ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#61

Non-listening day: 2 listening days left this cycle.

Today I’m feeling lighter and freer. It still seems to be the tide effect. A low day followed by a higher day. I think this is the best I’ve been feeling this week and it’s still morning for me. If the pattern holds, there could be a lower period at some point in the day.

Time to get my workout in first thing to start the day. Then take it easy until my work tonight. I switched up my schedule so my toughest day is today this week. But I won’t skip my scheduled workout either.

Afternoon update: I’m recalling yesterday when I was driving around. I don’t think there was a single woman who would look me in the eye yesterday. I wasn’t feeling particularly good anyway. Ascension Chamber may have had me wiped out possibly. Could have been KB 1, resources were at work behind the scenes still making corrections.

First cycle of CWON hasn’t had amazing outward manifestations yet. But for what I’m looking for at this time it fits the bill. More focused on the inner game anyway. Then I’ll probably switch up to SSX or Heartsong even CFW for more work.

So I kind of got clearer on what I want in a CWON custom. I’d consider will to power as a core but since CWON is already so good with the positive. I’d just add manipulus, the anti manipulation module. I also want some of the safety stuff from Survival Instinct but I don’t think I need it. I’d just add Safety Net module and You Are Not Alone module. I also want some of that fierceness to channel into action on my physical training and other goals. I don’t know what modules but that was in Spartan. Also of course I’d want the module that supposed to give you stamina or something. I’d probably want the fat burner module for some physical shifting. Then of course the seduction aspect. I’d probably end up going with SSX for the second core.

I have my CWON SSX custom ready to roll. I’ll wait another cycle. Either way we’ll be closer to having updated CWON. My SI/Spartan custom I had built right before the new Spartan core came out. So it still has the old core and I never got it updated. So I would like to avoid that situation with a new custom.

Night update: Today at work it was a great first half. At some point I felt like I was naked, not physically but more I dunno sense of self or something. I’m not really attached to CWON at this point. Initially, I’d decided to just bring on CFW for some more healing. But then I realized I guess I’m ready for Phoenix now. I don’t really want to add another archetype. So it just kind of makes sense that now is the time for Phoenix. Could be recon, but I’m also more interested in freeing myself up rather than adding anything. So it’s the perfect time for Phoenix which I plant to start on next cycle.

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#62

Today, listening day. 5 mins KB 1, 15 mins of CWON.

I’m feeling pretty good. Haven’t listened yet. I will get some nature time today.

So I think it was just one of those lows yesterday, now we’re back to a bit of that happy.

I still think it’s the right time to tackle Phoenix. I just plan to be very conservative with it. Start at 30 sec and increase listening time by 30 seconds each listen. Last day before washout I might try out a 15 minute loop.

So 1 more listening day after this and I start my 5 day washout.

Maybe I’ll go extremely conservative. Keep CWON and start KB 2 but keep Phoenix to 30 seconds and only on its own day. That’s a great trio in my book.

End of night update:

Work was good. I’m kind of thinking I’ll do 15 mins KB 2 next cycle, on its own day. Then I’ll just simplify the matter. I’ll keep CWON to five minutes and I’ll add 5 mins of CFW to continue with some form of healing. Since they’re complimentary titles it’ll just be smoother than say going to Phoenix. I still want to hold off on Heartsong as well.

I listened to CWON out in nature today. Still no outward nature manifestations yet. But the animals aren’t out quite yet anyway. No interaction with any animals and I haven’t seen any. In the past I’ve had some cool experiences with animals where you can feel their energy and they can probably feel yours at least your intent so they don’t get scared, but this is my first CWON run.

There is a cute new cashier at one of my regular spots. I wanted to like her but was neutral the first time I saw her. But I just made sure to have good eye contact. I kinda forgot about her and saw her again today. She seemed really warm to me. I’d even say on that love spectrum. I asked for a receipt and she said of course, but it was just the way she said it. Like definitely in the lovey/warm spectrum. Definitely a positive experience. She’s definitely on the feminine spectrum and a possible connection brewing. I didn’t chat her up or anything yet. I’ll ask her her name next time I see her. lol slow roll it to gauge the chemistry, let it build a little.

So I will just keep riding the Chosen path for awhile to see where things take me.

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#63

Day 20 of this cycle of KB 1 and CWON.

I will be moving to stage 2 of KB 1 next cycle. I’m keeping CWON. And now I’m thinking Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer. It has the newest tech, at least it was one of the first updated in the new batch of updates, if I remember correctly.

