ABC333 Khan Black

Journals - Major Programs
#75

Day 10 last day of my break.

I’ve been having some health anxiety. No health issues and recently had the full work up and am healthy. So I’ve always had my eye on paragon for a future run.

The old heartbreak situation still comes up. I’d say it’s manageable. I even had an insight a few days ago and got a new way for me to work with it. It’s almost just flipping it, when it comes up and I feel bad, I release the emotional charge and then immediately focus on the having of my desired reality.

I still plan to run DRLD once a week this cycle. I’ll start with it tomorrow. I think it would probably help me get past my two main sources of junk now- the health anxiety and getting over an ex.

I still don’t have money worries or anxieties. Very rarely. It’s just not something I have a drive fore yet intellectually I think it would really help open life up for me. I could travel, make a dating life easier, etc.

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#76

Day 1 of new cycle.

I kicked it off with 15 mins of DRLD.

A few hours later: I’ve already had some of the past come up into awareness. A few instances of memories, things I’d forgotten about. No major charges there and it was easy to let them drop away. It’s kind of like a dream in that I can’t really remember what those memories or thoughts were now.

Evening update: I took a long nap this afternoon. I only slept like 7 hours. So I probably made up about 3 more hours of sleep. I woke up and did my wim hof breathing session. I felt like there was more space in my stomach area. Like maybe some energy blockages have been freed up or something. So my first loop of DRLD could have assisted whatever KB 1 was doing already.

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#77

Day 2 of new cycle. Non-listening day.

I haven’t slept last night. I took probably a three hour nap in the evening, then I drank the caffeine at 7:30 pm. I was on a 30 day washout of caffeine and with the nap, I was not gonna sleep last night. I’m still feeling good though. Maybe will need a nap tomorrow again if I don’t get to sleep 8 hours today.

Random memories still occasionally popping up of situations in the past. So many examples of I can’t believe that I would put up with that or that people would behave like that towards me. The charges seem to have dissipated though, so those thoughts quickly dissolve or fade away.

I wish I’d had CWON years ago. I think it would’ve been the best title for me. I had the occasional hater but really rarely. It kind of started when I got in touch with my own inner light some might call it. Like I got happy but the world got worse and then the crab bucket kind of came to life. CWON for me is almost like my sword and shield, to borrow a phrase from Survival Instinct copy. Like it lets me just be and keeps the negativity at bay.

Say somebody doesn’t like me, well they’re keeping it to themselves lately. The ones who do talk are talking to me and it’s neutral if not positive. I have had some who I’d call friends, who I accept as they are, but they’re still a bit judgy and not together at times. But then they have moments where they have good advice. But I’m also more like, yea I don’t need to waste my time on things that don’t feel good, and that’s okay now.

Like say someone I know is being snippy and implying that I’m too much. That’s fine with me, I was procrastinating by hanging out with them anyway. So I’ll do the things I want and it all works out. Like I like to have friends to have fun, relax and feel good, but that thing comes up where that inner light can be triggering. Someone can just be there and not even be doing anything yet some gets triggered. That’s the kind of thing I used to deal with big time. I just saw it a couple days ago with someone I called a friend. But I’ll be taking a break from them for awhile. I was procrastinating on stuff anyway.

That reminds me. A few cycles back with other titles I was wanting friends and all that. That was probably influenced by some of those social type healing modules in my custom.

The one I was hoping for something else was from code of loyalty. I was hoping to find the loyal people. But now I don’t care anymore. I probably need the Treasure Finder module to go with it. :smiley: Maybe it did work because I’m not as loyal anymore and kind of changed how I approach people. I have to go with less empathy to bring myself more into balance.

I also had the umm Pride Unbroken module. So that was about healing from being ghosted and people leaving you, that kind of stuff. I would say I feel like that’s more of how i feel now. I’m fine as is, if I meet the right people, great. If not, that’s great too!

So far DRLD seems like it’s gonna be okay. I don’t think I’ll be able to properly asses it since I was up all night. Like normally the next day might be processing it. But so far DRLD looks like a good fit, especially at 1x per week. I think it will be fairly smooth for me.

