. She wasn’t able to fit into normal social norms because just her presence blew it all apart. People couldn’t hide their shadows and stuff like that. So she couldn’t have a normal job either. I can’t find the term but I can find a video it’s called The Danger of Seeing What Others Don’t. That describes that thing. I guess I’ll have to read it.

For me it seems all I can do is to stay away from those violator people. If you’ve ever heard of the spotlight effect. It’s where you feel like people are watching you and talking about you. Well the violator people make that real. If you have to spend time around those types they make it day in and day out so you’re under a spotlight and they make sure it grows by talking to other people about you. Meanwhile, you’re just existing. Doing your job. Don’t even have to be talking or anything.

I guess they also call that type of thing workplace mobbing. It seems too many people have dealt with that type of thing. Unfortunately there are no laws to protect people from that yet. It doesn’t fit the regular discrimination codes. Even though it is a type of psychological warfare, where the person on the receiving end is usually by themselves. It’s like one of those means where one person is alone standing there and everyone is pointing fingers at that person type thing. I’ve tried to talk to HR on my last two jobs about it. The first HR just wanted to make excuses and reframe it as me just taking it wrong, oh just ignore it type stuff. Maybe this or that. The second job the HR lady had a husband who identified as an empath so I felt she was more understanding of the situation. But she was kind of la la land, oh I don’t have that gift and whatever. lol. But the workers just covered their asses and were like oh he’s a good guy blah blah. Meanwhile they kept me under the spotlight, ruining my reputation and I already had anxiety so it was no good.

I came to the conclusion that yea, all I can do is avoid those types of people. It can destroy a person, and lead to a breakdown. I also found that my goal is just to basically be enlightened. At least to the point where I no longer have an inner voice and just live from presence. That way they have nothing to “feed” on. But that’s also why I’m sticking with GLM for 12 cycles minimum before I try something else. Ideally I’d have LB and Regeneration on board. But yea that kind of nonsense got me into hermit mode and even when I feel “normal” again like I used to be. Had friends and people weren’t as shitty, at least in my world. But it also seems we’re in a world of egos and conflict, and if you’re not with us you’re against us kinda stuff.

There’s a video that explains the Jung thing called, The Dangers of Seeing What Others Don’t. I’ll have to watch that and probably research Carl Jung’s take on it for some insights.

“The person who sees clearly gets blamed for the problems they are merely observing.”

Earlier when I woke up from a nap. It was an interesting dream. I dreamt I moved in with my dad, and my half brother and sister. Not sure why or from where. But then they were coming home so I decided to leave. I got in my car and it was a cool car. I’ve never owned a really cool car but I loved every car I had in real life. Then I was driving off and I woke up. lol.

I was thinking about my stack a bit at work again. It seems that all the stuff I just wrote about as far as people problems. Leads me back to Emperor: The Will To Power. Not that I want to have power over others or be dominant. I just want to be me really. But it seems I get targeted at times by these violator types. So that would have me wanting to do some TWTP. Now we also have The Art of War.

Then there’s also the idea that I’d try GLM: The Commander. Out of necessity. Yet I want to try Ascension and new Chosen of course. lol.

But Ideally I’d be on a happiness title, a seduction title, and the love bombs. Then for what I always wanted would be true sell and maybe a wealth title. For now it looks like I may not ever get to some titles. So I really have to dial it down and be honest with my self as to what is the most essential title for now.

Just skimmed through the Art of War copy. That looks like the one I need.

[ABC333]

Day 14: 30s G&G

I’m feeling some of that slight happy today.

However, I can’t say how the future will go. But if there are still violators out there, those people who treat people like crap and have zero self-awareness. Okay with doing things to others that they themselves wouldn’t tolerate… I agree with free will but at the same time generally, I still see people as people having the free will to be shitty. There’s still a lot of that. For those of us who do have good hearts, unfortunately it seems we have to take on strategies to power up and shield up to just be in the world. So I don’t agree with free will when it’s used to hurt, and harm, and ostracize others who have good intentions and mind their own business.

Therefore, my new plan is to hop on Emperor: The Art of War next cycle. I think it will be great with GLM. Plus it even has that minimal romance scripting. As much as I was anticipating a happy summer, I still going to have to nip the people problems in the bud, strategies at least to minimize as much as possible and let those destroyers destroy themselves, in a sense.