I also will only run 5 minutes of it alongside KB 2. CWON will get its own day. That way I keep KB as my main focus and I also get to keep going with CWON. I think CWON is a masterful title in itself and is almost healing in its own way already. It is also a great enhancer for many of my natural inclinations anyway.

I’ve already run some DRLD in the past. So I think paired with KB 2 is really the right move. I think it will aid in enhancing KB as well as CWON rather than being too intense which I suspect might be the case with Phoenix. I’ve already had some rough moments and I think it was surprisingly CWON working through some things. So I’ll just keep the focus tight and hold off on CFW.

#64

Day 21 last day of this listening cycle. 15 mins KB 1, 5 mins CWON.

I’ve had a pretty big appetite this month. So I’m not sure if that’s some effect of KB or what. I started the month getting back to keto but I’ve been off again. I think a cycle or two more and CWON will start shifting things in terms of eating what’s healthier for my body. But for now the appetite has won out. It could also be that I shifted to more explosive type physical training. It probably has a greater energy demand. Definitely gets my heartbeat and breathing up more than pure strength training.

I’ve also noticed some of those love vibes coming back. Previously I was on LBFH/DRLD custom. Like a few times I’ve gotten some of that lovey attention from people. But generally I’m still under the radar which is what I’ve been most comfortable with anyway. So I’m going at a nice pace, nothing too drastic in terms of reality shifting.

I have been feeling tired. So I’m possibly going to take a 10 day break instead of the standard 5. 10 seems to be a good number for me. Okay since it’s the 20th, I’ll start back up on the 1st. That’s the plan. 29 days this month so that’s 9 days off.

Also I’m feeling more of an inner desire to get into action rather than spend my time letting go and being more relaxed. Not sure on what direction to use the energy yet. So I’ll probably end up reading and working out. I also am consciously using less time to do mindless social media scrolling. So that hopefully will go more in to study/reading/learning.

Evening update: I ended up taking a 90 minute nap this evening instead of starting my workout. When I got up I had some time dilation effect, probably just a side effect of getting some extra needed sleep. I did my laundry. Then I was going to procrastinate on a shower. I ended up getting my guitar practice in. I checked my watch and very little time had passed, like less than I thought. So I got my shower in also and now I’m going to get my Tuesday workout in. I haven’t even been rushing around and on many days it’s like time flies by and I really haven’t done much.

I just extracted Khan Black stage 2. Feels good man. I’m looking forward to starting on the 1st.

#65

First day of my 9 day break.

I had so many dreams bits and pieces that I remember last night. So I’m guessing there was lots of processing. Kind of like a little breakthrough perhaps. I started sleeping only 8 hours lately and not being able to get back to sleep. So we’ll see if the nap trend continues.

Afternoon update:

I was out for a little bit today. But I sat in the car and waited because I’m tired. I like more sleep than 8 hours since I started my stack.

I was feeling the sexual vibes today, more of that primal vibe I’d say. But I’m not on Primal. It’s still KB 1 and CWON. Noticed a few cranky people, like hardened probably by life types, but when they came out and walked by me again they seemed to have lightened up.

I also had a more active mind so more processing and changes happening under the surface. I mean a little anxiety and wasn’t completely in that calm, positive place but still was able to remain relaxed.

End of night update: Possible keto flu setting in. Back to it after a long break again. I might have to do my workouts in 3 week cycles, maybe 4 as my body adjusts and needs recovery. My work load is such that 3-4 week spurts of good workouts, with hopefully a week to back off is looking to be most sustainable.

Also since the new Sanguine just came out. I have to put it in my stack instead of DRLD. For me I have no choice in the matter. Sanguine has been considered my favorite all time sub and with the advancements I think this is going to be the best version yet. I definitely could still use what it does in my life and it certainly wins out because it’s the least likely to cause recon. I am looking forward to a good run with Sanguine.

#66

Day 2 of listening break.

Woke up feeling great. 9 hours of sleep. I got my physical energy and vigor back after a few days of low energy.

I was tempted to run Sanguine and KB 2 only, but CWON is too good for me to give up. So I’m planning to listen to only 3 mins of Sanguine and CWON on their own day. 15 mins of KB 2 on its own day.

Sanguine has the mind and relaxation and all the other goodies. But I think CWON brings some of the physical/movement aspects and that positive aura and just rounds things out for me. Also I love healing I think at times it is necessary. But it’s nice to have a breather and I think that’s what this stack will be. Still will be healing in its own way, kind of as a side effect of the relaxation and positivity and emotional regulation.

#67

Day 3 listening break. 7 hours of sleep. Still active on bits and pieces of dreams that I remember.

