Now I’m kind of thinking it’s time to move to stage 2 of KB. I feel like I’m ready for the next step. That’ll be 2 cycles. Still have 1 week to go before washout.
I’m still going to bring SSX back on board next cycle. So that could mean 3 cycles per stage with a 3 title stack. That’s just my personal preference. But I plan to listen to 15 mins of KB every listen starting next cycle. So 2 cycles might be fine.
Non-listening day.
I was kind of getting bored with no fap or release. But since I’m 2 weeks in that keeps me going, not wanting to start over. Now I’m going to eat lunch and do some cleaning. So I guess it’s got transmuted into some action.
Feeling that vitality again. I guess that’s what that is. That urge to live and be alive kind of feeling.
afternoon update: I did some cleaningl Still feel like an urge to do something in the background. So it’s a workout day. I decided on Sat and Tues for my most intense sessions. Rather than 3 a week 2 fits better and gives me enough recovery time for Fri/Sat (sat not so much hard but both the longest days) my two hardest work days.
I was just reading through the ASBR thread and now was not 100% on bringing back SSX. But I will stay the course for the sake of experiment. I think what’s held me back from Heartsong is I don’t really want a relationship, I just want the healing and self love inner work aspects.
While I finish out my first run through of KB, I think keeping it light is best. SSX will keep things interesting while I work through KB and CWON.
I’m sitting here eating a bag of doritos. Not something I normally do but 1.99 price was too good to pass up these days. So I was thinking this isn’t even food! It’s an interesting experience but this is definitely not food. lol. So some CWON at work I suppose.
Listening day: 5 mins KB 1, 15 mins CWON.
Lost of dreams last night, at least that I remember. They say we always dream, we just don’t always remember them.
I might hold off on SSX. I have one more cycle with CWON to make it 2 cycles. I kind of want to look at long term so a run through Khan regular seems like a good idea. I still want the EOG, but Khan will probably be better for right now with KB. I’d like to completely knock out that anxiety and just get some of that grounded confidence and power of regular Khan.
Now I’m not so sure. A lot of what comes up for me is that struggle between wanting to have a great dating life and be great with women, then there’s always that practical side. I should go for a wealth title, then I’d have the money for the freedom I want. But I also do like the freedom I have now. I can do what I want. Making more money might get in the way of how I live now. Less time to workout and less free time, but long term thinking says that might only be temporary.
I’m sure CWON will actually help me with this. Getting into the flow more in terms of there are times of great effort then there are times of rest and fun and even maintenance.
Chosen is my favorite title but it didn’t necessarily have the wealth like an EOG. It also didn’t have the seduction. I also felt like I needed to tighten up my inner game. So I think Khan would be the best for that. TB would be good. So I’ll just ease up on it. I still have one more cycle to go with CWON, and I’ll be moving on to KB 2 I think.
So TB or even CFW is what I’m thinking to add in.
Alright so I think the plan moving forward is to stack CWON with CFW. So that’ll be the stack I ride out for the first run of KB.
Evening Update: Time to workout. Last night at work I had a slight moment of clumsy. I figured it out. It was due to it having been a plyo/power day. It’s new stimulus to my nervous system and so the last time I started out clumsy at work it was my first plyo/power day. It’s a new stimulus so the nervous system needs time to adapt and adjust to that new stimulus. I think that’s also what massive change does on a subconscious level sometimes, that’s why those moments of rubber band effect.
It’s kind of interesting to me that I already kind of see this listening cycle as over with. It’s just a matter of making the final decision on my next cycle. Only 3 listening days left so 6 days left. It looks like KB 2, CWON, and I’ll bring CFW back on board. To me that’s a low risk of recon being that I’ve already done CFW, but I can definitely benefit from more of whatever it does. It will also maximize CWON and I do plan to get back to regular Chosen in the future.
Phoenix I will save as a pre-run to Khan if I choose that route in the next run of KB.