#78

Day 3. Listening day. 15 mins KB 2, 5 mins CWON in the am.

I only got 6-7 hours of sleep last night, surprisingly. I’m kind of expecting a nap to hit me later on. Especially since it’s a listening day. Feeling pretty good though despite being on 10 hours of sleep in the last 2 days. That is not my norm.

I better get my light mobility workout in now just in case that nap comes on in a few hours.

I already got some of that CWON pleasant goodness from my 3 min loop of it.

evening update: after listening to all three titles in my stack I think it’s gonna be doable. I mean I won’t have too much recon. I definitely had some old stuff stirred up at times, I think that is DRLD influence. Just stuff that I used to deal with all day and it’s just a reminder that I have come a long way in these past few years.

Yesterday I was also considering that I could rotate my SI/Spartan custom back in and out with CWON in the future. Maybe after 4 cycles of CWON.

Also I’m kind of planning to run Primal with my second round of KB, after I finish a couple cycles of KB 4. Primal and Limitless Executive is what I’m thinking. But of course a lot can change by then.

Also I plan to run Phoenix at 1x per week when it’s time. I don’t know if I want to alternate with DRLD every cycle but something I’m considering.

Also I’ll have to fit the New Sanguine in there somewhere. But I think I’m happy with CWON and that update is probably coming in the next few months I’d guess.

#79

Day 4. Non Listening day.

Got 9 hours of sleep finally. Feeling like I’d like to be sleeping some more.

Did a few errands today. It seems that the attention is picking up again. I actually woke up feeling pretty good. Not in the mood to be around people but I was drawing some attention. So I think things will be picking up with KB 2.

#80

Day 5. 5 mins KB 2, 15 mins CWON.

For the rest of KB I’m going to stick to a 2 title stack. I will keep DRLD in support mode, which is just 1 listen per week.

I’m considering Love Bomb the regular version now. I thought LBFH was the ticket, but regular LB seems like what I was really after. So it will probably get the support mode stack at some point. I will try my best to do 2 cycles of DRLD then 2 cycles of Phoenix in support mode first.

#81

Day 6 non-listening day.

I really like this support slot idea. That’s where I have one title that I only listen to 1x per week by itself. The rest of the time it’s my other 2 titles.

That would let me bring my LBFH/DRLD custom back on board. I think it would definitely work in the support slot. I’ll plan to finish my current cycle as is though. Next cycle I’ll do the custom. I just wish it was the updated Love Bomb now. But it’s still a good one.

I was a little tired today, got to sleep later than usual and woke up earlier than usual. So I wasn’t in the best mood. So it probably would have been a great day to be around people for some of those outward manifestations. It just occurred to me that maybe when I’m not feeling my best internally that makes me seem more approachable and or human to other people. That CWON/KB aura still working but yea it seems like when I’m feeling good internally, maybe that intimidates people in a way, though I’m not really after those external manifestations really. I just want to feel good and grounded and myself.

#82

Day 7 15 mins KB 2 and 5 mins CWON.

Had to do a few errands today. Got a full night of sleep again. Have some feeling working through now.

No noticeable outward results, it seems to be internal healing focus today. The only thing I noticed was nobody really noticed me and one guy was intimidated. Monday is my 1x weekly loop of DRLD. So far I really like having the 1x per week slot. It makes me look forward to getting through Phoenix that way for a cycle or two.

#83

Day 8 non-listening day.

Tomorrow is my DRLD loop actually. I feel like the last couple of days I got into some healing so I’m definitely ready for the weekly loop. I do think it’s the process of the junk coming up and you get to look at it and face it so you can be free of it. Not fun, but it’s temporary.

One element I wish I had in the mix is some kind of physical recovery from workouts and hard work days. My one week back off of working out turned into more like two weeks and now I’m having to deal with soreness and aches of getting back with the program. So hopefully today starts my 3-4 week cycle of good work outs before I gotta pull back for a week or two again.

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#84

Day 9 15 mins DRLD.

Last night I was trying to go to sleep and I had this sense of more openness or spaciousness in my body, mostly stomach area. So more energy must have been released and/or freed up again.