I broke my caffeine break yesterday. I was at the store looking for this rootbeer that is sugar free. It also is caffeine free. But they didn’t have any. So I started looking at what they did have and saw the sugar free Dr. Pepper cream soda. not even thinking that it had caffeine. I drank one at work yesterday. Only like 45mg of caffeine I think. So not too much of a big deal. I’ll have to remember that though. I’ll just save them for next month.

Art of War also has light fun scripting and light romance scripting. I think it will be better for me than Primal for now. Then when I get back to Primal, Primal will be more effective for me. I’ve always been kind of a strategist, probably due to the anxiety habit. But it also seems like people report it might hit deep. So I’ll just have to test it out for myself. Seems like an inner game title, and without the seduction stuff from Primal, it might actually be better prep for Primal, for me.

That will also pave the way for a future run of The Will To Power. It’s really interesting that thanks to Primal, I feel like my seduction potential is unlocked a bit. Yet the hold back is the other people nonsense. Like those people who just zero in on me and I’m the problem in their mind. I feel like that’s a big blocker. Hence, my decision to jump on the Emperor: The Art of war.

My Survival Instinct, Spartan custom was all about the defense. All the modules, fearsome, fenrir, etc.

So I think I may have to name embed either GLM or The Art of War with Limiting People Remover, instead of the fun stuff I had been planning. Unfortunately.

I was just at the store again. No problems at all. People didn’t notice me or anyone who did was friendly. I even saw a guy when I was leaving. He was walking out and I got the sense that he’s one of those cool guys. Like if we worked together we’d be buddies. I almost was gonna chat with him, but old conditioning held me back. In the past whenever I’d feel good and wanna talk to somebody, not trying to get anything. They wouldn’t react kindly. But it’s also one of those things where you gotta trust your instincts. The past was just learning. Like when I said hi to that women the other day in passing, and then got the experience like we already knew each other. haha.

Also still craving the pre-workout today. I got my intra-workout EAA’s + Hydration so we’ll see how that goes. It’s time to hit that cardio!

Lol. I’m wanting to get back on a seduction title. The Art of War looks good for some of that inner game touch ups. So I think I’m still gonna try it out. Maybe the minimal romance and fun scripting will be enough for now.

Feeling a little sappy now. Like I miss having a connection. Even my online friends have dropped off again lately. So there’s no livestream friends or anything around. And I’m not very motivated for my inner letting go work or meditating. I was on a kick like a month ago. Non-stop, now I’ve gotten back into a bit of a lull.

lol. Once again, I just chalk it up to lulls or downtimes to all part of the process.

It’s seems that it’s always gone that way for me. You have some highs, some lows. The good stuff becomes normalized. Then more lows. But clarity always comes after the lows.

I’m going to finish this cycle on the 21 day cycle. Then I’ll put that thought into working with the new recommendations. So it looks like you count each listening day until you reach 30 listening days, not counting off days. Then that’s a full cycle before the 5-8 day washout.

[ABC333]

Day 15: No listening

Not sure how I’m able to keep looking better physically. My workouts the last two weeks, I don’t think I even did anything but cardio and mobility. Been off caffeine for 2 weeks. But I look like I’m in the gym. Getting toned up. It’s wild.

If you asked me I would have told you that my assumption is that I have to work out everyday and nail the diet to be looking better and better all the time. I actually have done that for many years. But now that I’ve dialed it back and am just hitting the bare minimum, even take 2 days off keto every other week. And have been feeling like I’m not gonna make any progress, and I’m making progress. I’ve also been getting daily naps, more rest lately. So perhaps I’ve needed to catch up on my rest and now my body can do what it needs to do or something.

I’m not doing any resistance training at all. So why I should be toning up doesn’t make sense. I guess you could say the band work as part of mobility, is actually more effective than I realize. Even though it’s low reps. I just am mindful and take it slow to activate the muscles. Maybe those women who use the light weights and do work that to me wouldn’t get results, are on to something. lol.

I don’t think I know what recon is. I have ups and down. But if that’s recon then that means I’m forever stuck at 30 second loops. So for me, I think I’d have to start increasing listening times and just noticing what comes up. Then when I hit recon I’ll know for sure I guess.

I’ve stayed at 30 seconds because it’s been a stressful time at home. I didn’t want to risk recon.