End of night update:
I realized I’m still running away from Heartsong. I’m at the point again where I’d do Khan Total Breakdown if I had it. I’ve already done CFW, and a bunch of other stuff. KB 1 hasn’t eradicated this thing that keeps coming up. A bad breakup I haven’t gotten over. So based on what I own and what I haven’t tried yet is Heartsong. So I’m bs’ing myself and running away if I’m not just going to face the Heartsong next.
The last time I ran CFW it was right around the breakup. I then switched to Wanted and was reconning from it. Yet I just kept going until I got to my customs and stuck with those. Had a few healing modules but maybe the cores were not the right cores. Though I feel like it served me and took care of a lot of things.
Non listening day.
In the last week I’ve picked up my guitar and started up my practice routine again. Just a few minutes a day to get back into the swing of things. Today I’m actually having a desire to play. So that must be that creativity urge still going.
I finally applied for a couple jobs again. I could take on another part time job if the situation is right. So I’m feeling up to at least going on some interviews now.
Also been having some light bulb moments lately. It’ll just be like oh! I get it now.
One example is with my guitar practice. I never knew how to progress the basic finger exercises. But yesterday it just clicked for me and I knew what to do.
Evening update: I’m wanting to get back to Chosen. I’m resisting doing Heartsong so that’s all the more reason to do it. Healing comes first, then back to CFW, then Chosen.
I’d say even though it’s not a thing, I’m having pre-con to running Heartsong. There’s a sense that it’s a threat to my status quo, I know it is. So I’m not gung ho about it, yet it know it’s necessary. I’m sure I’ll have feelings to work through. Though with having a cycle of CWON under my belt, I think that will smooth out any rockiness.
Listening day 15 mins KB 1, 5 mins CWON. I did a cycle of Ascension Chamber.
Today I think I’m more settled again. I am not so set on adding a third title. I might just keep it to two titles. So as not to dilute anything. I’ll let CWON work its magic while I move on to stage 2 KB next cycle.
I might bring Ascension Chamber back full time though. I haven’t run it for the last 2 cycles at all. I would only run it on Fridays.
Afternoon update: Despite feeling like I could use more sleep, a nap isn’t going to happen. Got 8 hours in last night. Now I’m feeling like I want to workout but since it’s my day off I’ll keep to the bare minimum light mobility.
I think if it were summer time I’d be out for a walk.
Evening update: I was wiped out today. Some muscle soreness kicked in from my workout 2 days ago. But tomorrow is the next workout. I couldn’t nap and I took the night off. So I’ll have my long day tomorrow. Even though it’s a workout day. I’m ready for that washout. Kinda wishing my month off caffeine and pre-workout was over. But I’m sure I’ll be feeling better tomorrow.
End of the night update: Felt good at work. Tiredness went away. I only did a half shift.
As I was working my mind drifted towards my workout program. I realized I kinda do miss my SI/Spartan custom. It had a certain level of fierceness that I liked when it came to motivating myself in my workouts. But that’s also the beauty of growing. I haven’t had any situations of unwanted bs directed at me in quite some time.
I remembered a situation from a past job where this bodybuilder dude had the ear of a shitty co-worker, the rumor kind of idiocy. He was neutral to me until I alpha’d his buddy or maybe the proper verbiage is that I beta’d him, he was kinda too dumb to get the message though, that was the co-worker of mine. I ended up leaving the job. Kind of place where everybody pretends and acts nice around the boss but they’re not so nice and if you’re not one of them, you’re not gonna have a fun time.
Then the next time he saw me he tried to intimidate me. It was like, look buddy I never had anything against you, this has nothing to do with you. But he was one of those guys who was better at playing the social game and had a better job, and I was just trying to be left alone. But now that my memory was jogged I have some motivation to call on for my new program.
Non-listening day: 2 listening days left this cycle.
Today I’m feeling lighter and freer. It still seems to be the tide effect. A low day followed by a higher day. I think this is the best I’ve been feeling this week and it’s still morning for me. If the pattern holds, there could be a lower period at some point in the day.
Time to get my workout in first thing to start the day. Then take it easy until my work tonight. I switched up my schedule so my toughest day is today this week. But I won’t skip my scheduled workout either.