I think I’ve been noticing possible bloom from my LBFH/DRLD custom. I had Love Without Attachment module. I noticed I don’t get as attached as much since trying out SSX, but I also think that module has a play in that. Not attracted to women who aren’t good for me anymore and not attached to the ones I do like. So I definitely look forward to time with SSX again. But Sanguine might spend a long time in my stack.

DRLD wasn’t the best second title in that custom because I also added a few of the love healing modules. So it wasn’t something I was running for 15 min. loops.

LBFH/SSX is what would have been a killer custom.

I do feel like I’ve learned a lot from my past titles. I can see now how they added certain things to my life and so that’s always good.

I’m looking forward to that Sanguine though. I can definitely work through a lot of things with that in the mix.

I could see a Sanguine/CWON custom in my future since I plan to run them for at least 6 months. After that I’d want an LBFH/SSX custom, or another Love Bomb depending on how the updates go.

Still requires some patience though. For now I think this is the perfect stack for me plus I seem to still get some blooms from past titles, enough to keep me on track with this stack. KB 2, Sanguine,CWON for the next 2 cycles.

#68

End of night update: Had a good day at work. Was nice to be out of the slump I’ve been in this week, tired and just not having much fun.

I think since I cleared up whatever anger block the other day, it freed me up. I’d say right now I’m feeling a little frustrated if anything, but a positive frustration where it would just get channeled into action if I needed it.

Today at work a few things happened and I was I guess angry for like a second but it didn’t stick around. It was like instantly turned into realizing it’s no big deal and I just kept on in a pretty good positive mood.

So I like the emotional regulation stuff in CWON. Also I think KB is having my other energy circulating better now too. So I’m definitely ready for KB 2.

#69

Day 4 no listening. I am planning to go the full 10 days off this time. I’m feeling a little tired yet. I took the day off from work and exercise. I was hoping my new plan was more sustainable but it seems that’s the way it’s gone. About 3-4 weeks then I just need a week to back off the exercise and come back strong. I could probably sync up my listening cycles with my exercise routine if I really wanted to. 3 weeks on and then take an off week.

Instead of cutting into my 10 day break. My plan is to alternate 15 mins on Sanguine and CWON. So one day it’ll be 15 mins of one title and 3 mins of the other.

I’ll keep KB 2 at 15 mins all the time.

#70

Day 5 listening break.

Still getting occasional insights. Sometimes I get memories of old situations come up. Makes me glad to be on CWON now. I’m really about the emotional regulation stuff, and keeping negativity at bay. I think the New Sanguine will enhance this and so will KB.

I think CWON would have been the best title to run with my SI/Spartan custom.

End of night update. Another night of work BS. I get more work and I don’t get paid for it. So I’m just going to charge them extra from now on. An extra hour of work I should get paid for that, it’s hard work and extra work is just miserable especially without pay.

Early in the night I had an insight into this anger stuff again. I’ve been watching clips and stories of Michael Jordan. So I’ve kind of been taking on that mentality. Say he had a bad first half and someone talks trash to him, he maybe won’t talk back but he’ll just give you that look and flip the switch. Your night is over. You’ll have no points the rest of the game and he’ll drop 40 on you even if he had 12 in the first half. But I don’t work for 48 minutes, it’s a couple hours. So towards the end of my night it wore off but I soldiered through it. Anger doesn’t interrupt my flow where it’s destructive, it just kind of drives me to tap into that extra flow.

When I was younger I never said much and when people who didn’t know me would doubt me. I’d just do whatever they thought I couldn’t, and I’d do it effortlessly. I wouldn’t try harder because I knew what I could do and their words only made me more sure of my abilities which they knew nothing of. Somewhere along the way I guess I kind of forgot about that and let life and the bs from people overwhelm me.

#71

Day 6 of listening break.

Last night was a crazy night of dreams. I don’t know how many dreams I woke up from. At least two of them were dreams that I literally thought were real. Like I woke up and of course I knew it was a dream but it was like I was actually there. They were nightmares. So things are definitely getting worked on yet, working on those emotions.

Afternoon update: I was out and about for a couple hours. I just waited in the car though. I had a few women trying to catch my eye. Got a smile and eye contact from a cute lady. Another one was at the gas station, she noticed me and she just kept trying to catch my eye. Another lady wasn’t even looking at me but I noticed her and she gave that reaction like when you’re caught checking someone out, she was with her man. I was not in a good mood, kinda crabby and tired. So I think probably some CWON influence as well. Last time I had a cranky day I was still getting this great attention from others.