I got the idea that I want to name embed The Art of War, with, of course, one of the seduction synergy modules. I really should be planning to do RICH, but nope. Because I never sowed my oats and passed up all my opportunities when I was younger, because I only wanted that one woman. I didn’t have wisdom back then. I thought there was that true love thing. But now I see it almost is strategy when dealing with women or people. But I still believe in the needle in the haystack, you just meet people who you genuinely connect with. I don’t count on that idea, which is why I am going to The Art of War. Also probably need TWTP also.

I also just found my favorite people book. I wish I’d had it from the get go. It kind of puts things into basic ideas and stories, and even exercises and examples. So it’s useable. How To Win Friends and Influence People is great, but you still gotta apply it to your situation. I think this new job (weird typo, I meant to say book. I will leave it to see if anything plays out) I found just does a better job. (Nevermind, I think I got what happened, lol. job-job)Even explains some things I was doing naturally, and so it gives me a clearer focus an direction. It’s a great book for dealing with those neutral to good people. Doesn’t cover how to deal with the toxic types though. Basically it says you gotta ask yourself do you really need to deal with those types of people? Uhh, no. Okay, there you go. That’s the conclusion I came to. Yet when a person feels they gotta avoid certain places because of those types, yea. Probably just my assumption right? hehe. That’s where The Art of War and TWTP come in for me though. I tended to find that say when you have all the skills and tools and experience to handle those problem situations, well they don’t tend to show up anymore. But that’s just my map of the world. I can’t say what works for me and my experience will work for you.

I’m gonna even take a look at Emperor Black. Have a gander through the thread. I ran that bad boy when it first came out. I only did a couple cycles. But it could hold me over until after I get my taxes paid. Budget is tight until then. I’m not sure being happy is what I wanna do yet, lol. Those past bad experiences of how other people react to that. Or walking around being filled with love. That was prolly worse for me. lol. Wild how that is. Makes me think maybe I don’t want the people hassles. That’s what got me considering Emperor Black now. It was like to be happy, to live in love, to be free, that’s not tolerated by people. So kinda do gotta hermit mode, which is cool with me now that I think about it. I found the days I’m kind of miserable, people respond better to me. So I’d rather be happy to be honest.

Although I will say I had some good experiences on my LBFH/DRLD custom. It was just a little tough to run because it was so healing. That’s one I gotta run at microloops. I’ll consider that one again. I just wished I would’ve gone with LB as the core though. LBFH had the line about shielding from toxic or negativity or something like that so I went with that one.

I guess I glossed over the spiritual component to Emperor Black when it was on my radar. I could see it as a time to take a complete social media break for a 2 month-new cycle recommendation. Work out, read, study, no social media, since my online friends are on hiatus apparently.

If I lived alone I’d be looking at a Emperor Black, Phoenix retreat right about now. But can’t take the risk with that ride for now.

Yea, it’s the perfect time for me to do an Emperor Black run after this cycle. I dont have out of town family showing up until the summer. So I can take a month or two with Emperor Black and integrate some shadow and go into hunker down mode with inner work, studying, working out. Since once again I’m staring into a social abyss, at least with the people I used to know. I feel like it’s a great excuse for some inner spring cleaning. I never would have thought of taking this route. But money is tight and will hold off on a new purchase for another month.

Yea, after going through a bit of the EB thread. I think this is gonna be a good title for me. I don’t think I had proper expectations my first time around. I was still coming out of that people problem mode last time I tried it. So I was working through some intense feelings at times. Just wanting to have my solitude but not being able to. Things are much calmer now and I think EB is going to be a treat this time around.

[ABC333]

Day 16: 30s Paragon

This cycle is the first one where I’m not locked on to when it’s listening day or not. I was kind of surprised that it’s a listening day. Luckily my journaling keeps me on track.

Yea, I think Emperor Black will really gel with me. Not sure I’d want to run it longer than 2 cycles, but may come back to it when I can. I could have been using this one every year but I completely forgot about it.

I think 2 cycles EB and follow up with the Summertime title, that would be great. Lock in for 2 months and then just be happy. I’ll have the status and dominance on tap so as not to feel like I’ll have to be concerned with people problems.

lol. That’s the thing about locking in for 12 cycles. It limits the possibilities. GLM is my foundational, Paragon just stays, because health is number 1. But yea I’d love to do some LB and Emperor Black. But I gotta stay locked in with GLM. I think it’s too foundational for me. But GLM and EB will be a powerhouse of masculinity.