Afternoon update: I’m recalling yesterday when I was driving around. I don’t think there was a single woman who would look me in the eye yesterday. I wasn’t feeling particularly good anyway. Ascension Chamber may have had me wiped out possibly. Could have been KB 1, resources were at work behind the scenes still making corrections.
First cycle of CWON hasn’t had amazing outward manifestations yet. But for what I’m looking for at this time it fits the bill. More focused on the inner game anyway. Then I’ll probably switch up to SSX or Heartsong even CFW for more work.
So I kind of got clearer on what I want in a CWON custom. I’d consider will to power as a core but since CWON is already so good with the positive. I’d just add manipulus, the anti manipulation module. I also want some of the safety stuff from Survival Instinct but I don’t think I need it. I’d just add Safety Net module and You Are Not Alone module. I also want some of that fierceness to channel into action on my physical training and other goals. I don’t know what modules but that was in Spartan. Also of course I’d want the module that supposed to give you stamina or something. I’d probably want the fat burner module for some physical shifting. Then of course the seduction aspect. I’d probably end up going with SSX for the second core.
I have my CWON SSX custom ready to roll. I’ll wait another cycle. Either way we’ll be closer to having updated CWON. My SI/Spartan custom I had built right before the new Spartan core came out. So it still has the old core and I never got it updated. So I would like to avoid that situation with a new custom.
Night update: Today at work it was a great first half. At some point I felt like I was naked, not physically but more I dunno sense of self or something. I’m not really attached to CWON at this point. Initially, I’d decided to just bring on CFW for some more healing. But then I realized I guess I’m ready for Phoenix now. I don’t really want to add another archetype. So it just kind of makes sense that now is the time for Phoenix. Could be recon, but I’m also more interested in freeing myself up rather than adding anything. So it’s the perfect time for Phoenix which I plant to start on next cycle.
Today, listening day. 5 mins KB 1, 15 mins of CWON.
I’m feeling pretty good. Haven’t listened yet. I will get some nature time today.
So I think it was just one of those lows yesterday, now we’re back to a bit of that happy.
I still think it’s the right time to tackle Phoenix. I just plan to be very conservative with it. Start at 30 sec and increase listening time by 30 seconds each listen. Last day before washout I might try out a 15 minute loop.
So 1 more listening day after this and I start my 5 day washout.
Maybe I’ll go extremely conservative. Keep CWON and start KB 2 but keep Phoenix to 30 seconds and only on its own day. That’s a great trio in my book.
End of night update:
Work was good. I’m kind of thinking I’ll do 15 mins KB 2 next cycle, on its own day. Then I’ll just simplify the matter. I’ll keep CWON to five minutes and I’ll add 5 mins of CFW to continue with some form of healing. Since they’re complimentary titles it’ll just be smoother than say going to Phoenix. I still want to hold off on Heartsong as well.
I listened to CWON out in nature today. Still no outward nature manifestations yet. But the animals aren’t out quite yet anyway. No interaction with any animals and I haven’t seen any. In the past I’ve had some cool experiences with animals where you can feel their energy and they can probably feel yours at least your intent so they don’t get scared, but this is my first CWON run.
There is a cute new cashier at one of my regular spots. I wanted to like her but was neutral the first time I saw her. But I just made sure to have good eye contact. I kinda forgot about her and saw her again today. She seemed really warm to me. I’d even say on that love spectrum. I asked for a receipt and she said of course, but it was just the way she said it. Like definitely in the lovey/warm spectrum. Definitely a positive experience. She’s definitely on the feminine spectrum and a possible connection brewing. I didn’t chat her up or anything yet. I’ll ask her her name next time I see her. lol slow roll it to gauge the chemistry, let it build a little.
So I will just keep riding the Chosen path for awhile to see where things take me.
Day 20 of this cycle of KB 1 and CWON.
I will be moving to stage 2 of KB 1 next cycle. I’m keeping CWON. And now I’m thinking Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer. It has the newest tech, at least it was one of the first updated in the new batch of updates, if I remember correctly.