It could be DRLD that has me procrastinating my workouts again. I was really pumped for my next round of good workouts but I haven’t been getting them in. Yesterday I waited too long and ran out of time. Today I’m at the wire again, where if I don’t work out now I probably won’t get it in. I’d expect a breakthrough at some point and I’ll get back to normal with working out, I’m just tired again. Stayed up late, lost an hour thanks to daylight savings time and woke up early today.

end of night update: There’s a lady who I follow online. She knows who I am and always said hi to me. She lives states away. I haven’t really been watching her for awhile now. But I saw she had a post and left a comment. She responded, I didn’t expect her to. But she definitely remembers me and I was kind of surprised. She gets snippy when people call her pretty and stuff but she lets me say that stuff if I want lol.

She’s a business woman I’d say. I’m just kind of blown away because we vibing and she’s hot. She could even teach me how to make money online and that’s one of the things she does. So I’m not trying to get too excited about it but it’s just interesting. Maybe the tides are finally turning and I might be getting into that meeting the right people reality finally.

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#85

Day 10, no listening.

I got a full 9 hours of sleep. Stayed up way later than usual though. So I was a bit crabby today.

I’d say DRLD had me in a darker mood. Even though I don’t use the term, I’d say it was shadow work. Just some of the shadow side making an appearance so I can move past those limits.

I was reminded last night that it’s just a matter of doing my workout and not worrying about whether I want to or not. I feel a little better afterwards. So I still need to just get into action instead of giving in to the procrastination.

I have a more complete idea of what I want for my next custom. I want to do a CWON/LB custom. Just have to wait until both titles are updated. I think that’s the title I always needed. For me it’s less social than I’d like, I like the social stuff from regular Chosen. But this custom would be more focused on me building my inner foundation where I could just be me and also keep the negativity from others and even myself away.

End of night update: I have been getting out of my comfort zone a little bit. I always go to the same places around the same time. But sometimes I’ll switch things up and get stuff if I need it instead of putting it off. I know sometimes I’d get resistance if I put things off and I might not get it done. So there’s more of just doing it now.

I see that I could benefit greatly from the New Sanguine but I’m planning to keep the same stack until I finish out my first round of KB. I’d like to get max benefit from my titles before I switch. Plus I can see I still have more to gain from sticking with it and I also get nice surprises every now and then already.

#86

Day 11- 15 mins KB 2, 4 mins CWON.

Halfway point. Nothing major to report. I’ve been in bed all day resting. I haven’t gotten back on schedule since the time change. Staying up later and sleeping later, then tired during the day until I go to work at night.

Evening update: The new Love Bomb reports are pretty good. Makes me excitedly anticipating the New CWON. It’s probably going to be great.

I’ll hold the course, as I want to let DRLD do more work. Hopefully in the next 2 cycles the CWON will be updated.

#87

Day 12- no listening today.

Woke up early for an appt. Feeling good but I’d expect and afternoon/evening crash. But it will help me get back on the new DST schedule.

I’ve come up with a work around for getting my workout routine back on track. I was planning to do 5 days a week but I haven’t been very consistent. I might skip the next workout because I don’t know whether to do the workout I skipped or do the one I planned. So I’ll just do them both on the same day. So 3 days a week workout non negotiable.

Oh I forgot to mention last night I was doing some releasing. I’ve been really going at it again. Not all the time just whenever I become aware again, like oh I realize I’m entertaining the unwanted feelings or thoughts. I was laying in bed releasing before sleep and I don’t know how to describe it but I was having a transcendental experience, nothing major but it was just nice and an “oh yea” moment. I kinda forgot about that kind of thing.

Evening update:

I went to the store today. I got around a corner and right there as soon as I came around there were these two guys. Low energy types. In the past I would have been knocked off my frame, I forgot about that. That’s one reason why I only went to places at certain times or days, when I knew it was least likely to encounter some of these types. In the past they’d start commenting about me and saying stuff.