I think I’ll always have that urge to get some sort of LB in the mix though. I’ll probably have more clarity after some time with EB. I’d like to do new Summertime, obviously.

But for now I guess I’ll just focus on locking in to my workouts and doing that inner work and staying away from the social media.

I just feel like I’m in the right place for a quick couple months of EB. I guess I’m not even sure what my goal was for my first test of EB. Probably just to be left alone, lol.

[ABC333]

Day 17: No listening

I seem to have gotten my creative spark back. I think that relates to happiness for me. Could be the skills scripting working for me. It’s not walking around feeling in bliss and happiness.

Being creative helps me feel fun and happy. When I’m my most fun and best yea, it’s a lot of creativity, spontaneity. It doesn’t fit nicely into a box, so with box people that’s probably where some aversion comes in.

As far as trying to have a “normal” job where people have lost their true happiness and traded it for the work hard and get a job stuff. Do all those things that you’re “supposed” to do. And definitely don’t be happy about it. Because happiness is complaining and entertaining misery with others. If you’re happy, well you’re interrupting that. That’s just my experience of work life.

This chick I added on fb 2 years ago. Knew her from school days. A hot chick I tried to chat her up but she had a bf. So I haven’t reached out for two years. Well in the last week she kept coming to mind for some reason. Last night I posted a photo of something I saw. She liked it. Hadn’t ever gotten a like from her. Interesting.

Yea I’m not really into this chick. But it keeps popping into mind. I was into her and at one time it seemed like a mutual attraction. But if it keeps up I would still give her a shot. I think my mindset is just be more open to women who are interested, just never know. If it’s a fit it’s a fit, if not, oh well. I still seem to have the thing where I like a woman and then the attraction just wanes and isn’t there anymore. So I guess I’d like some right people manifestation boost.

Now I’m thinking maybe I just get back on Primal. I can still lock in and keep chugging away at the healing and foundation building.

1 cycle of Genesis AOHJ seems like a good case for rut busting. It can unlock whatever makes you happy. Since it’s skills based it will probably get you back in touch with some things that you always enjoyed but just fell off on. Like they always say you should do what you’ve always been drawn to naturally. Those type of things.

I’m really ready to mix up some pre-workout today. lol. I might do a 4 weeks on 2 weeks off cycle with the caffeine and pre-workout from here on out. Just so I don’t rely on it and feel like I need it. That could coincide with my workouts. Lock in for a month, hit every workout, then 2 weeks to back it off and more rest if I need it.

Yea, I’m good with a 2 week caffeine/pre-workout break. I’m gonna mix that pre up. Today day 1! Goal is just to be hitting the main workouts again. For this first month. Rebuild the habit.

Okay I do like this chick. So what I use it for is inner work guidance. Okay, that’s what’s coming up. That’s what work with. No confirmation is she’s single yet. So I’m just going to take the passive approach. Which means leave it alone. lol.

Yea, back to Primal. I could see a potential switcharoo between Primal and Genesis AOHJ/Summertime. I feel like Genesis AOHJ helps unlock more of Primal and I’m sure Summertime will do the same. Plus keeps me out of the rut.

I have GLM and Paragon as the immovable fortresses in my stack. Primal or a happiness title will be my stack until I’m done with the 12 months of GLM.

Pre-workout was nice. A little bit of feel good. Cardio done. I do want to do full big workouts but I’ll keep myself to just the basics. This is still foundation work. Since I have weeks off again besides cardio and mobility.

I also like the idea of picking those one or two kettlebell moves for a minimalist workout. That would keep me on track on those days I run out of time, or feel like I need a rest day. Would just keep it light, and do a set and call it good.

But the main focus is the core and what I call knee workouts. Since those were pain spots for me.

I’m also noticing how journaling helps to dump whatever is in the mind. Freeing up space. I didn’t realize I had so much thought.