I also will only run 5 minutes of it alongside KB 2. CWON will get its own day. That way I keep KB as my main focus and I also get to keep going with CWON. I think CWON is a masterful title in itself and is almost healing in its own way already. It is also a great enhancer for many of my natural inclinations anyway.
I’ve already run some DRLD in the past. So I think paired with KB 2 is really the right move. I think it will aid in enhancing KB as well as CWON rather than being too intense which I suspect might be the case with Phoenix. I’ve already had some rough moments and I think it was surprisingly CWON working through some things. So I’ll just keep the focus tight and hold off on CFW.
Day 21 last day of this listening cycle. 15 mins KB 1, 5 mins CWON.
I’ve had a pretty big appetite this month. So I’m not sure if that’s some effect of KB or what. I started the month getting back to keto but I’ve been off again. I think a cycle or two more and CWON will start shifting things in terms of eating what’s healthier for my body. But for now the appetite has won out. It could also be that I shifted to more explosive type physical training. It probably has a greater energy demand. Definitely gets my heartbeat and breathing up more than pure strength training.
I’ve also noticed some of those love vibes coming back. Previously I was on LBFH/DRLD custom. Like a few times I’ve gotten some of that lovey attention from people. But generally I’m still under the radar which is what I’ve been most comfortable with anyway. So I’m going at a nice pace, nothing too drastic in terms of reality shifting.
I have been feeling tired. So I’m possibly going to take a 10 day break instead of the standard 5. 10 seems to be a good number for me. Okay since it’s the 20th, I’ll start back up on the 1st. That’s the plan. 29 days this month so that’s 9 days off.
Also I’m feeling more of an inner desire to get into action rather than spend my time letting go and being more relaxed. Not sure on what direction to use the energy yet. So I’ll probably end up reading and working out. I also am consciously using less time to do mindless social media scrolling. So that hopefully will go more in to study/reading/learning.
Evening update: I ended up taking a 90 minute nap this evening instead of starting my workout. When I got up I had some time dilation effect, probably just a side effect of getting some extra needed sleep. I did my laundry. Then I was going to procrastinate on a shower. I ended up getting my guitar practice in. I checked my watch and very little time had passed, like less than I thought. So I got my shower in also and now I’m going to get my Tuesday workout in. I haven’t even been rushing around and on many days it’s like time flies by and I really haven’t done much.
I just extracted Khan Black stage 2. Feels good man. I’m looking forward to starting on the 1st.
First day of my 9 day break.
I had so many dreams bits and pieces that I remember last night. So I’m guessing there was lots of processing. Kind of like a little breakthrough perhaps. I started sleeping only 8 hours lately and not being able to get back to sleep. So we’ll see if the nap trend continues.
Afternoon update:
I was out for a little bit today. But I sat in the car and waited because I’m tired. I like more sleep than 8 hours since I started my stack.
I was feeling the sexual vibes today, more of that primal vibe I’d say. But I’m not on Primal. It’s still KB 1 and CWON. Noticed a few cranky people, like hardened probably by life types, but when they came out and walked by me again they seemed to have lightened up.
I also had a more active mind so more processing and changes happening under the surface. I mean a little anxiety and wasn’t completely in that calm, positive place but still was able to remain relaxed.
End of night update: Possible keto flu setting in. Back to it after a long break again. I might have to do my workouts in 3 week cycles, maybe 4 as my body adjusts and needs recovery. My work load is such that 3-4 week spurts of good workouts, with hopefully a week to back off is looking to be most sustainable.
Also since the new Sanguine just came out. I have to put it in my stack instead of DRLD. For me I have no choice in the matter. Sanguine has been considered my favorite all time sub and with the advancements I think this is going to be the best version yet. I definitely could still use what it does in my life and it certainly wins out because it’s the least likely to cause recon. I am looking forward to a good run with Sanguine.
Day 2 of listening break.
Woke up feeling great. 9 hours of sleep. I got my physical energy and vigor back after a few days of low energy.