I think it’s the KB starting to bloom. I plan on 10 days of no listening but I’m sure there’s something to these longer washouts/breaks that others report. Especially with the new updated titles.

End of night update: After 6 days part me thinks it’s good to start up the new cycle. I’d like to start on an even day though.

#72

Day 7 listening break.

Long nap this evening. This feeling of wanting to do something but not knowing what still comes up. Just now I realized it’s kind of optimistic now. So CWON is working.

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#73

Day 8 listening break.

I’m back to feeling like DRLD is the right move. With KB 2 and CWON already brings positivity and mental fortitude and helps with being free from negativity from others. Plus it has positivity and emotional regulation.

So once again I’m back to really considering DRLD to help remove those limiting beliefs and leveling up with KB 2 and CWON.

Evening update: I skimmed through the DRLD thread. So I’m almost thinking I shouldn’t take on more. It wasn’t completely smooth sailing on KB 1, and CWON. So even though I want to blast through some limitations. I already am and the pace I’m at is manageable. So I just might move to the next cycle with KB 2 and CWON. I should probably give CWON another cycle to do its thing and KB 2 will be the new title.

End of night update: It’s back to Sanguine. If it helps with fatigue that’s what I need rather than something that could cause temporary fatigue and procrastination. I gotta go back to Sanguine. Sanguine wins this round. At work I realized I want a title that gives me energy right now and I’m already on that, KB, and adding DRLD I don’t want to deal with temp recon and procrastination for now. I’ll just get back to feeling good first with Sanguine.

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#74

Day 9 listening break.

Just got back from the errand run. I’m feeling pretty optimistic, positive, and resilient. No outward manifestations.

Kinda thinking I will do the once a week DRLD plan. The rest of the time it’ll just be KB 2 and CWON. I don’t want more down days but I think DRLD is worth it. At least worth a run for the next cycle. If it’s too much I can always jump on the New Sanguine next cycle.

I’ve gotten my best outward people manifestations when I was in a bad mood. The only 2 people who really noticed me today weren’t high vibing. The first one was a lady who I wouldn’t be surprised if she was into like voodoo, she just had that style and vibe. The next place I went a guy who was like solid, put up a steel wall to life kind of guy, I was feeling light and he was like the opposite, solid and like heavy. We made eye contact I thought maybe he was someone I knew but he didn’t even crack a smile or lighten up and there was gonna be no greeting, so I just kept on my way. But I felt like I could just stay in that positive CWON vibe and not be affected or caught up. They both made eye contact with me, the only ones and that’s why I noticed them. Yea, neither one of them lightened up in the typical pleasantry kind of way. They just stayed in their mode and vibe.

But I saw this hot blonde when I was in my car leaving. She was in the short shorts, nice and tan. Great body. I felt no insecurity and I felt like I was on that level. She didn’t have any aversion to me, but no opportunity to talk and she looked like she was in a hurry, just running in to grab something and go.

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#75

Day 10 last day of my break.

I’ve been having some health anxiety. No health issues and recently had the full work up and am healthy. So I’ve always had my eye on paragon for a future run.

The old heartbreak situation still comes up. I’d say it’s manageable. I even had an insight a few days ago and got a new way for me to work with it. It’s almost just flipping it, when it comes up and I feel bad, I release the emotional charge and then immediately focus on the having of my desired reality.

I still plan to run DRLD once a week this cycle. I’ll start with it tomorrow. I think it would probably help me get past my two main sources of junk now- the health anxiety and getting over an ex.

I still don’t have money worries or anxieties. Very rarely. It’s just not something I have a drive fore yet intellectually I think it would really help open life up for me. I could travel, make a dating life easier, etc.

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#76

Day 1 of new cycle.

I kicked it off with 15 mins of DRLD.

A few hours later: I’ve already had some of the past come up into awareness. A few instances of memories, things I’d forgotten about. No major charges there and it was easy to let them drop away. It’s kind of like a dream in that I can’t really remember what those memories or thoughts were now.

Evening update: I took a long nap this afternoon. I only slept like 7 hours. So I probably made up about 3 more hours of sleep. I woke up and did my wim hof breathing session. I felt like there was more space in my stomach area. Like maybe some energy blockages have been freed up or something. So my first loop of DRLD could have assisted whatever KB 1 was doing already.

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#77

Day 2 of new cycle. Non-listening day.