Which also brings me to the idea that I want to try the writing module that’s part of the True Sell Dragon’s Tongue set. Since I do like to write and be fun and creative in that way. Journaling is more free flow. So it’s more train of thought instead of like inspiration sourced fun posts. I think I’d be more of a marketer than a salesman per se. Just on what I’m naturally good at. I don’t have the sale experience since I tend to avoid people. lol. I did have a short stint at a call center one time. But again, unwanted attention crept in and dang, had to make an exit. So cubicle world would not be a good fit for me. Too much distraction.

I guess it’s worth it to do 2 cycles with Genesis AOHJ. I think it’s brought up some blockers at times. Earlier I was almost sad. No real stories with it. Then the sense of possibility there but I could tell it was tied in with some blocks. So yea, getting some healing I guess.

I think I’m also having some bloom from Primal. Still some healing coming up around those areas as well. So yea, I’ll stick with Genesis AOHJ just to clear some more out and tap into the happiness some more. It was connections and other stuff. So it will probably be great. Just gotta spend some more time with it.

Phoenix looks enticing as well. I could try it for one cycle. 15s for sure if I were to. Reading the objectives it looks right up my alley. Although Regeneration is the gentler route it seems. Which is probably more appropriate for me. That’s why I backed off Emperor Black, I’m not sure how it would go. I think smoother and fits right in with how I am anyway I think. I could use a boost in locking in yet. lol. Still have a little over a week to make up my mind.

The positive reports from Phoenix have me thinking I might do it for one cycle. I’m sure I could benefit and 15s shouldn’t be too much. I have wanted to try it in the past. Just don’t want too much disruption.

[ABC333]

Day 18: 1m GLM & Genesis AOHJ

I think GOHJ is working on stuff due to my dreams. Nothing intense, no nightmares. Just seems to be at work on some things.

Today, also feeling good on the surface but underneath it’s like there still that old stuff to work through.

I’m also feeling like yea Phoenix is more what I’m after right now. In terms of cleaning up.

I thought GOHJ would be easy title. But it still seems I’m always working on things yet. Today I’m feeling like yea, might as well give Phoenix a go.

That’s also the benefit of knowing which titles have no recon. For me, so far I’d say GLM, and maybe Spartan. Yet to me those aren’t too exciting or fun titles. They’re not seduction titles or more social titles. But maybe that’s why there’s no recon for me. Maybe the LB titles would be no recon titles for me. I haven’t used them in so long I don’t remember.

Yep, I’m gonna pull out Phoenix. I bought it the first day it came out. But never used it.

I was able to squeak out my workout last night. Finally did the knees over toes workout. Hit all my reps quite easily. So now it’s just a matter of staying consistent again. Plus I got to see that if I wait until before bed, then I tend to stay awake instead of fall asleep right away. So that’s a reason to do it early if I can. Then I can use the later hours for inner work or reading.

I did get a pleasant sensation in my head after upping my listening time to 1 min. So I guess my mind liked the extra input.

I took my guitar out of the case today. Just to mess around for a few mins. I think I figured out a song that I’d heard before. I wasn’t trying but the rhythm was in my head. It’s not like a song that I’d think to learn, more like some older pop song. Just felt like I could maybe do this thing. Still had my dexterity despite not even practicing or picking it up since before the holidays. Then after I was done I saw a video of some guy playing live, it was definitely the style and sound I tend towards naturally. Just on the acoustic.

Also picked up a brand new guitar with brand new gator soft bag. The bag still had tags on it. Used I would expect them to ask $40 just for the bag. The guitar was just a $155( new) guitar, that’s basically brand new too. It was the same area I bought my $150 steamer for $30 that was only used once. lol. I think I found a honey hole. I may have to hit up the rummage sales in that area come summer. Wealthier neighborhood who can buy something, use it once and basically give it away. I feel pretty lucky.

To me this is the kind of surprise I’d expect from Treasure Finder module. Maybe I gotta become a reseller.

It’s kind of funny because I’d been watching a lot of Hardcore Pawn video clips. But I started tapping not interested. Because it wasn’t making me feel good. Lots of drama and these guys low ball people who bring stuff in so much. So I was like no, I don’t want to watch that anymore.

But then I find in my real life that there are rich people who do things differently. They’ll take pawn shop prices for brand new items because they can just list it and somebody will show up to their door and take it off their hands.

Whereas if you deal with the more middle class people, they price higher and they’ll always come down $5 or whatever. But the wealthier people are just like, already priced low so you’d feel bad offering them less. lol.It’s already the best deal.