I was tempted to run Sanguine and KB 2 only, but CWON is too good for me to give up. So I’m planning to listen to only 3 mins of Sanguine and CWON on their own day. 15 mins of KB 2 on its own day.
Sanguine has the mind and relaxation and all the other goodies. But I think CWON brings some of the physical/movement aspects and that positive aura and just rounds things out for me. Also I love healing I think at times it is necessary. But it’s nice to have a breather and I think that’s what this stack will be. Still will be healing in its own way, kind of as a side effect of the relaxation and positivity and emotional regulation.
Day 3 listening break. 7 hours of sleep. Still active on bits and pieces of dreams that I remember.
I think I’ve been noticing possible bloom from my LBFH/DRLD custom. I had Love Without Attachment module. I noticed I don’t get as attached as much since trying out SSX, but I also think that module has a play in that. Not attracted to women who aren’t good for me anymore and not attached to the ones I do like. So I definitely look forward to time with SSX again. But Sanguine might spend a long time in my stack.
DRLD wasn’t the best second title in that custom because I also added a few of the love healing modules. So it wasn’t something I was running for 15 min. loops.
LBFH/SSX is what would have been a killer custom.
I do feel like I’ve learned a lot from my past titles. I can see now how they added certain things to my life and so that’s always good.
I’m looking forward to that Sanguine though. I can definitely work through a lot of things with that in the mix.
I could see a Sanguine/CWON custom in my future since I plan to run them for at least 6 months. After that I’d want an LBFH/SSX custom, or another Love Bomb depending on how the updates go.
Still requires some patience though. For now I think this is the perfect stack for me plus I seem to still get some blooms from past titles, enough to keep me on track with this stack. KB 2, Sanguine,CWON for the next 2 cycles.
End of night update: Had a good day at work. Was nice to be out of the slump I’ve been in this week, tired and just not having much fun.
I think since I cleared up whatever anger block the other day, it freed me up. I’d say right now I’m feeling a little frustrated if anything, but a positive frustration where it would just get channeled into action if I needed it.
Today at work a few things happened and I was I guess angry for like a second but it didn’t stick around. It was like instantly turned into realizing it’s no big deal and I just kept on in a pretty good positive mood.
So I like the emotional regulation stuff in CWON. Also I think KB is having my other energy circulating better now too. So I’m definitely ready for KB 2.
Day 4 no listening. I am planning to go the full 10 days off this time. I’m feeling a little tired yet. I took the day off from work and exercise. I was hoping my new plan was more sustainable but it seems that’s the way it’s gone. About 3-4 weeks then I just need a week to back off the exercise and come back strong. I could probably sync up my listening cycles with my exercise routine if I really wanted to. 3 weeks on and then take an off week.
Instead of cutting into my 10 day break. My plan is to alternate 15 mins on Sanguine and CWON. So one day it’ll be 15 mins of one title and 3 mins of the other.
I’ll keep KB 2 at 15 mins all the time.
Day 5 listening break.
Still getting occasional insights. Sometimes I get memories of old situations come up. Makes me glad to be on CWON now. I’m really about the emotional regulation stuff, and keeping negativity at bay. I think the New Sanguine will enhance this and so will KB.
I think CWON would have been the best title to run with my SI/Spartan custom.
End of night update. Another night of work BS. I get more work and I don’t get paid for it. So I’m just going to charge them extra from now on. An extra hour of work I should get paid for that, it’s hard work and extra work is just miserable especially without pay.
Early in the night I had an insight into this anger stuff again. I’ve been watching clips and stories of Michael Jordan. So I’ve kind of been taking on that mentality. Say he had a bad first half and someone talks trash to him, he maybe won’t talk back but he’ll just give you that look and flip the switch. Your night is over. You’ll have no points the rest of the game and he’ll drop 40 on you even if he had 12 in the first half. But I don’t work for 48 minutes, it’s a couple hours. So towards the end of my night it wore off but I soldiered through it. Anger doesn’t interrupt my flow where it’s destructive, it just kind of drives me to tap into that extra flow.