But I was stayed steady, as soon as I saw them I felt that low vibe from both of them and wasn’t knocked off my vibe. I just looked away, like how if you get a sudden whiff of something off putting that you weren’t expecting. Just went on my way. I think my energy kind of neutralized their effect on me, they didn’t say anything. They just kind of looked at each other and stayed in their own bubble. I just kept on with my business and they quickly fell off my radar.

And again, everybody except these two noticed me. Anyone who saw me just kept on with whatever they were doing. Nothing out of the ordinary.

So CWON is a winner for what I’ve been looking for. I can’t wait for it to be updated.

#88

Day 12- 4 mins KB 2, 15 mins CWON.

15 mins of CWON is nice. I get those feel goods and just pleasant goodness. I’m thinking about just running it 15 mins all the time maybe.

I consider KB my stack MVP but CWON is a tie. I think I’m definitely settled on this stack until I finish KB. So that’s pretty much the whole year.

#89

Day 13- No listening.

Seems like since I hit the halfway point of this cycle time has slowed down for me. I couldn’t believe how fast the first half of the cycle went. Now it seems a bit more slow. Just perception.

So far it seems like CWON is what I was after with my Survival Instinct/Spartan custom. I just miss some of the physical recovery stuff to keep me on top of my fitness game.

Evening update: I’m really considering a custom. I’m thinking a New Love Bomb and New Sanguine custom.

I plan on running CWON and KB for awhile so that could be my other custom. I also think CWON has some crossover with Love Bomb and Sanguine and so I’d probably hold off until CWON is updated.

I also don’t want to give up on DRLD and would still like to finish my first round of KB as is. I’ve got one more cycle with KB 2 and so a total of 5 cycles left before I consider my first round of KB to be done.

Plus I think after I come off DRLD and Phoenix I’d want to go with Ascended Mogul or a test run with Stark Black. So if I look long term my only custom would have to be a CWON and something else. Long long term I’d consider a CWON/KB 4 custom. But that’s putting it off until next year.

End of night update:

I’ve had a couple things that could be called bad luck the past few days. They really don’t affect me. I don’t feed them with any energy or story. I just keep going on with my life. Even if I have a momentary upset I don’t buy into it and moments later I realize it’s not a big deal anyway. But had I bought into it would seemingly snowball, and so that’s nice.

Tonight I was thinking an alpha would be nice. But long term thinking tells me that once I get past my current stack, Ascended Mogul would be the one. It’ll probably be updated by then too.

#90

Day 14- 15 mins of KB 2, 15 mins of CWON.

I switched things up and decided to try out 15 mins all the time now. I like the CWON goodness. I also think the full 15 mins will give me the positivity and feel goods so I won’t get too caught in wanting to switch titles. I’m curious to see if this means I’m close to a breakthrough if I just stick to the stack.

I finally reached the point where I was really considering switching out DRLD with Primal. Primal is a big title so I’m not considering that as an option. If anything I’d go back to SSX. I still plan to test out my DRLD/LBFH custom next cycle at 1x a week, in the spot where I have DRLD now.

I feel like I could use some of those modules. I’ve got You Are Not Alone in there, I’d like to give that a chance to work. I could also use another round of Love Without Attachment Module. I’ve also got an alpha module Lion IV. It could be more healing with some of the modules, path of forgiveness. It’ll have enough variety to keep me on track and I can continue with DRLD.

#91

Day 15 no listening.

I’m actually going to seriously consider Spartan in my support slot (1x a week.) Fitness is important to me and lately getting back into the swing of things isn’t as smooth sailing as I thought it would be. Sleep hasn’t gotten back to normal so that’s also a consideration. I could use the recovery assistance and making sure my fitness stays on track.

I’m in my 40’s now and I want to stay on top of my fitness game for sure. So I might be changing direction a bit, though it’s always been my focus no matter what subliminals I use. I think it’s time for me to get back to having a title in my stack that supports it.

I have the old spartan in my SI/Spartan custom. I would like to use those modules again but I won’t update it until SI is also updated.

I won’t put Spartan in a CWON custom because CWON isn’t updated. And I really wanted to spend more time on DRLD, was planning to bring my LBFH/DRLD custom back. But for practicality sake Spartan is looking like the best choice.