I haven’t slept last night. I took probably a three hour nap in the evening, then I drank the caffeine at 7:30 pm. I was on a 30 day washout of caffeine and with the nap, I was not gonna sleep last night. I’m still feeling good though. Maybe will need a nap tomorrow again if I don’t get to sleep 8 hours today.

Random memories still occasionally popping up of situations in the past. So many examples of I can’t believe that I would put up with that or that people would behave like that towards me. The charges seem to have dissipated though, so those thoughts quickly dissolve or fade away.

I wish I’d had CWON years ago. I think it would’ve been the best title for me. I had the occasional hater but really rarely. It kind of started when I got in touch with my own inner light some might call it. Like I got happy but the world got worse and then the crab bucket kind of came to life. CWON for me is almost like my sword and shield, to borrow a phrase from Survival Instinct copy. Like it lets me just be and keeps the negativity at bay.

Say somebody doesn’t like me, well they’re keeping it to themselves lately. The ones who do talk are talking to me and it’s neutral if not positive. I have had some who I’d call friends, who I accept as they are, but they’re still a bit judgy and not together at times. But then they have moments where they have good advice. But I’m also more like, yea I don’t need to waste my time on things that don’t feel good, and that’s okay now.

Like say someone I know is being snippy and implying that I’m too much. That’s fine with me, I was procrastinating by hanging out with them anyway. So I’ll do the things I want and it all works out. Like I like to have friends to have fun, relax and feel good, but that thing comes up where that inner light can be triggering. Someone can just be there and not even be doing anything yet some gets triggered. That’s the kind of thing I used to deal with big time. I just saw it a couple days ago with someone I called a friend. But I’ll be taking a break from them for awhile. I was procrastinating on stuff anyway.

That reminds me. A few cycles back with other titles I was wanting friends and all that. That was probably influenced by some of those social type healing modules in my custom.

The one I was hoping for something else was from code of loyalty. I was hoping to find the loyal people. But now I don’t care anymore. I probably need the Treasure Finder module to go with it. :smiley: Maybe it did work because I’m not as loyal anymore and kind of changed how I approach people. I have to go with less empathy to bring myself more into balance.

I also had the umm Pride Unbroken module. So that was about healing from being ghosted and people leaving you, that kind of stuff. I would say I feel like that’s more of how i feel now. I’m fine as is, if I meet the right people, great. If not, that’s great too!

So far DRLD seems like it’s gonna be okay. I don’t think I’ll be able to properly asses it since I was up all night. Like normally the next day might be processing it. But so far DRLD looks like a good fit, especially at 1x per week. I think it will be fairly smooth for me.

#78

Day 3. Listening day. 15 mins KB 2, 5 mins CWON in the am.

I only got 6-7 hours of sleep last night, surprisingly. I’m kind of expecting a nap to hit me later on. Especially since it’s a listening day. Feeling pretty good though despite being on 10 hours of sleep in the last 2 days. That is not my norm.

I better get my light mobility workout in now just in case that nap comes on in a few hours.

I already got some of that CWON pleasant goodness from my 3 min loop of it.

evening update: after listening to all three titles in my stack I think it’s gonna be doable. I mean I won’t have too much recon. I definitely had some old stuff stirred up at times, I think that is DRLD influence. Just stuff that I used to deal with all day and it’s just a reminder that I have come a long way in these past few years.

Yesterday I was also considering that I could rotate my SI/Spartan custom back in and out with CWON in the future. Maybe after 4 cycles of CWON.

Also I’m kind of planning to run Primal with my second round of KB, after I finish a couple cycles of KB 4. Primal and Limitless Executive is what I’m thinking. But of course a lot can change by then.

Also I plan to run Phoenix at 1x per week when it’s time. I don’t know if I want to alternate with DRLD every cycle but something I’m considering.

Also I’ll have to fit the New Sanguine in there somewhere. But I think I’m happy with CWON and that update is probably coming in the next few months I’d guess.

#79

Day 4. Non Listening day.

Got 9 hours of sleep finally. Feeling like I’d like to be sleeping some more.

Did a few errands today. It seems that the attention is picking up again. I actually woke up feeling pretty good. Not in the mood to be around people but I was drawing some attention. So I think things will be picking up with KB 2.

#80

Day 5. 5 mins KB 2, 15 mins CWON.

For the rest of KB I’m going to stick to a 2 title stack. I will keep DRLD in support mode, which is just 1 listen per week.

I’m considering Love Bomb the regular version now. I thought LBFH was the ticket, but regular LB seems like what I was really after. So it will probably get the support mode stack at some point. I will try my best to do 2 cycles of DRLD then 2 cycles of Phoenix in support mode first.