When I was younger I never said much and when people who didn’t know me would doubt me. I’d just do whatever they thought I couldn’t, and I’d do it effortlessly. I wouldn’t try harder because I knew what I could do and their words only made me more sure of my abilities which they knew nothing of. Somewhere along the way I guess I kind of forgot about that and let life and the bs from people overwhelm me.
Day 6 of listening break.
Last night was a crazy night of dreams. I don’t know how many dreams I woke up from. At least two of them were dreams that I literally thought were real. Like I woke up and of course I knew it was a dream but it was like I was actually there. They were nightmares. So things are definitely getting worked on yet, working on those emotions.
Afternoon update: I was out and about for a couple hours. I just waited in the car though. I had a few women trying to catch my eye. Got a smile and eye contact from a cute lady. Another one was at the gas station, she noticed me and she just kept trying to catch my eye. Another lady wasn’t even looking at me but I noticed her and she gave that reaction like when you’re caught checking someone out, she was with her man. I was not in a good mood, kinda crabby and tired. So I think probably some CWON influence as well. Last time I had a cranky day I was still getting this great attention from others.
I think it’s the KB starting to bloom. I plan on 10 days of no listening but I’m sure there’s something to these longer washouts/breaks that others report. Especially with the new updated titles.
End of night update: After 6 days part me thinks it’s good to start up the new cycle. I’d like to start on an even day though.
Day 7 listening break.
Long nap this evening. This feeling of wanting to do something but not knowing what still comes up. Just now I realized it’s kind of optimistic now. So CWON is working.
Day 8 listening break.
I’m back to feeling like DRLD is the right move. With KB 2 and CWON already brings positivity and mental fortitude and helps with being free from negativity from others. Plus it has positivity and emotional regulation.
So once again I’m back to really considering DRLD to help remove those limiting beliefs and leveling up with KB 2 and CWON.
Evening update: I skimmed through the DRLD thread. So I’m almost thinking I shouldn’t take on more. It wasn’t completely smooth sailing on KB 1, and CWON. So even though I want to blast through some limitations. I already am and the pace I’m at is manageable. So I just might move to the next cycle with KB 2 and CWON. I should probably give CWON another cycle to do its thing and KB 2 will be the new title.
End of night update: It’s back to Sanguine. If it helps with fatigue that’s what I need rather than something that could cause temporary fatigue and procrastination. I gotta go back to Sanguine. Sanguine wins this round. At work I realized I want a title that gives me energy right now and I’m already on that, KB, and adding DRLD I don’t want to deal with temp recon and procrastination for now. I’ll just get back to feeling good first with Sanguine.
Day 9 listening break.
Just got back from the errand run. I’m feeling pretty optimistic, positive, and resilient. No outward manifestations.
Kinda thinking I will do the once a week DRLD plan. The rest of the time it’ll just be KB 2 and CWON. I don’t want more down days but I think DRLD is worth it. At least worth a run for the next cycle. If it’s too much I can always jump on the New Sanguine next cycle.
I’ve gotten my best outward people manifestations when I was in a bad mood. The only 2 people who really noticed me today weren’t high vibing. The first one was a lady who I wouldn’t be surprised if she was into like voodoo, she just had that style and vibe. The next place I went a guy who was like solid, put up a steel wall to life kind of guy, I was feeling light and he was like the opposite, solid and like heavy. We made eye contact I thought maybe he was someone I knew but he didn’t even crack a smile or lighten up and there was gonna be no greeting, so I just kept on my way. But I felt like I could just stay in that positive CWON vibe and not be affected or caught up. They both made eye contact with me, the only ones and that’s why I noticed them. Yea, neither one of them lightened up in the typical pleasantry kind of way. They just stayed in their mode and vibe.
But I saw this hot blonde when I was in my car leaving. She was in the short shorts, nice and tan. Great body. I felt no insecurity and I felt like I was on that level. She didn’t have any aversion to me, but no opportunity to talk and she looked like she was in a hurry, just running in to grab something and go.