Afternoon update: Still slightly at times in the mode of wanting to get there- maybe switch a title, not having an easy time deciding. What I’ve always done is stay put for at least 4 cycles on a stack before I make any changes. This current stack is something I want to stick with and maybe it’s just the point where I just need to examine what I really want again.

So I think I can just take the workouts slow and stay consistent. Even though I may not be able to do as much or go as fast as I want, consistency is the most important thing. Do what I can and not push too hard because especially when it comes to my fitness, I want to stay healthy and injury-free.

I probably will bring back my SI/Spartan custom, but save that for when I get to KB 3.

#92

Day 16- 15 mins DRLD.

I had a little bit of the wanting to switch titles and figure out which one. It’s passed now. 5 days left for this cycle. I will try out my LBFH/DRLD custom again starting next cycle at 1x per week in place of DRLD store title.

End of night update: Spent a lot of the day feeling depressed. That’s something that is extremely rare for me. Mayyyybe once a cycle, just for like a day I get that if I do. After putting in my work shift I do feel tired and I should be able to get to sleep at a decent hour tonight.

Earlier in the day I got an oil change and I had to wait like two hours. I had an interesting experience. There was this cute chick cashier. She didn’t seem into me at all, wouldn’t hold eye contact. I wasn’t in the mood to be social, just had to get my oil change over with. So I went for a little walk outside and just hung out outside because it was so busy.

So after like an hour she walked out and went on break. I just noticed her walk out to her car and forgot about it. But while she was walking I was thinking to myself she’s hot, and I just left it at that went back to seeing if I could get some of this nature bliss from CWON maybe. So after like a half hour I thought what was random thought I started just thinking about what it might be like if she was my girlfriend.

And I turned around and she was walking back from her break looking right at me. Not like close enough to start talking. But again I just went back to minding my own business, I just wanted to get back home and take a nap.

When I finally got in to pay after the line died down, I didn’t get her to check me out but she I felt like she was kind of I dunno smitten or something. I did not get to talk to her or anything it was just so busy and all I wanted was to get back home for a nap.

#93

Day 17 - No listening.

So far I feel really good again. Not the exact opposite of yesterday but close enough. I’m in the realm of bliss but I wouldn’t say I’m feeling bliss. So it’s still tracking that after a low there’s always a “high.”

I’m looking forward to mixing things up next cycle when I bring my LBFH/DRLD custom back on board, just 1x a week.

Still some wanting to plan what my next titles are and maybe a new custom. I still want to do Primal and the custom I’m leaning towards is CWON/Will To Power. I think Primal is more what I like to term, foundational, and the CWON/WTP is more building myself up to tackle the people world which will allow me to pursue my goals without getting sidetracked by any people games. I also wouldn’t want to give up Khan Black. And I still want to get back to SSX and Heartsong is always there.

Evening update: After reading through DRLD’s objectives again, I think DRLD is what’s behind my wanting to change titles. It’s those limits wanting to hold on because the longer I stay with DRLD the more likely it is that the limits will lose.

Also, reading through the DRLD sales copy again, it’s has all the benefits I’m already wanting! It’s like a booster of everything I like about CWON and it even says take breaks from this title if necessary. So that means I could squeeze in the New Love Bomb or the New Sanguine no problem!

#94

Day 18- 5 mins KB 2, 5 mins CWON.

Last night after work I had a near miss while driving home. So it made me want to add Survival Instinct back into my stack. But I also want to do SSX.

So the LBFH/DRLD custom wins out. I have one Safety Net module, though not as comprehensive as SI would be. I also have one seduction module, I forget the name. So I’ll just go with the custom. It adds in some elements and allows me to continue DRLD and bring LBFH on board. Also has a couple manifestation modules so I can manifest the harmony, safety or whatever I want.

Evening update: I feel like I’m starting to experience some pick up in terms of Khan Black. I’ve noticed increased instances where a woman I’m attracted to is also attracted to me. I still have some cleanups to do internally though so it tends to be a back and forth as to what title would be better, SSX or Heartsong. I’d like to do both but at this time KB and CWON are staying in my stack no matter what.